Rocky's history

[Siobhan]

Typical of a cockatoo, Rocky has had many homes and we had given up all hope of ever tracking down how old he is or any real information about him. We knew something of his most recent two homes, both appallingly bad and likely to blame for his fear of so many things, but that was as far back as we could go, until now.

My husband and some friends are replacing the roof of our house and one of his helpers is the adult son of a longtime friend. We've known this boy since he was a little kid, and when he saw Rocky and asked a couple of questions, he told my husband that he knows the family who had him for several years. The people who got Rocky from the breeder didn't keep him long, and we don't know why. Kevin knows the second family, who had him about five years. They gave him to the first of the two homes we knew of, so this fills the gaps and now we know his age, which is 9. We're his fifth home in nine years. That is so sadly the story for most cockatoos, passed around and around and never finding a forever home. I feel even worse now that we tried to rehome him, but also very glad he's back home and he is STAYING home this time.

He has settled back in for the most part. He's still much quieter and more subdued than he was before spending the weekend with my friend, but back to stepping up willingly and is eating normally again. He wasn't eating much for a few days.

 

[Scott]

What an amazing revelation. Such statistics boggle the mind, no wonder so many toos come to a fresh home lugging mysterious "baggage."

 

[Siobhan]

He definitely has baggage. That first family cared enough to buy him a very nice and proper cage, but somewhere along the line, somebody threw something heavy enough that the front bars have a deep dent. It's a seriously stout cage, so imagine how heavy that item had to be. He has at least one badly healed break in a wing, so he can't fly, though he can flutter to the floor if he wants to. I don't think I need to know how that happened or somebody would get hurt and I'd go to jail. He used to be terrified of the broom, but he finally got over that when ours was used only for sweeping. He's still uneasy with TV trays, but not as much as he used to be. We eat off ours almost every day, and us carrying them into the living room used to terrify him. He didn't used to want to be more than a couple of feet away from his cage, but we can take him completely out of sight of it now and he's fine, as long as he's with us. He's suspicious of men, but is okay with Hubby and is getting better with our male friends. He doesn't mind our dog at all but flying birds startle him. Even so, he enjoys sitting on the porch and watching the bird feeders. I don't think he's AFRAID of the flying birds, they just startle him.

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

Geeez...if our fid's could really "talk"..imagine what they would tell us??? All of us here on this awesome forum LOVE our kids..and love our members kids.
I'm sure there is enough of us here who would literally gasp and cry if we could hear some of these stories,I kmow I would!

It put a huge on my face reading this post. THANK YOU for taking Rocky into your heart and home. It sounds like he is realizing that he isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Keep it up Rocky and try like heck to finally live! :40: :07:



Jim

 

[EllenD]

Wow, it's amazing that your friend actually knew Rocky's history, but boy, be careful what you wish for, huh...While knowing as much as you can find out about Rocky's history will definitely help you to help him in the long-run, it's so very difficult to know what he's been through...and you don't really even know what he's actually been through...As you said, it may be better that way for a lot of reasons...

The real tragedy of Rocky's history is exactly what you mentioned...that it's so very typical, almost expected...That's exactly what makes me so angry and sad for these guys at the same time, the fact that you must almost "expect" this type of history and "baggage" when adopting an adult Cockatoo.

As far as why Rocky's first owner, that got him from his breeder as a very young baby re-homed him so quickly after bringing him home...Well, the fact is that most people in-general do not realize that when they decide to bring a Cockatoo into their home, especially an Umbrella or Moluccan, that they are essentially bringing a human-toddler into their home and their lives. Even the people who have prior parrot experience and who do tons and tons of research about them, and even the ones who make the effort to mentor with a breeder or spend a lot of time with them prior to actually bringing one home, don't quite grasp the concept that they are essentially adopting a perpetual, human toddler...it gravity of the situation doesn't hit them until they get the 'Too home and the initial "honeymoon" period passes. Even people who buy a just-weaned, hand-raised, hand-fed, extremely tame, loving, cuddly little baby 'Too don't realize what is required of them until they are smack-dam in the middle of it. It's really sad to think about, as no one just "re-homes" their own human baby/toddler, well, they can't because it's illegal (I hate to say this, but I'm sure many people actually would re-home their toddlers if they could get away with it)....But it's just so easy to say "Okay, I can't do this anymore" with a parrot and pop an ad up on Craigslist...and even make a good chunk of money doing it...And thus starts the vicious-cycle of being a Cockatoo, searching for a forever-home and forever-person...

It's very interesting (and sad) to think of the parallels between between human child-abuse at the hands of their parents, and the physical abuse of Cockatoos by their owners...Obviously, and unfortunately, people very willingly "beat" their own, human children every single day, and fortunately, at least in most developed countries like the US, the UK, Canada, etc., there are many, many eyes on children every day, their teachers, their doctor, relatives, friends, the parents of their friends, etc. So if a child is being physically abused on a regular basis, it's usually eventually caught and reported to the authorities...But who is watching for the abuse of Cockatoos? No one. And that really isn't anyone's fault, as most Cockatoos don't go out a lot, or even leave the home at all, especially if they have an owner who physically abuses them, they certainly aren't usually prone to bringing the bird along with them on trips, errands, or just because they love their bird and want them to be enriched and socialized..if they did, they wouldn't be in the situation they are in with the bird in the first place...So no one gets to see these birds...And let's face it, it's sadly more common to see a plucked Cockatoo than it is to see one that isn't plucked, so that's not a tip-off of abuse, nor is a Cockatoo that is skitterish, as that's also very common, as most people fail to socialize their birds at all...So these poor birds, with the intelligence of a 4-5 year-old human toddler, are not only physically, verbally, psychologically, and emotionally abused on a regular basis, because their owners cannot handle a "pet bird" who needs the same care as a human toddler, but they are also usually bored to death, getting no enrichment, no socialization, very little positive attention, if any at all, and their owners aren't able to take a step back, look at the situation, and realize that the reason their bird is screaming all day long is because they are bored to death and not getting near the attention that they need...And so they yell and scream at the bird, which not only doesn't help, but ends-up progressing the situation, which then leads to the owner moving on from verbal abuse to throwing things at the bird's cage, and so on and so forth...

