Very aggressive conure all of a sudden....

[Birdiemom]

Hey there,

I need a bit of guidance. My husband and I adopted a 4 year old conure in March of this year. We are his third home. He's afraid of hands/fingers but I was slowly making progress in that area.

These days, there's rarely a morning when I uncover his cage and he doesn't start hissing and posturing at me. If he can, he'll bite. Hard. I, of course, do my best to steer clear of him when he's like this, but I'm at a loss. I'm with him all day (I work from home) but my husband is not. He never lunges or seems angry at my husband. He's not necessarily super interested in him either. I've noticed that he seems to get like this if I've left him for any period of time in his cage. Usually, I leave his cage door open all day. He's free to go wherever and he has various stands to hang out on in the house. When I'm working in my office, he'll perch on my shoulder, explore my desk, or hang out on his stand. Except, lately he doesn't seem interested. He's just angry.

Two days ago he seemed a bit happier and let me scritch his neck and chewed on my hair while I watched Netflix. It seems these aggressive periods are like really bad mood swings. I've been taking up running again and walking the dogs to improve my fitness and health. I try to do this about 3 times a week which means there are usually three periods during a week when I leave Felix alone. It's never very long at all but I think this might be what's making him upset. Am I wrong?

We went on a short trip 2 weeks ago - less than 24 hours. My dad took care of the animals while we were gone but when we came back Felix was hissing, posturing, and lunging at me. He wasn't happy to see me, quite the opposite.

Any advice would be much appreciated. It's disheartening. I want him to feel comfortable in his home and I want him to know that I love him very much. I even started to get somewhere with step up practice. One step forward, ten steps back it seems.

 

[SailBoat]

I'm no Conure expert! That said, there is always a reason when a change occurs and most commonly it is something we Humans have done or are doing! From a distance, it is easy to point at this or that, but the reality is, you're the one in front of your Parrot and you're the best one to see what is wrong and then fix it!

The best Tool that I know of: It is Never the Fault of the Parrot! It is Always the Fault of the Human! By starting from this Vantage Point, you can begin to see what has been done or is being done and can fix it!

You have already sighted a number of possible miss-handle moments. Look at each and ask what effect this had or is having and make changes.

Your Conure would love to be able to tell you in English what you're doing wrong, but he can't.

Remember that it is very important that only good things happen when Humans are around!

There is no reason, when things are going wrong in starting over from Step One, Day One and beginning from there a new.

I have been where you are and I can tell you that it is worth the time and effort to working at redeveloping a relationship! Do Not Give Up!

 

[Flboy]

The wife’s Bongo is this way with me. I ignore the hostility, but fully respect his space. I keep a cheerful posture around him, stopping for a moment to give him a treat, then back off to what I was doing.

 

[Birdiemom]

