Bonding with foster parrot - Please read

[BlissInOblivion]

Hey folks, I'm brand new here. Little bit of background info on my question.

I'm currently in the possession of a beautiful 21 year old african grey named Barney. His owner has had him since he was a hatchling. His family has been through quite the **** show recently, which is why I have him currently. Owners wife is in the hospital, they had to leave and sell their house last minute and are currently in an apartment. Barney is with me and their pooch is with another friend. All in all Barns has been through a very, very stressful few months. To top it off, the first night in my home we believe he had a night fright which resulted in him lacerating his wing and beating up his face quite a bit. He had already clotted up, but we decided to take him to the emergency vet anyway. Because he was so stressed out and I'm a new person he would not step up, which resulted in a two hour stand off to get him into a box and on our way to the vet. Stress stress and more stress.
Every day since he has been doing better, talking more and just generally in a better mood. However he still won't step up (I don't blame him) but it's an issue because if we want to let him out somebody has to be with him until he decides to go back in his cage. (sometimes he won't go back until 11:30 pm)
I've been working with trust gaining with food and just being around him. I have bribed him to halfway step up a few times, but that's about it.
So, end question, what can I do to be gaining his trust? Are there any tricks we could be training that don't require him to step up/be touched? Is there anything else I could be doing to help him relax and gain back his confidence/find confidence in me? He's stubborn, but i'm more so, I just want to make sure that I'm doing things right and won't accidentally set us back.

Thank you all,

Bliss + Barney

 

[SailBoat]

Thank you, for taking in this Parrot! Understand what is would be like for a three year old Human child to be pulled away from their family! It's the same reality for this Parrot!

Fostering is never a good place to start from. How bonded you chose to become is important, because if you become fully bonded, this Parrot may not want to leave you! If your goal is simply to develop a level of trust that will take a slightly different direction.

A few basics that will go to either of your choices would be:

Only good things happen when you or any one in your family is interacting with this Parrot.

It is NEVER the fault of the Parrot! It is ALWAYS the fault of the Human! Understanding everything from this vantage point will quickly let you find what you are doing wrong and correct it!

Do not push beyond the comfort level of the Parrot. Everything is done is tiny small steps. So break things down into small steps and process from there.

There is not reason for this Parrot to trust you, you need to create that trust one tiny step at a time.

 

[Taw5106]

Welcome and have lots and lots of patience, I can't stress that enough. We brought Buzz home last May, he's a CAG and it took 9 months to get him out of his cage. We still have issues with step up, but we have a good relationship. He takes food from me, loves whistling, singing and talking, right now he's doing R2 D2, his latest favorite sound. CAGs are very cautious birds and talk about smart! We have a level of trust but he still is cautious. He's not snugly like my Ekkie or Amazon but he's a foody, loves playing with toys, I keep alphabet blocks for him which he delightfully turns into tooth picks. Make sure he has toys and he stays busy, this will help. Something I do is take empty toilet paper rolls, put shredded paper in them with almonds and Buzz spends time getting the nuts out. Buzz loves to shred and destroy and when I take a new toy to him he's not shy and will take it eagerly to check it out and get busy.

Also even though I cover my birds I have night lights in the room, soft light so they aren't in pitch black. I started this after my Amazon Buddy fell off his perch one night. That means get help with night time.


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[BlissInOblivion]

Thank you so much for your reply! The issue is i'm not sure how long I will be keeping him. His owner definitely wants him back, but they are living in an apartment (with no plans on moving) where he is not allowed.

I have been going very slowly, and always make sure to end whatever we're doing on a positive note and a treat. I have done my very best to respect his wishes, as soon as he starts shows signs of being upset I back off immediately and we try something else or just whistle for a while. Nothing good ever comes from pushing someone past their comfort zone unless they are ready to do so.

Do you have any suggestions on what actions to take? I'm just not even sure where to start. Step up is too much right now, but that's the first thing that everyone recommends starting with. Are there less invasive tricks we can work on or other bonding steps?

Taw5106,

Thank you! I'm prepared for the long haul with patience in abundance. I rescued a horse last year and it took me a month before I could even get near her. With lots of hard work, patience, and trust building we now have the most amazing bond. I'm determined to have a good relationship with Barney, but on his terms. He is actually a very snuggly bird, so I imagine on some level he misses the physical contact. He absolutely loves R2D2 as well!

I'm actually working on some foraging toys right now! He loves them so i've tried to make sure he has at least a few foraging toys as well as his shredding toys and bell.

He gets covered at night, but after his little night fright i've purhchased him a night light and we haven't had any more episodes.

 

[BeatriceC]

You can start with getting him to take treats out of your hands, while in the cage, and then move to target training in the cage. That will help him earn to trust you, but not take him out of his comfort zone for now.

