When are you really ready for a new bird?

[kc_y0]

Its been a very long 2 weeks since Mini's death. I still grieve for her every day, and I have a photo of her on my phone as my background that I stare at all the time. I really miss her.

I went to a pet shop today to get bunny supplies and saw some hand raised budgies. I went over, and instantly fell in love with one. He/she was so sweet, 4 weeks old. I put my finger in the cage and he came running over and was giving me little pecks and letting me pat his head, SO FRIENDLY! The owner of the pet shop told me that the current babies had all been sold and were waiting until they were weaned to go home. I was disappointed, but then after leaving I realized I really don't think I'd be ready for another just yet. I just miss that little budgie noise, and that budgie smell.. and their sweet little personalities. When do you know you are ready for another? Is it just when you see a bird and you fall in love? I feel like I would be betraying mini if I got another bird so early, but I just feel like I have so much love to give to these little guys and I know I make a great birdy mumma, and they'd have a lovely life with me. I just don't know if its because I miss Mini so much and I just want her back that I am trying to fill that void.. Its so hard to know!

 

[Mike17]

It's a difficult time, losing a friend, KC. A couple of years ago we lost our male eccy, I was in bed and actually heard his last moments and rushed out and held him and tried to will him back to life. My wife was overseas, I phoned her late at night and she was beside herself too. Anyway, I phoned an eccy breeder found online (5 hour drive from home) who had 5 week old male Solomon Is (the first was a Red-sided) and sent her a deposit. So I picked my wife up from Sydney airport and drove straight to the breeder's place and picked Alex up. The long and short of it is that raising a baby took my wife's mind off the loss of our beloved Jazz, to a considerable extent.

I still had to deal with burying Jazz though- my wife had insisted I put him in the freezer for her return, so the grief and tears were spread out over some time. My advice would be to get another bird as soon as possible, but then I'm a man and we grieve differently to women, perhaps.

I see you're in Sydney, the lady we got Alex off is in Parkes- we lived in Cobar at the time. Big distances! Now we're 900km from Perth, WA.

 

[kc_y0]

Thanks Mike! Its so horrible losing a loved one isn't it. I held Mini for her last moments as well, I knew she was gone when I held her, so I just put her to my face to calm her. So sad.

Its true, when I see other animals I feel happy and I love talking to them and playing with them, so I know it would help me with the grief. I just worry that if the little budgie is nothing like Mini I will be very disappointed. I am making sure if I do get another I will make sure it doesn't look anything like Mini. And I know I shouldn't compare them as they each have their own different personalities. Its just so hard!

 

[faeryphoebe1]

Kc, it's like your heart is broken, isn't it? It's so sad to lose someone that you love. There's a hole in your life, after that. The pain will probably be more bearable with another fid and, of course, with time.

 

[Betrisher]

Kc, it might help to think of getting a different kind of bird? Maybe a Lovebird or Bourke Parrot? In that way, it's not a replacement for Mini, just a kind of successor. Even if you'd prefer another Budgie, life's short and there's Bonding to be done! I bet Mini would be pleased and proud!

 

[kc_y0]

My heart sure is broken. It hurts very much!

I thought about another type of bird, my partner wants a lovebird. But I really have a special place for budgies, my first pet ever was a budgie and I loved him so much, I still have his photo on my wall, 20 something years later

 

[MikeyTN]

IF you have your heart set on another budgie, do get another! It will help you mend broken heart. It should bring some joy back into your laughter once again. I know it's not easy but it will work itself out trust me.

 

[Soyajam]

I've had similar feelings about other pets before.

It's not always a definite tipping point, knowing when you're over something or someone. Often its something that comes along that helps make you happy again. You could say it's a distraction but it's a little more complex than that.

The fact you felt so positive when you met those babies might be a good sign that you're starting to move past the worst of the grief, maybe?

Perhaps you are ready to do it again, the only thing I'd say is not to view your new buddy as a replacement for mini - but rather open your mind to a brand new connection that could be totally different in the most exciting ways. That's not a betrayal of Mini's memory.

I imagine you'll know when you're ready - your interest in another bird will overcome your hesitation, I guess.

 

[antoinette]

One never gets over loosing a "family member" ever but time does heal.

Mini will never be replaced, and never forgotten either.

If Mini had a say in the matter she would want you to get another bird and be happy.

 

[jugoya]

My favorite bird; a budgie named Quay Quay was my first bird.

I lost him on new years day of this year (12 years.. he was a rehome... long story.). I waited a couple of months but as he was my ONLY hand tamed bird at the time though he lived in a 'flock' with my other budgies... I missed having a cuddly little friend.

So I began doing research.

Settled on a conure; didn't care about the noise as I missed Pippin who I left with my mother due to his health issues. ((Feather and beak disease; didn't want to have my budgies contract it.))


