Three Years Ago Today

[ruffledfeathers]

I didn't expect to be posting this but here i am in my office, unable to hold back my tears!!

Three years ago today was the day my dog Pablo died. I love all my pets but i used to call Pablo my "son" and the rest were 'our pets'. From the day i met him, i thought he was the dog version of myself. We had that special connection that people call the 'once in a lifetime' special bond with a dog.

He had degenerative valve disease, diagnosed at about 9 yrs old when it was still very minor. By the time he was 11, the vet told me that he knew this was what would ultimately kill him. (it had progressed quite a bit in those two years and his heart was enlarged and pressing his trachea out of position.)

He was on medication and was still feeling good though.

But on 9/20/10, 3 days before his 14th birthday, he had this 'episode' i couldn't explain, so we wrapped him in a blanket to get him to an emergency vet but it progressed so rapidly that he gasped his final breath in my arms before we got to the office.

The vet said the chordae tendinae ruptured and that even if i had been there a few minutes sooner, all they could have done was euthanize him before he suffered.

I am grateful in a way that he didn't have to linger as a sick dog. I mean, he played ball on the last day of his life and ate a good meal and everything. But it still is like a nightmare in my mind, the memory of him gasping like that, with that terrified look on his face as he struggled to breathe but couldn't.......with absolutely nothing i could do to help him. It was a horrible night.

He was such a good dog and I will always miss him.
Thanks for listening!
9/23/96-9/20/10
Here he is, as a pup and shortly before he died.

 

[JerseyWendy]

Now you have me in tears over here.

MANY many hugs to you!!!! We can't explain why some just take a very special place in our heart, and sometimes those wounds, the emptiness just doesn't want to go away, and each time we think of them, we are overcome with incredible sadness.

 

[Marcy]

I am crying as well! I am so sorry for your loss! I am praying your day becomes some easier!

 

[MikeyTN]

Now you've got me in tears too reading it....I love my fur babies very much and 2 of our dogs are getting up in age and I'm not looking forward to the day when they pass, it would break my heart. My ex was very terrified to let me get another dog when my 7 month old died while we were out of town for my sister's wedding and she died on her wedding day when I got the phone call. She died from eating a rock and it got stuck in her small intestine. I cried my eyes out and my heart was shattered. I'm trying to come to peace with it now before anything happens to them as my partner says I think too much and they have many more years left. If anything happens to them I think I would have to take a week or so off work. Cause 6 years ago when the new sickly puppy we took in killed one of my birds that I handfed myself, he killed him right infront of me, he's an escape artist, he took his last breath in my arms and I just started crying uncontrollably and it was very hard for me to be at work at that time as I sat there and cry thinking about him. I took many sick days off work that time.

Your baby will always be watching over you and I know its hard but time willn heal your broken heart.

 

[ruffledfeathers]

I actually ended up taking a lot of time off when Pablo died. I was surprised that i would call in again saying "i'm sorry but i just can't stop crying!" I was having nightmares, etc. I had been trying to have a baby and just miscarried, so i felt like i was 'losing everything' i loved and needed.
My dog Chu couldn't handle the grief and when the vet said to get him a friend, Pinto entered our lives and kind of 'saved us'! Pinto was the crazy puppy who saved us from grief.
Hoping your dogs live long lives!! My friend's little guy made it to 17, healthy up to the last few weeks of his life.

 

[ruffledfeathers]

Tissue alert! I just saw this and had to add it to this thread.

 

[chippy]

My heart goes out to you... I, too, have held a beloved pet while she died, and it is heartbreaking... (((hugs)))

 

[Featheredsamurai]

Loosing dogs is such a hard thing. It hurts that they live such short lives. My cocker spaniel is 13 years old now, he's slowed down a lot and is just starting to get cataracts(but it doesn't seem to affect his vision yet). I hope he has at least 4 years left in him :heart:

When we had to put our first dog down because of kidney failure at 17 years of age I cried and cried. I was in 5th grade and it broke my heart that my parents didn't let me go with them to the vet, I was so depressed and cried at school knowing my dog was dyeing and I couldn't be there for her. Her last couple days of life were so hard, we tried all we could but nothing seemed to help. She was so weak she couldn't walk, and you could tell she was miserable. My parents told me that she passed on when the vet gave her the sedative, and the actual euthanasia shot wasn't even needed because of how weak she had been

 

[faeryphoebe1]

I'm so sorry about Pablo. Fur babies and fids are so very special. They truly bring love into our hearts in ways that even death cannot conquer. :64:

 

[antoinette]

I to am in tears reading all the above posts
Brings back many memories of past pets that are no longer with me
Memories are forever with us

 

[ruffledfeathers]

Thanks everyone. Even though I miss Pablo, I am comforted by the fact that I was there for him when he needed me. He was with me as a baby and he was with me the day he died, as it should be! My heart just breaks for senior pets who lose their home for whatever reason. I am often drawn to the senior dogs on Petfinder--less 'adoptable' but deserving of our loyalty.