Am I doing what is right for him?

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Boniface

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Nov 3, 2014
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Hi all. So I have come to the hard decision to rehome my parrot. Patrick is a 2 year old Senegal who I've had since he was 6 months old. He has been a very loving companion but things recently have deteriorated. We have to leave him alone for 11 hours a day, we can't give him the amount of sleep he needs and he has started to attack me (fly at my face to bite me).

I cannot give him the time and attention he needs, I spend all the time I can at home with him and we are going backwards he is becoming more aggressive and unruly. It is also having a detrimental affect on my life, I feel I can't do anything ever.

I don't really want to rehome him but realistically I dont think i can give him what he needs any more.
I want to at least do what it right for Patrick.

I'm not sure what the best option is, I was thinking about a sanctuary where he can be in an aiviary with other senegals etc. That way he can be with his own kind and being raised originally in an aiviary with his parents he might enjoy this more (that and he hates cages, he flies around our house freely and is never in the cage).

But I'm not sure.

What do you think?
 
Hi can you give us a little more meat on the bones to help us try and see if we can all give you the help you need?

What occurs that means he has to spend so much time alone? Any family etc that you socialise Patrick with? what is his cage like? What is his diet like? why can't he sleep through the night? Agreed Patrick doesn't sound a very happy parrot at the moment but that can change, with you or someone else, your choice? Sanctuary, unsure?
 
Such a hard decision.

I faced the very same many, many years ago. I was fearing getting evicted due to his noise... and my family at the time HATED him. I remember sitting on the floor of my townhouse, watching him race and skip and frolic around on the tile floor, and then run to me GRINNING, so proud to be showing off his swag. I would just stare at him and be amazed: imagine --- a real parrot in my house, and it loved me! I felt so guilty and inadequate and afraid at one point that I had him in his travel cage and was planning to take him back to the bird store. I opened the front door and couldn't go through. Closed it. Sat down. Took my little love out and promised him we would stay together. I didn't really believe it, but I wanted to. Eventually, I did. I was in college back then, and at least I could spend a lot of time with him.

Then came the years of WORK... 25+ years. I was usually gone 10 hours a day. We went through some rough patches of his attacking me and not even wanting to come out of his cage. I eventually managed to show him that he could count on me for definite time, even if only 10-15 minutes at dawn and dusk. Then a lot more on weekends. I kept a strict schedule. I figured he'd accept the reliability of being able to know what he could count on.

Somehow we made it through. I'm now retired and times are good again... BUT... when I first started being able to spend much more time, he was strangely aggressive and jumpy. Eventually we settled down.

I don't know if I am doing you a service or a dis-service in even suggesting you keep your bird. I do know I can't imagine life without him at this point.

Good luck to you in making a decision. And welcome to the Forum... you'll get lots of empathy and advice here.
 
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Patrick is mostly alone because of work, we have to leave before 7am and get back about 5:30pm.
He never gets to have a proper night's sleep undisturbed because he lives and sleeps in our living room (we don't have much room) so we get up at 6am and go to bed about 10-11pm. If we're having friends over that can mean much later. That only gives him about 8 hours not the ideal 10-12. He likes to sleep on our shelf.
He never goes in his cage, I've tried and he bites me hard. If I somehow manage to get him in the cage he then rubs all the feathers out of his head (he was bald on top when we got him from being in a cage). He hasn't been in his cage a lot in the last 2 years we've had him.
His diet is nutriberries, fresh fruit/veg, nuts and seeds in varying amounts.
We don't really get to socialise him much, most people we know are 'busy' with their own lives, we occasionally get visitors at our home usually this is in the evening when he's 'sleeping'. Our flat isn't really designed to have many people in it.

I know my wife doesn't really like Patrick. She gave up trying with him ages ago, and she's so stubborn that i cannot get her to try. Her words are, "Unlike you, I'm not willing to get bitten so I just don't touch him."

These are the reasons I feel rehoming him is a better option.
 
I'm so sorry. I'd hold your hand if I could. I'm just so sorry.

By the way... weren't Saints Boniface and Patrick contemporaries?
 
