Responding to posters wanting information about bird adoption..............

[mtdoramike]

There are folks who join the forums who are looking for information on adopting a bird such as a macaw or large bird who has no previous bird experince. When I respond to one of these topics, I might come across as judgemental, or a little harsh. This is not my or anyone elses intent. My intent is to try and educate the poster and REALLY make them think about what they are getting themselves into. My main concern isn't for them, but for the bird, who has no option or say so in the deal. The bird is stuck with which ever decision is made.

When I give advice solicited or not, I fall back into a parental mode. When my daughter was growing up. She would want things all the time that I didn't feel were in her best interest. Like a $150.00 pair of sneakers. I could have caved and bought them for her, but she would have probably been beaten up and her shoes stolen off of her feet. So these posts remind of those times. If I had caved in those situations, I feel that I would have been failing as a parent and I feel the same way with these types of posts.

Just like when someone asks about birds that aren't nippy or bitey. I could put down like I see a lot of where folks say Oh, my birds never bite me. But I know my birds can and do bite. Sometimes it's not that bad or they get startled or they are moody and they have just been so sweet the past few days, I forgot all about Mac biting my finger to the bone and drawing blood because he got irratated that my wife was removing a toy ffrom his cage to be cleaned. I also tend to forget Tiki nailing me on the hand to the point that it brought tears to my eyes because she saw me playing with Mac and I didn't allow enough time to elapse before picking her up.

My point is, if you log onto the forums and ask for the bare bones truth about owning a bird, don't expect me to sugar coat it and tell you that it's all roses and sunshine. You will get the thorns sometimes and a little sun burned and it's usually when you least expect it. Bird ownership is a HUGE responsibility that most people aren't ready for. They are time and life consuming, will totally destroy any resemblance of a normal life. Try taking a weeks vacation and find someone who is not only willing but who you totally trust your birds with. That is a constant battle and I have had to cancel more than one trip due to this.

So my main concern is for the welfare of the animal and to make completely sure that the poster understands the commitment they are about to undertake.

 

[Mayden]

Well said.

 

[sssaucey]

Totally agree, too many times people ask for the truth and than become rude when they are given it. Also were not having face to face conversations it doesn't take much to see good advice and turn it into a condescending remark.

Seems to be a common occurrence lately in the macaw section, everyone's here to learn more and help others through their mistakes and trials, I would much rather get a completely honest answer than possibly harm my fid.

 

[Mare Miller]

I have to admit that I did kinda take offense when you told me I should find a new home for Amigo when thinking about castrating him. Hormonal birds are hard to live with so we can fantasize right?

 

[Pedro]

Well said Mike. I agree new owners need to be aware of all the dangers & the rewards of owning a companion parrot. I see first hand the apprehension of a new owner handling a Eclectus for the first time. I warn them in advance that i will correct anything at all they do to make my babies feel uncomfortable & if they can't accept a little friendly criticism well they are not going to listen to any of my advice so I have to think whether or not there home would be a good home for one of my babies. In rare cases i will refuse to sell to a person that will show no interrest in the birds welfare.

 

[lene1949]

I agree... I think at least a potential owner needs to know that birds sleep in trees and not in beds...

 

[wenz2712]

Very well put Mike

 

[mtdoramike]

I have to admit that I did kinda take offense when you told me I should find a new home for Amigo when thinking about castrating him. Hormonal birds are hard to live with so we can fantasize right?

Sorry about that, but I believe in doing whats best for the animal, no matter how I feel about.

Example: I had received a Cockatiel years ago and although she seemed friendly enough towards me, but every time my brother stopped by to see
me, that bird would go nuts. She would start bouncing up and down, twisting around, screaming until my brother showed her attention. This went on for a couple of weeks until I finally realized that I was no match for my brother. So I gave the bird to my brother.

when ever I would go and see my brother, the bird never acted that way, although she was friendly enough. So I knew that I had made the right decision. Now, I kind of knew when I saw how she acted when my brother stopped by right after I had gotten her. But I ignored it and thought to myself, she'll come around and feel that same way towards me eventually. But I knew deep down it wasn't going to happen and what I needed to do and did it.

