Petting my sun...

[ElisabethR]

Hi, everyone! I've only posted once here before, but I read often.

My sun conure, Tuco, will be a year old next month. He's already displaying some signs of "terrible two" behavior -- noisier, a little more aggressive, suddenly deciding he doesn't need to obey step up and step down commands. We're working on all of it...fingers crossed.

But what upsets me about his new attitude is that he's decided he doesn't like to be petted.

Tuco has issues with being touched and I've made a point to respect it. When I first met him at the store, he let me pet his stomach and head through his cage bars. When I got him home, he made it VERY clear that being touched on his breast was not something he actually liked. I think he was just so eager for attention that he submitted to things he didn't enjoy.

He's never let me pet his breast or under his wings. It's clear that whoever raised him never handled him much, because he just doesn't associate petting with enjoyment at all. He has slowly trusted me enough to let him stroke his back (like a dog) and has always let me scratch and preen his head. He used to let me clean off any food he had on his cheeks or forehead.

Now he won't let me. He still lets me pet his back, but he won't let me touch his head or cheeks, he immediately screams and bites. Today, he had a lot of crud on his face and he refused to let me help him. The first time this happened, I thought he was just over-sensitive from new feather growth, but it's clear that it's a personality issue.

My mom and I are the only ones who handle him. He's never been hit or injured. Nothing bad has ever happened to his head because of a person. Nothing bad has ever happened to him under our care at all! Did I just not give him enough head rubs and he fell out of the habit? Became wild? Or do conures (Terrible twos or otherwise) ever go through no-touch phases?

He's constantly out and about, interacts with me, kisses me (and makes kissy noises to me all the time), wrestles, and cuddles. We haven't been separated or altered our routine at all. If anything, he's become a bit spoiled and needy, and he doesn't even want anyone to leave the room at all. So this sudden "Don't touch!" attitude is at odds with the rest of his behavior, though it certainly fits with his new aggressive, "I do what I want!" attitude.

I'm trying to respect his decision, and tentatively trying once and awhile, usually with the same angry result. It's heartbreaking. I loved rubbing his cheeks. Any advice? Is it just something to wait through?

 

[Spiritbird]

As you are learning birds are not petting animals. The head scratch is all that they usually like. Reason being is that touching them under wings or beyond the neck is sexually stimulating to them leading to lots of frustration.

 

[roxynoodle]

Many birds just really don't like being touched. My Nanday conure doesn't. We have a moment every once in awhile where she will cuddle under my chin, but not very often. After the vet examines her, she will let me cuddle her lightly as well, but that's it. I can usually pet her beak, and sometimes her feet, but that took years before I could do it without her pulling back or trying to bite.

If he does allow any petting, Spiritbird is correct that you should confine it to the area of the head and neck to prevent additional hormonal reactions and frustration on the part of your bird.

And if he never likes petting, he will still be fun to interact with.

My other conure was cuddly, and my two new larger birds are a bit. But, there is a reason I have a cat, lol! The cat always wants to cuddle

 

[fishbait]

My sun just turned two and still loves to get petted/touched all over. I think it has to do with her early handling by her breeder vs. any conditioning i have done. As i am learning more on parrot behavior i don't think conditioning is as effective with parrots as with my horses! I do spend a lot of time in the evening with her stroking her all over though!

Is your conure going through a molt?

 

[ElisabethR]

No, not molting. I originally thought that his head might just be over-sensitive due to new feathers, but it's gone on a bit long.

That's what bothers me -- he used to love head scratches and even ask for them if he'd had a bath, but now he wants nothing to do with it. I feel like I did something wrong, but nothing has changed in all these months...

 

[Pedro]

If this behavior is suddenly out of character I would have a health check. It is possible that your baby could be unwell.

I don't believe parrots go through the terrible twos. Why !!!because i have reared so many parrots, even all my breeders have been hand reared by myself. For the life of me i have never witnessed any of my birds being out of control & behaving badly (Terrible Two's). I have seen them react to something i may have done they didn't like.

I personally think that the carer has lost their authority & the bird being so intellegent picks up on this. Or the carer hasn't read the birds body language, they don't understand that the bird wants to be left alone. So when their beautiful parrot starts playing up it's been labled as terrible two's.

As far as petting goes not every bird likes to be petted. Not every hand-raised parrot wants to be a companion parrot either. That doesn't mean it's the breeders fault. I rear all my babies the same & give them all the correct handling & training necessary. For example they are recall trained, step up & down. Steping up & steping down from their perch inside their cage. I try to make it as easy as possible for the new owners. But I can't teach the new carer to do things exactly as i do, they have to learn all that themselves.

