Please help me :(

[apatrimo94]

My parents are telling me they think I should rehome Bartleby. They complain it's too much work and money. This made me really mad because they do NOTHING! We just got into a fight. I want to keep Bartleby. I can't let him go. But my parents are really mad at me and they keep throwing threats. Please help me I love Bartleby too much. I can take care of him, I do the work and have the money, but my parents are throwing threats at me that I'm not too happy about. Please, what can I do? He's one of the healthiest and happiest birds. I'm just afraid I'll be out one day and when I get home, he's gone

 

[Birdamor]

Oh, Lord, Apatrimo, what can we do to help? Why would they say that a single little tiel is too much work and money? And, if it is your time and your money why would they care? There must be some other reason for them to be mad at you. Is there anything you can do about it? Also, do you keep him in your room? Can you lock it when you go out?

 

[madparrotwoman]

Oh dear, it's always a tricky one when you and your bird are living with parents. First of all what is it they are unhappy about if you are spending your own money and doing the work?? Is Bartleby in the family area and if so is it the noise and mess they are complaining about? How old are you, do they feel that Bartleby is getting in the way of your studying?

Without the added information I can only add that it is unhelpful to argue and fight in a situation like this, you need to sit down and discuss what the problem is and how it can be overcome. Make it clear how much you love Bartleby and that you couldn't face giving him up. Good luck

 

[xblade]

I have 3 kids, and they have had a few pets.My wife and I always end up looking after them.My IRN was suposed to be for my 16 year old daughter,who WANTED her own bird sooo bad.But guess who's looking after her and doing all the training?...ME
Not that I mind

But if your funding the care of your pets and doing all the work,I see no problem there.Good on ya! Maybe it's a noise issue? Talk it out with your parents , and see if you can work it out. Us parents are usually pretty fair.
Good luck Apatrimo

 

[parrotqueen]

I'm so sorry that you're in such a sticky situation. Just like madparrotwoman said, arguing will get you nowhere. Parents strongly dislike it when you argue with them, and that in itself can possibly make them force you into rehoming Bartleby. Just calmly reason with them, and ask them why they don't agree with keeping Bartleby. If you throw out enough reasons that you're able to keep him, they might change their minds.

 

[antoinette]

Tough tough situation. My late mother did not like any animals. I had a dog, BUT always made sure, he was never in her way, did the poopie run a few times a day. I never ever gave her a reason to complain. I made sure the dog was always clean, the kennel and the yard. It was tough, but I somehow pulled it off.
Could it be possible things have been stirring for a while and something triggered this unfortunate incident to occur?
Ask to chat to them, sit down, remain calm, and listen carefully to what they have to say.
Try come to some agreement where everyone is satisfied. If they stipulate new rules, fair enough, do your best to follow them through.
As you mentioned Bartleby is your responsibility, financially as well, so those are ruled out.
Personal question, what is your age? If I recall you are still a student.
Are your studies being neglected?
Is most of your "free" time spent with your pets?
Perhaps you are not spending enough time with family members, and they feel neglected?
How many hours are spent on the internet?
Are all your home chores been done, and not ignored?
Are you socializing enough with people your age?
Where is cage situated, is he a noise bird? Might be a good idea to move it.
Is the cage cleaned often?
They might feel you have taken on more than you can chew.
Emphasis how much Bartleby has become a part of your life, and you can't imagine not having him in your life.
Good luck, praying it all works out well.

 

[Ratzy]

I have the same problem. Fortunately, the threats are not the same. Sometimes I have to do other jobs after feeding the budgies ( I always do some minor cleaning afterwards and I syringe feed them ) so mum and dad complain I don't clear up after. Dad threatens that he will ban feeding the budgies a balanced diet, which he perceives as a waste of time. My budgies are family not pets. How can one cockatiel be more expensive than a tortiose and a budgie? I have 5 budgies. They don't cost that much. They aren't that much work ( apart from feeding, cleaning and bonding ). If they don't do anything to help, then why should they complain? If you gave away your bird, where would he/she end up? It could be a bird mill or a family that thinks cockatiels are ornamental.
Stick a sign up on the cage, 'Not to be rehomed.' How old are you? You could tell them when the subject comes up again, 'if he/she goes, I go too.' Usually works.

 

[apatrimo94]

Thanks everybody. I will answer some on your questions. I am 16 years old. So I'm still in high school. My birds do NOT interfere with my school work. I just finished sophmore year and I got my report card, all straight A's with one B. I'm doing some school now during the summer to get ahead of my class and get some extra credits (Because I'm such a nerd :22:LOL). I sat down with my parents after I had some time to cool off (I went to the movies with some friends). We discussed it calmly and nicely. Apparently, my mom's problem was the mess Bartleby made. We kept him in our dining room (which we never eat in, we eat in our kitchen). I clean up his mess everyday with the vaccum but it just drives my mom crazy because she just doesn't like messes. No matter how many times I tell her "The mess comes with having a pet bird," she still doesn't get it. Another problem she has is when Bartleby has his chatty days. Every few days, Bartleby would spend most of the day singing, whistling,and chirping. She gets annoyed and throws a blanket over his cage which makes me mad when she does that. It's his natural thing to sing. The last problem they had is that I have my pets as my top priority. They have to be. They're not oraments just for us to watch (which is what my parents think). For example, there are times we go away for 4-5 day vacations or trips. I always make plans with what happens with my pets. They go to my friends' houses to be pet-sitted. This annoys my parents, they tell me to just throw enough food and water in their bowls and they'll be good to go. No, it doesn't work like that. So, we spent over 2 hours talking a negotiating, Bartleby is staying. He's going to be moved in my room with S'mores. My mom wasn't happy about me moving the bird in my room, but I put some perks in to keep her happy. Things are still sour between me and my parents, but everything should hopefully be okay. Thanks so much for the prayers and tips guys! I would've ended up nowhere without you all.

