what to do when your baby bonds with a non-bird person

[jewels04]

So JJ has bonded with my husband and unfortunetely he is not a bird person. Whenever he is home she wants to be with him. If I am holding her she was fly to him, if I take her back she flies right back (and yes she is clipped). If she is on her stand she will try whatever she can to get to him.

It's kinda dissapointing to me because she was suppose to be MY baby and my husband really doesn't want anything to do with her. I am the only one that feeds/cleans up after her/takes her out and puts her back in her cage he spends hardly anytime with her, except if I hand her off to him when I am busy for a few minutes. But now she is trying to fly to him whenever she can. My husband doesn't want her to bond to him because she's my bird he wants her to be closer to me and also our kids than him because he is never home.

 

[ann]

Maybe you could give him special treats like his favorite food every time you see him, and while your husbands gone spend special quality time with him, just the two of you, give him treats, play games like peekaboo, cuddle him. Then have your husband do things he doesn't like, such as clipping his nails. You could also trick train and or clicker train him, this helps in bonding and you cold train him to fly to you and stay with you. Hope I helped and good luck! Also just make sure your husband or you don't pet him along the back because then he might bond to you or him in a breeding way which can cause behavior problems.

 

[IcyWolf]

Honestly, it may be easier to train hubby to love the bird rather than train the bird to love someone else more.

 

[KatherineI]

I second IcyWolf. Loki was supposed to be mine, he seemed to prefer me to Hubs when we initially became interested in him. After the first month, he seemed to be favoring Hubs. I'm fortunate enough to be married to a complete animal lover but he was also disappointed for the same reason you and your husband are. Then, about a month later, Loki switched back to me. That lasted about 2.5 months and now he's back to Hubs. Nothing has ever changed, he gets one-on-one attention with me when he allows for it, I feed him, I clean his cage, but he still prefers Hubs.

I also agree with ann. Have your husband do all the "bad" stuff, the clippings and such, and you do all the fun stuff. It may not fix the problem, but it's definitely worth a shot.

 

[jewels04]

Honestly, it may be easier to train hubby to love the bird rather than train the bird to love someone else more.

the problem with that is that the hubby is NEVER home he works constantly. Not that he doesn't love her he just doesn't want to encourage a strong relationship because he is never home and when he is home he is busy fixing the cars or working on the house he doesn't have the time to spend with her as she needs only I have the time.

i will give the suggestions a try as well. He just doesn't want to encourage her to love him because he knows he doesn't have the time.

 

[_Temptations_]

You can think of a bird like a child. The more time you spend with your bird, the more it'll bond to you. I have a macaw who was supposed to be mine. I handfed her and she still ended up bonding to my father. I sat and wondered why until I realized that my father would spend time with her even when Kaiu (my macaw) didn't want him to. Conures tend to be a one person bird BUT if given the right direction, can be a family bird. When you bird prefers to be with your husband, don't get depressed. Spend time with BOTH of them. When your husband isn't home or is in another room, take your bird out. Talk to your baby and reward for good behavior. Remember... LOTS AND LOTS OF TREATS!

 

[jewels04]

My husband is wondering if it's not that she is completely in love with him but if she likes him because he just lets her do whatever she wants. I let her on my shoulder but only when I let her on my shoulder he just lets her on his shoulder whenever no invitation neccasary. He also doesn't follow through with making her step up if she gets nippy he just lets it be and lets her stay up there, where I make her get off my shoulder nippy or not.

He kinda thinks it's like a situation we have with my stepson he loves being here because we're not as strict as his mom's house is. Where I have rules when JJ is with me where my husband could care less.

I do feed her her special treats, just today she tried plums and decided she LOVES them so that was a special treat she got from just me today and also an unsalted almond she got a little sliver from me today too and loved it.

 

[Doris48]

I have this problem with Paco.He is a mans bird and loves my hubby.Always lands on his head or shoulder with his sharp claws.My hubby tolerates it but isnt really thrilled. Luckily Paco still likes me, but would prefer hubby.

 

[jewels04]

I have this problem with Paco.He is a mans bird and loves my hubby.Always lands on his head or shoulder with his sharp claws.My hubby tolerates it but isnt really thrilled. Luckily Paco still likes me, but would prefer hubby.

this would be ok with me as long as she still is good with me mainly because I am her main caregiver (I really don't foresee my husband taking care of her as she needs to be). I am just paranoid or petrified maybe of her deciding that she wants to be only his bird. If I rehomed my husband would that help, lol jk?

 

[_Temptations_]

My husband is wondering if it's not that she is completely in love with him but if she likes him because he just lets her do whatever she wants. I let her on my shoulder but only when I let her on my shoulder he just lets her on his shoulder whenever no invitation neccasary. He also doesn't follow through with making her step up if she gets nippy he just lets it be and lets her stay up there, where I make her get off my shoulder nippy or not.

He kinda thinks it's like a situation we have with my stepson he loves being here because we're not as strict as his mom's house is. Where I have rules when JJ is with me where my husband could care less.

I do feed her her special treats, just today she tried plums and decided she LOVES them so that was a special treat she got from just me today and also an unsalted almond she got a little sliver from me today too and loved it.

This might be true. This can create a behavioral problem though. If your conure learns that she can have her way by a certain action, she'll continue to do it to get her way. Your husband should try to be a little strict, at least applying some boundaries like only going on his shoulder when HE says it's okay. When she listens, give her a treat. It's very easy to let your baby have her way but remember you are the owner.