And thank you for taking this little guy in.

 

[SailBoat]

Do you have any suggestions on what actions to take? I'm just not even sure where to start. Step up is too much right now, but that's the first thing that everyone recommends starting with. Are there less invasive tricks we can work on or other bonding steps?

Excellent question!!!
The reason Step-Up is such a standard is that 'most' everything starts from there!

Remember what I provided regarding tiny steps! Far too many people try to do it all in one complete Step-Up! Think in small segment; parrot become comfortable with finger near body, Parrot becomes comfortable with finger side making contact with lower chest, Parrot becomes comfortable with one claw on finger, etc.. See, small tiny steps!

Can you work on other interactions, Of Course! Just Remember small Tiny Steps!!!

 

[BlissInOblivion]

Thank you everybody! You have all been most helpful.

 

[Kentuckienne]

Hey there! See if you can find a copy of "The Second Hand Parrot" which will have tons of useful information. I'm not the expert...search this forum for posts by Birdman666 who used to work with rescue parrots. Some tidbits I have picked up are to let the bird set the pace, but also to follow through - meaning thaof if you ask for a step up, he has to come, otherwise he learns he can refuse and be in control. And it's a good idea to get something in writing with the original owner. For example, who pays for vet care? Food? Toys? At what point does the bird stay with you and not go back to the original owner? If he bonds with you and is happy, it could be upsetting for him to return, especially if the last time with those owners was difficult.all these things are to avoid misunderstandings in the future.

 

[BeatriceC]

I thought of this thread while I was literally sitting at my desk, browsing Facebook, with my hand just sitting in my son's new lovebird's cage, not moving. The little guy isn't tame at all, so I'm starting with just getting him to figure out that hands won't hurt him. I literally just stuck my hand in the cage, rested it on a perch, and didn't move for ten minutes. He's still too scared to touch my hand, but he's getting curious about it. Tomorrow I'll add a pine nut or something tiny but tasty to try to coax him to actually touch my hand. My son is doing the same thing. Together we do this about four times each day (combined). Over time, the little guy will eventually feel safe. But for now, we start with what seems like agonizingly slow and tiny baby steps.

 

[LeaKP]

Greys are really sensitive and thrive on routine. As Barney is exposed to your home he will grow increasingly accustomed to how everything runs. One day, his foot will come up and you'll know, it is ok. Talk to him all the time, offer treats, be nearby and he will be ok. Will follow your news with interest. Once you all are friends, the rest is history!

 

[plumsmum2005]

Again sending thanks for taking Barney in, in his time of need.

I have a question, do his owners/parronts plan on visiting him whilst he is with you? He probably feels he has been abandoned if he has no contact with them. Surely they can help you in getting Barney to trust you. He will observe your relationship, things like hugs between you. It may be that you can get to play 'warm potato' with him and them? If he sees they trust, he may a bit sooner? Good luck.

 

[Scott]

Welcome to the forums, thanks for joining! I have a hunch you will have Barney for quite a while, so perhaps you should not draw a distinction, for now, between fostering and ownership. Greys do not like change, but unfortunately you must do what is best for him. You've already stepped-up (pun intended!) by giving him a home.

As others have posted, Greys are naturally cautious and extremely intelligent. Slow and consistent steps will garner trust and progress.

Two favorite threads discussing bonding and trust may be helpful:

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/49144-tips-bonding-building-trust.html

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/3100-bond-forming.html

Good luck, and please continue the dialog with questions and observations!

 

[DRB]

One additional thing not sure if it has been mentioned, but the bird will catch on to tricks or bribes and figure out that there is an alternate motive behind them. My 15mo CAG has started to stand her ground a bit more when she isn't interested in going back in her cage. I put her foraging toy back on the door to draw to back inside and she will just sit there and look at me like "do you really think I'm this stupid".

Also, not sure if I ever asked anyone, but how do parrots age in relation to us or other animals? Is one parrot year equal to a factor of X, like a dog year is supposedly a factor of 7 human years?

 

[Billdore]

Finding his favorite treats will go a long way. Thats how I started with my TAG. Then I would just sit next to the cage and talk to her. Pine nuts and Grapes are Timnehs favorites. Organic is best and well washed to make sure to get any pesticides off. Then I could stand closer and closer and just chat resting my hand closer and closer. Not sure how it is with all CAGs but when you do finally decide to see if he will step up don't be hesitant put your finger right up so his lower chest. Not like aggressively or too fast but don't go back and forth Timneh seemed to know if I was being hesitant and would cut me off. And most of all listen to everything Sailboats says!!!! So glad your giving this fellow a good home during his transitions. I always wonder how my TAG felt during her replacement.