Obsessively attached

[Yire]

It's been three days since I've brought home Dewey(I don't know if he's actually male or female, but I've been calling him that for almost a year now) from the pet store that I work at. I try not to get too attached to the animals since they go quick sometimes, but he was a priced at $450 so you can bet he was there for a while. Nobody payed him much attention until one day I decided to take him out a bit. I guess I was the only person who would play with him, so he got very, very attached to me. I became the only person he would not bite (not nip, but painfully bruise and bleed kind of bite). I would take him with me on my break everyday and we grew very attached to eachother. It has been almost a year since he was there when the douche of a manager told me she was going to have to send him back since no one would buy him. I felt extremely guilty for taming him, since I figure--sorry, know that no one would take the time to get to know that he's really a sweet little bird. I also did not know how to break him of this obsessive attachment to me.
Although I have limited space (because of all the animals I already have) he stays in my room with my guinea pig and gerbil. I have a cat and he is definitely not allowed in my room. Dewey must always be in his cage when I'm not in the room, so I believe he is safe from him. His wings are not clipped because they're the only things that can lead him to safety if he escapes and the cat happens to be loose at the time, which I hope will never happen.

He absolutely hates his cage. It's 17x17x21..which I think is an okay size for him. He's not usually in his cage. It sits ontop of my guinea pig's cage, so he's not far down in the ground. From my computer chair, he's at eye level with me. I've already switched him to pellets, even though it's a little soon, but he was eating too many seeds at work, particularly sunflower seeds.
I'm still furnishing his cage. I'm going to purchase some natural perches and more toys for him. I have two inside the cage but he doesn't even play with them because he's always so desperate for me to let him out.

Sorry for all that extra stuff, it's really far from the point. I have budgies and lovebirds and know about bird care, but I've never befriend a parrot, so I don't really understand his behavior. I imagine it's really unhealthy for him, though. He is way too dependent on me. He goes mad whenever I leave the room, and if he's out, he actually flies after me. He's extremely defensive of me. This morning, I had him on my bed and my mother was talking to me in the room. He's seen her plenty of times before, but he still doesn't like her. She was touching my hair and had her hand on my shoulder and he comes running, feathers fluffed, to try to bite her and stands infront of me to keep guard. He bites *me* hard when other people around near me too. He just gets so angry. He loves being on me ALL the time. He loves hiding and sleeping inside my shirt. He loves it when I cup his whole little body and just hold him or pet him. The first day I brought him home, he was TERRIFIED of the dark. That stupid store never turns off the lights in the front, where the animals are, so i'm thinking thats what caused his fear of the dark. He's a little more used to it now, though.

So can some explain to me what I should know about conures as far as behavior? I don't want to do anything I shouldn't do, and if I have, I hope it's not too late.

<--Sorry, but they're such CUTE icons!

 

[Auggie's Dad]

Many parrots are one person birds. It would be good to work on getting him used to other people and there are ways of doing this, but first and foremost realize his behavior is well within the norm - it is not a sign of anything wrong, just an opportunity for further socialization.

What kind of conure is he? I could tell in reading that it was a conure before you mentioned - even sounds a bit like a dusky.

Make sure he gets plenty of out of cage time and interaction. When possible/practical you might want find him a roomier cage as that one's on the small side; though this balances out with how much time he is in it. If he is out a LOT that's a decent size for him to sleep in, but it sounds like he gets his alone time in the cage too.

For socialization you should start with your family. They should try to get to know him, especially when you're not in the room. If you are there he will be on-guard and defensive. If you are gone he may not like other people yet, but he will have less of a reason to attack.

They can start by coming in and talking to him through the cage and offering treats. Perhaps doing things very much like you did when you got to know him at the store.

In the meantime try not to react to his anti-social behavior. Just ignore it, and encourage everyone else to also. Certainly if he runs to bite their hand they have to move their hand, but they should avoid any other reaction like fear or anger.

 

[Yire]

I forgot to mention he's a cinnamon green cheek. They were selling him as a pineapple conure, but his colors aren't very bright like those of a pineapple conure. I don't really trust pet stores when it comes to naming their color mutations.

So it's perfectly normal for him to be so attached to me? The only times he ever screams is when I leave the room. Not always, but sometimes he does.

 

[Auggie's Dad]

Perfectly normal yes. But that doesn't mean it's a good thing. Its something we should all work to minimize in our birds as if we can avoid such over-attachment it can make both our lives and theirs much easier and happier.

But is is not ABNORMAL in the sense of suggesting any kind of disorder whether physical or behavioral.

So - I would certainly consider it something to work on, but don't be concerned that its a sign of any underlying problems. Work to change it, but be patient with it as it is a common (perhaps even 'natural') conure behavior.

 

[Auggie's Dad]

I suppose potty training might be an appropriate analogy. You want your babies (human, avian, or otherwise) to learn to go at the appropriate time and place; but you can't get mad at a newborn (or newly hatched) for peeing all over you.

--- Yes, I do use weird analogies ---

 

[Yire]

Sorry I wasn't clear, but I meant an unhealthy attachment. I'm not mad that he's the way he is, it's pretty damn cute, but I don't want him to get stressed out if I just don't happen to be around at the moment.

How would I work to change something like that? Just gradually increase some time away from him? I'm only at work 3 days a week for 4-6 hours and school is in the morning for two- three hours at most, so I'm with him most of the time. I wouldn't spend days away from him or anything, but maybe not carry him every single time he wants me to?

