I read this thread when I first signed up to take a Harlequin Macaw from a rescue.... and it was all I needed. I used every bit of it. He is 9 years old. He was a resident of the rescue 2 different times and I'm his 3rd owner.
I had him stepping up pretty consistently after a week.
For flinching - When I hold my arm out, sometimes I look the other direction. This prevents me from flinching if I get "tested". He's mostly bluff anyway and this takes away some of his intimidation factor. Otherwise I keep eye contact.
For lunging - He only did this for a few days. I would move quickly and then move right back to position. It was my way of saying, "I'm not looking to get bitten, but I'm not backing off either."
I listened to the bird. He is nice enough to shrug me off when he is done with me. In the beginning, it was a quick tap of his beak which was scary. But I learned and paid attention. Now, its a shrug motion. He has learned that I pay attention to his gestures and now he is more subtle with them. He is smart and perfectly willing to communicate if I listen. (I'm trainable, in other words)
I got him away from his cage. He isn't cage bound. In fact he is quite happy to run across the floor and explore his toy basket. But he is a little different close to his cage and far away from it. He is more different when I have him out of the house and out in public. He becomes less independent out in the world. He has to trust me more. It is good bonding. It is great for his confidence and our communication.
We sometimes forget how serious they look. They can't smile because of the way they are shaped, so we have to search for their non-verbal cues that will give us an idea of what kind of mood they are in.
Excitement - wings out slightly, bobbing up and down
Fear - climbing up on my shoulder, seeking higher ground
Irritated, Grumpy - flinching away
Love - Getting in my personal space. Leaning close to my face.
Chattering / Macking beak - That is good scratching.... right there - that spot
A week after I had him he ran across his cage and clicked his beak against my glasses. The room went quiet. All the color drained out of my wife's face. "He tried to bite you in the face." I looked back at the bird. He bobbed his head up and down. "Nope, he was joking around." I bobbed my head up and down. He knew what glasses were and I wasn't paying attention to him. His joking Blue and Gold nature came out.
We are 6 months or so into it and getting along great. Thanks again for the post. It should be required reading for anyone getting a Macaw.
CD