Working on my social skills... or lack there of.

[ShreddedOakAviary]

I am skipping the Kansas bird show this year. I will just do Omaha, NE and Denver, CO. It has been brought to my attention that I have an unapproachable air about me. My husband says I perpetually look irritated and mad when we are at bird shows. So I am going to either have to wear a sign that says "I'm friendly and not mad", or I am gonna have to learn to smile. Easier said than done.... at a bird show I am trying to watch the birds, answer questions, play nice with people when they insult me, and listen attentively to people's bird stories.... truth is I am usually just tired... a long day, lots of setup, and considering I live in a place that doesn't appear on any kind of gps it is hard for me to adjust to so many people. I really do care, and once I start to speak my passion for birds and people usually shines through immediately... So, help me out... if you see me sitting at the booth and I am not smiling please come on up and say hi. I am not stuck up, I am incredibly self conscious and socially awkward. I really am friendly and I will work on not looking so grumpy.

 

[MaraWentz]

Lol I'm the say way. I can be sitting outside happily enjoying the sunshine and my husband will walk up and ask whats wrong, so I say nothing and he goes on to say how mad I looked, and I'm just like really? Way to ruin my happy me time. If I'm not smiling, but am just content or happily passing time, people say I look mad or sad. Its kinda annoying because then I have to argue that I really am fine and happy and by the time I'm done arguing I'm not happy any more -_-

 

[paulhanlon]

I'm the same way I'll be in my friends pet store handling billy a six month old Congo grey I have being told that I look evil when peting him lol people try to avoid me but I always tell them I'm not evil I'm just focused on billys body signals I tell them I'm a nice person to talk to and like to have a laugh as most of you know the people who come in the store always ask me why I'm handling billy all the time I tell them its because I don't like keeping birds cage bound all day and at some point I will be buying him

 

[Molcan2]

You guys are not alone! I get asked all the time by strangers to smile and they tell me its not that bad. Really im usually haveing a good day and im happy. Aparently if im thinking then i look angry. I think the t-shirt idea is good. You could get really creative with that or put a black plam on your shoulder, I would approach anyone with one of those (even if they were wearing a mask and holding a chainsaw). I could see how a bird show would be very stressful if you had a booth.

 

[ShreddedOakAviary]

I have noticed if I'm already talking to someone then other people will get in line to ask questions and such... so I guess when I'm talking I am not scary. Denver is the hardest show... we meet the vet for exams and health certificates at stupid early on Friday.... drive ALL day Friday to arrive in Denver by about 6pm. We have to back up the trailer into a building to a back corner to unload.... we set up everything unload birds, feed, water, pass out toys, etc... (by the way we are always traveling with our baby birds since we don't have "bird sitter" for babies so we make multiple stops during our drive and set up to feed. After everything is set up (takes 4 people about 2 hours), we go to dinner with vendor friends and generally don't get to the hotel until late.... if there are major mitchells or hyacinth babies they are taken back to the hotel... the other birds are covered with premadecovers for the cages and then security locks the area for the night.... then back the next morning... feed, clean, water, etc... then the show opens...lol So, a two day event and we usually get home at some insane hour Monday morning (around 2 or 3). So I really am just tired.... nothing more. I'm perfectly happy, just a little tired. Lol

 

[ShreddedOakAviary]

So... Molcan2.... when are we ever gonna run into eachother? I am going to have to find an excuse to head your way someday. I missed you, when did you get a Ekkie? Have I been away that long? Sorry

 

[WharfRat]

ummm, I have a shirt that is VERY similar to this, my wife & oldest been tellin me for years I look mean. Doesn't bother me though, keeps visitors away.

 

[Conuregirl]

maybe you should take some xanax lol to take the edge off:54:

 

[MikeyTN]

That's why you need people like me to be there to talk to people.