Every now & then i have a baby that doesn't want to be touched or patted, however they do allow kisses, will readly step up & obey commands. Sit on shoulders but for goodness sake don't touch me. I am working with one such baby at the moment. I have no idea why he is so neurotic about hands. The only thing that is the possible cause is I had him caged with a hen that was a bit bossy & chased him a fair bit. I have made progress with him but it's slow to gain his trust because he is so scared of everything.

How long have you had Tuco for???.

Sun's sure do know how to be noisy & can be a pain if this behavior is allowed to continue, with mine everytime i go near their cage i whisper to them, I's great having 3 adult suns in a cage & i can actually go up to them & they don't scream at me. They are not pets but are held over for future breeding.

I agree that you need to respect that he doesn't want to be touched.

 

[ElisabethR]

I guess I should stress here that Tuco is not my first parrot. He is my first conure, however, and it's been a learning curve to understand his language versus my family's super mellow, anything goes cockatoo. They're all different that way.

If I was unclear or came off that inexperienced to receive these kinds of responses, I apologize...and I apologize if it seems like I'm forcing him to be touched. I thought I had stressed that I completely respect his wishes, and I don't even try to touch him on wings, chest, etc. I don't have a problem with it.

However, I do know Tuco's background, and I do know some of his behavior was a result of the breeder. He came from PetCo. (Normally, I would never buy a bird from a chain. But Tuco picked me. No choice!) This was one of the rare PetCo's with big, roomy cages, lots of fruit & veg, and really knowledgeable carers. Tuco was lucky to have landed with them and not a less knowledgeable branch, since the breeder insisted he was weaned, but he hadn't been. He would have starved if the manager hadn't been a very attentive, bird loving one and noticed the whole shipment wasn't touching their pellets or vegetables. So she hand-fed them, weaned them completely, and socialized them. Tuco came through with flying colors, the two green-cheeks who arrived with him were still so shy and uncertain they wouldn't come out of their happy hut. (Luckily, they did brighten up thanks to her dedication, and found lovely homes.)

I've visited the breeder's website, if you can call it a website ... no photos of the birds, no info on who the breeder is, just prices and lists of breeds and a big "Under Construction." Their Facebook is also blank, except for one tagged photo of a macaw that came from them. I don't expect breeders to have a lot of time for a fantastic site or photos of every bird, but I'd at least like a bio of them, you know? And I'm horrified they would send birds out without being 100% sure that they were weaned and on solid foods. How many did they dump on stores that might have died because they didn't eat? It's so upsetting.

The breeder/vet I got my cockatoo from said it's common for some of these "parrot for profit" places to essentially shove a turkey baster down their crop, fill 'em up, and then leave them. No cuddles, no extra one-on-one...I think Tuco was definitely one of these. I think it's a miracle and a sign of his good personality that he's as trusting, loving, and sweet as he is. His green-cheeked conure friends hadn't fared nearly as well.

I've had him six months now, and he's coming up on his first birthday. He just had his first Well Bird check-up a few weeks ago (top bird vet in the state) who pronounced him in fantastic shape. He said he was a real firecracker of a conure -- I had them smooth out his beak and nails, Tuco got the "champion squirmer and kicker" award. So I know it's not health related.

He kisses (and now makes kissy noises as he runs to me), he wrestles, he lets me tickle the bottom of his feet, zoom him like an airplane, and play "ferris wheel." At night he likes me to wrap him in a blanket and hold him until he falls asleep. He loves being held very tightly. If I'm not holding him tight enough, he'll shove me until hug him tighter. He'll often cuddle right up against my face and neck because he can't ever be close enough.

Today he had a big bath (he insists on being bathed in my hand and in a bowl -- no sink or shower for this guy) and he zoned out and let me pet his head again, bu then once he dried out, he was kind of cranky and bitey about it with no real warning. I'm very attentive to his language.

His feathers seem a little sparse on top today, so maybe he is going through another molt and I just can't see/feel the new feather spikes
He doesn't have his full coloration yet, so he's probably itchy or sensitive. He's a year next month ... I'm not sure I'm totally willing to discount that hormones may be at play. He loves preening me, it may be that he's just trying to assert his swaggery male dominance over me any way he can, including on a head scratch.

Hence the puzzle and why I asked for some help. I thank everyone for their responses, and hopefully I've made myself a bit clearer.

 

[roxynoodle]

If he has pin feathers, that could be why he feels uncomfortable right now.

And yes, I bought my Nanday from a pet store at the age of 8 months. Perhaps if I had met her sooner, she would be cuddlier than she is. I think she was there a long time without being handled much. I know nothing about her breeder or life before I brought her home that day. She picked me, too, so that is why she is my bird.

Sorry we gave you advice that didn't help. We just didn't know.

 

[ElisabethR]

No worries. I apologize if I came off defensive. I really didn't mean to.

