ruffledfeathers
New member
I put this in 'bereavement' because I wasn't sure where was truly appropriate!!
Just remembering her on her birthday. There is always a part of me that feels that strange or eerie guilt about her death. I know I wasn't home and therefore could not have prevented it but, it's just that pang of irrational guilt we burden ourselves with sometimes.
I don't know if I ever mentioned that I had named her for my grandmother, who was also born February 8th, and tragically died as a victim of homicide. Anyhow, when I got Georgie as a baby and said I would keep her safe to an old age, where I couldn't protect my grandma.....and then got the necropsy report of Georgie dying from blunt trauma when I wasn't around to protect her, I have to say I had a mini meltdown! I remembered reading a similar report of my grandmother's death and how deeply it affected me. IDK something about the correlation creeped me out and stirred up that past trauma.
My heart kind of breaks for both of them. I know they are both safe and at peace now but still.......
Have a little extra fun today in their honor. Eat off the good dishes, drink the good wine, be bold and laugh harder.
Just remembering her on her birthday. There is always a part of me that feels that strange or eerie guilt about her death. I know I wasn't home and therefore could not have prevented it but, it's just that pang of irrational guilt we burden ourselves with sometimes.
I don't know if I ever mentioned that I had named her for my grandmother, who was also born February 8th, and tragically died as a victim of homicide. Anyhow, when I got Georgie as a baby and said I would keep her safe to an old age, where I couldn't protect my grandma.....and then got the necropsy report of Georgie dying from blunt trauma when I wasn't around to protect her, I have to say I had a mini meltdown! I remembered reading a similar report of my grandmother's death and how deeply it affected me. IDK something about the correlation creeped me out and stirred up that past trauma.
My heart kind of breaks for both of them. I know they are both safe and at peace now but still.......
Have a little extra fun today in their honor. Eat off the good dishes, drink the good wine, be bold and laugh harder.
