The Very Good news and the Very Bad News

[TheSpoiledReckless]

This month has been one of the most stressful months of my life, and no stressful time is complete without insomnia. Last week I had a total of about twelve hours of sleep all week, which ended tragically when I was cuddling with my beloved green cheek conure Darwin and randomly fell asleep without realizing I was even tired. unfortunately I woke in the early morning to find that I had rolled over her in the night. I was heartbroken and inconsolable, lost without the cuddly little bird that had been a gift to me in a very dark time of my life (I have major depression and anxiety along with more delightful disorders.) she was the sunshine to my world, my pride and joy and without her the world suddenly feels very empty. Which is why my therapist, mother and several other people made the decision to buy a baby umbrella cockatoo and have him registered as an emotional support animal. I choose a breeder for a very specific reason (I have rescued two of my four birds, one from an abusive home and the other rehomed from craiglist, the lovebirds were bought from a highschool breeding lovebirds for a project, all four of my very spoiled cats are rescued as well. If at all possible I advocate extremely strongly for adoption) I needed a bird that I had been involved with from the very beginning, trained specially to assist me with my depression and anxiety, which can be completely crippling at times. Hence the baby umbrella cockatoo that will be arriving in about two weeks on one to two handfeedings a day. Yes, I am an extremely experienced bird owner and though I have never handfed a bird I have assisted with many things similar and have people to train me before the bird arrives. As a side note, I am hoping that the new bird will help ease my rescued amazon Bonnie's depression over Darwin's death. Darwin was an incredible creature that will be missed dearly by more people then I can possibly name, she helped Bonnie come out of her shell and become a hand-able, calmer bird capable of being picked up often and fed from everyone's hands and into a generally very happy bird, without her favorite flock member Bonnie is showing signs of depression. Second side note, the new cockatoo has already been named Charlie, in honor of Darwin who was named for the scientist Charles Darwin.
Any advice is welcome, yes I believe in adopting and not buying from a breeder but the circumstances for my purchase are a bit specific. Stories about peoples cockatoo's are extremely welcome and anything else you can think of is welcome.

 

[SilverSage]

Hi
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I recently lost my beloved Cache during a depressive episode. I thought I would not survive.

Just a couple of things I want to mention;

First, I'm a breeder myself so obviously I'm not against buying a baby. However I have observed many times people buying babies to hand feed themselves (not from me; I don't sell unweaned) and what they expect is to create a deeper lifelong bond, but what ends up happening instead is that they become the "parent" figure and when the bird weans they seek out someone ELSE in the family while distancing themselves from the "parent" just like human teens.

However if you really are set on buying an unweaned baby I suggest Hartman Aviaries in Ohio. They are the only aviary actively working to domesticate parrots, and they offer very good support to the new owners who are hand feeding. They are obsessed with keeping the parrot MIND healthy, and as you know that's a really big deal for cockatoos.

As for getting your bird registered as an ESA, I'm sure you know but just in case; there is no official registry. All the "registries" for support and service animals are SCAMS. All you need is a letter from your mental healthcare provider.

Having an ESA is a VERY important part of my treatment, I hope you find it helpful as well.


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[wrench13]

Very sorry to hear of your loss, especially the way she went. That would cripple me beyond relief. I hope that 'Charlie' slowly fills the hole left by Darwin. I also hope your choice of a 'brella too is as wise as you think it is. Front what I read, too;s in general need a lot ( give back a lot also - but you got to have scratch to start ). Can you tell us why you picked that species?

For stories and advice , etc, this forum has a big sub forum for cockatoos - I would be reading that whole body of messages - several times over. That will keep you busy for two weeks at least.

Cheer up ! The sun never shines before it sets.

 

[Flboy]

I am so very sorry what you are going thru! Do not beat yourself up over loosing Darwin! These horrible accidents happen! Just this morning, if I came out of my room a second sooner, I would have lost JoJo! Simple error, my daughter failed to follow our established protocol coming in the front door!

There are a lot of really good folks here that will and do help!

 

[SailBoat]

There is no question that a Baby Parrot is a truly wonderful thing and can endlessly warm the heart!

However, the Mid - Large Parrots need to transition from Older Babies to Adults. This period of ragging hormones that can last from several months to to over a year. It can be likened to have a very tired toddler, who is teething and a teenage in the same body. Yes, many People have maintained a relationship though this period and survived with an even stronger relationship. But sometimes it doesn't end well.

Did the Breeder talk to you and your family about this? This could /can be a very emotionally draining period and you will need your support group to help you and your Too.