It is amazing how they choose their owners! I had no intention of getting a bird that day. I was buying hamster bedding! I only went into their bird room just to see them. And before I knew it...

Tuco did a lot of things there he's never done since. He danced to music there! He's come home and never danced again. i think he had a bit of a "Take me home!" routine plotted!

 

[roxynoodle]

I wasn't bird shopping either, lol! I was there for a tack sale. They didn't have what I was looking for (or in my price range), so I wandered out to the rest of the store to look at the pets. And the Nanday said, "I want to go home with you!" Not in those words, but it was obvious.

 

[ElisabethR]

And then you're at home having spent a shocking amount of money, going "oh no, oh no, what I have I done?!"

And Tuco was like "Exactly what I asked you to. Man, these new toys are awesome. Nice job on the cage. Oh, time for bed. Goodnight."

I read all this stuff about how scared he'd be his first day and night, and he was totally relaxed and happy. I think I was more stressed than he was.

 

[lexx510]

My GCC loves to be petted and held. However, every now and then she gets cranky and needs her space. I've learned to respect that. When she misses being held, she'll usually climb right into my hand and snuggle.

 

[Mitchell]

My nape wasn't that cuddly either, but I tried a trick someone told me and it might work for you if we're lucky. If your birds wings are clipped take him outside in the open where he can see the airplanes and birds in the sky and keep him or her away from your body for a minute or two just to get her feeling vulnerable. Then pull him or her close to your body but its head below your chin level and try cupping its upper back gently as to sheild and protect it and see what the response is. Mine cuddled right up to me and let me pet its head and scruff around its neck and cheeks again. After a few trips outside per day for a week or so, mine started back to letting me pet it inside again as if it felt secure like before the behavior change. It's something to try, if you're like me you'll try just about anything to salvage any lost closeness you can possible regain from your feathered friend. Hope this helps!

 

[Pedro]

ElisabethR, I hope my post wasn't upsetting to you. I was only trying to give a breeders point of view & how each baby bird has their own personality. It's not alway's the breeders fault when someones bird turns feral. Plus it never crossed my mind whether or not you were an experienced parrot owner. If Tuco was so lovely when you bought him & now he has changed, then there must be a reason.

How long have you had him??? Did you only just buy him or had him since young.

I know you probably don't want to hear this but he may have decided that your not his favorite flock member. It does happen.

My advice would be to step back a bit, read his body language, at 12 months old he is almost an adult (My suns bred at 18 months) He would really be choosing his mate now if he were in the wild. Just because they are a companion parrot, they don't lose their wild instinct when it comes to choosing a mate & wanting to breed.

I would think Tuco is starting his yearly molt so he won't appreciate you touching his feathers as pins can be very tender & uncomfortable.

 

[ElisabethR]

My nape wasn't that cuddly either, but I tried a trick someone told me and it might work for you if we're lucky. If your birds wings are clipped take him outside in the open where he can see the airplanes and birds in the sky and keep him or her away from your body for a minute or two just to get her feeling vulnerable. Then pull him or her close to your body but its head below your chin level and try cupping its upper back gently as to sheild and protect it and see what the response is. Mine cuddled right up to me and let me pet its head and scruff around its neck and cheeks again. After a few trips outside per day for a week or so, mine started back to letting me pet it inside again as if it felt secure like before the behavior change. It's something to try, if you're like me you'll try just about anything to salvage any lost closeness you can possible regain from your feathered friend. Hope this helps!

Tuco LOVES going outside. Spying for airplanes is his favorite thing. Whenever he sees one, he trills and watches it until it disappears. I had a lot of fun over the summer because he would hear them long before I did. He likes watching the birds outside too. It feels like there's nothing (except loud noises in the house?) that he's afraid of.

Poor little guy misses his sunshine. I live in Colorado and the temperature has been in single digits ... I take him outside whenever it soars to 50 but he can't wait for summer to come back!

He's still as snuggly as ever, it's just the head scratching thing that's a puzzle...but thanks! I'll have to try this trick, and see if he might warm up to some of my other family members using it. This might be why he clicked with my mom -- I had to leave him with her when I went out of town, and they were always outside. I got a lot of funny photos texted to me.

 

[ElisabethR]

ElisabethR, I hope my post wasn't upsetting to you. I was only trying to give a breeders point of view & how each baby bird has their own personality. It's not alway's the breeders fault when someones bird turns feral. Plus it never crossed mind whether or not you were an experienced parrot owner. If Tuco was so lovely when you bought him & now he has changed.

How long have you had him??? Dis you only just buy him or had him since young.

I know you probably don't want to hear this but he may have decided that your not his favorite flock member. It does happen.

