Serious problem

[Ianknight]

Hey guys I have a problem so I went out of town for a week to work and my mom watched cooper for me they weren’t friends when I left and now they are super close so last night at 4 am I had to move his cage when I got home from my trip when I did so I petted him and scratched him like normal and I thought wow just like when I left , this morning and pretty much the whole day he has been going out of his way to viciously attack me drawing blood 3 times and just now tonight he finally took an almond and let me touch his head, I broke down crying not from the pain but because he was acting like he hated me, can somone tell me what happened

 

[wrench13]

Start your relationship over from scratch.

 

[Ianknight]

Do you know why this happened ?

 

[Laurasea]

You are a bad birdie for leaving him for a week, and he is letting you know it! You should be forgiven in a few days. Go ahead and explain to him, and ask for forgiveness, sometimes I think the intent is shared and understand. And make sure you are clear next time you have to leave so he knows. When I've had to spend time in the hospital my birds have been put out and huffy when I return. It's hard on birds when we leave, it's unnatural to them, as they stay together always......that's my take anyway.
Lol so take your medicine, and go slow give treats and say you are sorry.

 

[charmedbyekkie]

The why could be a variety of reasons. It could be your time away was unexpected and unfamiliar, could be you came back looking a bit different, could be he doesn't trust you for some reason, could be hormones, could be lack of sleep, could be instability in his schedule, etc.

It's really hard to say. What we can gather is that the relationship is always on the bird's terms. If your bird is feeling insecure or acting like this for whatever reason, you have to start from where he's at. It might take a day or two, it might take weeks or months. Just give it time and don't take it personally. Your bird can't tell you verbally what's going on, and it sounds like he's struggling to sort out whatever is going on. He just needs you to work at his pace.


My partner experienced something similar. When I was overseas for work for a week most recently, Cairo was very aggressive with my partner, lunging and biting the guy he normally likes to chill out with. He was not just biting, but also screaming more frequently. And I work a full-time job, so Cairo should be used to me not being home most of the day. Then when I returned, he calmed down and tried to regurgitate for me (definitely not where I want our relationship to go).

 

[Flboy]

When I used to travel, first night home was sweet! Next day, JoJo let me know I did wrong! He will attack me if he sees me packing a suitcase! At first, he keeps pulling stuff back out, until he sees that isn’t stopping me!

 

[SailBoat]

Truly great comments and information provided above.
In their natural World, as stated, they stay together near all the time and contact call when one of more are out of sight.

When a member is gone for an extended period of time, they become (and rightfully so) concerned that member has been killed by a bird of prey or like and will never return. When reinforced with time (days / weeks, etc...) the fear of a permanent lose sets in.

A very long time ago, keeping in contact while traveling was expensive and difficult. Today, with near Worldwide connection of both voice and visual abilities of mobile phones there is no reason to not keep in contact with your Parrot.

 

[Scott]

Agree with all of the above! Cooper was not amused with your absence, but all ought not be lost. You'll have to retrace some of your earlier bonding steps to regain trust. If you plan to travel periodically, might consider Skype/Facetime to keep in touch. Parrots respond very well to screen images and audio.

 

[Ianknight]

Thank y’all for all the amazing replies y’all all seem to know a ton about birds , I tried FaceTime but he didn’t like it very much

 

[Ianknight]

This morning he let me scratch his neck head and wings and took an almond from me but I started singing and dancing around the cage because normally he likes that and he lunged at the cage with the almond in his mouth

 

[itzjbean]

The larger species -- cockatoos, macaws, greys and Amazons -- are more likely to 'hold grudges' for their owners leaving then other smaller species. My cockatiels never get angry when we come back home, are just excited to see us again, but cockatoos are MUCH more complicated intelligence wise and mentally, bigger brains, etc, which leads them to have more neurotic and taking your actions more personal. Nothing to worry about for now, just be sure to listen to that body language and resepct his boundaries for now.

 

[Siobhan]

You must be punished for going away. Once you have groveled enough and presented enough acceptable offerings, you will grudgingly be forgiven but you'd better never do that again.

 

[Ianknight]

So guys he was good this morning and then he saw my mom and he is attacking again I think he picked my mom for my mate

 

[Scott]

That is possible, you'll have to work hard to regain trust. Cockatoos are less likely to become one-person birds, but the mating instinct is strong. Does your mom refrain from touching anywhere but the head? Caressing on the wings, back, belly, and below can be interpreted as mating rituals.

