I had lost my feathered friend.

This is rather a long story of what happened to my bird.
TL;DR: My cockatiel has passed away while she was very young, and the moment of her last breath was really traumatic that I don't think I should look for another companion. Any advice would be appreciated.

Recently, after decent amount of research, I have adopted a cockatiel about 2 weeks ago. She was an adorable baby, and I have throughly enjoyed my feathered friend wandering around me all day.
However, an unexpected tragedy has occured, where suddenly showed several signs of sickness (ex: puffed feathers, inactiveness). At first, I have considered it lightly, as I've already heard that younger birds may sometimes be more sleepy than usual. However, the situation got significantly worse during the evening, and her life was dwindling before the I could see the vet in the next morning. Unfortunately, she had passed away soon after being hospitalized. The cause of the death is still unknown, since she were too weak to be diagnosed at the point.
It was so traumatic to see her slowly dying, and I had felt so guilty for my carelessness as her companion. It really makes me feel that I don't deserve to be a parent for those poor souls, even though my mind still wants to have another feathered companion. If I go for adopting another bird, I feel like I'm throwing my morality away, because it is clearly not okay to just get a replacement of your pet like a lab specimens (instead of a family member).
For anyone who had their companion pass away, how have you dealt with the loss? What was your decision regarding finding another pet?

Edit: Sorry, new to the community, and have posted this in a wrong forum (should've been posted in Q&A). How can I delete / move the thread?

Welcome People will see your thread - alot of us read 'active topics' first - but a moderator may move it to a more suitable sub forum if required. They're lovely and it won't be a hassle.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

As the for the vet, are you expecting any information on why she died? It might not be your fault, and it's possible you won't know, but 2 weeks is a pretty short period of time - he may have come to you, ill. That makes it not your fault. Was there a sudden change in diet, and was the cage near a draft? Did he come from a breeder? If so, was there some form of 'health' guarantee?

If you disinfect all of the bird stuff you have, keep up your research, and can get any infor from the vet as to what went wrong, then I'm sure there's another wee bird who would be very lucky to have you as their owner. Don't rush it, let yourself grieve, but allow yourself to hold onto your passion, and move forward.

Best of luck, thinking of you x

Hi Please do not beat yourself up about this and itchyfeet has put some very good points to take note off.

The thing I would say is try to learn something from this so it shall not be repeated, so that you will be a more informed bird owner the next time around. Any mistakes will not be repeated and I am not saying there were OK. But my point is there is always a little bit more to be known or done next time around OK?

Research Avian Vets that will do out of hours and have that to hand if needed, some require you registering your bird with them asap after coming home. It's all good common sense stuff really.

Do plenty of reading on here to be more informed and look forward to your next bird when you are ready.

So we hope that you will be a constant on here there's loads to read up on and please do chip in if you feel able or even ask more questions. Good luck.

I lost my little Maxie suddenly, no warning, no signs, just one morning, after many years of having this delightful little life wake up everyday, and look up to me as his person, only find him lying on the floor of his cage, gone. I know exactly where you are, my friend. I was, to say the least, emotionally devastated. Sad, bereaved and every other adjective one can think of that conveys extreme loss. All my family was but myself most of all, Max had bonded to me at our first meeting. Yeah, one of those rare instances we read about on these and other boards. And I took a good long while to know that I wanted another bird to share my life with. Not as a replacement for Max, no bird can or could do that. But I love birds, parrots most of all, and I knew that I still had love to share with one. Salty was not the same as Max, that instant adoration he had for me was not there, and I've had to work to gain Salty trust; one might even say that the situation was reversed this time, because one look into Salty's lively eyes and it was I who was bonded to him.

So, I say yes, assure yourself that no intentional harm was done to your birdy, and if you find yourself still with that hole that only one of these little gifts from the Lord can fill, then get another parrot. Look well, and hopefully not long. I like to think Maxie is looking over the Rainbow Bridge and is glad that I found another feathered soul to share my life with. Peace, and joy, to you my friend.

Welcome to the forums, and my deepest condolences to the sudden loss of your cockatiel! HUGS to you!!

I'll move your thread into the Q&A section as per your request.