I literally can't go near him anymore without him hissing and lunging at me. This is problematic. This morning, I opened up his cage as usual to let him hang out as he pleases but because of this new aggression, I can no longer handle him and get him back in the cage. What do I do? The last thing I want is to keep him locked up. Do I just go about my day and ignore him while he does his thing at the top of his cage?
Each time I let him out, I've now made it a habit to give him a treat. I'm just so discouraged. I can't understand what I did wrong.
I should also add, he's moulting.
He is also behaving aggressively towards our budgie (he's not tame so he stays in his cage). But Felix will hit his beak against his cage and lunge at him if he comes near. Thankfully, Congo is not super interested in Felix.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Already re-homed, and so young. Maybe he just needs more time. I really admire the work you're investing. I'll share my story. Maybe parts of it will help you.
The Rb was an angel until he becam a rooster at about age 4. And then, he became a raging, demanding little stinker. He's a fun mimic and an entertaining character, but
I have reduced biting to almost zero over the decades... not because I've changed the bird, but I have changed me. And a lot of that has involved giving up on a lot of my desires/expectations. After years of battle, I surrendered. I don't do stuff that gets me bitten. I don't scratch his head much, ever... tail is okay. I NEVER do stuff that makes him mad... I don't touch others when he's out; I rarely try to get him to step up onto my hand first. Hand-held perch first, then hand. In some ways, I swallow my disappointment at having such a little monster for a pet, but he is what he is. I ALWAYS wear my hair down when he's on my shoulder, so all he can bite is hair. Really, I don't involve hands much... he doesn't like them. He seems to think the real ME is my head, perched on a weird moveable tree with questionable appendages.
Since he's fully flighted, the ONLY way I get him into the cage is to toss a chile pepper in and he flaps in after it. So food reward is a necessity for me. Time-out doesn't exist in the Rb's kingdom.
But please... listen to and try all the good advice you'll get here. Don't surrender until you know you've done your best. Then just accept and love whatever/whoever your bird turns out to be.
My darling is kind of a worse-case scenario, but we have it all worked out between the two of us.
Very, very best of luck to you.
Good for you for reaching out!
Oh, and... every now and then, he breaks up with me. Gets mad for no apparent reason and won't come to me, won't call my name, won't even look at me. It can last days or weeks. Then he gets over it and takes me back. Little monster.
But he's a beautiful, wonderful half-wild, amazing parrot, alive and living in my home. Sometimes that just has to be miracle enough. He'll be with me as long as I am alive. I hope you can find a way to offer your little wild-thing the same.
Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Birdiemom]

@GalerieGila: THANK YOU. This was so nice to read. Your little monster sounds a lot like mine.

I definitely won't give up! It's just not fair to a little creature who has been through so much in just a few years. I was so angry to learn his first owners bought him for the children of the household who liked to poke and prod at him which terrified him. No wonder he's afraid of hands!
For now, I'll focus on giving him his space and like you said, not doing anything to annoy him which right now seems to be everything. I'll keep giving him his treats, baths, and lots of toys to play.

 

[GaleriaGila]

You have warmed my heart. Bless you for giving yourself to this little bird!!!
We're here for you!

 

[clark_conure]

At first I was like what? then I re-read and got that you are his third home and it's only been a few months and...ok.

FIRST OFF THIS IS TOUGH LOVE REALITY AND I HOPE YOU TAKE IT WELL!

You have to start from step one. There are some stickied posts about gaining a birds trust and bonding. Read those, but you are in a position of no trust, and you never really had it. Start small, talking to the bird, open the door & offer treats, don't try to touch him in any way unless he is asking for it and do not enter the cage.... If he's been re homed twice he may have never bonded really with any human. Work on trust first...

In answer to your other question you leave him be three times a week (I assume the bird is felix?) Yes, you need to spend a lot of time every day!!!! You can't ignore a conure for a day an not expect reprisal....I'm surprised he hasn't tried to murder you in your sleep! Conures are the apex predators of attention seeking behavior. They will do anything for attention from biting you to taking hostages to being sweet and talking and cuddly. WHATEVER they can do to get attention they will do!

I would move the cage right next to wherever you work in the house or where you watch your netflix. If it's possible move the cage wherever you go. Spend time socializing. Your bird really wants a friend, a buddy, an owner, a companion. You need to convince him that he is the most important thing in the universe. Then he MIGHT start to be trusting.

It's a lot of work, but IT IS SO WORTH IT! I hope you enjoy great success, feel free to ask more. I'm sorry if I was a bit blunt but, it's for a bird.....

 

[Birdiemom]

@clark_conure I think you may have misunderstood my post. I'm with him 24/7. He has a stand in every room that I go. When I work, he's free to hang out right beside me if he wants. I leave him for 30 mins three times a week, I really don't think that's excessive at all. Suddenly he's aggressive. He's not afraid, he's aggressive. He used to step up and want to be near me but now he just wants to attack me. I don't think it's lack of attention. I'm home all the time and he is out of the cage all day. Usually he puts himself to bed or in for a nap and then I know it's time to cover his cage. Other than that his cage is open and he's free to hang around wherever he wants. I play games with him too. A knocking game and peekaboo. This behaviour is quite sudden. He's always had a personality but this is really extreme. As I said. He's fine with my husband who mostly ignores him and isn't home as much.

