Please help

[Macbeth]

Hello everyone,


I recently got a female parrot around 2 months ago, shes young around four months now. I am at risk of bird fancier disease as i have other underlying conditions. When i brought her here i did notice that she excaberated my symptoms. Now i do everything for her, i clean the cage everyday, change food water etc. She stays with me most of the time. The problem is i am now weighing up whether it is better to rehome her. I know this is very hard on birds, and im trying my best not to so i decided to post here. When she is with me she is docile to an extent, she still bites (not play bites that babies do she just gets angry i can tell from her head's raised feathers), and the bite draws blood, sometimes it comes out of nowhere but most of the time i think shes being territorial of what she thinks are hers?


But i have a bigger problem. I live with others in my household. Now she is very attached to another person. When she sees them she would fly off to them, they do handle her and i cant refuse that for personal reasons. It breaks my heart when i see her trying to look out for them, reaches out her neck when she hears their voice, but never does the same when shes with them and sees me. I do want a bird that is attached to me. At this point in time i read that birds are one person birds, is this helpless and she will forever like them? Is she getting bored of me because i spend too much time with her? I try to let her out of the cage most of the time. I feel like i am sacrificing my health, effort and time and we're just not bonding. I do handle her, cuddle her but she just changes when the other person is there.



What should i do, please help?

 

[T00tsyd]

Hello everyone,


I recently got a female parrot around 2 months ago, shes young around four months now. I am at risk of bird fancier disease as i have other underlying conditions. When i brought her here i did notice that she excaberated my symptoms. Now i do everything for her, i clean the cage everyday, change food water etc. She stays with me most of the time. The problem is i am now weighing up whether it is better to rehome her. I know this is very hard on birds, and im trying my best not to so i decided to post here. When she is with me she is docile to an extent, she still bites (not play bites that babies do she just gets angry i can tell from her head's raised feathers), and the bite draws blood, sometimes it comes out of nowhere but most of the time i think shes being territorial of what she thinks are hers?


But i have a bigger problem. I live with others in my household. Now she is very attached to another person. When she sees them she would fly off to them, they do handle her and i cant refuse that for personal reasons. It breaks my heart when i see her trying to look out for them, reaches out her neck when she hears their voice, but never does the same when shes with them and sees me. I do want a bird that is attached to me. At this point in time i read that birds are one person birds, is this helpless and she will forever like them? Is she getting bored of me because i spend too much time with her? I try to let her out of the cage most of the time. I feel like i am sacrificing my health, effort and time and we're just not bonding. I do handle her, cuddle her but she just changes when the other person is there.



What should i do, please help?

I feel so sorry for you in your disappointment. You have come to the right place there will be a lot of advice coming your way I am sure. We can't claim ownership of a bird. They choose and the advice is often to choose a parrot that comes to you. If my daughter arrives here Syd immediately gravitates to her shoulder and she is not keen on his flying around and squirms, but he is determined and I am sure given the choice he would live with her. It is just the way it is.

I am more concerned with your health. I too have conditions that made me think hard before having Syd and I chose him because he has very low dander plus I use an air filter machine quite regularly (bird safe of course) to reduce dust generally. My own experience is that the health problem is minimal but of course you must take advice in your own case.

As far as rehoming is concerned my advice is always wait. What might seem insurmountable now may well calm down as time goes by. Things that worry you now like the biting can be worked on. Syd used to draw blood regularly for a while and is a natural reaction while they are learning what is a danger and what is ok. As you settle into the relationship you will use techniques well explained on this forum which will get you through.

If you are not doing much in the way of training do have a look around here. There are plenty of threads with similar problems that will help. Syd is my first bird since childhood and I have learned so much here. It sounds as if you are actually doing very well and your little one is still very new and learning. Be patient.

 

[bug_n_flock]

What species of parrot are we talking about here?

 

[noodles123]

So, there's a lot going on here.
I agree that we need to know what type of parrot this is.


When you get any parrot, you have to go into it knowing that you may not always be their favorite- this is especially true in multi-person homes, but can even happen to individuals. It can be temporary or permanent---but there's really no way to be sure.



1. Birds change a lot at puberty, which is why knowing the species is important, because not all birds mature at the same rate.


2. Sometimes, birds will start off obessing over someone and then shift over time.


3. Sometimes birds will suddenly develop an obsession for a new/random person (like a guest or something in your home).



4. A bird can suddenly shift preferences, even after sexual maturity in some cases.




Basically, getting a parrot is like agreeing to be a care-taker, regardless of whether you are the one your bird likes the most. It's impossible to know whether your bird will ever like you as much, BUT, in these situations, time usually does improve things somewhat, but it just depends. EVEN if a bird "picks" you initially, they can still change their minds later on...My bird was OBSESSED with my now-ex boyfriend when I first adopted her as an adult. She was also jealous of me because she wanted him to herself lol. It took a few months, but then she started liking me, and eventually preferred me to him. That having been said, about 6 months later, she met my dad and he is now her favorite person whenever he is around. Initially, when he was around, she was more aggressive towards others because she had tunnel vision for him. After the novelty wore off (across repeated visits) she got to the point where she still is OBSESSED with him, but doesn't act as crazy about it.