MIke

 

[Spiritbird]

When it comes to a birds or any other animals welfare we need to speak the raw truth and nothing but. There is an old saying that is appropriate "The Truth Hurts".

 

[Enjru]

Mike, I have difficulty responding to some of the posts complaining about the parrot not wanting to be cuddled anymore: "Boohoo! Waa Waa! My parrot isn't being the snuggle bunny that I bought him/her for! Sniff sniff..."

What I have sometimes wanted to say, is that I saw K Mart (is there a K Mart in the US?) now has full-sized body-length pillows where, on the packaging, there is a picture of a woman mounted over one of these full-sized body-length pillows with her legs straddling over one of them, so I wanted to say, maybe go and get one of these things to snuggle up to. BUT, I thought, this would be a bit harsh, even for me, so do you have any advice about how to tell these people that we, as fellow parronts, should be primarily interested in what's good for the parrot and what the parrot wants and needs, and only interested in what the humans want IF what the humans want ALSO fit in with what's good for the parrot?

Thanks!

 

[mtdoramike]

Mike, I have difficulty responding to some of the posts complaining about the parrot not wanting to be cuddled anymore: "Boohoo! Waa Waa! My parrot isn't being the snuggle bunny that I bought him/her for! Sniff sniff..."

What I have sometimes wanted to say, is that I saw K Mart (is there a K Mart in the US?) now has full-sized body-length pillows where, on the packaging, there is a picture of a woman mounted over one of these full-sized body-length pillows with her legs straddling over one of them, so I wanted to say, maybe go and get one of these things to snuggle up to. BUT, I thought, this would be a bit harsh, even for me, so do you have any advice about how to tell these people that we, as fellow parronts, should be primarily interested in what's good for the parrot and what the parrot wants and needs, and only interested in what the humans want IF what the humans want ALSO fit in with what's good for the parrot?

Thanks!

I know what you mean, people tend to be thinned skinned when it's not what they want to hear. I still believe in being blunt and honest even if it means someone may get a little offended at first. I would rather be brutally honest up front and then ask for forgiveness later as long as it may make a person stop and really think about what they are or about to do. Like my grandmother used to say, "it's better to shoot from the hip some times that it is to slowly take aim."

If folks are looking for a cuddle bug, then GET A DOG!

 

[HalfInsane]

I know what you mean, people tend to be thinned skinned when it's not what they want to hear. I still believe in being blunt and honest even if it means someone may get a little offended at first. I would rather be brutally honest up front and then ask for forgiveness later as long as it may make a person stop and really think about what they are or about to do. Like my grandmother used to say, "it's better to shoot from the hip some times that it is to slowly take aim."

If folks are looking for a cuddle bug, then GET A DOG!

I'd take it one step lower and say get a stuffed animal. Dogs may be easier than birds, but there are some people who shouldn't have ANYTHING alive in their care.

 

[RescueMe]

I agree that honesty is important, but there are different ways to approach it. I think that as an animal enthusiast it is best to explain in a way that people can find approachable. This way everyone wins, the birds, the owners, and the rest of us. That being said some people are just difficult and it makes you question why they sought out other opinions when they clearly "know" everything already. Before typing ask yourself how willing you would be to listen to the advice you are typing. I thank everyone for the time and advice that is offered here, not everyone can understand the choice of bird stewardship.

 

[Mare Miller]

I have to admit that I did kinda take offense when you told me I should find a new home for Amigo when thinking about castrating him. Hormonal birds are hard to live with so we can fantasize right?

Sorry about that, but I believe in doing whats best for the animal, no matter how I feel about.