 

[Auggie's Dad]

Argh! This whole thing just makes me irate, especially this:

... they tell me to just throw enough food and water in their bowls and they'll be good to go.

I don't think there is a single way I could express my feelings about your parents views that I would not have to ban myself for!

I'm glad you've been able to work out a deal. I can understand a parent wanting to maintain a clean home and insisting you clean up after your pets. They can insist you care for and pay for your pets. But when you are being responsible and doing everything just the way they should and you have to fear them taking away your bird(s)... that's just sick wrong and evil.

Ask them how they would react if their boss at work said that if they didn't double their performance at work he'd take away their children. Well no, don't actually say that - wait a couple years until you have your own place.

It is just absolutely sickening how some people view animals. I'm glad you are not one of those people.

My mother (a retired pastor and theologian) has a thought that started out as a bit of a joke, but it has become more and more serious as time has gone on: She thinks/hopes that the only real way to get to heaven has nothing to do with what you believe, what traditions you follow, or what rules you abided by, but only that you have an animal vouch for you.

Reasonable enough in the judeo-christian traditions: animals never 'fell from grace' as humans did. They were never kicked out of the garden, they just came with us.

If there is a heaven that's the one I would wish to go to, where everyone there got there by the recommendation of an animal.

 

[Beilana]

Argh! This whole thing just makes me irate, especially this:

... they tell me to just throw enough food and water in their bowls and they'll be good to go.

I don't think there is a single way I could express my feelings about your parents views that I would not have to ban myself for!

I'm glad you've been able to work out a deal. I can understand a parent wanting to maintain a clean home and insisting you clean up after your pets. They can insist you care for and pay for your pets. But when you are being responsible and doing everything just the way they should and you have to fear them taking away your bird(s)... that's just sick wrong and evil.

Ask them how they would react if their boss at work said that if they didn't double their performance at work he'd take away their children. Well no, don't actually say that - wait a couple years until you have your own place.

It is just absolutely sickening how some people view animals. I'm glad you are not one of those people.

My mother (a retired pastor and theologian) has a thought that started out as a bit of a joke, but it has become more and more serious as time has gone on: She thinks/hopes that the only real way to get to heaven has nothing to do with what you believe, what traditions you follow, or what rules you abided by, but only that you have an animal vouch for you.

Reasonable enough in the judeo-christian traditions: animals never 'fell from grace' as humans did. They were never kicked out of the garden, they just came with us.

If there is a heaven that's the one I would wish to go to, where everyone there got there by the recommendation of an animal.

I completely agree!! You sure hit the nail on the head AD, IMO.

Sounds like you are doing everything right Ap, This shouldn't bring about punishments but rewards. You are being responsible and getting good grades at the same time! A report card with almost all A's! My mom would have killed to have me get grades like that:22:

I'm really happy you get to keep Bartelby

 

[apatrimo94]

Thanks guys. I feel so much relief. I don't want to make my parents sound like bad guys. I mean, they have a love for life and animals too. They're just not educated on keeping animals, even though I try to educate them all the time. They just say, it's just a bird, what can you do with it. Makes me mad, but they don't understand.

 

[Aussie Ben]

So glad that you have been able to talk things out. I have had similar problems, not so much with my parents (although they don't like the 'mess') but more with my siblings. Like you, I told them what was involved before we bought the birds and they agreed and said they understood, but I don't think they did. Eddie occasionally screams with excitement when they walk through the room. I told them this would not happen if they got to know him, but they find it hard to believe that something so simple as spending 10 minutes a day with him will fix the problem. Still trying to educate them.

My family love animals but I think with birds it is harder to make them understand - Birds are so easy to please but they are so impressionable to being ignored by members of their 'flock'. I think people have grown used to thinking that birds just live in a cage and eat seed, which we know is not the case. When we went away, my family used to just say put some seed in for a few days, but I quickly corrected them as to why that would be nothing short of cruel.

 

[Auggie's Dad]

No need for a baby sitter when you want a long weekend away from your newborn, just slap and extra diaper on him and shove a jumbo size bottle in his mouth - that should hold him over.

Also be sure to strap him down in his crib or he might get out and pee on the furniture.

 

[Aussie Ben]

No need for a baby sitter when you want a long weekend away from your newborn, just slap and extra diaper on him and shove a jumbo size bottle in his mouth - that should hold him over.

Also be sure to strap him down in his crib or he might get out and pee on the furniture.

lol thats exactly what I hear when people say 'just throw some seed in for a few days.'

THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS!

 

[Aussie Ben]

Actually, I'm sometimes led to believe that many people don't realise birds are wild animals and think they don't exist in the wild. They think they are domesticated like dogs. I recall one commenter on youtube saying something like 'there are flocks cockatoos flying free? How did they escape from their cages?'

 

[Bobby34231]

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

just thought this fit the moment....

 

[Aussie Ben]

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

Beautiful and so true

 

[Ratzy]

Urg.. I soo know the feeling when your parents just tell you to 'bung in some extra seed and water and they'll by fine'. Last time I went away I had exactly that. The birdsitter that came just threw in some seed and water and left them for the entire time we were away.

 

[Beilana]

'there are flocks cockatoos flying free? How did they escape from their cages?'

LOL Oh my..:54:

 

[Bobby34231]

Hi Ap, sorry I didn't get to really weigh in on this thread, but I do agree that any time theres a problem with the folks that communication is the key.....I'm glad all turned out well and you can keep your beloved Fid


Hang in there Bud, we're all out here for ya!