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Sorry, i feel rehoming should be the very very last resort, after you have tried everyhing, and given verything a good long chance to work.
right now this sennie knows you as his family.. dysfuntional one but his family none the less, rehoming can only start the long slide to a willd parrot, unadoptable by people, who he deep down loves as his people.
 
Do you have a particular sanctuary or aviary in mind? I only ask because they are very hard to find, and often have wait lists because they are so full. Oftentimes they require some sort of monetary provisions for the bird you send there.

I think rehomed birds do better when you have a direct hand in choosing their new home and family, making sure it is a safe and good fit for them. It sounds like you have time to look and decide on the right place/people. He has been a loving companion and active part of your life, so he is well equipped to be happy, involved, and loved in a new household.

You are doing your best by him. These are not easy decisions and I feel for you. I hope the right solution comes to you soon.
 
Just a few more thoughts. I told the long version of my (and the Rickeybird's) story above, but I can add something that MIGHT help.

There were years (about 25 of him) when 5-6 days a week, I was gone at 7:30-ish and back at 6-ish.

Some did and will consider me wrong and think I should have re-homed. My husband at that time detested the bird. My current ol' man tolerates him with good humor. No, the bird wasn't responsible for the first marriage's ending!

Anyway, here is what I think made it work.

I moved and got new jobs maybe 5 times or so. Every morning, he had at least ten minutes, and every evening, he had 20 or so. I have always kept him on a natural light schedule, in a separate room, so sometimes those times together were in the dark. During the day, he had a big window looking out on something interesting, a television on his favorite channel (CNN - he loves talking heads), a biggg cage, lots of fun foods, and a few toys that I changed out regularly).

He KNEW he could count on those two crummy sessions a day. Somehow we both made it.

Again, good luck to you and Patrick.
 
BEfore you try rehoming him I have a suggestion.

Do you have a closet?

This is going to sound crazy I promise... but my sister and I have found this WORKS for the birds.

I have a cage IN MY CLOSET in my personal bedroom. I leave the door cracked and this is where Porter sleeps.

He gets his ten to twelve hours this way; he goes in pronto at 8pm (The silly thing puts himself to sleep if we don't do this in his day cage...)

And comes out at 7am in the morning before I go to work.

The routine, means he gets DEFINATE time with me he appreciates and a routine that means he knows what is going to happen when it happens.

He gets fed as he comes out in the morning, and a half an hour before he goes to bed.

Routine makes for happy birds.

Even if it means a small cage in a cracked closet xD
 
Boniface said:
Hi all. So I have come to the hard decision to rehome my parrot. Patrick is a 2 year old Senegal who I've had since he was 6 months old. He has been a very loving companion but things recently have deteriorated. We have to leave him alone for 11 hours a day, we can't give him the amount of sleep he needs and he has started to attack me (fly at my face to bite me).

I cannot give him the time and attention he needs, I spend all the time I can at home with him and we are going backwards he is becoming more aggressive and unruly. It is also having a detrimental affect on my life, I feel I can't do anything ever.

I don't really want to rehome him but realistically I dont think i can give him what he needs any more.
I want to at least do what it right for Patrick.

I'm not sure what the best option is, I was thinking about a sanctuary where he can be in an aiviary with other senegals etc. That way he can be with his own kind and being raised originally in an aiviary with his parents he might enjoy this more (that and he hates cages, he flies around our house freely and is never in the cage).

But I'm not sure.

What do you think?
Click to expand...

You have received a cross-section of great advice from other members.

It sounds more like you want to be talked out of this then agreement. And if true, that is what you will get from me!

Your schedule is not that much out of step with most people who work. People who provide their Parrots with what time they have and most all have good -to- great working relationships with their Parrots.

I am not an expert with Senegal's, so any experts please chime in here. At 2 yrs old. It is possible that your Senegal maybe experiencing its transition from baby like to Adulthood and experiencing the rush of Hormones for the first time. Like teenage Humans , they are all over the place emotionally.

Direct interaction time. As covered above, somethings that just has to be on the very short side. And as long as you are somewhat consistent with those time blocks it will work for all of you.

