Really need to vent :(

[blstandifer]

When we took Lilly we were told she belonged to a lady who fell ill and needed to rehome her. The ladies cleaning lady was keeping her and finding her a home.

I learned today from a very unexpected source that it was true but there was more to the story...:21_irked:

Lilly had actually bitten the previous owners ear in half. Then she was taken from her home by the cleaning lady who ONE WEEK later became homeless and moved in with friends ... It is unknown if she was homeless before moving in with her friends or if she was staying here and there after taking Lilly.. No clue where Lilly was during this week.

In addition to this, I was also told Lilly liked to hide under blankets.. this was confusing for me because since being here the only time Lilly showed aggression toward me was over a blanket. I just thought that she didn't want me having HER blanket.. WRONG!!! :smile010:Lilly was forced to be covered up with a blanket when she was "bad". and if Lilly was out of the cage and did something they thought was wrong BAM she had a blanket thrown on her. SURPRISE NEW OWNER SHE IS FRIGHTENED OF THE BLANKETS YOU ARE TRYING TO CALMY GIVE TO HER :22_yikes:


I have no clue how many homes Lilly has actually had, but here is what I do know...

• Lilly bit her owners ear badly, why was she on her shoulder... who knows
• why did she bite.. who knows
• was there a reason.. YES!
• Did the owner keep her and work through the issues.. NO

Because of this...
In the past 5 weeks Lilly has been in 4 different homes
The lady who took her from her first home harassed her
Lilly was forced to be covered if she "misbehaved"
She was fed nothing but JUNK FOOD
She's never had boundaries and was allowed to do as she pleased

Most importantly...
I was not told any of this

Do I regret getting Lilly.. .NEVER
and Lilly will have a FOREVER home here with me. Of course she will have BOUNDARIES and RULES but she will be loved and she will know she is loved. She will have a HEALTHY diet and lots of attention and love. If I get bit on the ear.. then I will know I shouldn't have had her so close to my face. If she misbehaves she will NOT have a blanket thrown on her, she will get her warnings and if she still misbehaves she will be taken CALMLY to her cage.

Why do people act like they have no brains at all in their heads? First off Lilly should have been kept in her home and worked with and loved.. there had to have been something that caused her to bite like that. If your kid bites you do you give them away? Grrrr :headwall:
Okay I'll stop on that.

 

[Karigan]

Ouch... It's hard learning things after the fact. Similarly, I had a friend who adopted a little girl, only to find out later that "By the way, she has fetal alcohol syndrome". You can imagine there were some unexpected challenges there. People should always be upfront with information; the people taking a bird or even a human might be amateurs and unable to cope.

Koodos to you for sticking with your new charge!

 

[BillsBirds]

Having taken in many birds from questionable, or unknown, backgrounds, I know what you mean. I have learned to watch any new birds carefully, because rarely do you get either the whole story or the truth. Each bird is a new learning experience, as to it's likes, dislikes, fears, loves, habits, etc. Even though our new friends can talk, they can never tell you their history, in so many words. Their actions will clue you in better than any other means (ie, the blanket fiasco). I agree with you 100%, but, this is the crux of rescue work. We are like detectives unravelling the clues to our feathered friends lives and behavior. Focus on how you have already improved this angels life, and will continue to do so, as you both learn from each other.

 

[blstandifer]

What makes me so angry is being lied to about the blanket .. this could have been holding me and her back so much. She has tried bonding with me all week and this blanket thing keeps causing set backs.

I am lucky that I had the chance to find out the truth.. or as much as she knew.. I know that some people don't ever know...

I belonged to a group on facebook about parrots. Well I was suddenly removed from the group and blocked from the group entirely and from the owners private page so I couldn't ask why.
Well this lady I've never met emailed me and told me that the owner of the group was the lady I got Lilly from. Then proceeded to tell me the entire story of Lilly. After looking at her photos I recognized her home and knew she was being honest with me.

But I would have still taken Lilly even if she would have told me about the ear.. I mean anyone alive who makes the decision to own a large parrot knows the risks of being bitten... and 98% of owners of large birds have scars to prove this fact. It just comes with it.. my way of thinking is that you have to accept the bite if you want to accept the bird because eventually it will happen..even if its just once..

But why lie?

 

[Karigan]

About the blanket, I guess they didn't see it as important.

