Confession of mental conflict about parrot

[plumsmum2005]

Owning a parrot(s) is IMO definitely a lifestyle choice, they come first, what you can fit in around them is a bonus. What you get back is oh so precious, the trust, the love, they give back, makes me feel quite emotional sometimes when you stop for a minute and actually think about it. Wouldn't change it!

 

[riddick07]

You can definitely take them with you when you travel. Harness and/or carrier for the outdoors. And there are plenty of hotels that allow them you just have to check. My mother and stepfather take their blue and gold when they travel. They use a dog crate as a travel cage. You can also hire someone to come in and play with or just feed him while your gone. Or if you have a bird that is easy going some shelters do boarding. You would just have to research the shelter really well.

 

[Scott]

It's probably anathema to say, but even people - who have promised 'till death do us part - sometimes change and get divorced. It makes sense that if a person can fall out of love with a human, they could fall out of love with a bird. But the bird doesn't understand. People also separate from their children which is maybe a better analogy, as the children don't usually choose or want or understand why one parent isn't there anymore. It's not ideal but it happens. This is why I look at parrot "ownership" as a lifelong commitment. It's cruel to the parrot to send it away. It's too bad there's no way to audition possible mates and let the bird go home with its true love. The heart wants what the heart wants. My sister has seven house cats, and folks have multiple big birds, because sometimes that's what it takes. I hope you find the right combination of feathered odalisques for your harem. :red: need more newspaper!

One of the most captivating features of living with parrots is their innocence and total dependence on their human companions. We bring them into our homes and demand they suppress their instincts often so incompatible with mammals. I find it incumbent to do whatever I can to make their lives as interesting, interactive, and safe as possible.

 

[sonja]

I've *always* had a dream of packing up the critters and going on an RV trip! I think that sounds like a lot of fun!

 

[jdlehman76]

I can understand your situation as my wife is not really a bird person either. I do have a suggestion for overnight trips and possibly a 1-2 day trip. We have an CAG, Bella, who is a rescue and is slow to accept other humans besides myself. To help when we are on vacation we set up a large outdoor cage, (4'x8'by 7' tall). I get creative in putting food in the cage to force Bella to forage for the food. I have two sources of water and plenty of shelter from the elements. I can put more food then she needs in there so that she doesn't run out of anything. This way I can go overnight without worrying about her. If I am gone more then overnight then my neighbor can monitor her and make sure everything is okay. I know others that have done the same thing with good results.

 

[Piasa]

Silver Sage and others have given you some wonderful examples of travels with the birds.

I'm a migratory bird. I'm compelled to keep moving. I don't think I could be any other way. I've lived in an RV for almost a decade now with my birds. And before that, have tent camped with my little conure, lived on the college campus with him, and for a short time even lived out of my car with him. Pak-o-Bird and other backpack carriers open up so many possibilities for adventures. Its fun for the birds and the people involved.

 

[SilleIN]

If your human isn't really into travelling too much, it might encourage him to travel with you, if Gus can come too. And Gus will love it. My B&G LOVES to go for car rides and go different places. He has come with me to work, shopping, visiting friends, basically everywhere I go, he goes. If taking Gus will make your human more interested in travelling, wouldn't that be a win/win?

Whether you want to take Gus with you or you would rather have a holiday alone, I am sure that can be solved. There has been mentioned a lot of different options and I am sure you can find either teens to house/bird sit or find a suitable shelter with macaw experience to care for Gus, while you are away.

And sorry if I out you, but I have read a lot of your posts and they are not just "normal" concern, you LOVE that bird I even believe I saw you write it yourself

 

[Kentuckienne]

I love that bird, I do. That's why it's a genuine conflict. I love the little bird, but it's a breathtaking responsibility. I didn't want another bird, but the better half can't live without, so who gets to win and who has to lose? We are trying a middle way. He gets a bird, and I choose how much to be involved. If I want to go on an expedition - like going to see the eclipse in Oregon next year - then I go, instead of whining about all the things I can't do because bird. If he wants to go, we figure out how to bring him along or arrange care. I'm lucky because my sister has 7 cats, and the only way they can go on vacation is if I stay at her house and take care of them. They are high maintenance. This creates pet sitting detente. So when we need to go, we install bird in the large spare cage upstairs where the cats don't go. Bird doesn't get as much attention as home, but she spends as much time with him as possible, and the BFA accepted her enough to take food, step up, whistle and sing and talk and I expect Gus will do even better. I guess point is we both make the choices we need to make, let one another make those same choices, and trust that we have enough love and goodwill between us to make it work.

