My trip and Sailor ... (long)

[Deanna]

My trip and Sailor (this will be long—and probably contorted) …

Ok, so I am leaving for Denver (to my parents) on Thursday afternoon. My meeting with them (and possibly my sister/her family) will be the first time since Sailor’s (Parrotlet’s) death.

I’ve mentioned on the forum that I owned my own business (requiring 24/7/365) for three and nearly ½ years. During that time, I felt that Sailor was not receiving the attention that he needed. My nephew (of my only sister) is an animal lover through and through—IMO he was born to be a vet or biologist. Working somewhere where animal’s welfare’s were involved. Anyway, so I talked extensively with him and his mother about the possibility of them taking Sailor in to offer him a good, loving home with more time than I had to offer. Everything was set. (Or, so I thought). (There was one SPOKEN stipulation—when my nephew couldn’t or wouldn’t care for Sailor, Sailor was to come directly home to me, no ifs ands or buts).

January 4th, I took Sailor over (250 miles) to my nephew and it was love at first sight. (That truly, truly eased my troubled heart). In the ensuing days, Sailor, very rapidly, plucked himself naked (except his head). Now, where my sister lives, resides the BEST avian vet in the entire state (I, or we all, should be so lucky as to have a competent, caring vet 15 minutes away!!!)—I begged her (from my home 250 miles away) to take Sailor to him, he needed immediate medical attention. She disregarded me and took Sailor to her own vet “that knew a little” about birds. He dx’d Sailor with Giardia and put him on Metronidozole (Now, as a side note, being where I live, I know multitudes about Giardia and that was NOT the proper dx). I tried my hardest to open up my schedule, but was unable to make a trip to go get him until January 24th. I rushed as soon as I could and got him—it was MY mistake to not take him to that avian vet; by my estimate we would make it home (that same day) to see my own avian vet who had been aprised of the situation and was expecting us. Sailor died 30 miles from my hospital. My husband said Sailor was doomed long before I went to pick him up—I just don’t know.

I was a wreck for a long while after Sailor passed. I do not know the cause of his passing; we buried (or, I should say, I performed a blessing and had my husband bury him) him in the strawberry patch at the front porch. I buried him with an amulet offering safety in passage and his favorite bell.

I still get shook up when I think about this. But, this is the reason I write. My trip to my parents may very well put me face to face with my sister with whom I’ve not spoken to since Sailor died. …Actually, I made two good faith attempts to contact her at the very end of January; since then, though, we’ve not either one of us made any attempt to communicate.

So … while this trip is about my father, my worry for him and his well-being – I fear any kind of confrontation with my sister. It is volitile at best with her.

Rest in Peace baby Sailor. He was only two years old. He was so very, very personable and I taught him how to talk. He would talk me to slumber during my afternoon rest times between appointments. God, I miss him; and, I blame myself tremendously.

 

[indigo]

omg ..

If I hadn't sweat out all my bodily moisture I'd be crying right now. Poor poor Sailor. Please don't blame yourself; you did what, at the time, was best for him, and if anyone should feel badly, then it aught to be your sister for being a neglectful (edited for content and to abide by forum rules). I do not blame you at all for being hesitant and anxious about seeing her again, and honestly she's lucky I am not her sister (you) right now.

(((((((((((((Deanna)))))))))))))))

Go for your father, if she (your sister) tries anything, then tell her to kindly either shut her trap or leave the room, and if she won't, then you do it. Your father will know you are there even if you are not in the immediate room. If you can, then maybe ask your mother to ask sister to give you some time with your father if this happens.

Again though, I am sending all the good energy to you and your father.

 

[birdcrazy]

wow ironically my uncle and aunt are both in a hospital in Denver right now - I gues it's a small world after all.

 

[Christy]

That is such a sad story Deanna. It is difficult to lose a friend, and your situation makes it even more so. Good luck with your trip.

 

[Deanna]

Thank you, baby Sailor was very special to me. I only wanted the best for him.

