Can a teil bond with another after a bereavement of her partner

[vickyconway]

Today, I had to make the totally devastating decision to put my beautiful baby to sleep Samson was 10 years old (Teil) and so, so loved by me, by his girlfreind Delilah who has also been with him for 10 years and my budgie Oscar, who at 13 years old has also known Samson since a baby and all his life. I also have 3 other budgies who are very lost at the sudden change in their flock and group dynamics.

Samson had some serious health problems and as much as I have tried to do the best by my birds in trying to be as educated as possible and not use any harmful products around the house; somewhere, I have gone wrong. I know the dangers of teflon, any kind of sprays, candles etc. My birds are my life and I have always tried to do my best for them, I am completely devastated and finding this very hard. The worse thing is, Delilah, his mate for 10 years, is beside herself. She has called for him non-stop all day and looks to me with total hope and panick in her eyes when I come in the room as she thinks I have him. It's heart breaking. Can anyone give me some advice on how to help Lila, it's breaking my heart. Has anyone had a similar experience, do you think she may take to another teil in the future? She doesn't like my budgies too much as they have been pretty bossy towards her over the years so she can't take much comfort from them. She just looks to me with desperation in her eyes, please help, I can't bear this thank you X

 

[Nakiska]

Awwww....I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss.

I think that your Delilah will calm down in a few days or maybe longer, the mourning process is different for everyone.

Just be there for her, talk to her, if she likes to be handled, hold her and keep her with you as much as you can, or if she'd rather be alone, then give her some space.

Loss is difficult but we usually heal over time, I don't see why it would be any different for our birds.

In my prayers,

Toni

 

[vickyconway]

Thank you for the lovely reply Nakiska, I feel I will never get over this loss, so I can't imagine how my little Lila feels, she's been with him for 10 years since a baby, she's just beside herself. Does anyone think she may bond with another bird eventually? Can't bear the thought of her on her own xx

 

[MikeyTN]

She can be alone and just act perfectly fine! She will eventually get over it. Yes she can accept another mate but you must introduce them slowly as she is set in her own way. Sorry about your loss, I just dealt with one tiel passing not long ago myself. I lost a female. The male have a new girl friend now. Plus I used to raise Tiels for many years and I switch mates often.

 

[vickyconway]

Thanks Mikey, that's reasuring x

 

[Spiritbird]

Truly a sad event in your life. Just like people our birds will go through a period of grief. The wild birds that mate for life will eventually take a new mate so maybe your bird Will also. I would just give her some time to be alone with your guidance and caring. I would go as far as telling her her mate will not return in this life but she will see him in another. It is important that you not blame yourself for her illness. You sound like a very good person and I am sure your flock knows that.

Please keep an eye our for her to make sure she is getting enough food and water and give her some extra loving.

 

[MikeyTN]

Your very welcome!!! I hope everything goes well!!

 

[vickyconway]

Thank you Spirit Bird, that was a lovely message. My birds mean so much to me, I will try to let her grieve in her own way, however, when Samson spent nearly a week in the hospital lately, I thought she was going to die, she looked so desolate and ill. I'm not sure how long to wait until getting another teil to try to at least distract her a little, although after 10 years Samson cannot be replaced but I don't want Lila to be so lonely xx

 

[vickyconway]

And thank you Mikey, your pic's of your birds are beautiful and they obviously have an amazing Dad! X

 

[Nakiska]

Thank you for the lovely reply Nakiska, I feel I will never get over this loss, so I can't imagine how my little Lila feels, she's been with him for 10 years since a baby, she's just beside herself. Does anyone think she may bond with another bird eventually? Can't bear the thought of her on her own xx

Oh, I totally know how you feel when you say that you feel you will never get over this loss. My first tiel was a gray male tiel I named Chaco. My father in law found him in his front yard and after several weeks of placing ads and hanging posters trying to find his original owner, he called me up and asked if I'd like a bird. Of course I said yes.

Chaco was very smart, taught me everything he knew and I learned. I didn't know a thing about owning cockatiels and thankfully I had the internet at my fingertips. I read and studied and researched and craved every bit of information I could find.

I loved him so much and in return he loved me as much I'm sure.

When I lost him a year later, I was truly devistated. I had no desire for another bird at all. And I have and have had LOTS of animals in my life, cats, dogs, horses, fish, goats, rescued strays, injured, sick, took in unwanteds...you name it. I was no stranger to loss.

But with Chaco it just seemed different. More personal...maybe because he talked to me...I don't know.

It was 5 years before I had healed and the overwhelming urge to have another tiel in my life struck. Now I have 4 cockatiels and a conure AND a pigeon! Chaco is never far from my thoughts, I do miss him still...but I dearly love each and everyone of my birds as much as I loved him. And because he taught me so much, I have had a very rich and full relationship with each of our birds we have.

Your "Lila" will settle and heal. Give her and yourself some time. And Trust in yourself, you will know when the time is right to bring a new addition into your home.

Good Luck and here's to rapid healing.

Toni

 

[roxynoodle]

I'm so sorry for your loss. And I know how much it hurts that you can't explain to Lila what happened. I can't speak for birds losing a mate, but I have had horses and cats that grieved over the loss of a close friend, and it's so heartbreaking that they can't understand.

And I know how you feel as well. I still cry rather often over my Blue Crown conure who passed in October. I've gotten 2 more great birds since then, and Merlin reminds me very much of her. But, of course I'm still grieving over Bri as well.

 

[vickyconway]

Thank you so much for that Toni, I know what you mean, I also have had many pets in my life but the love I feel for my birds seems deeper they give so much back. Well today Lila is still frantic and calling out non-stop, I just wish there was something I could do to help her, poor mite xx