Relationship with cockatiel getting worse, not sure where to go ftrom here.

[Spectre]

Hello everyone, I've joined this forum today to ask for some help regarding my cockatiel Ollie, who is about 12 months old.

I have had Ollie for 10 months and got him from a local breeder who sells hand-tamed babies. When I got him he was very sweet if cautious (he has a very nervous personality, it's been hard to get him to eat veggies and the like, and he jumps whenever the house contacts or a car drives past).

Anyway, our relationship started out good but has gradually gotten worse over the last few months. He nipped me on the neck once and I brushed him off (not meaning to, it was an unconscious thing) and after that thins started to go downhill. but I've tried my best to be accommodating.

For a while he just didn't like me putting my hand in his cage, so I've taken to just opening it letting him come out on his own, which he always usually does after a few minutes. In the last few months he's started to attack my left hand (but cuddles up to my right hand when it's on my mouse, since I'm usually on the computer). It's made life hard since it's reduced what I can do (cant type with him out).

I figured that was fine, but the last few weeks there has been even more of a decline. I don't really understand why, we where making progress (I was able to put my hand into his cage and get him to step up again) and then one morning he was just very agitated and didn't want to come out of his cage that day. Ever since, he's been more aggressive toward my hand and is starting to fly up and have a go at my face.

I've tried ignoring his biting as best I can, but he's quite persistent and it's hurts a lot, so it's hard to avoid twitching my hand after a while (which is what tends to prompt him to go for my face). I've also tried feeding him noodles (he likes them alot) and he'll take them from my hand, I was hoping to make him associate my hand with good things, but nothing really has seemed to work.

All things considered, I don't really understand what he's thinking. He clearly wants to be with me, he'll fly to me if I try to move away and when he's in his cage (rare when I'm home unless I'm going in and out of the house) he'll sit at the front and make 'I want to come out" peeps at me, so I don't think he hates me necesarilly.

Anyway, I'm really worried about him. I'm not in the best mental health and I've been really anxious about this of late, losing sleep over it and the like. I really just want him to be happy, but I don't know what I should do.

 

[T00tsyd]

I don't have a cockatiel but a lot of what you describe seems pretty normal to me. Your little one is finding his feet so you need to give him his boundaries. Lots of birds become protective/possessive of their cages hence the agitation and biting. It's his safe space and is fairly normal until your bond is very strong, and even then he might always have that reaction. Every bird is different. I would go back to basics. He should not bite you and must learn that it's not acceptable. There are many really knowledgeable people here and I am sure they will come along shortly so hang in there.
My first recommendation is that you don't allow any of the situations where he bites. Use a piece of perch instead of your hands to move him around. Keep talking to him in his cage and offer treats with both hands until he is confident again. If he bites then as quickly as you can put him away from you and ignore him for a while, on the floor or in his cage. In his cage for me would be for 20 mins. Syd went through a spell of biting at puberty at 2yrs and I thought it would never end, but it did with some advice from here. I wore gloves a hat and scarf to protect myself for a while. It will pass but wait for experienced advice. Don't lose heart - you are in the right place.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Here are some readings which we like to offer to new folks...
Good for you for reaching out!

http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/49144-tips-bonding-building-trust.html
General Parrot Information - Parrot Forum - Parrot Owner's Community
http://goodbirdinc.blogspot.com/2012...n-parrots.html

 

[noodles123]

On top of what they said, cockatiels are able to breed at 12 months (sexually mature around 15) which means you are now dealing with a teenager and hormones, as opposed to a sweet baby. Just like babies are nice to everyone, baby birds behave in a similar way.

Build trust, don't push physical contact and associate yourself with low-stress/positive things.

Also, no hammocks/tents/shadowy in the cage (no access outside the cage either---exp under furniture etc)---these can amplify hormones.

 

[Laurasea]

https://lafeber.com/pet-birds/bird-behavior/
Dealing With Biting

People will tell you that birds don’t bite in the wild. Well, they don’t usually bite successfully in the wild, but they will snap at each other if it becomes necessary, for example, if one bird invades another’s nest or territory. Birds do bite a lot more in captivity, usually because their boundaries are being pushed too far. All birds have a threshold of what they can handle before they lash out with a bite. There are other good reasons for a bird to bite as well. Here are some details about birds that bite:

Rule #1 The first rule in teaching a bird not to bite is not to get bitten. When a bird bites, he usually gets what he wants from the action — you will go away and leave him alone. You will also make a big fuss over the bite, which can be attractive to the bird, an animal that loves drama. Rather than reinforce the behavior, just don’t let it happen. Learn to “read” your bird so that you can assess the situation and get out before the bite happens.
Fear Biting You can hardly blame a bird that bites out of fear, even if the fear is unfounded. Look at the world from your bird’s perspective and try not to put him in situations that will frighten him.
Hormonal Biting In the spring when the days get longer, some birds are prompted into breeding mode and may become territorial of their housing area, of another bird, or of a person in the household. This can usually be dealt with by adjusting the amount of light the bird gets a day to less than 12 hours.
Jealousy Biting Sometimes, a bird will love his person so much, and then suddenly chomp down on him or her when someone else comes into the room. This actually has practical application in nature, although it is unpleasant. In the wild, a member of a pair will shoo away their beloved when another bird, a threat to the pair, flies into the territory. The “jealous” bird is simply protecting their mate and their relationship. If you know that your bird does this, make sure that you can put him down before someone comes into the room, and don’t ever allow this bird to ride on your shoulder.
Molting Some birds become irritable when they are molting and may not be feeling 100 percent. The same goes for birds that are ill or injured.
Counteractive Biting Some birds bite to prevent you from performing or not performing an action, for example a bird that bites when being brought back to the cage because he doesn’t want to be locked in. As an aside, some birds that don’t like to be put back into the cage pretend that they have wobbly legs and that they can’t stand up just as you put them away — what a great tactic for not stepping onto a perch! To prevent “put away” biting, don’t put your bird away every time you pick him up. Instead, do something fun, or play a little game before you put your bird away; mix it up so that the bird isn’t sure what’s coming next, and make it fun!

