Working with human fear

[LoveMyConlan]

Well.... Mom made it through Parrot class, a class on behavior issues. This class is run by a Parrot rescue and they of course are full disclosure with their birds.

My mother was OK with the blue and gold they had there, she was a bit uncertain of good size (he was a 24 year old) but understood our baby will be smaller when he gets home.

She was fine until the rescue started going over biting and they used the blue and gold as a demo. This was rehomed 4 times due to biting.

He literally ripped his old owners ear half off and but her tongue so hard she needed stitches to fix it.

After hearing that, though also seeing the bird mouthing the woman who fosters him (very sweetly).... My mother suddenly isn't so sure about this Macaw.

I tried explaining to get that those are rare occurrences, even the foster said so, and that by teaching bite pressure and setting boundaries we lessen the chances of THAT happening.

For me it just have me a higher respect for that big beak knowing that that particular bird seriously injured someone yet was so calm with his foster of 2 years. He knows he has the power to cause that damage... But they have mutual respect.

So how what are some exercises I can do with my mother to try to build her confidence before this baby, who comes home in less than 60 days, gets home and becomes her bully?

 

[OutlawedSpirit]

I honestly don't know what you can do before your baby gets home, but I know that with my ekkies, my wife used to be terrified of getting bit. As she watched me interact, especially with my hen, she came to realize that the more she was afraid to get bit, the more likely she is to get bit. She went from being afraid to hold her, to now if Chicken lunges towards her, she'll put her finger on her beak and tell her to be gentle. To me, that's a huge bound forward, but it came from her watching me interact. So it is an idea after your baby gets home, just letting her watch you interact and see where you get with what you do.

 

[LoveMyConlan]

They made it very clear that birds as a whole, especially Macs are lovers of reaction. The other Mac they had there loved to wiggle his head and do the 'Blah blah blah' noise. Once he realized when he did it the whole crowd laughed... He did it everytime the room got 'too quiet'

The B&G they had, Charlie, was great with his foster mom but anyone else he'd give his typical I'm not happy dance. Wings up, feathers ruffeled, eyes pinned break open. THAT helped me see the body language I should watch for. And I pointed it all out. The instructor did as well. She showed how to redirect his attention to some training with his clicker and food, and dispute 40 people staring at him, his focus was on her.

I found he class super helpful and they told me at any time I needed help with my baby all I had to do was ask

This class have me lots of insight into body language (they had cockatoos/Conures/Macs/Love birds, ect) from different birds, gave tips on positive reinforcement (which I do with my birds), diet, and other things that I learned a lot from.

My mother on the other hand was taken back. Though she's seen Macs before she's never seen/heard of their bad side as being an actual thing. I think this woke her up to the reality of what CAN happen.

I'm going to include mom in on everything with him so she can get used to him. I'll have her targeting and clicking in no time

 

[JBassset]

As someone else here said: the best thing that happened with their bird was getting bit.

Same for me.

Before the big bite I was afraid of that beak. I was nervous and worried. Then it happened. I did something, the bird took his shot, I got nailed. Blood was drawn, skin was lost. I didn't die. I did't lose a finger or an eye.

I learned that I would survive. Sure it hurt. It wasn't pleasant. I mean com'on! I got BIT!

But the bird learned that wasn't OK. We both learned where the boundaries are.

Most important? I relaxed. I knew what could happen. It was no longer a major what if in my world. That bite changed our relationship.

My point is that your mom will probably go through the same thing. She'll be afraid of the bite and then one day she'll get bit. It'll bug her but she won't be afraid of it anymore. She'll respect it but she'll stop fearing it.

Then your bird will tear a hole in the wall or rip up the couch or something and she'll stop worrying about being bit and more worried about "What's next..."

 

[LoveMyConlan]

As someone else here said: the best thing that happened with their bird was getting bit.

Same for me.

Before the big bite I was afraid of that beak. I was nervous and worried. Then it happened. I did something, the bird took his shot, I got nailed. Blood was drawn, skin was lost. I didn't die. I did't lose a finger or an eye.

I learned that I would survive. Sure it hurt. It wasn't pleasant. I mean com'on! I got BIT!

