Off my chest, I just need to vent

[TheSeals]

Hello everyone. I am new here as of today and this is my first post. I have four beautiful parrots. Peachy (F/27) Moluccan Cockatoo, Ruby (M/23) African Grey, Alfie (M/11) Green Cheek Conure, Jasmine (F/?) Green Cheek Conure. I harbor so much guilt from owning them. I’ve had them for 10 years now. I am only 30 and I do not know adult life without them.
We have a bird room but they still spend 90% of their day in their cages. We give them fresh chop daily. Well, we chop it weekly and serve it fresh daily along with fruit. They always have fresh filtered water (changed nightly), we clean their chop bowls nightly, and they get “junk food” (seed) about twice a week. They have frequent beak and nails trims. They also have accessible vet care. I also clean their cages weekly/papers every other couple of days.
Here’s the issue: If they are lucky they get out of their cages for about two hours a day… if they get out that day. I know this is not enough. It eats me alive. I also know if the horrific stories of rehoming parrots. I am extremely torn. We meet most of their needs but definitely not all. By this I mean, time out of their cages and time spent with us. I don’t not see this changing in the future. We don’t live in a great area for rehoming pets (we live in the south: Arkansas). I’m not sure what to do. I love them with all of my heart but I also feel extreme guilt. It drains me daily. I know rehoming them would be emotionally devastating. But at the same time, what if they could individually find homes that are amazing for them?? I wish I could rehome them to a retired vet or a veterinary office. Or somebody who has a ton of time and experience. I am so lost and desperate. I’m seeking advice or kind words.. anything really.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

Hello everyone. I am new here as of today and this is my first post. I have four beautiful parrots. Peachy (F/27) Moluccan Cockatoo, Ruby (M/23) African Grey, Alfie (M/11) Green Cheek Conure, Jasmine (F/?) Green Cheek Conure. I harbor so much guilt from owning them. I’ve had them for 10 years now. I am only 30 and I do not know adult life without them.
We have a bird room but they still spend 90% of their day in their cages. We give them fresh chop daily. Well, we chop it weekly and serve it fresh daily along with fruit. They always have fresh filtered water (changed nightly), we clean their chop bowls nightly, and they get “junk food” (seed) about twice a week. They have frequent beak and nails trims. They also have accessible vet care. I also clean their cages weekly/papers every other couple of days.
Here’s the issue: If they are lucky they get out of their cages for about two hours a day… if they get out that day. I know this is not enough. It eats me alive. I also know if the horrific stories of rehoming parrots. I am extremely torn. We meet most of their needs but definitely not all. By this I mean, time out of their cages and time spent with us. I don’t not see this changing in the future. We don’t live in a great area for rehoming pets (we live in the south: Arkansas). I’m not sure what to do. I love them with all of my heart but I also feel extreme guilt. It drains me daily. I know rehoming them would be emotionally devastating. But at the same time, what if they could individually find homes that are amazing for them?? I wish I could rehome them to a retired vet or a veterinary office. Or somebody who has a ton of time and experience. I am so lost and desperate. I’m seeking advice or kind words.. anything really.

I'm wondering what happened and when that resulted in you being unable to do more for your birds? Its obvious that you love them. You feed them well, and take good care of their health, but you think you're neglecting their need to exercise out of their cages and socialize with you.
Is your life too busy now? Have your interests changed and there are things you would rather do than play with your parrots? I totally understand that life happens, family and job commitments change, interests change, and sometimes mental and physical health issues make it harder to take care of your parrots the way you wished you could.
Are their cages large enough for them? Would you consider getting them much larger cages? Do your birds get along with each other? Do they interact with each other? Are they tame? Do they have any serious behavioral problems like feather plucking? Would they make good companions for someone else or are they aggressive or hostile toward humans? Have you tried to find new homes for them? There are good bird loving people who want parrots but can't afford to buy one, especially a Moluccan or a Grey, so perhaps rehoming them would improve their lives and the lives of their new parronts. I feel bad for you because guilt is such a painful emotion but the fact that you feel it shows that you don't deserve to beat yourself up over not being able to devote the time to your birds.

 

[Greenhouseparrots]

Awwww this is very sad to read, you obviously love your birds very much to be on here asking for help and advice. I'm not sure I'm the best one to give it to you as I have the threat of having to rehome my flock looming over me if I want to move out of my parents house. I can only afford to rent and where I live, it's unlikely I could find somewhere that would let me bring them all. So I have a lot of guilt and a bit of remorse over keeping them and I'm sure they pick up on it as well.

I think the best thing to do would be to look at your parrots objectively. Are they happy even only having a couple of hours out a day? Their most basic health needs are met (they have a good diet (do you give them pellets as well?), fresh, clean water, a clean living area and a vet if any health issues arise). I walk a dog for someone who became very sick and is now unable to walk him and I can only manage to walk him a couple of times a week. He's a three year old german shepherd and you would think that wouldn't be enough for him, especially since she used to walk him hours everyday, and he'd be showing lots of behavioural and physical problems but he's absolutely fine. Another dog might not be able to cope with that but he's a very happy dog and I think it would hurt both him and his owner if she was to rehome him. He doesn't chew up her furniture, bark or anything like that and she has a garden so he goes out there everyday too and she plays with him a lot but he's perfectly happy and healthy only going out for a walk a couple of times a week (I take him for a couple of hours each walk).

Your parrots will always benefit from more out of cage time and interaction from you, but they may also be okay with what they've currently got, especially if their needs are met. At any rate they're being looked after better than a lot of pet birds atm.