The bite? I'd guess they were afraid that you wouldn't want an agressive bird. They wanted the bird out and/or your money. Either that or they thought that if you didn't know and found out later, you'd be so attached to Lilly that you wouldn't want to be rid of her. It's just mind games that cause set backs. Sigh.

 

[mtdoramike]

This reminds me of someone trying to sell a used car and wanting to maximize their profit by cleaning up the car and concealing any defects.

That is the reason, I would never sell a pet. If forced to rehome a pet, it would be for free so that way, there would be full disclosure and noone could come back later and accuse me of withholding information. There would be no need to.

 

[Jtbirds]

taking in birds just like you have i completely understand what you mean. getting half the story never helps the bird we need to full story and the real one. if that means the story is horrible then so be it they are with us now, but we need to know the history as true as possible.. im so glad your not changing your mind on lilly she really needs you and i doubt she will act towards you as she did to other owners. your doing so great with her and havent made a wrong decision at all.

 

[critterman]

blstandifer congradulations on your new addition to your family and THANK YOU for rescuing this poor bird. I also rescued a Crimson bellied conure 2 weeks ago from a (?) breeder. He (Ziggy) is only 4 1/2 months old. When this woman had him he got his leg caught in the bars of his cage by his leg band and he broke his leg in 2-3 places trying to free himself. She told me that when I got him, but she said she took him to a vet who was not a aviary vet and the regular vet just taped his leg and never x-rayed it to see how bad the break was because the lady didn't want to spend the money for x-rays. The tape came off or was removed a week later and the lady never took him to a avian vet so the leg healed back very deformed and almost completely non-functional. It made me mad also she lied and denied this poor little creature the proper timely care he needed. She sold him to me because she wanted to get another one for breeding. She wouldn't tell me who the original breeder was or the name of the vet she took him to supposely. It makes me wonder if she took him at all. She promised to provide me with vet papers but never did and gave me the name of a vet who when I called said they knew no one by her name or her breeding company name or her address or by the birds name. When you rescue you NEVER get the truth or the full story again because they are afraid you won't buy the bird. WRONG! When I saw this little fellow my heart broke and I had to buy him just to rescue him and get him out of there. We went to my avian vet within the first week I had him and x-rays were done and it is healing grossly wrong and it can not be repaired surigically because of the multiple fractures. The only alternative is for him to live with it or amputation. This bird and the cost I paid for him, the vet bills (which are far from over with) the new cage, toys and things have already cost a little over a thousand dollars so far and we still have a lot more vet visits and surgery a head of us. So long story short I know what you mean and I understand. We both will have to work hard and be patient with our new little friends who have been neglected and suffered so much already. I know you will win your new babies heart over and all will work out in time. Good luck and again thanks for rescuing it.

 

[Kiwibird]

Poor Lilly, she looks like an absolute sweetheart who certainly didn't deserve the kind of treatment she received. It is the most infuriating thing in the world to know an animal was abused as someone who genuinely cares about them because you can't explain to a bird there are bad people in the world and that he/she is safe now. It takes a long time to regain the trust that was broken, and some birds never fully "get over it". I wish there was some kind of permit required to own parrots (after passing a competency test) to weed out those who do not understand or accept the fact they behave differently than other pets. From the little info our BFA Kiwi came with, it does not sound as though he was ever properly cared for in his 10+ years on this earth before we got him. He was such an angry and frightened bird, and it's taken 5 years of patience and dedication to even get to the point he will sit on my leg (this has just been in the past few months he's been initiating some friendlier behavior). You can see it in some of his behaviors he could have been a big love sponge and a very intelligent bird had he been nurtured instead of neglected in his early years. Sadly, I'm not sure we will ever be able to completely reverse whatever happened to him that makes him so uncomfortable with people, but we still love him and appreciate him for the special little creature he is I'm glad someone contacted you to explain the full story on what happened to Lilly. That will make your bonding process with her so much easier to actually know what things happened to her that she interprets as abuse so you can avoid them (especially the blanket thing, since a lot of parrots genuinely do enjoy playing under blankets). I wish we had some idea of what poor Kiwi experienced (besides living in a cat crate and probably not being allowed out often/if at all). Anyways, I hope you can now move forward with your beautiful lady, and remember, patience is a virtue with parrots.