Everyone deals with the loss of a pet differently, and IMO there is no right or wrong way. A person has to do what feels right for them.

Unfortunately we've lost several dogs and birds in our lifetime, but when we brought home a new family member, we never looked at them as 'replacements', if you know what I mean.

Best of luck to you.

itchyfeet said:

Welcome People will see your thread - alot of us read 'active topics' first - but a moderator may move it to a more suitable sub forum if required. They're lovely and it won't be a hassle.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

As the for the vet, are you expecting any information on why she died? It might not be your fault, and it's possible you won't know, but 2 weeks is a pretty short period of time - he may have come to you, ill. That makes it not your fault. Was there a sudden change in diet, and was the cage near a draft? Did he come from a breeder? If so, was there some form of 'health' guarantee?

If you disinfect all of the bird stuff you have, keep up your research, and can get any infor from the vet as to what went wrong, then I'm sure there's another wee bird who would be very lucky to have you as their owner. Don't rush it, let yourself grieve, but allow yourself to hold onto your passion, and move forward.

Best of luck, thinking of you x

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@itchyfeet: When she arrived at the hospital, she became too week for anything to be done, as she could barely move nor keep her head straight. The doctor told me that she was extremely underweight (48g, where an average baby cockatiel should weigh between 70g to 90g).
the bird was from a pet store with a good reputation, and the seeds and pellets were the exact same from what she've been eating after being weaned. I tried to send her back several times to cage until I witness her eating her food. However, I realized that the food bowl had never shown the bottom even though I always filled it very shallow.
I've agreed to do post-mortem for her to make sure that no infection or toxic food were involved in her death.

I'm so sorry! I lost two birds is past year, one unknown and the other had a night fright and injured herself... it was incredibly devastating.

As someone who lost a bird without knowing the causes I know it's easy to blame yourself. And sadly you may never know (her necropsy report didn't find any causes) and find the closure you want. It's something that gets easier with time and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive yourself. Even without knowing.

That being said. Don't push yourself to get a bird right away unless you feel like that's the right thing for you. You have a hole in your heart and if giving love to another bird helps you to heal it then no one can blame you as long as you truly love this new bird. It has been nearly a year since I lost Primrose and I unexpectedly brought home a new adoption yesterday. He is a bit older and has been rehomed twice. I know I can provide a forever home and make his life even a little better. The right bird may find you and give you purpose again. And it may truly need you.

Lots of hugs from me and my fids. We're thinking of you!

I am so sorry for your loss! Things like this happen, though, so do not beat yourself up about it. Guilt is a very natural feeling when you suddenly lose an animal under your care. I still suffer with guilt after our cat died last August. Having your Cockatiel for several weeks is not long at all, and the likelihood of you adopting her when she was sick is probable. It was good that you noticed that something may be wrong, as many bird owners still have trouble in figuring out if something is, indeed, wrong. Also, you have not had birds for long, and since your Cockatiel was a baby, it could have been because she needed more sleep, or she was a little lethargic because she had a sudden transition of where she lived. And, the most important part is, in the end, you DID bring her into the vet, and ultimately, tried your best.

You are very capable of owning another bird, especially with this recent experience. Take it slowly, though, and make sure the time is right when you adopt another. Do not feel too discouraged.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have a very hard time telling anyone about the birds I've lost, because I feel so deeply guilty and responsible. Logically, I know there's nothing I could have done. But my heart still hurts. I ended up taking a year off from taking in any new birds due to the emotional trauma I felt losing two birds in one year.

My black-capped Caique, Tweet, died in my arms. I had given her a shower and we were sitting on the bed and she stepped up onto my hand. She took a huge gasp of air and stood up very tall and then just collapsed. I began birdie CPR, got a faint pulse, but then lost her for good. Those few minutes felt like hours. I held her lifeless body in my hands wondering what the heck had happened. We will never know. It was so sudden, I can only assume it was some type of heart issue. One minute she was playing, and the next she was gone.

Hope, my foster Grey, had a catastrophic fall off her perch at 3am and hit her head. Her brain swelling happened so fast, we didn't even make it to the car before she was gone. She had been seriously abused and plucked out every last feather on her chest and back. She was the cuddliest bird I ever had. She would lay on her back under the covers with me. She is buried in our back yard.

