My Dilemma

[Harlequin40]

Hi, I'm new here. I don't have a parrot....yet.

So here's my dilemma. I love birds. I've had smaller parrots like a cherry headed conure and cockatiel. I've never been in a position or lifestyle to afford a large parrot. Welp, now I am. I have the time, space, and means to dedicate to a parrot. Only one problem, I'm scared of being bit.

I handled a 9 week old African Grey the other day. Let him naw on my hands, no problemo. The truth is I'm a big guy with tough rugged hands. Heck, I even have a high tolerance for pain. But those big beaks. My fear is, I get a young African Grey, work with it, it goes into the terrible two's and then I get nailed, sending my relationship downhill and reinforcing my fear of that beak. Then the bird stays in the cage and the viscous cycle of being unhandled begins and I lose the bond that I've built since the time the bird was too young to intimidate me.

Am I just not cut out to own and care for a parrot as a life long pet?

 

[texsize]

For the most part being bitten is part of being a parront. You cam minimize it by training the bird and yourself (bite pressure training for the bird and learning how to read body language for your self).
A lot of people can help you out here. For instance even when they are young you don't want to encourage them to bite you, even gently.

It's my theory (only a theory) that the birds can tell when you are scared of that beak. Once they know they can intimidate you they WILL intimidate you.
That's just my $.02

I have been bitten many times. Most of the time I could have avoided it if I had paid more attention to what my bird was trying to tell me.
Even so I enjoy there company and would not want any other "pet" as a companion.

I guess you should go with what you feel comfortable with. As beautiful as a macaw is I could never own one. I would be to focused on that beak and what it could do.
texsize

 

[chris-md]

What texize said.

To be blunt and wholly truthful: You'll get bit, accept it and move on, or just move on. You can minimize the occurences through training and learning your birds body language since most bite are broadcasted quite clearly, unless you have an eclectus. Even then you'll learn soon enough to read their more subtle signs.

You can also minimize the damage by minimizing...well, the bird itself. I DREAM of a larger macaw, but that beak...I've been bitten by my ekkie many times and I realize I can handle those bites, I don't fear them much anymore. They hurt but When you compare it to what a macaw three times his size can do, Suddenly an ekkie bite doesn't seem so bad.

Plus they are the perfect size for using a thick fleece glove when they are going through a difficult period and you're certain you'll be bitten. It's a trick I use if I have to handle my boy when he is insanely hormonally aggressive. It still feels like my finger is being slammed between two anvils but I'm not cut or otherwise damaged. It's manageable. I can't do that with something larger like a macaw.

If you want bigger but are overly scared of bites, I think a medium sized parrot such as lilac crowned Amazon, eclectus, or African grey might actually be exactly what you need.

 

[Scott]

Welcome to the forums, thanks for joining! We always strive to share information, balanced between bluntness and honesty.

Having a companion bird(s) will inevitably lead to biting, ranging from a gentle nip to a serious bite that can require sutures. You may be lucky and never receive anything more than a firm tap as "discipline."

Check out this link to a discussion of macaw beaks, written by a passionate and legendary man: http://www.parrotforums.com/macaws/56384-big-beak-o-phobes-guide-understanding-macaw-beaks.html

 

[itchyfeet]

Of all the birds I've worked with, my brothers 'tiel gave me my worst bite!
Where are you located? Are there any sanctuaries around? OR other people with bigger parrots?
You'll get used to it....obviously with bite pressure training, reading your birds signals etc it's hopeful that you rarely experience a good bite, but also - overcoming the fear through practising handling bigger birds might be the difference between your dream bird and your 'settling' bird.
Good Luck!

 

[Harlequin40]

At this point, as much as I want one, if I can't convince myself to have the intestinal fortitude to absorb a bite, I'm not going to get a parrot. I don't want to be that owner that comes here for advice after a year of ownership, knowing full well the bird is heading to a shelter.

I want a "lovely" cuddly bird that I work with on a daily basis to maintain the bond. I can take a whack, I just don't want to. I was at a bird store the other day and in front of an Amazon. The owner said go ahead and put your hand out after he picked up the bird. I kind of did, but I was hanging my hand out with fear emminating from my pours with the bird staring at me with a look that said "just a little closer and that pointer finger is mine....". I didn't hold the bird. Disappointed in myself I decided to register and post before I go any further in the buying process. I have no problem, mind you, with a little African Grey.

I met another guy who has 2 Macaws and he has big gashes taken out of his arms. They are scarred over, but I don't want the kind of commitment that allows a bird to mutilate my body. That is not the kind of love and companionship I want in a pet or am willing to cope with... I just don't know. As beautiful as they are, I don't want to admire my parrot from afar for 40 years if you know what I mean and I'm just not sure if I won't end up in that place. And I also read the greys are not good with children. I'm not sure what that means. I guess why would any bird be good with kids, but I thought it interesting that I've read that opinion specifically about African greys.