Indirect interaction time. We Humans seriously underestimate the benefits of this type of interaction. I had always need to read some documents or information sources regarding my work. I simply read it aloud with my Amazon on by shoulder, leg or lap. I'm a news junky, so during those times, my Amazon holds the same position. Point being, there is at least an hour or more every evening that counts for indirect interaction time. Eating with our Amazon also counts, yes it can get interesting but its 'family' time. Point being, once you commit to including your Senegal in your activities, even indirectly, you will be shocked at how much time that equals.

The 'Leading Cause' of Humans giving up their Parrots is Biting! Bite Pressure Training will greatly limit biting and its associated pain! There is a Thread regarding this subject that can be helpful if you are interested.

Sanctuary(s): Every Quarter there is a News story of yet another Sanctuary failing, where thousands of Parrots are than sold, commonly in large lots to Brokers.

As an outsider looking in: I see two major areas that if corrected, you and your wife would be far more comfortable with your Senegal.
1. Bite Pressure Training - This would allow a redevelopment of the relationship with your wife and your Senegal.
2. Incorporate Indirect Interaction Time.
 
Jugoya... that's not crazy at all...
Rb has his own room, but for people without that option, that closet is a safe place for healthy sleep. I think that's a great idea, especially if it helps keep a parrot.

Sailboat, I appreciate your summation...
 
On a lighter note, I can't imagine Rickeybird loving CNN! Too funny!
 
Piasa...

He does indeed love CNN, the shopping networks, and MTV... lots of faces. For what it's worth... he ADORES Trump! The Donald comes on and Rb is hopping and swagging and "whistling" RIT-ROOOOO!

Trump. And Jennifer Lopez.

I guess he thinks they'd be a good 'First Couple'.



Good thing parrots can't vote
 
GaleriaGila said:
Piasa...

He does indeed love CNN, the shopping networks, and MTV... lots of faces. For what it's worth... he ADORES Trump! The Donald comes on and Rb is hopping and swagging and "whistling" RIT-ROOOOO!

Trump. And Jennifer Lopez.

I guess he thinks they'd be a good 'First Couple'.



Good thing parrots can't vote
Click to expand...

You crack me up! High comedy or a nightmare I wonder? :)
 
Mum................ ummmmmmmmm... I think the "Nightmare Birds" Thread said it all!

So, Boniface... how's the decision process going? :)
 
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We've been deliberating a lot about what to do with Patrick.
At the moment we've not done anything we've just been maintaining the status quo.
We are still thinking about possibly rehoming, but we think that it would be better to rehome him with someone, although it isn't an easy decision either way.
 
Ill just toss this idea out too. Do you have discord or Skype? If you do, install it on your phone and install it on the home laptop. Create an empty channel with a "answer automatically" setting. Set up the pc somewhere the bird can't demolish it, (inside a cage perhaps since he's free flying) Put a perch in front of it, so he can easily understand to sit there and hang out.

Whenever you have a break, call yourself on the pc and talk to the bird. It's not much but it is a bit more interaction than what he gets now, and a nifty way to see what he's up to. More personal than cnn as well. It's something I'm planning on doing once I start law school for my bird. If nothing else, just read your work to him. It won't help with the aggression, but it may ease his nerves a bit.
Maybe you can make a routine out of it, like lunchtime. Get one of those dog dishes to timer open to a nutriberry so it seems like you actually gave it to him.

I support the closet idea, or maybe just box in his shelf? A door perhaps? Black out curtain? Blinds? black construction paper on cardboard?
Would block out more of the hustle and bustle. In addition, maybe wake up a bit earlier than him and move toys around. Keep it interesting.

I read one post on this forum that stuck with me, if you had the option to never see your best friend again or just not seeing them much in a long time, which would you prefer? Most people would prefer to see them, even if just limited amounts. If you can get the Skype chat to work, you can spend time at home working with aggression maybe.

Bless your heart for trying to figure out what works for him, I hope you both make it through this.
 
Thank you for hanging in there with us! The wife's Bongo is a closet sleeper, loves it! My JoJo never gets 12 hours straight! 8, best!
 
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