To sum up that article above. Territory, have him come out if the cage before you do anything with the cage or him. If he is biting you when he see other people, or pets. Then anticipate that and move him to a perch on a chair or something. Pay attention to his body language and crest.

Give him some small object ( monster) out in the bottom of his cage , that he can take his agression out on I've heard this works for some.

Spend more time with him. Work on in home recall flight, simple tricks, and just time paying attention to him. Add more easy to destroy toys, shredding stuff.

 

[Flboy]

Read and reread this!
http://www.parrotforums.com/training/57935-brainstorming-biting-parrots.html

 

[Laurasea]

There's no such thing as a mean bird. There are, however, birds that are fearful and those with emotional problems that cause them to want to avoid being handled. When one of these birds finds itself in a situation as a pet, it can be problematic for both bird and owner, possibly leading to bird aggression. Fortunately, you can train your bird to enjoy the time spent with you.
Excerpt above from this article. https://www.thesprucepets.com/training-aggressive-birds-390281

 

[Flboy]

Something I wanted to add for others. This is one very good reason for looking at rescuing mature birds! Their teenager years are much harder for them than it is for you! That rebellion is programmed into all of us for a reason!

Spectre, this will pass! Give your little one space and don’t ruin your relationship! This reminds me of what JoJo and I go through every time I get a haircut! Every four months I get a military grade buzz! For a day or two, JoJo is sure someone has replaced me and it is his duty to kill him! I treat him the same, but! No hands, no walking by him when he is out! I don’t ignore the blood draws or attacks, I divert him, and don’t take it personal! I have come to realize, he is really a biologist! There are sound reasons for blood draws! A simple nip? "Yes, tastes like David." Still unsure? "Sorry, I need a sample for a DNA test!"

Never discipline your little one negatively! You have a shrunken Cockatoo, with all of the inherent emotions! As I said, you don’t want to ruin the relationship, or create negative behaviors! Do some searching on MonicaMC and hormones.
And as said by a good friend, "It is NEVER the bird’s fault!"

I so forgot this point! 1000% right! A terrified parrot has only one option, aggression!
Thank you, Laurasea!
"There's no such thing as a mean bird. There are, however, birds that are fearful and those with emotional problems that cause them to want to avoid being handled. When one of these birds finds itself in a situation as a pet, it can be problematic for both bird and owner, possibly leading to bird aggression. Fortunately, you can train your bird to enjoy the time spent with you."

 

[Smerft85]

There's no such thing as a mean bird.

You have not been a male trying to touch my wife's Amazon!

That may also be some of the issue, if your bird had a chance to bond to a male and you happen to be female without a male in the home it may just be preference in the bird, most of our birds seem to prefer me over my wife, but there are exceptions.

Our budgies are dad's owners along with the cockatiels, our male indian ringneck prefers me, the female prefers my wife, and all of those birds can be handled by both of us without any issues, our Amazon however will not let me touch him because I'm a man, that's the only reason too. I can feed him peanuts and such from my fingers without getting bit, I can talk to him all day long, he will talk and whistle back to me and on his own terms will sometimes step up onto my arm if I talk him into it with a treat. He will stand on my arm, eat his treat, then step down and waddle over to my wife. I can't pet him period unless I sneak in petting a toe before he can get me.

Hormones can also be a huge factor, but where their bond lies could also be partially responsible for how bad their hormones can affect their attitude. Be patient, I'm sure your bond will come back in time.

 

[SailBoat]

I am very sorry for what you are experiencing!!!

The small joy is that the wonderful advice you have received above will result in Your Changing Your Vantage Point in your relationship with your Parrot! And, as a result, you will understand that you are commonly the result of the change in your relationship with your Parrot.

A 101 Parrot Basic:
It (whatever) is never the fault of the Parrot!
It is Always the fault of the Human!
Change your vantage point to this understanding and you will be surprised just how quickly you will find what you are doing wrong and correct it!!!!

The joy for me is just how kind and with humor my fellow members have provided you such wonderful advice. I am so very proud to be a Member of Parrot Forum.

On a side note, you will be surprised at just how well this change in Vantage Point works with the wide cross-section of relationships you have...

 

[Jottlebot]

Just to add to what has been said, I wonder whether you need to think about how much time he is out of the cage for. I know it is not unusual for people to have the belief of "the more the merrier" where out of cage time is concerned, but I would say it is quality not quantity. Maybe he's a bit bored when he's out and you're busy? This might encourage him to do something that gets a response from you aka biting... I would start training him, give him foraging toys in and outside his cage. Maybe less time with access to you, but more interaction with you could help?

 

[Melscamp]

It's not all about the bird, it's about you too. I've lost sleep over so many things. It's a downward spiral propelling and spinning the situation it off control. Mindfulness, mediation, deep breathing, clearing the mind of the 'what ifs' are things I use. If you have other coping tactics, use them and take care of you. A momma can not grow a baby with sour milk, nurture yourself and your birdie will improve too.