I've received information that my nephews will be at my parents home Thursday early evening (hence, so will my sister ); so, I worked out to not arrive until 7:30-8pm that evening hoping to miss them. I didn't want to open Pandora's Box by asking if my sister would be at the hospital on Friday--so, for that, I will have to wait and see. My return plans (totally depending upon the results of the angiogram and further necessary procedures) are to return promptly Saturday morning. (If something goes wrong, I will be prepared to stay much longer, but I'm hoping against that, of course).

Oh lord, it is hot here and I am very tired (and tired from worry about my father and angst/anticipation about my sister). It all, again, as I've written brings it all to the forefront about Sailor and I grieve all over again.

Just hoping that my father pulls through this better than new and I can come home to my loving family without incident with my sister. Nothing less than contentious

 

[indigo]

Don't allow her to mess it up for you Deanna. If it becomes too stressful, remove yourself a moment and regather your own self.

 

[Deanna]

By the way, the pic in my signature is of Sailor, my beloved Parrotlet. Oh, how I miss him so. *cry*

 

[Deanna]

Don't allow her to mess it up for you Deanna. If it becomes too stressful, remove yourself a moment and regather your own self.

I think we posted at the same time...

Thanks indigo ... I treasure your advise and wisdom. Thanks! :60:

 

[indigo]

((((((((((Deanna))))))))))

 

[Peta]

Deanna,

This trip is for your Dad, you go there remembering that and thinking of all the good times you had with Sailor, all the silly things he did, and all the wonderful things he did. Let no one take this time away from you, your Dad and Sailor.

 

[Deanna]

Thank you ((((all)))) for such thoughful input.

I am very tired tonight. I believe that I suffered heat exhaustion at work today and I am just now getting back to a feeling of being "ok" from it. (I work in an unventilated warehouse ... where the filing cabinets are ... I have a little fan, but it just blows hot air; I drink as much fluids as I can, but today, the heat and humidity just seemed to over take me).

I totally mucked up my interview this morning ... the least of my worries.

I'm trying to prepare for my trip to Denver. Just realized that it may require me to stay beyond Saturday (which I was not anticipating). The blood between my sister and I is bad and runs deep; the longer I stay, the longer the chance happening of something going south fast.

I'm just going to stay focused on my father (the reason for me being there) and will remove myself from the immediate area should my sister be present and things look like they will sour quickly.

My very good friend always reminds me that you have the ability to chose your friends, not your family. With that being true, I must find a way to co-exist (and keep myself out of harms way, while doing so).

 

[Peta]

My very good friend always reminds me that you have the ability to chose your friends, not your family.

That is so very very true.

Wil be thinking of you, and will be sending messages to your brain, that should things look like they are turning sour, walk away. So don't mind those voices in your head they'll be me.

 

[Deanna]

That is so very very true.

Wil be thinking of you, and will be sending messages to your brain, that should things look like they are turning sour, walk away. So don't mind those voices in your head they'll be me.

dang, wish i would have read this before i left! i thought i was going nutso hallucinating!!!

 

[Peta]

That was definately me! Hope things went well for you.

 

[Deanna]

Hi there ya'all! I'm baaaack! LOL

Just a short (very, Cliff Notes version, short) update:

I arrived in Denver to find that the doctor had just phoned my father to tell him that (even though off Coumaden for 4 days) his blood remained too dangerously thin to do the angiogram (as per scheduled yesterday).

My father has had much anxiety (no wonder) and began again last evening to have chest pains and shortness of breath. Against my advice, they did not call the doctor.

Much stress/distress among my family members in interactions ... so, decided to come home very, very early this morning and wait here at my home with my husband and furby/fiddies for the next decision as to how to proceed.

I'm tremendously worried for my father, but my presence there was apparently not needed. I simply told them to call when they want me.

 

[Peta]

decided to come home very, very early this morning and wait here at my home with my husband and furby/fiddies for the next decision as to how to proceed.

That seems like a good idea, Its horrible being so helpless at times like these, you are all in my thoughts.

 

[birdcrazy]

i know about the feeling my other grandma had a aortic angerism (SP) that is growing and she refuses to have it taken care of.