So when you adopt a Cockatoo like Rocky, who has had 5 homes and 5 owners in his only 9 short years of life, yes, you're unfortunately getting everything that those 4 prior owners have done to him, and not done for him...But most-importantly, you're getting an extremely intelligent bird who has been given absolutely no reason at all, not a single reason to ever trust another human-being ever again...And that's a huge mountain to cross...

The thing of it is, in Rocky's situation, is that this totally can be done, this mountain you're facing can be crossed...Rocky is only 9 years old. He's still a baby. And the fact that he was so very traumatized by just the few days that he left your home and was away from you is indicative of the fact that he you guys have most-likely been the only family that Rocky has had that he doesn't fear, obviously, and that he actually has formed quite a close, strong bond to. Rocky didn't just "miss" you guys, Rocky knew what was going on, as he'd already been through the same situation 4 times before (and believe it or not, as intelligent as he is, he probably did not react in at all the same way when he left one of his abusive-homes as he did when he was forced to leave your home, so that's something that you need to remember and hold-on to)...So yes, that few days of being away from his home and from his people really did "traumatize" Rocky. So that's a very positive sign that your relationship and your bond with Rocky is strong, is close, and that you have very-much started the process of earning his trust...It's a long process, especially based on what Rocky has gone through in his short-life, but you guys have obviously got it heading in the right direction...It's just a matter of your patience holding-out, and you not giving-up on Rocky, because he really does need you guys to be his family...And this isn't intended to be a guilt-trip towards you guys at all, I hope you don't take it that way. But you've got a really good start at literally saving this little guy's life, quite literally. I was so glad to hear you say that "He's not going anywhere ever again", I hope that you are able to stick to that commitment, I think that you will. You've got to always keep in the front of your mind that Rocky is very-much suffering from PTSD, and that his relationship with you so-far has probably been the only thing in his entire life that has ever started to pull him out of it, nurture him, and bring him comfort...and he hasn't had much comfort in his short 9 years, but you guys are just that, you're Rocky's comfort...and you're to be commended for that...Hopefully Rocky can be your comfort too...

 

[Siobhan]

When I rocked him before bedtime last night, which is our routine, he snuggled against me and dozed and muttered like he always has, but I felt so guilty. You're right, we're the only real stability he's probably ever had, and what did we do? We sent him away, too. He was being so difficult and none of the things we tried worked. But I think living without him for a couple of days made us realize we don't want to live without him, and knowing his age is helpful because, as you say, he's still a baby, really. Some of his behaviors may be baby/teenage stuff that will go away in time, and the longer he's with us, the more secure he'll feel, which may also help. He's smart, and maybe he's starting to think that his weekend with my friend was just "camp," as we jokingly called it, and we always intended to come back for him. We had two dogs, now sadly deceased, who had to spend a weekend at a boarding facility once when we went out of town, and they reacted much the same way. They were mad, they wouldn't eat, they pouted, for days after we picked them up. You can't explain to an animal.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Well, Rocky hit the jackpot. He doesn't know it yet, not fully, but HE WILL!

This story is an inspiration.

 

[bigfellasdad]

Great that you have found the missing stages of Rockies life, so sad that he has had so many homes.... look after the young man, he deserves some stability and love.

 

[LordTriggs]

looks like you've become institutionalized!

 

[EllenD]

Hey, don't you at all feel guilty for "sending him away too"...What you need to focus-on is that you are the only family he's ever had that came right back for him and brought him back home...

 

[Siobhan]

Our friend contacted Rocky's previous family (the good one, not one of the bad ones) and the man told him definitely that Rocky is 8, not 9. He loved him and had to give him up, because of health issues that were life-threatening for a time, and forced a long hospital stay, and there was no one to look after Rocky while he was in the hospital. He'd like to have Rocky back. (Too bad, LOL). He was apparently the one who provided the nice cage and NOT the one who dented it by throwing something heavy at it; that was one of the two bad homes. I can understand that he was in a bind and didn't have time to search for the best possible placement for Rocky, but knowing the couple that had him (Bad Home #1), I wouldn't give them a plush toy I liked, never mind a living creature. And they passed him off to an equally awful situation in Bad Home #2 where, to be fair, one member of the household did try to be kind, but the rest were horrid, and they fed him some awful wild bird mix that I wouldn't give my wild bird flock much less a parrot. I tossed it immediately upon getting him home and bought good food for him, which he has devoured daily ever since.

I'd be willing to give the good home guy an update on how Rocky's doing and send him photos, but he is NOT getting Rocky back. We just wanted information. We've been his family since April 2015, when he was 5. We thought he was at least 15 then, and actually figured he was much older than that. I wish we'd known his age all along. He's hardly more than a baby, really. It explains so much.

 

[Scott]

Rocky is a keeper, but would be nice to periodically update the "good guy." Nice to see he is young and has decades of love ahead!