I am very sorry for your loss! May the memory of your sweet feathered friend bring you happy moments.

 

[GaleriaGila]

I join in expressing sympathy for you and sorrow over the loss.
Welcome to the Forums; glad you found us!
Advice I always give newcomers... take any issue or topic which interests you, and use the Search Tab to read, read, read about it. I do that a lot. The people here are an amazing source of information, advice, and support. And there are tons to read.

 

[TheSpoiledReckless]

I have the permission and blessing from my psychiatrist, just need a letter, so it is a definite thing. I choose an umbrella cockatoo because when I first got into parrots I was very interested in one 9so I had some background on them beforehand) I was deadset on a sun conure but after speaking with my vet and a few different people I decided that the umbrella would be a very good fit for my personality and need level (I'm clingy, sue me) I'm in college, I'm working and I still have time to spoil my parrots rotten. I plan on harness training Charlie to take him outside with me, I would like to do so with the birds I currently have but with their comfort levels it just isn't a possibility.
Fun fact though, I'm currently designing Darwin's memorial tattoo. It is going on my thigh next to my big lion tattoo and it will be her in a cartoon style playing or messing around the way she loved to do.
When Charlie arrives she will be on only one feeding a day I believe and we will switch it up between myself and my mother. I have not heard about them viewing as parents and pulling away, though I will definitely keep it in mind and figure out a way to stop that from happening. If that means in the end I have to ask the breeder to keep her a few more weeks until she is fully weaned, so be it.
I hope to be able to take Charlie to work with me in future, it may sounds weird but I am in training to be a zookeeper, so it is not entirely strange. I would take Bonnie, but she would have a heart attack, she's a calm little old lady, loves her peace and quiet. (hehe, Charlie is gonna drive her nuts until she gets use to it).
Thank you for all your condolences, I miss Darwin very much and am horrified by my part played in her death. Fortunately, though I am heartbroken, I do not over blame myself for her death. I did not sit in bed with the intention of sleeping and I did not even intend her harm in any way. She was loved beyond measure, spoiled and adored by her many fans. She was my world, and I know that I was hers. Charlie is not her replacement because there is no creature on this earth who could replace Darwin, Charlie is a new start and a creature I hope to love as much as I have come to love all my pets in their own ways.

 

[TheSpoiledReckless]

There is no question that a Baby Parrot is a truly wonderful thing and can endlessly warm the heart!

However, the Mid - Large Parrots need to transition from Older Babies to Adults. This period of ragging hormones that can last from several months to to over a year. It can be likened to have a very tired toddler, who is teething and a teenage in the same body. Yes, many People have maintained a relationship though this period and survived with an even stronger relationship. But sometimes it doesn't end well.

Did the Breeder talk to you and your family about this? This could /can be a very emotionally draining period and you will need your support group to help you and your Too.

I am very sorry for your loss! May the memory of your sweet feathered friend bring you happy moments.

Although mid-large parrots likely experience this transition very strongly (much more than any of my birds for sure), I am very familiar with it in my conure and my two lovebirds. I also have an amazon (though likely in her thirties), so hormonal mood swings are nothing new. haha! I know how to handle it in both my smaller birds and my amazon, and am aware that it is stressful but when I made the decision to dedicate my entire life to animal care i did it knowing there would be difficult times when I wanted to break down. I never have and I have been though some hard times. Love for the amazing animals who have blessed me with their presence in my life keeps me going and looking to always improve their lives.

 

[TheSpoiledReckless]

Sorry if I sound a bit scrambled, it has been an extremely long day at work.

 

[Jayyj]

I'm very sorry to hear of your circumstances and completely agree that pets can be a huge help in dealing with psychological disorders.

However, please, please, please do your homework on what cockatoos, particularly the large ones such as umbrellas and mullocans, are like as pets and how much work is involved in keeping one. Once they reach maturity they're very extreme birds, very needy, highly strung and prone to behavioural issues and I would really worry that an umbrella would in the long term end up adding to your problems rather than providing support. There's a lot written about them and the issues that are associated with the species if you spend a few hours on Google.

They can be wonderful and there are plenty of success stories about them, but please do read up on the bad stuff before you go through with this.

I don't mean to be unsupportive and I do completely understand where you're coming from - it's just this particular species that I worry could end up causing you a great deal of stress further down the line which isn't going to be good for either your health or the bird.

I really hope things get better for you, and this forum is a wonderfully supportive place to visit so I hope we can help!

 

[Flboy]

Sorry if I sound a bit scrambled, it has been an extremely long day at work.

