Thank you!

[nykkchick]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and understanding. Maybe you guys can help me heal from my grief. Since I haven't posted 20 posts yet I cannot PM anyone other than the staff as much as I would like to! The support I have got does help! I guess I rehashed stuff as I try to understand why it had to happen because maybe if I had some answers I could get some peace but I guess God wanted my babies in heaven, my grandmother loved birds, both grandmothers actually did, so they are now by their sides. I know Skye is around me. I actually dreamt about him, and he told me what happened and he told me I healed him, and he is fully feathered. In a PM that I couldn't respond too yet It was suggested that I create a memorial post for them. When I am strong enough and can look at their photos without losing it, as I am crying now when I type this, I will. I am glad it was also suggested maybe a grief counselor as there is nothing wrong with it. Because I love my animals very strongly, after what I have gone through with people, I really have a hard time I guess "bonding" with them or getting close to them, so instead I have bonded with my animals. I have other animals besides macaws, (I have 2) but there was something special with macaws. I have never loved a man the way I have felt love in my heart for macaws. They love me too. I always seem to come across ones in need of help whether walking into a bar, or getting an email. The joy of helping them just warms my heart. Maybe I hide with my macaws and attach to them as they don't hurt me the way people do and maybe that's why this hurts so bad. After 7 months of doing odds and ends jobs I did get a job working at home with a company that does weight loss stuff, customer service, I have struggled with weight for a long time, so helping people in this kind of setting is perfect for me as I can be empathetic as I am that person battling my weight too. (Holding on to a size 14 junior 15/16 right now at 5'9 instead of a size 24) I know that will help to be excited about a job. The thing that really helps now too is the support. To the person whos bird almost lost a leg, I am so glad your bird is ok. I know that the min. another macaw or macaws come my way needing out of a terrible situation and need a momma not someone who just throws them in the basement or in a bar and leaves them alone, I will be there to take them in. Chloee and Skye would want that. Skye I pulled through pneumonia as a baby, he was a fighter at 5.5 weeks. I just cant believe something like this took his life. Chloee was perfect, she was my migraine comforter. She would always lay on my pillow with me snuggled up. If I would cry about something, she was there as well as Skye, licking my tears away. Chloee when needing to lay an egg would lay them on my chest and wanted me to hold her in my arms. I know tragedies happen to people everyday. I met a woman who lost 2 of her birds because an apt complex didn't let her know they were pouring some kind of asphalt or something and the fumes killed her babies recently. I guess I have to let go now, because in that harsh reality there is nothing that I can do. No matter how much I have tried or how much I want too. Thanks again everyone. Love and cherish those babies! Smell all food, and to the one woman that actually tasted your birds food that is awesome. I shoulda done that! Though I do smell everything now. Sorry if I am rambling. It is just nice to have had people come to support me and not bash me, and I need that. I think everyone here understand how much it hurts to lose a bird and people that I do allow in my life understand but have their limits. Thanks.

 

[JerseyWendy]

Many, MANY hugs to you!!!!

And thank YOU for making me realize that each and every day I get to spend with my babies is a good day.

I had tears in my eyes reading your post(s)....you have much love in your heart, and I'm sorry you are hurting so much.

 

[Mayden]

Eurg, my heart aches for you. May your fids rest in peace. You're more than welcome here any time regarding birdy stuff (or anything really!). I hope you find peace with their passing. It's obvious you loved your birds.

Lots of love from me and my flock. xx

 

[WannaBeAParrot]

Please be easy with yourself. You are starting to let go of your anger and that is the first step in your healing process from this tragic loss. I'm so glad you have other pets to love and find comfort in. Blessings to you.

 

[nykkchick]

Thanks everyone! One day at a time now. My other animals help a lot.

 

[strudel]

Yes, the support we can get can be very helpful. You are not alone in having had tragic losses, if you read the bereavement subforum you'll see many of us have had to deal with losses including where we have feelings of guilt where we've felt responsible or have actually made a mistake (I'm including myself, even though I haven't posted about it on here).

It doesn't change how you feel about your own situation directly, but knowing that "you aren't the only one" can make you feel less isolated in coming to terms with it. Also, I see others who've had "worse" things and feel a bit like I shouldn't be wallowing so much and get some perspective.

I really hope that you are on your way to moving on from this and putting it behind you.