You say you have a bird room? Is there any reason why you can't let them out in there more? Can they be left in there without supervision if it's a dedicated room? If so then you could let them out when you get home from work (depending on your schedule) or whenever you're home and then do what you need to do in the rest of the house whilst being able to check on them at times and then when you go out or to bed just put them back in their cages. Another option is to move them out of the bird room so they're part of the household more. Even in their cages, seeing you and the rest of the household walking around and talking to them on occasion would provide enrichment, and it might make it easier for them to be out of the cage more too.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

Awwww this is very sad to read, you obviously love your birds very much to be on here asking for help and advice. I'm not sure I'm the best one to give it to you as I have the threat of having to rehome my flock looming over me if I want to move out of my parents house. I can only afford to rent and where I live, it's unlikely I could find somewhere that would let me bring them all. So I have a lot of guilt and a bit of remorse over keeping them and I'm sure they pick up on it as well.

I think the best thing to do would be to look at your parrots objectively. Are they happy even only having a couple of hours out a day? Their most basic health needs are met (they have a good diet (do you give them pellets as well?), fresh, clean water, a clean living area and a vet if any health issues arise). I walk a dog for someone who became very sick and is now unable to walk him and I can only manage to walk him a couple of times a week. He's a three year old german shepherd and you would think that wouldn't be enough for him, especially since she used to walk him hours everyday, and he'd be showing lots of behavioural and physical problems but he's absolutely fine. Another dog might not be able to cope with that but he's a very happy dog and I think it would hurt both him and his owner if she was to rehome him. He doesn't chew up her furniture, bark or anything like that and she has a garden so he goes out there everyday too and she plays with him a lot but he's perfectly happy and healthy only going out for a walk a couple of times a week (I take him for a couple of hours each walk).

Your parrots will always benefit from more out of cage time and interaction from you, but they may also be okay with what they've currently got, especially if their needs are met. At any rate they're being looked after better than a lot of pet birds atm.

You say you have a bird room? Is there any reason why you can't let them out in there more? Can they be left in there without supervision if it's a dedicated room? If so then you could let them out when you get home from work (depending on your schedule) or whenever you're home and then do what you need to do in the rest of the house whilst being able to check on them at times and then when you go out or to bed just put them back in their cages. Another option is to move them out of the bird room so they're part of the household more. Even in their cages, seeing you and the rest of the household walking around and talking to them on occasion would provide enrichment, and it might make it easier for them to be out of the cage more too.

This response made me wonder if hiring a bird sitter for a few hours a couple times a week to let them out of their cages and "play" with them is a possibility. The person would need to be experienced keeping and handling birds.

 

[DonnaBudgie]

This response made me ⁴ hours a couple times a week to let them out of their cages and "play" with them is a possibility. The person would need to be experienced keeping and handling birds.

I think most of us go through periods when our enthusiasm for being a bird owner is less-than. And we all feel guilty during these times. Most of the time, if we weren't absent for too long, our interest perks back up and our birds welcome us back with no hard feelings.
But sometimes you realize that you just don't want to do it anymore and it's totally understandable. In fact, I'm willing to bet that most people who get a parrot either will not have the parrot five years later, and it's not because the parrot died, or they still have the parrot but ignore it most of the time. That's why I think most people should not own parrots. They are very high maintenence for their entire lives, which can be as long as the human lifespan. Few people are equipped to make that kind of commitment.

 

[Niteldy]

what part of Arkansas are you from? I ask because I was born there and lived there a considerable amount of my life, I now live in Utah, the Provo area. I can give you this advice from experience- Ask your Avian Vet! He can tell you who would be a good fit for your precious babies!!!!!. Good Luck!

 

[Stephaniedevine]

Hello everyone. I am new here as of today and this is my first post. I have four beautiful parrots. Peachy (F/27) Moluccan Cockatoo, Ruby (M/23) African Grey, Alfie (M/11) Green Cheek Conure, Jasmine (F/?) Green Cheek Conure. I harbor so much guilt from owning them. I’ve had them for 10 years now. I am only 30 and I do not know adult life without them.
We have a bird room but they still spend 90% of their day in their cages. We give them fresh chop daily. Well, we chop it weekly and serve it fresh daily along with fruit. They always have fresh filtered water (changed nightly), we clean their chop bowls nightly, and they get “junk food” (seed) about twice a week. They have frequent beak and nails trims. They also have accessible vet care. I also clean their cages weekly/papers every other couple of days.
Here’s the issue: If they are lucky they get out of their cages for about two hours a day… if they get out that day. I know this is not enough. It eats me alive. I also know if the horrific stories of rehoming parrots. I am extremely torn. We meet most of their needs but definitely not all. By this I mean, time out of their cages and time spent with us. I don’t not see this changing in the future. We don’t live in a great area for rehoming pets (we live in the south: Arkansas). I’m not sure what to do. I love them with all of my heart but I also feel extreme guilt. It drains me daily. I know rehoming them would be emotionally devastating. But at the same time, what if they could individually find homes that are amazing for them?? I wish I could rehome them to a retired vet or a veterinary office. Or somebody who has a ton of time and experience. I am so lost and desperate. I’m seeking advice or kind words.. anything really.

I live in Lancaster Ohio and used to be a veterinary assistant I would take them but don’t know how I could get them here since I am disabled and home all the time

 

[Katy]

I live in Wendell North Carolina I would be happy to take one of your birds or two I'm on disability so they would get lots of attention