Thoughts on a bird for an older retired couple

[HRH Di]

2 weeks ago, my in-laws lost their 14 year old dog. We were with them this weekend and my father-in-law asked about a parrot. I was wondering if anyone has any insight on this.

Here's some background. They are older (late 60's and erly 70's) - so pretty much any bird would probably be rehomed to us at some point. They live in a small town on the Texas Gulf Coast, where they moved about 4 years ago. My husband and I are about 7 hrs away and they don't have any other family within 3 hrs of them. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with dementia about a year ago. They don't travel a lot, but take a weekend trip about once a month and usually about 2-3 longer trips of a week or so during the year - but always in the car, they never fly. They always took their dog with them.

Because of the travel and my MIL's health, the bird would have to be clipped and they'd want to get it used to traveling in the car. They would like something cuddly and that could learn to talk. They've had birds before - budgie when my MIL was a child and doves and cockatiels when my husband was growing up - but they've never had a large bird. The area they live in has a large bird owners' group so I think they'd have lots of support and resources.

I know any pet they have will be well cared for and loved. I don't think my FIL really excited about another dog and doesn't like cats, but he feels that my MIL does better when a pet. She wants something that will sit with her and let her pet him.

I'm a little torn. We love our birds so much, that we think everyone's life would be better if they had one. But I'm not sure about this situation. Do you all think a parrot is a good option?

 

[parrotqueen]

I'm not sure if a parrot is really a good idea or not. It's good however, that you will be there when the birds need to be rehomed.

For something smaller, I would suggest a parrotlet or a lovebird from a breeder. They are very cuddly when they are from a breeder, and they usually aren't very cuddly when from a pet store.

For something more colorful, I would suggest a Green-cheeked conure. Those little guys love lots of physical play, and lots of cuddling.

For something bigger, I would suggest a Macaw of some sort. Military macaws, Blue and gold macaws, and Hyacinth macaws are among the cuddliest. Some specific hybrid macaws can also be great cuddlers.

Sometimes certain cockatoos can be cuddly, like maybe a Goffins or a Galah. I haven't had much experience with the two though, nor have I read much on them.

I hope this helps you out a bit!

 

[HRH Di]

PQ - thanks so much!

I'm really torn on this. On one hand, the size and intelligence of a parrot is so appealing. And they'll have lots of time to spend with a it. On the other hand, my MIL's health is a concern. Their age is, too, but as I said, we'd be willing to take the bird if something happens.

I had thought about a conure or parrolet. And our RHM is incredibly cuddly although she's a bit more active than I think would be good for them. There's a sweet little goffin at a local bird store. This store has a very good reputation and breeds some of their own birds, so I'd be comfortable with getting a bird from them.

Their home is on the smaller side, but since the bird wouldn't be flighted, I don't think that would be an issue.

 

[parrotqueen]

...although she's a bit more active than I think would be good for them.

I considered that too, and wondered if it would be an issue. That's why I included the Hyacinth Macaw, becasue they're so laid back. The unfortunate thing is, they're incredibly expensive. I'm not sure, but I think Military Macaws are relatively laid back birds; maybe making a cheaper alternative to the Hyacinth. If this is a concern, more than likely the B&G isn't a good choice. They're really active, especially at a young age.

Maybe if you went to your bird store and hung around all the birds for a while, you'd get an idea of what they're like? I went to my favorite bird store recently, and I got to see exactly what B&G's are like. Thast was very, very helpful.

 

[Spiritbird]

In reading your notes above and PQ's I have to say the idea of a bird for this couple is marginal at best. One is the cost of vet and foods. The other, depending on the stage of the alzheimers I would say your dad in law will have his hands full taking care of his wife at some point. Having support is a good thing but will it be there if and when it is needed (bird emergency). Sorry to be on the negative side of this but I am a realist at heart. How about a fish tank with assorted fish?

 

[HRH Di]

SB, your concerns are the same as mine.

Vet costs really aren't an issue. They're used to that because of their dog. Since she was older, there were lots of trips to the vet in recent years.

Because of the Alzheimers, I was thinking about something smaller - hence a cockatiel or conure. Although macaws are usually more cuddly, I thinking it's just not a good idea for a parrot that big.

I'm usually of the opinion that if one has to think about something this long, it's usually not a good idea.

 

[SharonC]

I'm an older retired person,(I'm 55) and considering a YNA. I've been thinking for months about a very well socilaized YNA that is up for rehoming , and I'm going to at least go meet him on Saturday. I can't forsee everything that may occur, down the road, and I'm going to stop trying to see every possible complication. Your situation is different in that there are health issues. Also, depending on the severity of the dementia, your MIL may not be able to "handle" some birds safely, in regards to misreading the bird, and getting bitten. Will she understand that and still enjoy, and want to handle the bird? I find that the bigger the bird, the more complicated things can be, and the nastier the bite. You understand that, with your flock. I have fish tanks, and they don't fill a need to nurture. I don't know what to suggest, if the FIL doesn't want another dog.....or cat....They're the ideal "cuddlers", and do seem to understand and accept people and their problems.

 

[antoinette]

Sharon is quite correct saying that a cat or dog are the ideal cuddles.
Much easier to care for, and clean up afterwords. A bird requires a lot of one on one time. Keep in mind, teaching a bird to talk, could take many hours, would they have the time and patience. What if the bird is a very demanding screaming bird
You mentioned that your MIL wants something that will sit with her and let her pet him. A bird sits still for a short time, especially one that is being touched. On the other hand a dog, could sit for much longer periods, being a fantastic loving companion.
The above is just my personal opinion, looking at the big picture, just trying to point out certain things.
Let us know your decision.
Good ck

 

[HRH Di]

I really appreciate everyone's opinions - especially the cautionary ones. Again, I believe that if I have to think this hard about it and truly, in my gut, I have reservations, it's obviously something that needs to go on the back burner.

I went to a local bird store today just to see what they had, and other than a 7 month old Goffin who I'd love to take home, nothing really "spoke" to me, if that makes sense. And, after Ruby, I'm getting no more birds until I can spend all day at home with them.

 

[Mel]

Oh what a tough situation. Many nursing homes here in Oz have a resident dog/cat or pets as therapy visits, animals make a HUGE positive inpact on people in your in-laws situation. I'd love to say go for a parrot, we know how much joy they bring but unfortunately I'd have to say there are too many cons. I can't go past a dog or cat, there are so many in shelters that would be ideal for thier situation .... sorry