Ha, Your clarity and ability to write your thought/feeling is better than my rants--on a good day!

 

[TheSpoiledReckless]

I'm very sorry to hear of your circumstances and completely agree that pets can be a huge help in dealing with psychological disorders.

However, please, please, please do your homework on what cockatoos, particularly the large ones such as umbrellas and mullocans, are like as pets and how much work is involved in keeping one. Once they reach maturity they're very extreme birds, very needy, highly strung and prone to behavioural issues and I would really worry that an umbrella would in the long term end up adding to your problems rather than providing support. There's a lot written about them and the issues that are associated with the species if you spend a few hours on Google.

They can be wonderful and there are plenty of success stories about them, but please do read up on the bad stuff before you go through with this.

I don't mean to be unsupportive and I do completely understand where you're coming from - it's just this particular species that I worry could end up causing you a great deal of stress further down the line which isn't going to be good for either your health or the bird.

I really hope things get better for you, and this forum is a wonderfully supportive place to visit so I hope we can help!

Thank you! Do you have any articles or threads you suggest in particular? I've seen a ton of them, but the majority of them are horror stories about people who did not care at all about the parrot, I'd like the perspective of someone who loved their bird and tried to fix the situation. Too often it is 'bird started screaming, owner started hitting cage and yelling at them' I'd like to see 'I love my parrot and want to fix this issue'

 

[TheSpoiledReckless]

Sorry if I sound a bit scrambled, it has been an extremely long day at work.

Ha, Your clarity and ability to write your thought/feeling is better than my rants--on a good day!

Haha! That's because I'm reading them four or five times over before posting to make sure I don't sound completely off my rocker!

 

[TheSpoiledReckless]

Hi
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I recently lost my beloved Cache during a depressive episode. I thought I would not survive.

Just a couple of things I want to mention;

First, I'm a breeder myself so obviously I'm not against buying a baby. However I have observed many times people buying babies to hand feed themselves (not from me; I don't sell unweaned) and what they expect is to create a deeper lifelong bond, but what ends up happening instead is that they become the "parent" figure and when the bird weans they seek out someone ELSE in the family while distancing themselves from the "parent" just like human teens.

However if you really are set on buying an unweaned baby I suggest Hartman Aviaries in Ohio. They are the only aviary actively working to domesticate parrots, and they offer very good support to the new owners who are hand feeding. They are obsessed with keeping the parrot MIND healthy, and as you know that's a really big deal for cockatoos.

As for getting your bird registered as an ESA, I'm sure you know but just in case; there is no official registry. All the "registries" for support and service animals are SCAMS. All you need is a letter from your mental healthcare provider.

Having an ESA is a VERY important part of my treatment, I hope you find it helpful as well.


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Unfortunately I looked at Hartman Aviaries (A lot cheaper than where I am buying too), their website says that after 32 years of raising birds they have decided to retire and there will be no more baby birds.

 

[labell]

I am very sorry for your loss. Many of us here know that anguish.

A note of caution. Cockatoos are very cuddly and will respond to a clingy owner however this can be a bad thing in the long run for the parrot. Due to the sensitive nature of cockatoos they can and do (more so than many other parrot species) pick up on and respond to their owners moods and anxiety. It would be the anxiety that I would be concerned with.

When I would sell weaned cockatoo babies (I also agree that hand feeding will not make the bond stronger and can actually have the reverse effect upon maturity) I would also tell the new owners how incredibly sensitive cockatoos are, they must learn to self entertain. It is easy to cuddle them and take them every where when they are needy bundles of white ball fluff and those big liquid eyes...forget about it. It takes a strong willed person to put a baby cockatoo back in their cage to play but you really must. The time you spend with them that first year should be the same amount of time you will spend each day in ten years and twenty years. They remember. If that affection time changes you often times end up with a screaming, plucking neurotic unhappy bird.

Not that you would ever plan this but keep in mind if for some reason you were unable to keep the bird it's whole life you have to think about the amount of reasonable time that someone else could give them daily. We never know what the future has in store and it is imperative that we strive to socialize and make our companion birds friendly and well adjusted so that if something were to happen you know your bird would be able to lead a happy life with some one else.