Another example-- a place near me had a parrot in their shop. I walked in and this parrot was immediately obsessed with me-- it's 30 years old and doesn't care much for most people, from what I understand, but that bird hopped right up on me and let me preen its pin feathers on my second visit to the store (It's not a bird store lol-- they just have the bird at their business). One of the owners was like, "wow! he doesn't let me do that ever! My husband is the only one who can get him to do anything" and I'm (sadly) the first one who was ever able to help the poor guy with his pin feathers --It's a husband and wife and of the 2 of them, the husband is the preferred one, but I was just chosen at random (for whatever reason), despite their 30+ years of time with the parrot. If the 3 of us were in a room, the bird would prefer me, but I am also novel, so that probably plays into it, but when I am gone, it's not like the bird is still obsessing over me....It just defaults to the next person in the hierarchy lol (because the bird and I don't actually have much of a relationship-- I am more like an infatuation or extreme crush, I think...)If I were to live with them, I am sure that I would remain an object of interest, but I imagine that the extreme interest I receive would decrease somewhat over time (granted, I am fairly certain I would still hold more clout than some due to that initial reaction)...Kind of like my bird and my dad-- first, he was all she could see. Now, we are almost tied as far as her preference, but he still trumps me because she just likes him for whatever reason, and she doesn't see him that often, so he is still novel.


Lat example- my uncle had an african grey who LOVED him. Initially, he was the only one who could touch the bird at all..for the first few years. Then, the bird started to like my aunt a lot more, and while they never were as close as the bird and my uncle, the bird preferred my aunt 2nd to him when compared to the rest of the world. It went from hatred, to tolerance, to affection, but never on the same level as my uncle.



I'm rambling, but my point is, even if an adult bird seems to pick you, it isn't a sure bet that it won't meet someone it likes better in the future, and even that isn't necessarily going to last, but they just are who they are.


Proper socialization and trust building are huge, and in most cases, enough patience and positive associations will lead to your parrot liking you more, but you may never get the reactions that your roommate gets-- then again, it could all change...It's just the nature of living with parrots.


Although many parrots do tend to like one person more than the others, that doesn't mean they don't like anyone else. Being able to handle a bird (even if you aren't #1) is still a sign of a bond and better than a stranger could do in most cases (excluding those random times when your bird gravitates towards a specific stranger lol).


So, if you want a pet that likes you unconditionally, I would say that a dog or something would be a much safer bet. There is just no way to know for sure with a bird, so it is the risk you take when adopting one.



If your health is really suffering and this is a deal-breaker, then you could re-home, but I wouldn't get another parrot if you do, because 1. your health is reportedly suffering, and 2. you cannot know that this won't happen again.

You are right that re-homing is hard on birds, so...I hope that if you do re-home, you consider an alternative to parrots in the future...as I said before, their preferences can change without a lot of warning in some cases, and it is just something you kind of have to prepare yourself for upfront.

 

[noodles123]

Also- don't ever try to get your bird out of the cage. Allow the bird to come out if the bird wants to, but don't force it. That could be harming your bond as well--- again, everything with a parrot has to be their choice, on their schedule (which is SLOW....snails seem to move faster than parrots when it comes to bonding etc in many cases). Open the door and read a book or something, if the bird comes out, great! If not, oh well, you gave the opportunity.


That having been said, the longer you have this bird, the harder it will be on the bird if you DO decide to re-home, so basically, if you wait it out, make sure you are all in and hope for the best, but don't decide to re-home a year from now because you aren't your bird's favorite at that point, as that will only allow the bird more time to get attached, only to lose that connection, you know?

 

[Scott]

Welcome to the forums, thanks for joining and entrusting us to help resolve serious issues. Wonderful advice above concerning bonding issues and the unknowable, fickle choices of parrot attachment.

If you are at risk for bird-centric lung diseases, have you taken measures to reduce susceptibility? Scrupulous cleaning of cage and food dishes helpful, do you have high quality air cleaners? This may be your best but most expensive variable to reduce serious illness.

I wish you much guidance and luck with difficult decisions.

 

[Macbeth]

Its a green cheek. Thank you for the advice. This is definitely disappointing, I wasnt aware they just form this bond for no reason. I thought i could perhaps give her to the other person for a day so she doesnt get too bored of me, but I see this isnt a matter of boredom at all.