And I've read about bite pressure training. It doesn't seem like training. It seems like a natural reaction to getting chomped down on. They bite, it hurts, I yell. I wish I could say that gave me peace of mind, but I think I would be great at bite pressure training without taking the class, if you know what I mean.

 

[chris-md]

It's less about having the "intestinal fortitude to absorb the bite" as it is "I know I will get bitten". If you have this big a fear, maybe a smaller conure would be more appropriate.

 

[ParrotLover2001]

I too am scared of being bit, after my lovebird broke my skin, I've been scared.

You might want a smaller bird if you're scared, and hand raised babies don't bite as hard.
I've had 3 hand raised birds and they never bit me, but that's just my experience.
Hand raise baby birds are less likely to bite while they are young, but they might start biting when hormonal or just want some space.





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[Harlequin40]

The more I read my posts and the responses, the more I'm starting to think a large parrot may not be the best pet for me. I guess there are bird handlers and bird watchers. I will give it some more thought, but I think I might be a bird watcher. Some bird feeders and a pair of binoculars might be more in line with my fear of the beak. Oh well.

The other thing that was bothering me was the price driving. Birds don't seem to be as common as they were to find 20 years ago. You have to search pretty hard to find a walk in shop. And even then, there's little competition so the prices of babies are very very high.

 

[sonja]

Thank you for questioning your limits before getting a bird! That is unfortunately very rare and it is always the bird who pays when those limits become apparent later on.

How about volunteering at a rescue to see if birds are for you? You can meet a wide variety of birds and learn tons about their behavior before committing to a lifetime.

There are also other types of pet birds that don't pack the punch of a large parrot - like doves, finches, etc. I know they are not macaws, but perhaps you would enjoy them anyway. I happen to think many of the finches are just beautiful.

 

[Doublete]

My conure hardly bites (he was hand raised) and when he does it doesn't leave a mark.

My amazon (don't know her background) always tells me through clear body language and as long as I'm paying attention... I won't get bitten... so I don't.

My new little parrotlet... handraised... and he Hurts. Bites HARD.

The bigger guys have very clear body language. Read it and pay attention and respect it.

 

[chris-md]

Birds aren't that uncommon, people are more starting to go to breeders for their birds than shops. Plus the hundreds of thousands of birds in shelters and rescues. Don't have to look too far to find birds.

 

[trimblegirls]

I have a green cheek conure and an Congo African Grey. Of the two, I would say that my Grey is much much easier to read and is more vocal to tell me he doesn't like or is afraid of something. I didn't raise Jasper. I got him from a rescue. He's 9. I didn't have to deal with the terrible twos. Sure I missed out on his cute baby stage but even after all he's been through, he still wants to love. We have developed a strong bond because I've earned his trust. He doesn't care for my husband. He growls at him if he gets too close. So my husband doesn't. Which is interesting because his main person was the husband in his old family. My daughter tries but hasn't put in any work to win Jasper over so he tells her no by beaking at her.

My Green Cheek Tillie is something else. She's very hormonal now. Flies off the handle in literally less than a second. She full on attacks, repeatedly goes after any flesh in site. And it hurts. Then in less than a minute, is sweet again and wants to be held. We joke and call her Sybil. She's definitely a patience builder.

I would suggest going to a rescue and hanging out or volunteering. They are wonderful parrots who just need a break. That's how I ended up with Tillie. I was actually looking for a Grey. They didn't have any at the time. I kept coming back, just to hang out. Every time I went, she'd fly on me and not want to leave. This was before we entered breeding season and she was always sweet. I was nervous before I got Jasper but after having Tillie for awhile, I knew it'd be fine.

Good Luck!

 

[Flboy]

Prices vary tremendously! Our local Petco has a blue Quaker($750) and a 'fancy' GCC($450). 20 miles up the road, a mom and pop pet store raise their own birds, a blue Quaker($300), pineapple GCC($250)! And their birds are incredibly friendly! I was able to even pick up the bungees and play with them!

 

[itzjbean]

I too, share the same fears of large beaks from that of macaws and toos, though they are my dream birds, I have only experienced conures, cockatiels and parakeet beaks. Very rarely was blood drawn, as my conure was bonded to me and picked me as his person, though he really hated my boyfriend and wouldn't hesitate chomping down on his fingers if he got too close.

And I totally understand the whole wanting a pet that cuddles with you, interacts and loves you (like a dog or cat) and not just an animal that you admire from afar in a corner for the rest of its life. When people talk about their large parrots and not being able to handle them, it just confuses me. How is that worth it, if you can't even touch your bird without getting bit or lunged at?