 

[clark_conure]

Your right I misunderstood the part about three times a week you leave him.

In that case if your bird is bonded to you, and always comes to you... it's easy to get him to stop biting. Might take a few tries maybe a couple days to fully sink in. But I prefer to always go with the "time out" method.

When he goes to bite, say "no!" and immediately put him on the floor like 10-15feet away from where you were. Not on his cage or play-stand or anyplace he likes to go. The floor usually is best.

Then turn around and go back. He will eventually figure out he is being "shunned" by his "flock" for inappropriate behavior. He will figure it out and walk back and generally be sweet, sometimes not, but after the second or third time he will figure out the connection. Don't go get him, let him think about why he was on the floor, (and calm down) and take the walk of shame back to you and apologize in his way. (or fly back).

Trust me on this....

 

[Birdiemom]

@clark_conure

He seemed bonded to me, he would follow me everywhere, scream if he couldn't see me, and even snuggle up to my arm when I would type away and got a bit chilly in my office.
But now he doesn't let me go near him. He will take a treat from me but that's about it. A week ago he would jump onto my shoulder so I could transport him around and he could hang out with me around the house, now he'll attack and lunge at any part of me that goes near him, so naturally, I've stopped forcing the issue. I don't want to make him any angrier.

Your strategy sounds like a great idea but at this point, he's more interested in being left alone. Except, sometimes I'll leave the room and he'll scream anyways. But if I go and get him he attacks me. Is he trying to assert dominance over me or something? It's so confusing. I got down onto the floor where he was enjoying a treat and he does this weird strutting dance walk, making weird noises and beaks at my pants. He then seemed to snuggle up against my leg and was making clicking noises. If I tried to get him to step up on my finger/arm/shoulder he attacked viciously. When I left the room, he didn't even try to follow me. Again, I'm totally perplexed. He is molting, lots of pin feathers on his head, could this be the source of his moodiness?
I'm just worried about the fact that I can't actually handle him all of a sudden. What if there's some kind of emergency and I need him to go back into the cage?
Once again, feeling discouraged.
Today, I'm just going to do my work near his cage and hope his hate for me starts to lessen each day.

I really appreciate the responses I've gotten, thank you.

 

[clark_conure]

I am also perplexed.....normally the bonded bird just realizes oh shi.... I can't bite, that's bad.

We may need to call in scott or lordtriggs or galeriagilla or kiwibird, or flyboy, or silversage, or Terry57, or wrench13, or itchyfeet, or plumsmum2005, or allee, or anansi, or a feew dozen others I forget on this one.


I'm thinking in the meantime.

 

[clark_conure]

Yeah so I thought about it...I'd still do it, the time out method.....even if he doesn't come back immediately he will eventually. And I don't agree with the earthquake method or beak grabbing etc. I'd go through the exercise but if you see an opportunity arise or an improvement let us know....I'm willing to learn even more so than my reason to advise, everyone on here is a student to learning more about parrots.

 

[Birdiemom]

Yeah so I thought about it...I'd still do it, the time out method.....even if he doesn't come back immediately he will eventually. And I don't agree with the earthquake method or beak grabbing etc. I'd go through the exercise but if you see an opportunity arise or an improvement let us know....I'm willing to learn even more so than my reason to advise, everyone on here is a student to learning more about parrots.

Will definitely provide updates! If he comes to me and allows me to handle him and bites, I'll definitely be employing this method. Thank you for suggesting it.

Currently, he's sitting atop his cage having an afternoon snooze.

Another note: he's very food motivated. He currently hates me but he'll fly to me if he sees me with any kind of food. He's a little feathery piglet.