Example: I had received a Cockatiel years ago and although she seemed friendly enough towards me, but every time my brother stopped by to see
me, that bird would go nuts. She would start bouncing up and down, twisting around, screaming until my brother showed her attention. This went on for a couple of weeks until I finally realized that I was no match for my brother. So I gave the bird to my brother.

when ever I would go and see my brother, the bird never acted that way, although she was friendly enough. So I knew that I had made the right decision. Now, I kind of knew when I saw how she acted when my brother stopped by right after I had gotten her. But I ignored it and thought to myself, she'll come around and feel that same way towards me eventually. But I knew deep down it wasn't going to happen and what I needed to do and did it.

MIke

Amigo was a fluke in my life. Wasn't looking for a bird, never had one, never thought of wanting one, he just happened because someone needed help. I wouldn't change one minute of my experience with him.

When you say you were thinking about what would be best for my bird...do think that finding him a new home would be best? I don't think so. If I found someone that could give Amigo a better life than he has with us,,,I would hand him over, freely.

 

[QuackQuack]

I definitely need to be less nostalgic when I tell people what owning a bird is like. I'm like a parent so proud of her child. Also, when they learn the truth, they know I'm nuts ha-ha!

 

[Spiritbird]

I am afraid there will always be impulse buyers of parrots. Anything we can do to education them should help. I always feel so sorry for the bird that goes to a home where the human has no idea of how to care for the bird. By educating these type of people we are only helping the bird.

 

[lizardsmells]

I know I can come off as abrasive when it comes to animal rescue/welfare, but I just don't care how much I might hurt someone's feelings. The idea of an animal is often way more attractive than the reality. If I have to hurt someone's feelings to make them understand what they're getting into, then so be it.

No one in their right mind would hand over a 2 year old child to someone without really making sure they were going to a good home, so why is it ok to hand over an animal with the same, or higher, intelligence to anyone with enough money? I know I've discouraged potential volunteers/adoptees at the shelter before but when you walk in and the first words out of your mouth are, "I want a big, colorful bird that talks," you're going to get an earful whether you like it or not. I'm not purposefully rude or mean, but I don't sugar coat it either.

 

[caliopi]

When I was finally ready for a parrot I had made my mind up, I was going to get the top of the shop, a macaw! Luckily for that parrot I stumbled upon a forum like here and did some research and very quickly realised a Macaw was not for me, not now at any rate.

Funnily enough Mike there were quite a few Macaw owners who encouraged me in my endeavour and wished me well with my new bird. There was only one person who told me I should try my hand at a smaller parrot first and that I didn't know anywhere near enough about Macaws to have one but in time if I heeded their advice I could be a very good parent to a macaw.I am so glad that it was that advice I took.
Sadly I had two pet shops that also tried to convince me their macaws would be perfect for me and it was then I knew I needed to get my parrot from a breeder and not a pet shop who would have gladly sold me a macaw, someone with no bird experience at all let alone a macaw! They were only interested in a sale and not the future happiness and care of the birds they sold.

Well done Mike.

 

[caliopi]

Well said Mike. I agree new owners need to be aware of all the dangers & the rewards of owning a companion parrot. I see first hand the apprehension of a new owner handling a Eclectus for the first time. I warn them in advance that i will correct anything at all they do to make my babies feel uncomfortable & if they can't accept a little friendly criticism well they are not going to listen to any of my advice so I have to think whether or not there home would be a good home for one of my babies. In rare cases i will refuse to sell to a person that will show no interrest in the birds welfare.

Pedro what state are you in? I am thinking of getting a female looking at breeders in our area?

 

[Cliffordsmom]

There is a BIG difference between being blunt and degrating someone for the way that they feel.
Most everyone observes that line and does not cross it, there are a few however who do not care what they say.
All I can say is that if someone takes offense to the advice you give them and you think your advice was honest and to the point, that is all you can do. however, if you include things or phrases in your post that can reach out to someone on a personal level like making fun of them or talking down to them maybe you should think about rephrasing your advice or just not giving it all together.
I have seen some posts that are questionable. the bird owner is obviously under some stress if they are having a problem telling them to "go cry to someone else about it" or making waaaa wa waaaa noises is not going to come across as nice or helpful for that matter.
No one has ever been ugly or negative to me, but I have readd things that should not have been said.
Of course we are all entitled to our own opinions.....