Sunnybirb
New member
- Dec 24, 2017
- 76
- 1
- Parrots
- Sunny the blue and gold macaw.
Sunny really doesn't like men. If it was up to her, she'd never have to see one again. So getting her to, at the very least, tolerate my boyfriend, is something we know is going to take a long time. There's always lots of hissing and lunging, particularly when she's in her cage. Right around when we first got her, I had set her on the bed for a moment while my boyfriend was sleeping. All of a sudden, from the corner of my eye, I saw her doing the birdy shuffle, rushing toward his arm. She had her beak open and I instantly said "no!" and surprisingly she paused and I was able to get her to step up, despite her disappointed squawking.
Every day, my boyfriend gives her treats. He's even sat a chair in front of her cage and sang to her and played guitar (which she seemed to appreciate). We finally got to the point about a week ago where he could sit on the bed and she wouldn't charge at him, although there was some puffed up feathers and hurt feelings. Lately she hasn't been puffing up at all, and even tolerated him trying to play with her (although she barely reciprocated).
We decided it was time for my bf to try step up, but with some precautions. I hunted down that Birdman666 post that Kentuckienne recommended about using an ace bandage and towels under clothes. After putting on his armor, my bf tried to approach her, which didn't go the best at first. He coaxed her with some blueberries on a spoon, but she still wasn't impressed. He finally sat down on the floor and talked to her, and kept his arm on the bed, getting her used to it. I think he was probably sitting with her for 15-20 minutes before she relaxed, and once she did, he got pretty close to her. She lunged once and got his bandaged arm, so he gave her a short break before trying again. Then when he said "step up" the next time...she DID it!
We were both so surprised! They were only able to stay together for a few seconds before she squawked and opened her beak at him (she is not a fan of sweatshirts, and he only had his on one arm because it was hot in the room). But it was the first real contact they've been able to have! I feel like it was a really big step for both of them, and I think in the future we will get to a point where my bf can pick her up and put her away when he wants to, so she can get out on the rare occasions when I'm not home.
Everything has been tiny baby steps. I made this post because I've seen a lot of comments on the internet (not necessarily here) with people saying if a bird doesn't like a certain gender it won't work. I think that's completely false, and like many things, can be overcome with a lot of time and patience. We're not even that far yet, but compared to the beginning where I wondered if she could ever learn to step up for a man, we've made so much progress! I think the most important part, is finding a human who is willing to take as long as it takes to build the trust.
The other thing I want to mention, is that Sunny has her own pace. Any time my bf has crossed the line, even when it was not pushy or inconveniencing her, she went back to square one immediately. She lunges and squawks, and stands tall trying to be a big scary birb because, for whatever reason, she has learned to distrust men and she and my bf still don't have the relationship yet where she KNOWS he means her no harm. If he were to push her too much, I think it would probably take weeks to get back to where we are now, which is why he is never demanding with her. Eventually, I think he will be able to ask things of her and move her about if he needs to, but we're trying really hard not to make her feel like she's being forced to comply, because that's not fun for anybody and not any way to establish a working relationship.
Anyway, I just wanted to put this out there. We're not experts and have no idea what we're doing, but with the help of this forum and other people I've been in contact with, we're getting places! It's really encouraging, because I feel like every day we make a tiny bit of progress, much of it being my personal understanding of Sunny and how to interact with her so that we can both get what we want while being happy about it.
Every day, my boyfriend gives her treats. He's even sat a chair in front of her cage and sang to her and played guitar (which she seemed to appreciate). We finally got to the point about a week ago where he could sit on the bed and she wouldn't charge at him, although there was some puffed up feathers and hurt feelings. Lately she hasn't been puffing up at all, and even tolerated him trying to play with her (although she barely reciprocated).
We decided it was time for my bf to try step up, but with some precautions. I hunted down that Birdman666 post that Kentuckienne recommended about using an ace bandage and towels under clothes. After putting on his armor, my bf tried to approach her, which didn't go the best at first. He coaxed her with some blueberries on a spoon, but she still wasn't impressed. He finally sat down on the floor and talked to her, and kept his arm on the bed, getting her used to it. I think he was probably sitting with her for 15-20 minutes before she relaxed, and once she did, he got pretty close to her. She lunged once and got his bandaged arm, so he gave her a short break before trying again. Then when he said "step up" the next time...she DID it!
We were both so surprised! They were only able to stay together for a few seconds before she squawked and opened her beak at him (she is not a fan of sweatshirts, and he only had his on one arm because it was hot in the room). But it was the first real contact they've been able to have! I feel like it was a really big step for both of them, and I think in the future we will get to a point where my bf can pick her up and put her away when he wants to, so she can get out on the rare occasions when I'm not home.
Everything has been tiny baby steps. I made this post because I've seen a lot of comments on the internet (not necessarily here) with people saying if a bird doesn't like a certain gender it won't work. I think that's completely false, and like many things, can be overcome with a lot of time and patience. We're not even that far yet, but compared to the beginning where I wondered if she could ever learn to step up for a man, we've made so much progress! I think the most important part, is finding a human who is willing to take as long as it takes to build the trust.
The other thing I want to mention, is that Sunny has her own pace. Any time my bf has crossed the line, even when it was not pushy or inconveniencing her, she went back to square one immediately. She lunges and squawks, and stands tall trying to be a big scary birb because, for whatever reason, she has learned to distrust men and she and my bf still don't have the relationship yet where she KNOWS he means her no harm. If he were to push her too much, I think it would probably take weeks to get back to where we are now, which is why he is never demanding with her. Eventually, I think he will be able to ask things of her and move her about if he needs to, but we're trying really hard not to make her feel like she's being forced to comply, because that's not fun for anybody and not any way to establish a working relationship.
Anyway, I just wanted to put this out there. We're not experts and have no idea what we're doing, but with the help of this forum and other people I've been in contact with, we're getting places! It's really encouraging, because I feel like every day we make a tiny bit of progress, much of it being my personal understanding of Sunny and how to interact with her so that we can both get what we want while being happy about it.