 

[noodles123]

My cockatoo does this to me sometimes if I leave town. Just give it time and try not to react to the bites (I know...) It could take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, but just try to act like you don't notice it---definitely try not to get twitchy about it or your bird will likely feed off of your energy and get more nippy for the time being. Try to keep your hand motions smooth and confident (while respecting body language---but preferably ignoring any posturing/attitude...it can be a fine line).

Cooper is a cockatoo, right? I have a very strong feeling that your bird is just pissed at you for leaving. Mine usually takes about 2-3 weeks to fully return to normal if I leave her somewhere. She also gets a bit nippy if she is around new people for more than a day or so (nippy with me). For instance, when I visit my parents, she will sometimes bite me (drawing blood) if we stay for a long period and she is still in that transition window (2 days- 3 weeks). She never bites at home, and once she adjusts to the new environment she is fine, but it's like she has to reestablish everything if we stay in a new setting for more than a few days.

 

[Ianknight]

He was fine this morning then when he saw my mom he kept attacking

 

[noodles123]

That happens sometimes, but in my experience, it isn't permanent (depending on your reactions etc). My bird is obsessed with my dad and sometimes does that stuff around him--more so when other people are holding her and he enters the room, but she is definitely more nippy with me here than when we are at home (she has drawn blood). At home, she never bites, so even a bite every few days is a MAJOR shift for her.
That having been said, the shine *cough OBSESSION* is starting to wear off and after weeks of daily interaction with everyone (dad, mom, sister etc), she is liking the rest of my family more (and adjusting to the transition of a long stay at a non-home place). She has visited before, but this may be our most successful long-term visit (although looking at my hands, you might not know it). She is getting way better about letting everyone handle her (even when dad is around) and she is following directions like she did at home w/ out major issues---but this took a long time. This is our longest visit and it is not our first, and for the past 2 weeks, it was kind of rocky and unpredictable (as anticipated). It always is weird when new dynamics, environments, and people are introduced. This can be punctuated when there is a perceived slight by you (e.g, "abandoning her")---I know you didn't but cockatoos can hold a grudge like a middle school girl. I know you think your bird picked your mom, but just because your bird is infatuated with her (following your absence) does not mean this will last. She was probably like a raft in a raging river ---the closest thing to grab onto in your absence (a rebound person lol). Now, I'm sure your bird will always like your mom, and maybe even prefer her (hard to say) but cockatoos CAN bond closely to more than one human as long as their hormones/sleep/petting etc are all kept in-check and behavioral issues are not reinforced.

How long had you had Cooper before leaving him with your mom?

 

[noodles123]

I see that you mentioned scratching his wings. That is a sure-fire way to get them hormonal and aggressive. Never pet anywhere other than the head and neck (you and anyone else handling him). Also, make sure he has no access to dark/shadowy places or "snuggles" (or huts/tents).
Cuddling a cockatoo is a bad deal for them and you (even though they love it). If your mom was petting him in a sexually stimulating way (or if you were before dropping him off) that is likely playing a role and it can be corrected in time (assuming inappropriate contact ceases, and bedtime/light cycles are regulated).

 

[itzjbean]

I see that you mentioned scratching his wings. That is a sure-fire way to get them hormonal and aggressive. Never pet anywhere other than the head and neck (you and anyone else handling him). Also, make sure he has no access to dark/shadowy places or "snuggles" (or huts/tents).
Cuddling a cockatoo is a bad deal for them and you (even though they love it). If your mom was petting him in a sexually stimulating way (or if you were before dropping him off) that is likely playing a role and it can be corrected in time (assuming inappropriate contact ceases, and bedtime/light cycles are regulated).

YES this is very important with handling cockatoos, you shouldn't pet or cuddle them along the back, under the wings, over the wings, only scratches on the neck and head are acceptable behavior. No cuddling other areas as it will definitely stimulate them to want to breed and pick a mate. Hope you mom has not been cuddling him either as it can cause unwanted hormonal behavior (like this) as well as aggression towards others.

 

[Ianknight]

I’m very disappointed, he just hates me and attacks me and I was really hoping my bird wouldn’t pick my mom like that