But the bird learned that wasn't OK. We both learned where the boundaries are.

Most important? I relaxed. I knew what could happen. It was no longer a major what if in my world. That bite changed our relationship.

My point is that your mom will probably go through the same thing. She'll be afraid of the bite and then one day she'll get bit. It'll bug her but she won't be afraid of it anymore. She'll respect it but she'll stop fearing it.

Then your bird will tear a hole in the wall or rip up the couch or something and she'll stop worrying about being bit and more worried about "What's next..."

ROFL!! Mom already made the rule NO MACAW ON THE COUCH :04::04:

 

[BeatriceC]

To be honest, macaws *can* do a lot of damage. Mine really messed up my wrist. To be fair there was existing damage and she just finished the job. Also to be fair, she wasn't being aggressive. She's missing a wing and her balance is bad. She lost her balance because she got startled while she was stepping onto my hand and simply reached for the nearest thing to grab onto in an effort not to fall. But she still did a lot of damage. It's something to be prepared for, but not afraid of.

I agree with the person who said if you're afraid you're actually more likely to get bit than not. I'm still a little timid around birds I don't know well. New birds don't respond as well to me as they do to MrC, who can get any bird alive to do what he wants. He's calm and confident. He watches closely and has quick reactions. I think the birds sense the calm and confidence and are more relaxed with him than they would be with somebody who's nervous. I think they misread nervousness as a threat, and respond accordingly.

 

[SailBoat]

I am certain that you are fully aware of the Sticky Threads at the top of the MAC Forum and have read them and have had your Mother Read them.

There are many ways to handle this and the best in my opinion for you're mother is to comfort her 'concerns!' NOTE, that I did not say fear. Being around well socialized MACs is the best method of getting her past her concerns.

Any Parrot on a shoulder that has not clearly earned that status is a Parrot that is out of the view of the handler and that handler is a 'FOOL' that has set into place the likelihood of getting bitten.

A bite to the Face or Neck: These regions of the Human Body have at the surface and within 25 mm (1') of the surface, highly sensitive structures that a Parrot's Bill could easily damage, seriously damage or result in dead of the Human.

So, there are 'good' reason to be 'concerned' about getting bitten.

Education of the Human in proper handing and controlling a Parrot in conjunctions with handling well socializes Parrots is the key to over coming her concerns.


A Concern: The knowledge that a threat or event has a factor of danger and with knowledge and training that concern is transferred into a Strength and/or Tool that can over-come the threat or event!

FEAR, a Human Emotion that is an extension of our prewired Flight or Fight Response.When combined with 'Worry,' they can halt a Human into a Frozen State where neither Flight or Fight occurs.

Worry is a 'Worthless State of Mind' since it occurs without the presents of a threat or event! Energy is misused /misdirected, which results in 'Stress' as the Body prepares for a threat or event that will likely never happen.

Fear is commonly the step between 'Likely Never Happen' and prior to a concern of a 'Clear and Present Danger.' The Fear has merit, but occurs too far in advance of the threat or event to be of help, since it drains energy that the Body would need for either Flight or Fight!

Others will likely have a more scientific definition, but this gets the point across.

One can Worry and/or Fear something, but nothing is ever done to prepare and/or overcome it!

 

[LoveMyConlan]

Yup Sailboat, I made her read them. In fact I printed the Big Beak O'Phobes guide and put it on his door

#1 rule with our birds is no shoulder surfing. I did that with my Gcc and got bit bad in the face. Learned my lesson. It's just a safety thing now. Any bird, no matter how docile, can spook and grab out of fear. So we just avoid that area. A kiss on the head is all that is allowed.

I think she's more concerned over the fact that my Zon has bitten me a few times, my fault each time, but she's only ever been bit by my Jenday. Big difference.

I found a whole new respect for the beak after hearing Charlie's story. But seeing how even though he is capable of that damage, how gentle he was with his foster mom, really showed that if he wanted to he could do a lot, but will usually choose to be gentle with the right guidance.

I think anyone who says they aren't afraid to get bit is nuts. I'm not looking forward to it but it's a small price to pay for the amount of love our fids give