What the Heck do I do now?

[Beilana]

I'm really lost and probably speaking out of grief but what the he!! do I do now? I have two empty cages, food and toys and a broken heart. What in the world should I do with myself??? With the cages?? The toys and food?.with ME?? How do I deal with the silence in my house? Without my friend? I feel lost and angry and upset. I don't want to live my life without a feathered friend.....

Is it normal to want another bird this soon? I feel the need to start researching for another bird? What is wrong with me??? Im P.O.'d its not fair. Someone please chime in and offer some words of wisdom..I'm a mess.

 

[wicked demon]

There are no words to address your grief, just remember that you treated you animals as best could be done. Life can ALWAYS get worse, and there is always tomorow, (what ever that brings)!
Cheer up, I am sure there is a birdie out there with your name all over it!

 

[HRH Di]

I'm so sorry! I understand completely. We had our very first bird, an Alexandrine named Dot for 5 days and lost her to a congential neurological disorder. In that time, she stole my heart completely. It was so difficult to come home and not have her to say hello to and give treats to. Actually, the cage was oddly comforting to me.

Less than a month later, we got Max and we've never regretted it. I believe once you have one of these wonderful creatures in your life, you always need to have one. You aren't replacing your sweet baby, you're just getting another friend.

Please let us know what we can do to help.

 

[apatrimo94]

Oh Beil. No...... Not you. Most definitely not you. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your loss. You did not deserve to lose Hiro like that. If you need anything, please, don't be afraid to ask mefor it. I'm here for you.

 

[Bobby34231]

Hi Beilana, I don't want this to sound insensitive, but maybe you should store the toys and cages away for awhile to give you time to process your grief, it will also give you time to get back on your feet financially, though you might be able to cercumvent the cost of a new bird by possibly adopting one from a rescue, you'll still be in the situation of not being able to afford vet care should the new bird require it, I'm in no way trying to be mean or cruel in saying these things, just trying to be a friend and a voice of reason, you were a good custodian to Hiroshi, and you deserve the love of another feathered companion, and Lord knows that there are so many out there that could use your love as well........it just may be that now is not the right time, please give it some thought

 

[wildheart]

People morn in different ways, some take the time to grieve and pack all the memories away in a special place in their hearts.

Then there are other people who do not cope well with pain and who try and fill the empty space as soon as possible. It does not mean that you try and forget it only means that you need to stay busy in order to stay sane.

There's nothing wrong with either kind.

Beilana, as a friend, I agree with Oom Bobby. Keep yourself busy by finding another job and as soon as you are financially secure then go and look for another friend.

 

[Von1983]

I'm so sorry for your loss. =[

I'm welling up as I type thinking of the pets I've lost - you never ever forget them. Don't feel guilty about wanting to home another pet. They give you so much more than you can ever give them. Each is individual and in my humble opinion, you can't "replace" one with another - but you can feel you have a lot of love to give and start the miraculous journey all over again while remembering what your Hiroshi taught you.

I've just had my first parrot - a Sun Conure. She's a baby and it is SO exciting watching her learn and teaching me things I never knew. She was alone in an aviary, we had plenty of time and space....why not? Her behaviour and affection over the past fornight alone tells me I did the right thing.

(I think my 9yro guinea pig Dewey who passed away in March would nod his head in agreement too!)

Take care xx

 

[Beilana]

Thank you everyone sooo much.

Bobby you are not being cruel, I really appreciate honesty and your completely right. I am storing the cage and toys for now while I get myself together. It may be a while until I can afford another feathered friend but it will be worth the wait.

I am going rockclimbing today in the mountains to make myself feel better.

 

[bogo1]

B,
In dealing with this kind of loss it is important to give yourself what you would readily give to someone you cared about... time, understanding, forgiveness, gentleness, little presents. I know things are tight financially, but try to give yourself these gifts. Your rock climbing is an example. If it helps you center and find peace then it is a very good thing. Be kind to you. While you seek to steady your financial life, perhaps you will also find opportunities to connect with birds and bird people... perhaps volunteering at the vet's or local shelter or like... this may give you some opportunities to interact with feathered folk using your skill and experience with birds.

 

[parrotqueen]

I can't believe it. I just can't. I had the thought in the very back of my mind that something like this was going to happen, but I didn't expect this. I was really hoping that you'd have the money together before this happened. What a depressing day this must be for you.

Ugh! I feel like saying some things right now that Parrotforums would ban me for.

And as for getting another bird, I understand perfectly where you're coming from. You need another friend to help you fill the hole that Roshi left behind, and I encourage you to search once again. But, even having that said; you have to wait until you're in a better financial state as Bobby said. Keep the cage in storage, or in another place that you won't see it. It will hurt too much to see the empty cage and to expect to hear Roshi greet you. You basically need to let this go, and start all over again.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Beilana. I've mailed this to the rest of my family, so you now have at least three people who are praying for your pain to be soothed.

I hope the walk helps...