Hi, I posted in your other thread here:
http://www.parrotforums.com/new-members-welcome/22413-new-here-researching-family-bird.html
But here's my answer again for easy sakes:
i,
I have a Timneh who was rehome from another family with four kiddos. Her kids were older than mine-8 through 13. Mine are younger, 2, 4, 5 and almost 7. Pepper is four and very gentle-spirited, very calm. She will step up for the kids when she's in the right mood, but I'm obviously her favorite. She will climb up the kid's arms to get on top of their heads, they can give her treats. I have considered getting a pair of cockatiels or hand-fed budgies who will be more into bonding with multiple people so the kids can actually get more bird time, but the time they get with Pepper is good and calm. She only went through one nippy stage as a toddler bird accordign to her previous owner. She's nipped twice here but gave plenty of warning (hubby tried to lift up her wing).
So my advice would be-look into various adult birds who have experience with kids, or get a hand-fed baby. Timnehs normally do great with families but they will tend to pick a favorite. If you keep them handled by various people they'll accept various people. My hubby works hard to do clicker training with her so their relationship is going good even if he's not the chosen one, he can hold her, give her scritches, etc. Cockatiels and hand-fed budgies (there's a lot of budgies who are not hand-fed out there) do well as well. Green cheek conures are normally good but many tend to go through a nippy stage. Linneolated parakeets (I think I'm spelling that wrong) and Rosy burkes were recommended as well to me.
My dream bird personally was a Timneh, and since I am the one who the bird was for mostly, I went for a Timneh. I do the feeding and the cleaning so I'm perfectly fine with the bird preferring me to everybody else, because although she could give or take them, she is not violent in any way and everyone is quite entertained by her various calls and dance moves.
If my kids decide they want birds for their own birds, though, I plan on going the cockatiel/budgie/parakeet route.
So in a nutshell, I think it would work fine if you get a younger bird that has been well-socialized by the breeder. Or an older bird that has been exposed to a crazy household.
Our Pepper is in the middle of everything. We could tell it was overwhelming for her in the beginning, but even when she felt overwhelmed, she was still very sweet and calm with us, sitting with me, letting me scritch her and taking treats from everybody, even though she'd never met us until the day we brought her home. (I had talked with her owner for a few hours on the phone and got a great idea of what her personality and life was like at home). It came down to she came from a good breeder and was well socialized with people and other birds in her previous home, and her steady personality.
So, take this slow and easy. Talk to people, talk to breeders, find TAG owners and find out where they got them. Be prepared to take it easy with your bird-greys are slow to adapt to change, but they still surprise you sometimes like Pepper did with us. I was really expecting her to be a lot more shy with contact.
In the wild, African grey flocks do not sit around quietly and talk and do puzzles. There is action and noise and movement! I think the security she feels around people matters much more to Pepper than the amount of noise. She is getting to know us and definitely has her preferences, but she knows her cage is a safe place. She has a high perch that is freely available to her if she wants to retreat beyond curious eyeballs and fingers. It's her play place and I have a food and water bowl down there as well.
Since you are a mom you already have a lot of the instincts to 'read' your bird, to help it feel included, to back off when it needs space, to read body language-you already do that with your kids. That helps SOOOO much with parrots! I was amazed with researching parrots how much of good parrot care resembles good child care. It's about respect, sensitivity to their limitations, encouraging, and praising the good, providing a healthy and proper environment and diet. They do speak a different language and have different needs than a child, but you will adapt just fine as long as you research it. I recommend Guide to a Well Behaved Parrot and The African Grey Parrot Handbook. Read those books and become active on bird forums, reading lots of parrot stuff, asking questions, and you will be just fine.