Until I walked into a local petstore who I know personally takes care of all their animals... and saw the Canary Winged Parakeets. They looked like little fluff balls with wings!

Went home and began doing research, oddly enough there isn't much on these guys but I finally settled on getting one of these guys instead. Simply because I had enjoyed watching them move about and play with each other so much.

When I went to pick one a couple of months later... I was going to talk to them about getting me a younger one from the breeder they go through. But one of the birds they already had stood out. They had three at the time; one shy female and two rambunctious males. Porter was a little clown from the start and so social with EVERYONE that I fell in love; while my husband fell in love with the smaller female. At least until the little clown showed his love of water....

We sat there and WAITED while he had a full and luxurious bath whistling and chirping all his happy sounds and then finally climbing onto my shoulder and cuddling against my neck to get warm.

Thats when I fell in love six months before I planned on getting a bird.

Porter went home with me as soon as he was dry and has been making me laugh ever since.

Especially when he plays 'kill the duck'...

I'll put a video up as soon as I get my phone back.

 

[kc_y0]

Thank you everyone for the replies.

I do feel that when I am around those little budgies and I hear their sounds and chatter, I miss having that in my home. And that little budgie I feel in love with today was so gorgeous and I really wished I could of taken him home, his personality was so lovely. I guess when I find a budgie like that, that is not sold haha, I will know if I'm ready to bring him home.

 

[Blancaej]

When you do find the perfect match again, I say go for it!

 

[JerseyWendy]

Casey, everyone grieves differently. Some people lose a beloved animal and can never get themselves to get another of the same type while others seek to get another of the same as soon as possible. Neither is right or wrong. Neither cared less than the other about the pet they lost.

You have to do what feels right, and then don't question it.

Mini was such a special birdy! SO unbelievably beautiful and sweet. She will never leave your heart. But adding another baby may mend your wounds, and help put a smile on your face.

 

[cnyguy]

You'll know in your heart when you're ready to welcome another bird into your life. It didn't take long for the emptiness and silence in my apartment to become too much to stand, so it was only a short time after George the YCA passed away that I knew I didn't want to be without the companionship of a parrot. About 6 weeks after I lost George, Ralph the Quaker parrot came into my life. It was the right thing for me to do, and has made my life so much better and happier.

 

[DeeNTheChillas]

Everyone makes the decision to get another at a different time... You will know when you're ready. I faced such a time last year when I lost my beloved seal point siamese... I didn't feel ready until a month later I saw my Loki's face online, and I instantly knew he belonged with me. You'll know.

 

[ruffledfeathers]

I agree with what the others have already said--it's so personal and there isn't a clear 'right' or 'wrong' time. No other budgie will replace your friend, but another one can be a new friend! As much as i have cried over Georgie, taking care of Gilbert has been such a huge joy. It was like i didn't have enough time to continually cry over her with him there.
By the way i also LOVE budgie smell. They are awesome little birds.

 

[Mayden]

When Techno went missing, we got Wonsy the next day. I hate myself for what happened to Techno (got out the window) but I do not for a second regret Wonsy.

When Wonsy died, my dad took me out the next afternoon (she died in the night) to get me another. I did it out of shock and grief and I shouldn't have done. I still have her, she's a little mare, but I love her.

When Annie (my rabbit) died, we waited about a week. But we missed having two bunnies binkying around the dining room, Bigfoot was miserable and so were we. So we set about mooching around stores and rescues with our hearts and minds open until we got besotted with our Pops. We don't regret that either.

I was ready for Wonsy, I was not ready for Lucie and I was ready for Poppy. Each situation was different, each loss broke my heart and each pet has helped me heal in their own way. You will just feel it when you're ready. Poppy felt right, despite it only being 2-3 weeks after Annie's death. If you felt comfortable - and the 'right' bird needed a new home, I'd hope you wouldn't turn it away just because it hasn't been 6 months, or a year, or whatever it is some people believe to be 'right'.

Your heart will know

 

[kq_fan]

I think if she would have a say I really think if she understood what it ment, Mini would want you to be happy and if that makes you happy then I say you should
Do it. When my budgie died I was so so heart broken and when I got Lilo, I didnt feel like I replaced him because they are so different. Lilo is loud and demanding but cuddly and Mango was more go with the flow and so so so cuddly! He loved to be alive! You will always remember Mini even if you get ten birds. She will always be in your heart.

 

[getwozzy]

Everyone grieves differently, and no way is right or wrong- and it's never too early to get another fid. if you do find another baby, just know that you won't be replacing mini- mini would want you to be happy!

It's been a couple weeks since Jackie passed away, and it's almost been a week since we brought Chili home...Part of me felt like it was too early to get another fid, but the other part of me knew it was time. Only you will know when it's time. Don't feel pressured to get another fid, and don't feel guilty about bringing one home on the whim.

 

[lisascannell]

Reading this made me cry