Bad Bad Mommy

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I was a Bad Bad Mommy tonight and I really know better than to do what I did. I had a sleepy bird on my shoulder and was putting my 3 year old female Alexandrine to bed ( into her sleep cage ) when I was surprised by a bite to the face. A little back ground - she has been flighted for last 2 months and has gotten more demanding and aggressive. There are many things she wants her way about and I am trying to work out a system where she can stay flighted but not be such a pest. In her opinion - I should not - wear glasses unless I plan on letting her chew on them - I should not make coffee - I should most certainly not even look at another bird if she is on my should ( she flies to my should but also comes when I request ) I should know not to put her in her cage if she is not willing - I should not have paper work in piles. I work at home and this is becoming a problem. I really want to allow her to fly as she looks happy and healthy and much more alert ( she has gotten much smarter too ) but I am struggling to find the balance between her freedom and my peace. Well, back to tonight. I was trying not to let her see that I was upset with her when I went to put her to bed but I was...I need my glasses and she was not leaving them alone. It was already late ( after 9 pm ) so I told her she was going to bed. All was fine till we enter the room and than with no warning she gave me a bite to the face. It was not hard enough to draw blood but I was so startled I swiped her on the beck. It was not hard enough to even cause her to loose her balance but I was shocked that I had reacted that way. This is my confession. I was a Bad Bad Mommy tonight and I really hope you guys can make some suggestions on this aggressive behavior because I don't want to ever ever do that again. Lynne

 

[SharonC]

Lynne, don't beat yourself up. I think sometimes we just make mistakes, and react inappropiately. As long as we realize that it's the wrong reaction, it'll be fine. I did a similiar thing with Fred a couple of days ago, and reacted in anger to a hard bite. I actually don't see anything wrong in letting a bird know that something has displeased you, but a firm NO, rather than an angry reaction, is what's required...and sometimes hard when there's skin hanging off your hand! LOL! How's the little guy today...he's probably already forgiven you!

 

[Spiritbird]

I do understand. When we are hurt by someone or some animal it is a natural instinct to reach out and give back. You will do better if there is a next time.

 

[lisamarie973]

I have just recently started noticing some (2 yr old tantrum) behaviour from Maui, myself, it seems, the more independent he gets, the more he demands his WANTS, to include.... "Oh HELL no, you're NOT making me go home, because I don't WANT to go home right now" That's my version of what I think he's thinking, LOL.... But, in actuality he starts to bite down and run up my arm to my shoulder and around my back, he generally doesn't clamp down too hard, but he IS protesting, for sure. I've learned that if I gently grab his beak and say softly (with eye contact) "No Bite, Maui, No bite, that hurts Mommy" He backs off the biting, then I start explaining that he must go home for a little while, because that's what is safe for him for the time being, then I promise to allow him to come back out in just a little while and if you're a good bird, we'll even go "outside" on the lanai. NOW, I realize that it seems like a mouthful for a 10 week old baby, but it redirects his attention to listening to my vocalization while I'm much better able to ease him up on his perch in his cage.

Once he's inside and I've closed the door, I make a HUGE ordeal about what a GOOD BABY he is for listening to Mommy, Such a BIG BOY, YAYYYYYY Mauiiiiiii, GOOD BIRDDDDD!!!!! Generally will give him a pumpkin seed at that point or some Millet Spray or any other of his faves.

If he starts calling for me when he see's me walking by his cage, I continue to explain that cage time is only for a little while, so Mommy can't get dinner cooked (or whatever I may need to do) I stop by his cage every so often and give him a little beak rub through the bars and praise him for playing, pecking at his pellets or whatever he's doing to keep himself busy and not whining to come out.

I know all birds are different in nature, but, I know that you'll find something that motivates yours to please you as well. They do have their own will for sure, but they also REALLY enjoy being a good bird, because that means head scratches, snuggles, treats, praise or whatever form of positive reinforcement you decide to give.

I treat Maui as if he WERE a 2 yr old, and with most babies, it's easier to redirect bad behaviour than it is to wait for it to happen and punish. Maui LOVES to get on the back of the couch and CHEW my blinds, I try to catch him before he even gets started, then I walk over calmly, ask him to step up and take him to a different area with some favorite toys, new toys, favorite area and step him down. It's amazing how quickly they forget about doing that one "NO NO" thing, when something MORE fun and exciting is presented to him.

I'm no bird expert, but I can tell you this much, having Maui is MUCH like having a child, my children almost ALWAYS responded much better to redirecting bad behaviour (when you can) than to be spanked or yelled at. For my more persisitent and oppositional girl, a little time out worked WONDERS!!! If he PERSISTS to bite you, very calmly placing him in his cage (no words) and walking away for a short period works as well, they begin to associate the biting with no Mommy interaction and yes, a little "time out". I wouldn't recommend leaving him there for any length of time, as just like children, they tend to forget the purpose. 5 minutes at most, take him back out and repeat the in the cage 5 minutes (directly after the bite). When taking him out, talk to him, tell him he's coming out because he's a good bird and doesn't bite Mommy anymore, right? no more biting Mommy, right? kinda thing in a sweet calm voice.

Just telling you what works for me, I'm sure the other folks may have other better idea's, but between all of us, you might find something that works perfect for you!!

Good Luck and sorry about the book I just wrote, got off on a tangen I guess.

PS... You are NOT a bad MOMMY at all, you're human and as humans we ALL react, especially to PAIN or being STARTLED. The important thing is that you seem to really understand what you shouldn't do, now all you've got to do is find what works best for you!!

 

[parrotqueen]

I would have to agree with Sharon. Discipline with words is the only kind you should give your bird, because the bird will not understand a physical reaction. Never let too much time pass when disciplining, because then the bird might not understand the vocal discipline either.

 

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Thanks Everybody, I really needed to confuse it to someone. Tonight was a much better night. I really thought about what she was telling me with her aggression and I had help from your comments. 1 - she wanted my attention and all she was getting was being put to bed 2- the room was already dark as the other birds were asleep already 3- I had been out of town last weekend and she might still be upset 4- she really needs TLC even though she does not seek it...so tonight I gave her a lot of direct attention and I took her to the den and cuddled with her, After that she went to bed no problems...but I am not so stupid that I was going to trust her on my should again when going to bed. I placed her in her cage from a hand carried perch.