She did use to fly to me before but I guess this is a bird thing, now im worried even more because soon I wont be home as much as other people in my household. I definitely dont want her depressed or affected badly by rehoming so I wont wait more than three more weeks. Saying that, does her being a baby -green cheeks mature around 1 year i think?- mean i still have a chance. Is there anything I can do at all to strengthen our bond, i train her step up, potty training every day, I will have to look into target training as well.

 

[noodles123]

Yeah, I mean, it can all change, but that's the thing, you never know for sure. If you are pushing training too hard or forcing step-ups etc, that could also set you back. Your interactions must cast you in a positive light if you want to build trust-- if you push your bird when they are hesitant (even if they cooperate eventually) that doesn't help you build trust. There are some weird "chemistry" relationships that just happen, but you can build a relationship if you know what you are doing and have the time in most cases (although, again, it may never be "fireworks"). Babies do change at puberty, so who knows...Yours will definitely change, but that may or may not impact preferences, although it sometimes does. You could be number 1 forever, or never, or for like 5 years, you know? It's so hard to know because even in the perfect setting, they can still pick someone else off the bat (that doesn't mean that is the only person they will ever care for, but it can certainly feel like a blow to the ego when you are working your butt off and the bird wants nothing to do with you...) It is often temporary, but there is no clear answer.


I can tell you mine, as an adult, did not like me at all initially and now I am top 2, but it wasn't easy and I cannot say that always happens...even if they do love you first, it doesn't always stay the same forever, so it is complicated. I cried a lot early on because I was like, dang...80 years with you and you won't even let me tough you?!?! That is long gone, but I get the fear aspect of your post. The thing is, you should just accept that what will be will be and if you not being the favorite is an issue, then parrots are probably not the most trustworthy choice of pets (despite their strong bonds etc-humans do a lot of stuff that we are unaware of and in the wild, they would have their pick of 100s of birds as potential mates etc). I decided before I even got Noodles that we were in this--and that is easier said than done, but things can change so much and you can't take any of it personally.


Although many parrots pick mates for life, our environments and behavior also shape them, and a home is so unnatural. What you may see as disloyalty could actually be a very strong bond, just not the one you expected.


MOST relationships take work, but there are those random ones that just happen and for no apparent reason (like me and the bird at the store). I literally did nothing, other than say hi, and that was all it took-- that doesn't mean that bird can never care for anyone else, but it won't be that easy for most. That also doesn't mean that the bird at the store will always love me in the same way, so just take them for what they are if you are able.

 

[fiddlejen]

Regarding birdkeepers lung disease. Are you sleeping in the same room with the bird? If you do keep the bird, you should plan to get high quality air filter(s).

A GCC is among your good choices. It is not one of the "powder-down" birds, such as cockatoos or 'teils, that produce a lot of lung-irritant powder.

I do wonder what your "risks" for birdkeepers disease are. Specifically - are you using CPAP or other breathing equipment that Pushes air into your lungs? I personally know someone who developed lung disease directly due to CPAP pushing dust (from powder-species birds housed in bedroom) deeply into his lungs.

IF your risks include using pressurizing-breathing equipment. Or if your bird's main habitat is in your sleeping space... OR if being around your bird or cleaning / maintaining its living quarters are causing you symptoms of allergies or other health symptoms, then I would strongly suggest that you look into finding a different, good home for the bird.

It is not generally kindness to a creature to keep it, if it is going to badly impact ones' own health. In that case, it is more kind to the creature to find it a different good home.


Edit:
p.s. I have asthma and allergies myself. So, I do Not mean to say that no one with lung problems can have birds. I keep my (non-powder-type) birds' area clean, vacuum Frequently, change their papers etc, mist the cages etc. I often even sleep in the room with them. I am very concerned, though, where you feel you are "sacrificing your health." This make me wonder if your health issues really are worse and make a bird un-safe for you,, or,, if you are Allergic to your bird -- which can make any Health Issues get far worse. Myself I am allergic to cats and dogs, especially cats. I love cats, but it would be UN-kind for me to adopt one, because it would destroy my health, and I would then become unable to care for it. I wonder if, for you, this might be the case for you with birds?

 

[Laurasea]

I'd suggest a consult with your doctor to decide what's best for your health. To make sure it isn't other issues..

GCC are nippy, mine is nippy, I avoid most bites because I pay attention to her body language. I say she is like a cat, pet me. No ill bite, why aren't you petting me! This can happen in a blink if an eye during a snuggle sessions, I pause, then when she us sure I'm nit killing her , go back to head scratches. GCC needle sharp beaks do hurt, and bleed, and they get you in the most sensitive spots.

I think you can be your GCC person. Bribe bribe. Hand feed little treats, like safflower seeds , ive heard you can aim for fifty hand feed treats a day!! Lol I never get that high, but i hand feed many times a day to all my babies.

Covers burd behavior, abd later things like bites
https://lafeber.com/pet-birds/bird-behavior/