 

[Auggie's Dad]

I wouldn't recommend intentionally taking time away from him, though not taking him with you every time you walk away is good. But more important is for him to learn to accept / interact with other people.

I'd think of it less as dealing with separation anxiety and more of improving socialization.

 

[Yire]

Those were some great suggestions! Thank you!

 

[Spiritbird]

AD Woould it help Yire if the bird met other members of the family in neurtal territory such as another room where the bird is not used to? This may change the obsessive response somewhat.

 

[Auggie's Dad]

Absolutely. Neutral territory is a great idea.

 

[Beatriz Cazeneuve]

Attachement is normal but what you have here is not. This bird regards you as her/his mate (his defending you from his mother and the love bites are typical mate behaviors) and that is a problem. Not so much for you because he will love you to pieces (although those love bites can really hurt!), but for him because he will never get any satisfaction or fulfillment out the relationship. Mind you, this is not because of anything you might or might have done or do in the future! It's because people cannot be birds. We cannot be there 24/7/365 like a bird mate would, and we can't replicate the breeding behaviors (feed/sex/nest/lay/raise young) with them.

This attachment was born of two things:
1. the fact that the bird has been producing sexual hormones for way too long (the 24/7 lights have screwed up his endocrine system big time!)
2. you were the ONLIEST being giving him any love whatsoever.

To correct number the first point you need to make him stop producing sexual hormones and, for that, you need to keep him to a STRICT natural daylight schedule (no lights on before the sun is up and sleep after the sun sets with full exposure to dawn and dusk -meaning no artificial lights on while they are happening). You should also reduce his protein intake and avoid touching him in ways that would stimulate him (putting him inside your shirt -dark places are nesting places; touching his back or his belly; etc).

As for the second point, socializing him with your family is the way to go but he seems to be in high dander to me and this might not prove to be feasible at this point in time. Hormonal birds are not usually very receptive to social encounters, all they want to do is be with their mate and would, in most cases, regard anybody else as potential competition so you will have to play it by ear on that.

 

[Yire]

I've tried getting him to socialize in the other room with my parents, but he spends his time being defensive and trying to look for hiding places on me. (I.E inside my shirt, under my hair, on my shoulder, anywhere)


I didn't know birds produced sexual hormones even before sexual maturity. He's been hiding in my shirt for as long as I can remember! I just thought they liked to hide in creases and other tight places. He even leans his back against my hand to rest on it. Is it still okay to scratch his head?

The light poses as a bit of a problem for me. The safest place for him is in my room, which is where I am present most of the time. I didn't want to keep him away from me because he gets so upset, but sometimes I'm doing work at night. I have a night lamp I could turn on, so it's still pretty dark instead of being pitch black. Does that mean I'm not supposed to have any contact with him after it gets dark? No one is asleep by 6 or 7 so the rest of the house is still noisy and lit.

 

[Spiritbird]

Parrot need to sleep well or they are grumpy. The books I have read say as much sleep in the night as awake in the day. Good sleep means no TV noises or no bright lights. Might be your problems - he is seeking out places near you that are dark to sleep (your shirt). Something to think about anyway.

 

[Auggie's Dad]

SB is absolutely right that they need a lot of sleep. But tunneling into shirts or other such places need not have anything to do with that - this is a VERY common conure behavior; they love to 'dig' and tunnel into things.

 

[Yire]

I guess he can spend the day inside my room and then the evening outside with the lovebirds and parakeets. They all start screaming at each other, like if they're screaming obscenities. Do they just need to get to know each other? I don't mean in the same cage, they all have their separate cages, but they're near each other.

 

[Beatriz Cazeneuve]

Birds in captivity mature earlier than birds in the wild due to the formula we feed them when babies (very rich and made with soy which has estrogenic properties -this means that it affects bodies the same as estrogen, a sexual hormone).

And yes, like I told you, socialization is a must but, right now, he is not really 'open' to it because he doesn't want anybody interfering between him and you, that's why he gets all defensive with your parents.

As to the light schedule, you can keep him in your room as long as you keep the artificial lights off until he falls asleep once night comes. You can then cover his cage completely with a thick and opaque cloth so no light filters through (a bit from the bottom is OK) and do your work (try to point your lamp in the opposite direction of where his cage is). Then, once you finish and are ready to go to bed, turn off the light and carefully uncover his cage (you don't want to scare him) so he gets the benefit of dawn the following morning. I know a lot of people who do this and it works out fine for them and their birds.

 

[Bobbieray]

HI,

I had a conure with the same "you are mine and no one else's" attitude.
We tried different things to get her comfortable with other people but nothing worked. We gave up and simply let her do her thing. She would also bite me if anyone approached me while she was on my shoulder. My husband thought it was funny so he would deliberatly antagonize her. I wanted to shoot him more then once!
One day my husband decided to take her with him to a friends house. Needless to say, she flew up into the trees. All that day I wandered around the property looking for her and calling her. I was really upset. The following day my husband went back to look for her. They spotted her up in a huge oak tree. He climbed all the way up the tree as she waited for him, when he reached out to get her she bit him! He managed to get her down and he returned home with her. When I walked into the room she immediately flew to me and never left me again. I don't know why she claimed me that day except that she had heard me calling her all day long.
Her name was Max and I lost her very suddenly. It was like losing a family member. It's been over a year and I still don't deal with it very well. I would love to get another one but cost prohibites that. So love your little guy and be happy he chose you! It is a wondrful relationship. Even if it hurts now and then..

Bobbieray