I did not sign the adoption papers because I wasn't willing to make that lifetime promise, but I don't think it changes how I feel about him. It would be very hard to let go of Gus after even this short time, so as the years go by he will be pretty entrenched in my heart. I hope I will do right by him. I am nearly overcome with the warmth and support of this group, and it gives me a little more confidence knowing that if we run into troubles with his health or care, there are helpful voices who can answer questions and give good advice. It makes me think I can do this, because I don't have to do it alone. On Gus's, my husband's and my own behalf, humble thanks to all.

 

[Kentuckienne]

Silver Sage and others have given you some wonderful examples of travels with the birds.

I'm a migratory bird. I'm compelled to keep moving. I don't think I could be any other way. I've lived in an RV for almost a decade now with my birds. And before that, have tent camped with my little conure, lived on the college campus with him, and for a short time even lived out of my car with him. Pak-o-Bird and other backpack carriers open up so many possibilities for adventures. Its fun for the birds and the people involved.

I didn't know about birdie backpacks ...that might be fun. Always wanted to get a little RV - I've been back and forth across the country so many times and I start to fade in one place too long. We did some travel with the 'zon and care time was fine, hotels never cared, but no way to take him into a restaurant or leave him in the car while going for a hike or to a museum or roadside attraction. I stop for worlds largest prairie dog, albino buffalo, Sue the giant Fiberglass cow and an RV with ac would solve most of that.

 

[goalerjones]

My wife is in the same position. We had a rescue Jenday conure named George. Then he died and I was, as his primary bond, quite devastated. But I got rid of all the cages, toys, etc and decided to agree with George Carlin, and accept that owning a pet is, "a mini tragedy waiting to happen." But as time went on, my wife, not me said, "you should think about getting another bird ". She said, "you're a different person when you have a bird." She soldiers on with our new Hahns macaw, but does so out of devotion to our pets, not because she loves the bird like I do.

Vacations alone can be nice. But you miss out on the sharing. Perhaps you can find a way to board the bird and have some one on one time with your spouse? Find someone you trust and let them help you.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

 

[jhsatx]

Found this under a thread that was current.

 

[DiscoDuck]

There was a part in your post that stuck out to me.

So I think down the road he might need to get one.
I feel enormous trepidation about taking on such a responsibility. I feel guilty about wanting to go off for a long trip.

You appear to be the "boss" . These are my opinions based on what you wrote.

Let him have a bird. Tell him its his job to care for it. And that nothing else will change with what you deal with already....

Am I being fair and balanced? I'm trying to be.. I am offering a what would be my solution if I was in your shoes.

 

[PetoftheDay]

Much respect for your initial post, and of course you should keep posting. relationships are always work, no matter what - and even s set-parront relationship is a relationship!

 

[GaleriaGila]

My ol' man and I reread this today, and just resonated! Forums veterans will be able to guess who resonated to what!
Kentuckienne, keep Amazonienning!
xoxoxo
The Patagonienne

 

[Kentuckienne]

It’s the key to everything. We all have to be who we are, and who we are changes over time. If i insisted that my life partners never change, and try to st@y the same myself, we can’t grow. It’s a common refrain in breakups - “we just grew apart”. That’s no reason to part. Maybe there is room to stretch a little. Maybe find a space where each person can move more deeply unto their authentic self, while still holding open a space where the other belongs. The partner needs a parrot? The question becomes, can I live with a parrot, or can I not? If I want to life a life that’s authentically mine, then everybody else gets to do it, too. And I can live with that. I can live with that very well.

I’m grateful for this community for helping me to see over the fence and to make peace with the monsters there. Who’s a good monster? You are!

 

[Rival_of_the_Rickeybird]

I am, I am. I'm a good monster. The Patagonienne says so. And the Patagonian hasn't had to bite me in maybe 5 years.