Conure Ruining My Relationship

[Puck]

I think even hard core proponents of keeping birds fully flighted would agree that if you are not capable of living a bird proofed life then the bird must be clipped for his safety. Flighted birds MUST be caged while you are cooking. Ceiling fans must be off and disabled in a way the bird cannot accidentally turn it on. The bird MUST be put away if you open a door to the outside and don't have another door that would keep the bird from flying away. The bird MUST be supervised when in rooms that are not totally bird proofed to make sure they don't do things like chew electrical wires. A lot comes along with keeping a flighted bird, and I know there are many very experienced people on here (Birdman666 for example) who has kept birds both flighted and clipped. For everyone's safety definitely clip his wings, a nice gentle cut that allows him to coast to the ground rather than fall like a rock. They WILL grow back and then you can decide if you are ready to birdproof your home (and if he is well enough trained in things like flight recall so that if he gets scared and suddenly flies someplace you can't easily reach that you have a good chance of getting him down easily. I had untrained flighted budgies for a long time and they were pretty much wild things. They would happily sit with you, but if they startled or just decided they wanted to fly off, there was no getting them down. We overcame the problem by building a heated outdoor aviary rather than clip them, but I think clipping and training is a much better solution. Tell your boyfriend that a cat's claws never come back. A bird's flight feathers will come back. Right now my Quaker has a really nice clip (he had it when I got him). He can fly enough to get from the floor to the couch to his cage. Or if he is on his playstand and wants to be with me he will glide the the floor, flutter across it, then is able to get just enough momentum to get on the couch. When he falls he glides, and we can do flight recall work from about three feet away. His clipped wings are not a huge debilitation to him, but they do keep him safe in parts of my house that aren't birdproofed. So tell your boyfriend that as long as someone knowledgable does it, birds can still be pretty graceful and independent with clipped wings--especially if they learned how to fly well before their wings were first clipped, which yours obviously did. With wing clipping it comes down to the individual situation, and in your position I absolutely suggest a clip, at least until things like putting him up before you cook become automatic instead if something you remember when you get a scare.

 

[Ann333]

I think it would be a good idea to show your bf this entire thread, and get his opinion, since it's his bird.

Agreed. Also getting a cat declared mutilated the cats paws. Wing clipping is like cutting hair and nails. Totally different. My bird is clipped and probably always will be. It's a personal decision. It's worth trying. But it won't help with the screaming and you're going to have to control your anger.

 

[Anansi]

I'm not going to weigh in on whether or not you should get your bird's wings clipped, as that is a personal decision. It is possible to train a flighted bird in home-appropriate behavior. It's just harder and requires more patience... which, given the current level of your frustration and the very limited time you are willing to spend with him, might be impractical for you.

I will say that if you cannot refrain from hitting the conure's cage, and if neither you or your boyfriend can commit to spending significantly more than a half hour a day with him, rehoming would be the more humane option by far.

Also, whether or not you decide to clip should in no way be influenced by the degree to which you have bird-proofed your home. Ajax should be inaccessible to a bird, flighted or not. If you are cooking, particularly if there are open pots in play on your stove top, your bird should either be in his cage or confined to another room. Remember, a bird clipped correctly will only have limited flight capability. He won't be grounded. (A clip that grounds a bird could seriously damage him, as he'll likely fall like a rock from any height rather than gliding to the ground.) So the bird - proofing precautions should be the same.

Finally, I believe Chris' (Kalidasa) suggestion about asking your boyfriend to read through this thread is a good one, since the decision will ultimately be his.

 

[JellyBean]

People have weighed in with amazing and practical advice. But, whilst you and your partner are contemplating the fate of the little bird.. I just wanted to say that although you are going through a rough experience - there is so much joy and love to be had from a conure.. they are truly unique and I believe worth the effort.

 

[StarryEyedGirl]

One of the biggest things that I have learned when it comes to birds at the pet store, you need to make that initial bond before buying one and taking them home. My harley was very... Nippy when we brought him home. Kind of antisocial. But within the first two days he went from being in his cage to flying around. He was an early Christmas gift. Instead of my boyfriend just going out and buying a conure he took me along, since harley would be with me 90% of the time. He went through a biting phase, went through his 'I'm going to fly away from you when you try to get me' phase and after I had his wings clipped at the vet, he calmed down(I think mostly because he was nervous) and started working with him a lot to get him use to the idea that he's not going to be flying for a while. We worked on his biting, his screeching, got him use to playing on his play gym. All that stuff. Now, even though he's starting to get his flight back he is ALWAYS on me. He doesn't bite anywhere as hard as he did(except when he attempted to remove a mole off my boyfriend). He is getting used to me filing his nails so they're not so sharp. The more you put in, the more you get back. Harley is my little man and when I come home from a doctor's appointment and I walk through that door, I say 'where's my boy?!', he usually quacks and/or stretches his wings out to greet me and at that point I say 'there's my boy!' and I open his cage and he comes right out and climbs up onto my shoulder. We worked on that for a while. He also spends all day outside of his cage. If you are serious about a bird, you have to be willing to work with them. I know I posted somewhere on a different thread, but we are working on line whistling and his new word is Uh oh. (he can thank momma for that one haha). It's not easy as training a dog, and you have to be patient. But it's so worth it in the end. I wish you all the best
Ultimately though, do what's best for the bird. If you can't take care of the bird or have no time for them, then maybe you should rehome the bird. Harley spends at least 6 hours interacting with us. He let's us know when he wants his alone time(he is currently in his first molt).


Might I add, I am bipolar and I hit the cage once on accident because I tripped over something and landed into the cage but as soon as I got up I kept apologizing to harley. Just try controlling your anger. Harley is my bird baby and I wouldn't hit a baby for crying so I wouldn't hit harley for crying/screaming.

 

[Doublete]

Has the OP seen this or did she freak out and not come back?

 

[JerseyWendy]

Has the OP seen this or did she freak out and not come back?

She hasn't chimed in since yesterday, however, it's entirely possible she's reading the forums as a guest, and has indeed read all the responses. (Fingers crossed)

 

[Doublete]

I hope so! Everybody only meant to help.
Sometimes hard to hear though.

 

[JosephN79]

Kyoto..I wasn't directed at you..

Puck..That's what I meant...

Its easy to get fired up over birds. Lol

 

[JosephN79]

We bought our ringneck at a pet store... We visited him for like 3 months until we bought him. Our parakeets were from the same place. I don't know if he remembers them but he's very protective. He screeches at me when I have my hands in their cage or feeding them

Good luck to the OP... No Ill will here