But then again, you can't make a bird be what you want it to be. Birds, first and foremost, are wild animals. They have pride, and demand respect. Parrots like macaws were meant to be flying in the Amazon Rainforest, free and in flocks, eating nuts and fruit and bugs. So you have to take into consideration that birds like macaws just aren't going to be like Fluffy your little Yorkie dog or a cute kitty cat. However, with training, love, patience and proper socialization these birds can become well-mannered pets and loving members of the family.

 

[Harlequin40]

Thank you for all the responses and feedback.

I realize that when I see a bird cuddling with an owner on YouTube, there were probably bites that came with the training involved to build that trust. And I'm sure it has a lot to do with the individual personality of the bird and experience of the trainer/owner when it comes to the probability of building that great relationship.

I admire it and want it for myself. I honestly just don't have anyone with a large bird to help me get over that fear. My fear is tangeable when I am in that moment of putting the hand out there to perch on. The bird knows and it and if I were the bird I wouldn't want to climb onto someone with so little confidence. It's ironic, because I shouldn't want a parrot given my apprehension. But I do.

I am just mature enough at this stage in my life to not make the mistake to end up with a regret and I don't want to put a bird in that position because it's just being a bird.....and I'm the problem. So many birds end up in these sanctuaries for this reason I'm sure. They are just so darned cute and interesting. And then there's the talking and interacting with tricks. That intelligence just gets me drooling for one of my own. I really like African Greys and Eclectus parrots. The Eclectus seems more in tune with my personality, but they seem like they require an expert to keep them.

 

[Harlequin40]

Ok I wanted to surmise the root of my dilemma.

I am worried that I will buy a young parrot, get close to it and be able to cope with the nibling, only to have it go through a hormonal change, get aggressive, and give me a good bite. Than I am afraid of it as if it were an unfamiliar bird to me and I lose that bond as time goes by without handling it. There doesn't seem to be bird whisperers out there that come to the home to realign a relationship if it goes sour. If there were, I might be more inclined to make the commitment. Heck, the little AG split my finger and I didn't avoid the beak at all. Didn't bother me.

Technically, I'm not concerned with right now, I'm concerned about 2 years from now. I'm willing to work with the bird for 1-2 hours a day. I'm good with routine and pets in general. We have a cat and I take good care of it. It's my kids cat but I cook for her and am always there to feed, provide clean water, change litter and take her to the vet. We have a good bond eventhough she's the kids cat. She knows I'm the caretaker and rewards me for it. But cats are easy and in no way am I trying to compare it to the needs of a full sized parrot, which I'm sure is more challenging with a steeper learning curve. I'm just pointing out my stick-to-it-iveness.

 

[itzjbean]

You share the same fears I do as a potential macaw-owner someday. After reading some of the stories on here, I am scared out of my wits that I will have the same hormone-induced biting and aggression.

I'll tell you a story. After I bred my cockatiel pair in May, I placed the empty nest box on top of my desk and let my birds out to fly around the room, as they love to do. The male, still in breeding mode, saw the nest box on top of my desk and flew to it. When I began to approach to move the nest box, he suddenly dive-bombed and attacked me. Up until this point, he had been super friendly with me, perching on ym shoulder and preening me. But this was now a devil bird. I was finally able to get him back in his cage after a few minutes, but I was visibly shaken, upset and just terrified of this small bird. It was entirely my fault for keeping the nest box in site, and I should've placed it in another room.

I was too scared to take him out of his cage after that. And any time I got close to his cage, he lunged at me, prepared to bite. Maybe he could tell I was still terrified of him. But eventually, I realized that these were hormones, and I had made a mistake in my judgment. It was not personal. He was a daddy protecting his nest. And you know what? He came around again. It took a solid two months before he stopped lunging as I approached the cage, but I didn't give up on him. I worked with the pair of them, getting closer and closer to them as I gave them treats, first through the bars of the cage, then placing my hand into the cage. They now both eat spray millet out of my hand and will step up, and it's like nothing ever happened. I definitely learned from the mistakes I made, and when you get your parrot, you will too.

 

[GaleriaGila]

I like your honesty and openness to input!
I wish all people were as careful and considerate as you!

 

[texsize]

As others have said spending some time at a bird rescue or shelter would be a big help. They can help teach you body language and how to approach a bird and lessen the chance that they will bite. How you hold your hand can also lessen the damage caused by a bite.

The hardest thing for me is handling my YNA Bingo after a particularly bad bite.
I give him some time out and usually wait a day before handling him again. Picking him up after that is always hard but I try to remember the bumper sticker's that said "No Fear".

I got a bad bite about 2 weeks ago, my index finger left hand. When there was just scar tissue my Bingo would "beak" that area and I swear it's his way of saying he was sorry for what he did.

texsize