 

[CDavis]

If birds are Your world than i think a cockatoo would be a great addition for your flock Just be positive that your ready for one I would go spend a day in a rescue and make sure that it is I don't doubt you but I have been around a couple u2s and m2s and even in those couple hours I knew that I couldn't actually live with one even though they do sound amazing on paper. They are just soooo needy that it actually is intimidating. But just know that it takes a special kind of crazy to live with a cockatoo.
Btw have you considered a Greenwing macaw they sound absolutely perfect for you they are much less needy love to cuddle and are great to bring around town with you. Also if you do consider a GW macaw you should contact eggs otic parroting they are amazing GW breeders.

 

[TheSpoiledReckless]

I have been around Moluccan and Umbrella cockatoos a few times, yes, they are very intimidating (I'll admit that) but I will always remember the feeling I had holding an umbrella for the first time. I know that hardship of putting a cuddly baby bird back in their cage to play by themself. I have never met a bird as cuddly and needy as Darwin, putting her back in her cage was a test of patience. She learned every single trick to stop me from getting her in the cage. She learned to grab the top of the door and flip herself out of the cage before I could close it, or to clench her feet on the bars and lower her body until getting her off the surface she was attached to because completely impossible.
I'm gonna cry of happiness remember all of this at work. I really do miss her, whenever I think I'm recovering, I see a toy she left behind or a drop of bird poop in a random place. I have never felt nostalgic over birdy poop in my whole life, now I'm constantly staring sadly at poop.
The only bird I'm not strict about forcing back in their cage at the end of the day or before I leave is Bonnie, who sits quietly on her playtop day and night. After years of being trapped in a tiny parakeet cage and passed from bad home to bad home I haven't got the heart to make her sit in her cage for any period of time. She only goes in her cage if I am going to be gone the entire day and no one else is home to check in on her. Though on her really bad days she refuses to leave the safety of her cage.

 

[SailBoat]

I know /hope that you can hear the 'concern' for you that each Post is offering in varying ways. There has just been some many horror stories with Large Too's that they tend blocked out the truly wonderful ones.

It sounds like you have done your research and are preparing for the arrival of your White Fluff Ball. I am certain that everyone on the Parrot Forums is routing for your success!

Maximize every moment for your success and happiness is sure to come Your Way!

I have to admit that Too's are wonderful to hold! But for me, those deep dark eyes just spook me out!

 

[SilverSage]

I just went and checked and found that you are right. I'm quite disappointed as I really wanted to get a caique from him (they are illegal in my current state so it will be at least 2 years.


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[Jayyj]

I'm very sorry to hear of your circumstances and completely agree that pets can be a huge help in dealing with psychological disorders.

However, please, please, please do your homework on what cockatoos, particularly the large ones such as umbrellas and mullocans, are like as pets and how much work is involved in keeping one. Once they reach maturity they're very extreme birds, very needy, highly strung and prone to behavioural issues and I would really worry that an umbrella would in the long term end up adding to your problems rather than providing support. There's a lot written about them and the issues that are associated with the species if you spend a few hours on Google.

They can be wonderful and there are plenty of success stories about them, but please do read up on the bad stuff before you go through with this.

I don't mean to be unsupportive and I do completely understand where you're coming from - it's just this particular species that I worry could end up causing you a great deal of stress further down the line which isn't going to be good for either your health or the bird.

I really hope things get better for you, and this forum is a wonderfully supportive place to visit so I hope we can help!

Thank you! Do you have any articles or threads you suggest in particular? I've seen a ton of them, but the majority of them are horror stories about people who did not care at all about the parrot, I'd like the perspective of someone who loved their bird and tried to fix the situation. Too often it is 'bird started screaming, owner started hitting cage and yelling at them' I'd like to see 'I love my parrot and want to fix this issue'

Here's an old thread I remember from on here on the subject. Birdman666 who contributes to that thread has worked with a lot of problem birds and there are others posting who have a lot of experience along with some positive stuff. Birdman666 also links to a website that gives a lot of info on what happens when things go wrong with them.

http://www.parrotforums.com/cockato...-umbrella-cockatoos-bit-over-exaggerated.html

That's have been other threads on here worth reading, including more on MikeTN's bad experience briefly mentioned in the thread I linked to. You can search this forum for info more effectively than using the forum search box by typing your keywords followed by 'site:www.parrotforums.com' straight into Google - it tells Google to only search within the forum website.

Hope that helps as a starting point.

Also, just throwing it out there but where manageable cockatoos are concerned galahs are well worth doing some research on - to me they have most of the qualities people think of as desirable in a cockatoo but they're much steadier and more in line with other medium sized parrots in terms of how big a challenge they are. Mine was a rescue and has needed a lot of confidence building (four years on she's doing great) but the people on here who have had galahs from babies all seem to report that they flourish with love and attention.