 

[clark_conure]

OH NOW YOU OWN HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

he's already under your thumb.


Get a treat....celery or apples or etc. If he bites do the method.....yeah it's in the bag. you have nothing to worry about.

 

[dhraiden]

@BM

So, two takes.

1, this sounds exactly like what happened with Mochi. She used to be super-bonded to me, but really ambivalent to my SO. We took a few trips, and over time, she got it in her head that I was somehow responsible for her situation's upheaval, so she came to dislike me. A-LOT. And the opposite happened with my SO. Hissing, biting, posturing, trying to attack me if I'm near Mango, or SO, etc. So basically she decided I'm not part of "her" flock anymore, but she's totally a snuggle-bug with SO and Mango still.

2, Sometimes, she tries to get hissy and bitey with the SO. Why do I say, 'tries'? Because we nipped that behavior quick - there's no point in letting her decide she hates BOTH of us. I think I'm past the point of redemption with her, so, like Galeria, I give her treats, treat her well, and don't go out of my way to antagonize her. But the truth is - I'm not going to get anywhere if I still need to clean her cage, change her food, etc. So I DON'T respect her "sacred space" if she decides it includes whatever I'm touching atm. She's not the alpha in her flock, and I don't let her decide whether I'm permitted to touch stuff, clean things, etc move things around. Those things are going to happen regardless of how she feels about it, too bad. I have kitchen gloves (for knife slippage) I use, just to drive home the point no amount of biting will get me to change the necessary behaviors I need to do. (EDIT: importantly let me note that I tried GG's method first, be super nice, don't tread on her space, give treats, give space etc etc - that did not curb or alleviate the problematic behavior at all - actually she would end up flying onto my shoulder and trying to bite my face/ear until I disabused her of that nonsense working anymore in her favor)

As a comparison, our Mango (gold capped conure) is so incredibly used to being touched, held, snuggled, having stuff moved around, that he just takes it all in stride and is his calm self. Pretty much nothing can ruffle his feathers.

When Mochi tries to get with my SO, like how she is with me, she gets an immediate, firm reaction: "NO BITE!", and her beak held firmly (not painfully or cruelly, we've practiced the proper hold position) so she can't keep biting. Then the hold gets released, and a repeat "No Bite", softer but still firm. If she tries to bite again - she gets isolated from us in a different room or away from the rest of flock, which in tandem with the no-bite/hold maneuver has worked a long way to correcting her negative behavior.

Eventually, she learned that the crap she got away with, and gets away with, with me, does not FLY (pun intended, lol) with the SO. And she's learning. She's VERY stubborn, and willful, but she's learning. The bites have become fewer, and she knows what happens if she bites (the SO, anyway). Ultimately we decided we weren't going to let her learn incorrectly that biting = getting whatever she decides she wants.

So that's my two grains for the otherwise great advice Galeria gave - take the firm approach that's working for my SO. Use GG's approach after all other routes are exhausted. Birds are brainy. They'll learn how far they can push you - if you let them - and don't set boundaries, early, and often. That was my mistake that I really regret with Mochi when I first thought the behavior was getting really serious -- I'd allowed her to become that way, by not addressing the issue directly, early and with consistent, understandable consequences.

Someone had basically given me well-meaning (but in this case ineffective) advice that amounted to, "Just ignore her bites, and she'll see she doesn't get her way and eventually stop". That DID NOT work, so my experientally-grounded advice is NOT to do that. Do NOT ignore the bites, and do NOT give your GC what they want immediately as a capitulation. Understanding and caring well for your bird is a wholly different concept than letting the bird dictate what you do. Remember that in the wild, when a bird is annoying and being aggressive with other flock-mates, they don't simply sit around and let themselves get attacked and bitten - they discourage the behavior by general social ostracizing, and by pecking back (obviously, you don't peck back - that's what beak-holding is for). The difference is that a flock will abandon a wildly aggressive, un-sociable bird - we don't get to to that, and furthermore should still reasonably expect to mold them into personable, somewhat agreeable companions without fear of constant, blood-drawing beaking.

