Hey everyone.
I have turned here due to the unexpected passing of my baby conure. He always sleeps with my husband in his neck and my husband must've fallen asleep and I found the baby laying lifeless next to him. I grabbed him and he was already cold. He turned 9 weeks yesterday. We know not to sleep with him this was not on purpose but we are devastated.
I just can't deal with this at all. I will miss his small body and large personality. My heart is broken. I wanted to know if this has happened to anyone before. I have a 4 week old also a green cheek and I just wanted to know being as inexperienced as I am which other precautions to take. I can't handle another loss.
Hello,
I know this is a terrible situation that has left you with terrible feelings, so I wanted to make some observations and give some advice. I'm a teacher, so this is a long post, but I wanted to tell you all I know...
First, as you stated, it "was not on purpose," which means it was a mistake. Obviously you and your husband felt a lot of love for your bird, and you both meant him no harm. In fact, you meant to show him love through snuggling. But even when we have the best intentions, mistakes can and will happen. All you can do is learn from them.
Second, you asked if this has "happened to anyone else before," and as wrench13 stated, it seems to happen all the time. I've only been on this site for a few months, and seldom read posts, yet this is the second one I've come across. I myself let my GCC snuggle with me while sleeping when I first got him. He would sleep snuggling my shoulder or chin. I assumed this was safe because I'm one of those few people who don't move at night, so no fear of me squishing him. However, every time I woke-up he's the one that had moved! Many times I woke-up not seeing him anywhere, leaving me frozen in a panic that any movement might harm him. One time I found him UNDER MY PILLOW! Still alive thankfully. That prompted me to do research. It turns out that in nature GCC live in holes, like owls, so they like dark tight areas to sleep in, which is why they love those sleep-time "happy huts" so much (which have their own set of problems).
So third, I hope your husband doesn't blame himself for the death. It's very likely that the bird moved under something or dug forward into a position and then couldn't figure out how to back out. Like toddlers, birds put themselves in constant danger. To this day, I can't leave socks on the ground, because my girl GCC crawls in them and can't get out. One time I came home to find her in a sock and once removed she was hyperventilating and starving. Who knows how long she was in there! My boy bird used to crawl inside a stovetop oven I had at an apartment. He would crawl into the back of the oven, inside the metal, and make it to the stovetop, underneath the metal. I would open the top and find him staring at the pilot lights. I had to use duct tape to block around the entire perimeter of the oven. Now that I have my own house, I had to block off him getting behind all appliances. My washer and dryer have a frame around them. GCCs love small tight areas.
So fourth, what "precautions" can we take? Here's my advice:
1. Seal off areas birds can squeeze into.
2. Assume any laundry, blankets, etc. have a bird underneath.
3. Birds go to bed hours before you do. I know you want to spend time with them, and they want to party all night, but they actually need 8 to 12 hours of sleep every night. I put my birds to bed at 10pm sharp. They sit in their dark quiet room with very low light on for one hour (to mimic sunset) and then it's lights off, with cages covered. I then get them up at 11am sharp. If you both leave the house for work, adjust your times as needed.
4. Never, and I mean NEVER leave food or drink unattended. Just because they didn't go for it yesterday, doesn't mean they won't today. Caffeine, chocolate, salt, avocado, apple and cherry seeds... there's an exhaustive list of things they should never consume. Birds die from foods within 24 hours.
5. Don't use scented candles, scented cleaners, perfume, body spray, or anything you can smell. No using pesticides inside the house. No cooking on non-stick pans (at least not over 300 degrees), and only clean with white vinegar. Birds die from air quality almost instantly.
They don't tell you when you buy a bird how much effort has to be put into their environment. They aren't like cats and dogs, who are tough and self-preserving. Birds are more like fish. They have live in a delicate ecosystem, needing specific air quality in a baby-proof space. You'll get people, especially on here, who will say, "I've fed my bird hard liquor and coffee for years with no problems." Ignore those clowns. They're called outliers, not the majority. It's the same as people back in the 1990's who said "my grandma smoked her whole life and she died at 120 years old, cancer-free."
Make the safest place possible, with a routine, to take all the possible mistakes away. And for now, don't be too hard on yourself.
What happened was an accident; terribly sad but no one’s fault. We are only human, after all. It sounds like Your baby was very loved in his short time with you and that is what matters most. Praying you find peace after the loss of your little one.