Wanted to add, Kiwi actually bit my nose pretty badly a few weeks back. I wasn't upset with him, and it certainly didn't cross my mind to get rid of him. I know I'm tempting fate when I CHOOSE to give him kisses and allow him near my face. Many parrot owners won't, but we share a special bond with the kisses. I give him millions of kisses all the time, and have only been bitten 2 or 3 times, so to me, it's worth it to keep that bond. I know any time I give him a kiss, he has the potential to bite and I can't blame the dumb bird for my choice as the intelligent human.

 

[blstandifer]

OKay first off sorry if this is long...

A complete stranger contacted me on facebook and told me she knew Lilly's first owner that I was told was sick and couldn't have lilly any more (the first story I was told). I called her and spoke to her myself over the phone and here is Lilly's REAL story...


An old lady had Lilly since a baby, the lady passed away and Lilly went to another family member. That family member was a bit scared of Lilly so she rehomed her with what she thought was a trusted friend (the one I got lilly from). The family was upset over this and they tried to get Lilly back but was told NO.... and the so called friend sold Lilly to make money...
The lady was very upset and her and I have made plans for her to come visit Lilly. She does NOT want Lilly back she is really happy we love Lilly so much...and she thanked me many times over for going and getting Lilly

I was completely lied to about EVERYTHING with Lilly, as was Lilly's original family

Lilly DID NOT bite anyones ear in half, that was a lie. But she did bite the lady who I bought her from because she was hitting her with a spoon and smothering her with a blanket. OF COURSE SHE BITE HER.. I would have ripped her finger off

Lilly's original family member told me that Lilly loves blankets (or she use to) she loves showers she don't bite but has pinched before, she don't like kids (I already found this out) she loves to sing she loves to help you clean up her "poo" on the floor, she HATES seeds and is use to being cooked for and told me that Lilly is refusing her veggies because they are not on a plate which she is use to eating from. Lilly loves to help you fold laundry and will pick up clothes and hand them to you so you can fold them... there is so much I learned about her.

I put this lady on speaker phone and she sang to Lilly and Lilly reacted to her voice and sang back to the phone. and said I love you

I feel so much better now like a huge weight lifted off of me. I know that I did the right thing by contacting this woman and letting her know Lilly is okay. I am also very thankful she is okay with me keeping Lilly in my home. She will get to visit Lilly and she shared her information so that if I struggle with Lilly I can call them and they can help me figure the issue out and solve it.

My only thoughts on my experience is this...

I am not upset I was taken advantage of financially because Lilly is worth every penny I paid for her.
I am upset this woman did such an awful thing to this other family
It is a shame that people do things like this and lie and cheat and steal and cause so much drama for other people.

 

[BillsBirds]

You're very lucky to have found someone from Lilly's past that can help with her. That very rarely happens. I'm so happy for the both of you.

 

[Kiwibird]

Grrr.... Reading the "full" story REALLY makes me mad. I wish I could take that woman and smother her with a blanket and smack her with a spoon and see how she likes it. Lilly is a very good bird for not removing a finger or a bigger chunk of flesh than she did. I surely would have done as much damage as I could if I were being treated like that. I'm glad to hear though the original owner was loving, and that Lilly only spent a short time being abused. Hopefully, she didn't completely loose her trust in humans after a short time in a bad situation. Also glad to hear her original family is willing to let you keep her since she is actually happy with you! You'll have to take some pics of her helping with the laundry, that sounds so cute!

 

[blstandifer]

I am planning on lots of pictures. This makes me feel so much more confident with Lilly. All the aggression about blankets and certain objects is explained more. I can't wait to meet this woman and let her/Lilly play again. She is older and Lilly has been in that family since she was a baby. She must have been so frightened and confused when she came here.

I've been thinking all this time Lilly was trying to attack my feet and bite me when she was only trying to play the way her owners use to play with her.
As for the laundry they told me that Lilly would pick up clothes and put in the dryer too LOL

 

[blstandifer]

OH and the reason Lilly continues to shred the paper in the bottom of her cage is because she is using it to clean her poo. If you keep a paper towel roll on top of her cage she will go get one.. rip it off. then clean up her own poop.

believe me I WILL get this one on video and I am dying to see this one for myself.

 

[ivysaur]

OH and the reason Lilly continues to shred the paper in the bottom of her cage is because she is using it to clean her poo. If you keep a paper towel roll on top of her cage she will go get one.. rip it off. then clean up her own poop.

believe me I WILL get this one on video and I am dying to see this one for myself.

I DEFINITELY need to see a video of this!!! Cutest thing ever!