My friends told me to get behind the table and talk to people so I did. I don't bring any of my birds there but I play with theirs. So they can deal with their birds while I deal with people. Even though I'm really not a people person, my partner says I'm personable. So I am able to answer everyone's questions and help out while they're busy. So they didn't have to do too much talking cause I was doing all the talking for them....lol.....

 

[ShreddedOakAviary]

My husband is one of those people everyone trusts and likes instantly (which I find entertaining because he is also an Army Drill Sergeant.) He won't be attending the bird shows with me this year because he will be off doing Army stuff from Sept to December 20th. So I need to be friendly. As far as Xanax goes... I suffer from severe PTSD and am already medicated so I can even tolerate being away.from my house... it doesn't seem to help people think I'm happy though . So... I will just take a deep breath and try to smile

 

[MikeyTN]

Come on....Give us a BIG smile!!!!!!!!

 

[Conuregirl]

My husband is one of those people everyone trusts and likes instantly (which I find entertaining because he is also an Army Drill Sergeant.) He won't be attending the bird shows with me this year because he will be off doing Army stuff from Sept to December 20th. So I need to be friendly. As far as Xanax goes... I suffer from severe PTSD and am already medicated so I can even tolerate being away.from my house... it doesn't seem to help people think I'm happy though . So... I will just take a deep breath and try to smile

your husband sounds like me and you sound like my hubby! people always tell my hub your wife is very bubbly lol. :30: him on the other hand looks a little standoffish. :28: i really do relate to you. actually, i suffer from social anxiety disorder, pain disorder, and a nice chemical imbalance that puts my docs in a tizzy checking blood work. my bubbliness is really a defense mechanism, i guess. i take a whole lot of pills to keep me straight... antidepressants, anti anxiety, muscle relaxers, pain killers, and hormone therapy (which i hate). that's what i take now, but when i was in high school and college my pill habits were similiar to judy garland lol.

sometimes if there is a little privacy, i'll tell people how i really feel or i can read their body language and tell something is bothering them, too. one time i was at my doctor's office waiting for an appointment and the receptionist was in a mood. you could just tell and feel the tension. i proceded to talk to her and found out she lost a relative. i told how i was grieving for the loss of my dad, too. omg, then we like totally connected and she felt some relief at that moment. she was crying and just releasing a lot of unspoken pain. my point is everyone suffers and it's like a secret that we don't want anyone to know but we have to carry on our duties. :bunny7:

 

[paulhanlon]

I swear if your having a bad day and just can't be bothered to smile some people make it a challange for them selfs to make you smile I can never stay in a dull mood with the friends I have on hear and in general its my friends kids that crack me up tho for some strange reason they call me the parrot man lol hmmm I wonder why that is

 

[paulhanlon]

Ohhhh why I'm at it I found wharfrat -------->

 

[lokiNotis]

I hear that a lot too. I am a pediatric nurse so I smile and talk to kids all day. My husband says I roll my eyes a lot. I guess I don't realize I'm doing it. I don't mean too. We have a custom airburshing business on the side and we set up at a lot of motorcycle rallies. I think I am helpful and approachable.As you said though setting up and answering questions can be tiresome. But I do have a bad habit of judging people within the first 2-3 minutes after meeting them. So maybe that's why I look unhappy. My husband doesn't look approachable to me he is rather big with a very long beard and always wears a bandana. He fits in the biker crowd. But I notice when we are somewhere else, especially on the bikes people look at us and stay away. So I defintely know how it feels. Good luck with the show!

 

[RescueMe]

ConureGirl, I totally feel you. People always say I am so bubbly, which is really a cover for my insecurities and lack of comfort. Put me with an animal, and I am quiet, confident, and calm. People are a lot harder and often judge a lot harsher. I tend to be almost manic with people and try so hard to be up and happy, I am on so many meds and get frustrated when people see my weaknesses that I tend to not let them be seen. At home I'm nearly silent, which surprises most people given their first impressions. Just remember, that all the stress added to your body will make things worse.