My advice would be to step back a bit, read his body language, at 12 months old he is almost an adult (My suns bred at 18 months) He would really be choosing his mate now if he were in the wild. Just because they are a companion parrot, they don't lose their wild instinct when it comes to choosing a mate & wanting to breed.

I would think Tuco is starting his yearly molt so he won't appreciate you touching his feathers as pins can be very tender & uncomfortable.

Pedro, did you read my message at all? Here's part of what I wrote:

He kisses (and now makes kissy noises as he runs to me), he wrestles, he lets me tickle the bottom of his feet, zoom him like an airplane, and play "ferris wheel." At night he likes me to wrap him in a blanket and hold him until he falls asleep. He loves being held very tightly. If I'm not holding him tight enough, he'll shove me until hug him tighter. He'll often cuddle right up against my face and neck because he can't ever be close enough.

I'm the only person Tuco has bonded with. He likes my mom a lot, which is great because I have to leave him with her sometimes, but whenever I come back he flings away from her and comes to me. He will attack anyone who comes near me, which can be a bit problematic. I believe he considers me his mate, since he will attack anyone who comes near me, and then nip at me to make me "fly away" from the perceived threat. He's hysterical if I leave a room. I have to call to him so he knows I'm coming back.

We make his salads together. I'm the only one who can give him a bath, and the only one he will flip over and wrestle with. At night, he falls asleep against my neck, cheek, or my elbow. He's obsessed with kissing me and preening my face, and does the little "happy dance" against my face.

None of this has changed. At all. I'm not sure how much clearer I can be. The only thing that he's cranky about is the head scratching. We still do everything we've ever done. Actually, he's MORE cuddly during his nighttime routine than he was. He used to just ride/sleep in my sweatshirt, now he wants to be hugged in my arms and against my face as he goes to sleep.

Tonight, he woke up and played peek a boo for awhile (even doing his human laugh when I pretended I really couldn't find him) and then went to bed. Well, wrestled him to bed. He doesn't like to go back in his cage, he just wants to sleep on my pillow or in my blanket all night. He's still the sweet and nutty guy he's always been.

The ONLY THING that has changed is that he suddenly does not like having his head and cheeks scratched. He used to let me rub his cheeks, head, neck and chin for hours. He had a big bath today, and I don't see new feather growth or spikes on these areas (and he is almost completely orange and yellow now except for two tiny green feathers) though he does have pinfeathers on the back of his neck. He still lets me stroke the top of his head, and enjoys it, but he doesn't want it to go any further. It's strange as he used to push his head into my hand for scratches and rubs.

As for how long I've had him, I did answer that as well:

I've had him six months now, and he's coming up on his first birthday.

To clarify further, I got him in June 2011. He was born in February 2011. Next month, he will be a year old.

I'm really, really not trying to be rude, but I'm just not sure how you're coming to these very, very extreme conclusions about his behavior towards me. I'm not sure how my description of his loving, sweet behavior at all indicated that he wants nothing to do with me. I thought I had been pretty clear in my response.

I guess it's just Tuco being Tuco, and he'll either want head scratchings again or he won't. I'm not pushing it at all, I very much respect his feelings and choices, I just wondered if anyone else had experienced anything similar. Maybe it's a molt, maybe it's hormonal...it's not affecting my relationship with him so I won't worry about it. I just thought I'd ask.

 

[Pedro]

Oh dear how stupid of me. I guess you just wanted to toss around if others have had the same problem. Why would you need any advice with such a perfect companion. Most of us would die for a well behaved parrot such as Tuco.

Anyway he is being typical of a sun conure his age. Really nothing to worry about.

 

[ElisabethR]

Oh dear how stupid of me. I guess you just wanted to toss around if others have had the same problem. Why would you need any advice with such a perfect companion. Most of us would die for a well behaved parrot such as Tuco.

Anyway he is being typical of a sun conure his age. Really nothing to worry about.

If you're being sarcastic, I don't think that is at all appropriate.

Tuco is my first conure, as I said. His behavior has been a learning curve. Whenever he reacts strongly, I'm very concerned and wonder why. I would think this would be a place where that kind of dedication was understood, and appreciated. We are all bird owners here. If I can't talk to fellow conure owners, who can I talk to?

 

[roxynoodle]

My Nanday came home exactly the same way, as if she had lived here her whole life, and finally had a castle to be queen of!

It does sound though like he is mate bonding with you. My sister's bird did that, and boy did things get difficult and out of control when she chose a human mate! I don't have good advice though on how to stop or prevent that. My amazon was starting to court me, but I just ignored all of that sort of behavior. And now he is head over heels in love with the new Grey, so I have been "dumped", lol!

 

[fishbait]

I can't wait to take my sun out on my roping horse with me someday ( if i can get her harness trained)!!!