Hope what I wrote makes sense and that you make positive progress. Let us know!

 

[clark_conure]

oh do the time out method.....but get an apple so he comes back.....he only gets apple if he's sorry

 

[Birdiemom]

Another update: He's now very into strutting on the floor around the kitchen which meant, of course, he went for my feet immediately. Feet are evil. Must attack.

Your situation sounds SO similar @dhraiden, thank you for the advice and suggestions. I really am taking all this information in so I can come up with a plan to deal with this.

 

[Birdiemom]

Today's update: Uncovered Felix and opened his cage door, gave him a treat. Leave him be. Later on, the doorbell rings package for me. Can't corral Felix back in his cage because he attacks me or flies away from me so I just ignored it and accepted I'd get it later.

Finally, I have a lot of work to do on my desktop computer today in my office so I decided to move his cage from the kitchen into my office. I'm hoping this will help. It's a change of scenery and since we often come and go from the kitchen, it might bother him less when we head out the door for whatever reason. Less commotion in my office means that maybe he'll sleep better, too. Let's see how this goes.

 

[Birdman666]

I need a bit of guidance. My husband and I adopted a 4 year old conure in March of this year. We are his third home. He's afraid of hands/fingers but I was slowly making progress in that area.

These days, there's rarely a morning when I uncover his cage and he doesn't start hissing and posturing at me. If he can, he'll bite. Hard. I, of course, do my best to steer clear of him when he's like this, but I'm at a loss. I'm with him all day (I work from home) but my husband is not. He never lunges or seems angry at my husband. He's not necessarily super interested in him either. I've noticed that he seems to get like this if I've left him for any period of time in his cage. Usually, I leave his cage door open all day. He's free to go wherever and he has various stands to hang out on in the house. When I'm working in my office, he'll perch on my shoulder, explore my desk, or hang out on his stand. Except, lately he doesn't seem interested. He's just angry.

THIS IS PROBABLY A PAIR BOND BIRD WHO WAS ALLOWED TO OVERBOND WITH A MAN...

Two days ago he seemed a bit happier and let me scritch his neck and chewed on my hair while I watched Netflix. It seems these aggressive periods are like really bad mood swings. I've been taking up running again and walking the dogs to improve my fitness and health. I try to do this about 3 times a week which means there are usually three periods during a week when I leave Felix alone. It's never very long at all but I think this might be what's making him upset. Am I wrong?

NOT SURE OF THE CAUSE AND EFFECT, BUT YOU CAN'T LET A BIRD TELL YOU HOW YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE YOUR LIFE. "KNOCK IT OFF BIRD."

We went on a short trip 2 weeks ago - less than 24 hours. My dad took care of the animals while we were gone but when we came back Felix was hissing, posturing, and lunging at me. He wasn't happy to see me, quite the opposite.

BACK TO MY FIRST THOUGHT: PAIR BOND BIRD, OVERBONDED + MAN?

Any advice would be much appreciated. It's disheartening. I want him to feel comfortable in his home and I want him to know that I love him very much. I even started to get somewhere with step up practice. One step forward, ten steps back it seems.

GO BACK TO BASICS. START OVER. TRAIN THIS BIRD FROM SQUARE ONE. BASIC STEP UP. NO BITE. TOUCH TRAINING.

AND DON'T CATER TO THE BIRD'S EVERY WHIM... THE BIRD IS NOT IN CHARGE OF THE HOUSEHOLD. CONURE SPOILED BIRD SYNDROME IS REAL... IT'S NOT AS BAD AS COCKATOO SPOILED BIRD SYNDROME, OR AS MENACING AS MACAW SPOILED BIRD SYNDROME...

SET THOSE BOUNDARIES. THIS IS HOW WE ARE EXPECTED TO BEHAVE.