My advice is to give yourself time to grieve. Losing or babies is hard. Birds are delicate creatures and by the time they look or act sick, it's been awhile. There's a good chance your baby came to you in poor health or was not completely weaned. Everyone grieves differently. Some people get another companion right away, others wait awhile. I've done both. I agree with the above advice to keep learning. I've had birds nearly my entire life and I still learn something new every day.

Everyone grieves differently. It's up to you to figure out what's best for yourself.

I'm a person who needs to get another pet as soon as possible. Some people might disagree with that but it helps me. Years ago we had to have our 2 (very senior) dogs put to sleep on the same day and afterwards I told my husband that if we ever do that again we need to stop at the animal shelter on the way home because I can't come home like that again.

I'll share my bird story to hopefully help you. Nine years ago I got my first planned bird. I had been given a couple of senior cockatiels a few years before but they had passed after a few months so I considered this my first bird. He was a little yellow sided green cheek conure named Kiwi. I was so in love! He was so pretty and sweet. We had so much fun with him. I bought him a happy hut tent that he loved. He slept in it every night. One day I came across something saying that they were dangerous.... I ignored it. He loved it so much and what were the chances that anything would happen...?
Then one morning Kiwi was quiet and when my husband uncovered his cage he discovered him dead. I'll spare you the details but it involved the happy hut and it was hard to see. Kiwi was just barely a year old.
I felt so horrible and guilty. I threw away the happy hut and packed up everything else. I hated having to email his breeder and tell her how I failed him.

But I learned a painful lesson and it makes me a better bird owner today.

Welcome to the forum! We are here to help. I'm in tears reading the sad stories some of our members have shared for you. I also lost my Amazon recently..don't feel like sharing the details though...coming up on a year and it's been on my mind a lot. Anyways...we all grieve differently and when doolie died..I did not want another bird,I felt like a failure.then I met sissy and I couldn't walk away from the pain I saw in her eyes. You'll know when it's time,don't beat yourself up to long. We are here to listen and to help as much as we can.

Leah00 said:

Everyone grieves differently. It's up to you to figure out what's best for yourself.

I'm a person who needs to get another pet as soon as possible. Some people might disagree with that but it helps me. Years ago we had to have our 2 (very senior) dogs put to sleep on the same day and afterwards I told my husband that if we ever do that again we need to stop at the animal shelter on the way home because I can't come home like that again.

I'll share my bird story to hopefully help you. Nine years ago I got my first planned bird. I had been given a couple of senior cockatiels a few years before but they had passed after a few months so I considered this my first bird. He was a little yellow sided green cheek conure named Kiwi. I was so in love! He was so pretty and sweet. We had so much fun with him. I bought him a happy hut tent that he loved. He slept in it every night. One day I came across something saying that they were dangerous.... I ignored it. He loved it so much and what were the chances that anything would happen...?
Then one morning Kiwi was quiet and when my husband uncovered his cage he discovered him dead. I'll spare you the details but it involved the happy hut and it was hard to see. Kiwi was just barely a year old.
I felt so horrible and guilty. I threw away the happy hut and packed up everything else. I hated having to email his breeder and tell her how I failed him.

But I learned a painful lesson and it makes me a better bird owner today.

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We went through the same thing two days before our wedding, losing our two oldest dogs who were mother and son. We decided doing it at the same time would be better for them but it was absolute hell for us. She was in congestive heart failure and was struggling to breathe that night. The son suffered from SIBO and his intestines were so scarred, he stopped absorbing nutrients months before and was wasting away to nothing. $12,000 in medical bills later, and all we got was two more years with her and 8 months more with him. It was just awful. We lost our third and last big dog a year later and ended up waiting a year after that to get another Standard Poodle. I'm glad we waited. My husband is the only remaining person in his family tree so losing those three dogs was the most pain I've ever seen him in. He was deeply grieving for two years straight. Getting another dog right away may have helped but we did somehow end up with 4 chihuahuas so that was good- he just still had a poodle-shaped hole in his heart. We did end up getting an AKC standard poodle puppy and that was the first day I saw him start to come out of his grief.