 

[Kokihi]

This is exactly how Tori was with my boyfriend. He is not a fan of pets AT ALL, but he knows there's no way me and my baby will be separated, and doesn't want to separate us.
Whenever he entered or left the room, Tori would FLIP. He'd sit there screaming for my boyfriend's attention, and will still fly to him (he's not clipped) if he thinks he's leaving.

Luckily, my boyfriend has made friends with Tori, and his only reservation is he doesn't want Tori to poop on him.


First, don't be disappointed, or feel unloved by your bird because she has bonded to your husband. I felt the exact same way because I am/was in the exact same position you're in. Just make sure that time with you is super fun for your bird. Lots of love, attention, and her favorite treats will get her to stay with you, even when your hubby is around. I'm still working on this with Tori, but it is working. The only time Tori will leave me is when he thinks my boyfriend is leaving. He'll step up off of my boyfriend for me nicely, and he'll even stay on me when I leave the room that my boyfriend is in with him. If your bird isn't showing signs of aggression when you try to interact with her, or if she'll take treats from you, or step up for you, it's a sure sign that she likes you, and likes interacting with you. Don't give up.

The other thing is you don't want to force your bird to do anything she doesn't want to do. You have to make it a good thing for her when she does what you want her to do. If you force her to step up for you, she won't like to do it because her opinion is being completely ignored. Say your bird is on your shoulder, and you need her to get off, but she doesn't want to step up for you. Instead of chasing her around and poking at her to try to force her to step up, offer her a treat and position it so she has to step onto your finger in order to get it. This way, she got her treat, and you got her off your shoulder. Win win. Doing it this way will ensure that you're not accidentally punishing your bird, and she will not associate any negativity with stepping up for you.

 

[roxynoodle]

I don't think anyone knows why birds just like certain people. Lately my amazon is putting on the romantic moves to the mail lady. He just went bonkers for her the first time he got a close glimpse. By human standards she wouldn't rank high on the beautiful people list, but he thinks she is gorgeous.

My conure hits on almost every man she meets. She chose me as a baby but if a guy gave her the time of day I would not be surprised if she left me for him

Yes, it might be easier to train your hubby to love the bird. Maybe he doesn't have a lot of time for her, but she will probably very much appreciate the time he does give her. Convince him it's ok for her to be attached to him.

I'm sure JJ will love you as well. He just happens to be her type

 

[jewels04]

well I think I was just having a bad day the other day. JJ doesn't seem to favor him really accept when he comes home from work. But I am the only one that can get in her cage without getting nipped (not hard but she does nip). She will bite my husband and used to nip at me but just the other day started stepping up with no nip before hand. So I think I was just having a bad day the other day. I really would love her to bond with the hubby too I think he is just worried I'll get upset and sad if she does and I have told him no I want her to bond with everyone.

 

[Pedro]

Jewels I am sorry but Parrots will bond with the person they feel most comfortable with & for what it's worth birds can also read our body language. I would encourage JJ to be an equal part of everyones life in your family. Even though JJ is your bird. Otherwise when she matures she could very well turn territorial & attack everyone except her favorite person. Remember parrots are flock birds & sun conures are no exception.

 

[jewels04]

Jewels I am sorry but Parrots will bond with the person they feel most comfortable with & for what it's worth birds can also read our body language. I would encourage JJ to be an equal part of everyones life in your family. Even though JJ is your bird. Otherwise when she matures she could very well turn territorial & attack everyone except her favorite person. Remember parrots are flock birds & sun conures are no exception.

this is what I am trying to do. But my husband isn't too into the whole animal thing so she is MY bird and if she decided to bond to my husband and wouldn't allow me to care for her than she would have to be rehomed because my husband doesn't have the time to care for her. I am NOT trying to get her to only bond with me I am trying to prevent her from deciding she is a one person bird and bonding with my husband who has no time to take care of her.

I am looking for suggestions on how to prevent her from deciding my husband is her one and only we want her to be sociable with everyone not just one person and especially not the one person who works 12 hours a day 6 days a week. So sorry if you took my post wrong but it is not how it was meant.

And as I said in the post above I was just having a bad day and while observing her further she isn't how I thought she was she is excited when my husband comes home but I hardly ever leave so she doesn't have the opportunity to get excited like that for me.

 

[Pedro]

So sorry if you took my post wrong but it is not how it was meant.

I certianly didn't take your post the wrong way. Though I did have to laugh because that was my situation when i got my first 2 sun conures. When i went out & came home just a few peeps sorta of like Oh it's only Mum yet when my non birdy hubby came home it was like they bought the house down. That said i did everything for them & they did love me but i think i was just part of the furniture. I swear those pair could hear the 4X4 a mile away because they would start squawking until the engine was turned off. I wouldn't say my 2 acually bonded with my hubby they just thought they liked to hang off him when he was home. I think maybe they thought they spend the whole day with me & then hubbies turn when he comes home. They were never aggressive towards us but it was a different matter when strangers came to the house. I would then have to cage them.

Funny he gets the same reception from our 2 dogs when he comes home from work. If he isn't home on time they both wait at the gate for him but when i come home they are not even in sight. But i know they love me.

 

[roxynoodle]

Maybe cases of absence makes the heart grow fonder.

That seemed to be the turning point as well with my amazon on the third day I had him. I went outside for a few hours. It was when I came back in that he suddenly was greeting me and singing opera to me after 2 days of growling or sitting with his back to me. Then all of a sudden we were friends.