My dad won't listen - I need help.

[GlitchTown]

Sammy is a Sun Conure, and as many know, his screams are loud. Me and my dad can handle his screaming, but the issue is that the rest of my family isn't too fond of it if it happens too much for too long. We don't have time to take him out all day every day. When in his cage for too long, he gets louder as time goes on. My dad has a terribly wrong mindset. When Sammy screams, my dad takes him out. His justification to this is that it makes him stop screaming. While this is true, it just makes him scream a whole lot more in the future. This absolutely doesn't help especially sense we don't have all that much time with him. The effects are showing, he seems to be screaming almost double as much. Even when my dad doesn't take him out, he just goes over to the cage and shakes his finger at him and says "stop squaking!"or scares him with a toy trex. I try to tell him that the best thing to do is to completely ignore it, but he's being annoyingly stubborn. He probably Thinks it's some superstition but I can't get him to believe me. I know he doesn't mind his screaming but he has to know other people can't tolerate it. His screams as of late has been rocking my patience - my dad's too.

What can I do? Please help. All I've been doing is covering his cage every time he screams but he continues relentlessly. Sorry if I seem worn, as of this writing I haven't taken my anti depressants in at least 4 days because I'm stupid. My entire family is over, Sammy is screeching, and I had a terrible day at work.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

 

[PetoftheDay]

Where is Sammy's cage? Does anyone else in the family have time to interact with him? Does he have tis and things to do to keep him busy? How old is he?

 

[GlitchTown]

Where is Sammy's cage? Does anyone else in the family have time to interact with him? Does he have tis and things to do to keep him busy? How old is he?

His cage is in the living room. Absolutely no one else other than my dad or me want to take him out. I have work and school. As of late has destroyed all his toys and I'm waiting to get new toys, but of course my dad is stubborn. He's about 7 months

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

 

[Flboy]

You are absolutely right! Your dad is teaching him to scream! We went through this with our first baby, Tango! She screamed, we took her out. We cooked supper, she screamed, we took her out. We were eating something, she screamed, we took her out. Guess what? She always screamed if she was in her cage! What a surprise!
And a Sun is so much louder if in the mood!

 

[GlitchTown]

You are absolutely right! Your dad is teaching him to scream! We went through this with our first baby, Tango! She screamed, we took her out. We cooked supper, she screamed, we took her out. We were eating something, she screamed, we took her out. Guess what? She always screamed if she was in her cage! What a surprise!
And a Sun is so much louder if in the mood!

Definitely, he's getting to the point where he screams every time he's in his cage. My dad doesn't understand that he's enforcing this... It's too bad

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

 

[wrench13]

Have your dad stop by The Forum and read a few threads on screaming parrots. I am sure he will be convinced.

 

[Flboy]

You are absolutely right! Your dad is teaching him to scream! We went through this with our first baby, Tango! She screamed, we took her out. We cooked supper, she screamed, we took her out. We were eating something, she screamed, we took her out. Guess what? She always screamed if she was in her cage! What a surprise!
And a Sun is so much louder if in the mood!

Definitely, he's getting to the point where he screams every time he's in his cage. My dad doesn't understand that he's enforcing this... It's too bad

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

In defense of your dad, neither did I!

 

[MangoMuttonChops]

Have your dad stop by The Forum and read a few threads on screaming parrots. I am sure he will be convinced.

Good idea!

 

[MangoMuttonChops]

All I've been doing is covering his cage every time he screams but he continues relentlessly.

I would also think this it's very counter productive and would possibly sadden him. Maybe it's just me, idk, but imagine being maybe bored or lonely and you have to expel your pent up energy so you cry out and scream. Imagine your life like that every day and It not changing and then being blindfolded all the time because you cry out...you'd be real sad.

Maybe it's just me I could be way wrong.


Good luck!

 

[GlitchTown]

All I've been doing is covering his cage every time he screams but he continues relentlessly.

I would also think this it's very counter productive and would possibly sadden him. Maybe it's just me, idk, but imagine being maybe bored or lonely and you have to expel your pent up energy so you cry out and scream. Imagine your life like that every day and It not changing and then being blindfolded all the time because you cry out...you'd be real sad.

Maybe it's just me I could be way wrong.


Good luck!

Oh, god... All I want is for Sam to have a good life... if it were in my ability, I would have him out and with me all day every day... But when you say it that way I realise how I might be neglecting that... I feel terrible. I don't know where to go from here.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

 

[Scott]

I empathize with a rather difficult predicament. Your free time is restricted, and Sammy is caught between two parronting styles. Given the tension, he will likely continue screaming unless the cycle is adjusted. Quality of time is as important as quantity; if you can give him some concentrated attention at the same time your dad revises his tactics, you may quickly change Sammy's behavior.

Have you tried "clicker" training? http://www.parrotforums.com/training/60435-clicker-target-training.html
Some find it valuable for a range of issues.

Don't forget to take care of yourself! Your age is one of great stress and challenge. You bought Sammy to be a bright spot in your world, and every effort to quiet the worst of his screaming is worthy!

Good luck, let us know how things develop!!

 

[clark_conure]

So.........

When you "let him out" is does that mean out to sit on someones shoulder or can he be placated just having the cage open and crawling around on it.

There's very little I can't do with my GCC on my shoulder around the house that I wouldn't do otherwise. When there is; I just set him on the back of the couch or on top of his cage while I go do it.

Oh your dad is encouraging the behavior, true, but that doesn't mean we can't work together and find a solution.

Is he fine if you just open the door or is he still loud, does he fly over or fly down and walk over; and won't sit on the cage?

You said you have work and school, is your dad home more? Is the rest of your family afraid of the bird or just don't like him or?

I would almost say stop covering the cage especially if it's in the living room, because he can still hear you. If he can see everyone is just sitting about and doing nothing much he might be less inclined to be "I KNOW YOUR OUT THERE!!! COME GET ME YOU $&*#TI's" Maybe move the cage to your bedroom? I would initially be against that, the cage should e in a family area usually but if it's an extreme cir-cum stance....

Fill us in with a little more details....sometimes something pops out, like OHHHHH your doing this, you should do that....other than the obvious dad thing....

 

[LordTriggs]

there's one thing here that extremely worries me and upsets me.

Your dad is at times purposely scaring Sammy with the toy. I know what I would do if someone tried that with my pet and it would involve me shouting a lot louder than Sammy could.

you have to sit down and explain it to him and make him change his ways and tell him if he doesn't stop you'll no longer let him look after Sammy, it will only get worse if he continues until such a point Sammy becomes a full time screamer and potentially progresses through to more aggressive behavior

 

[MangoMuttonChops]

Oh I meant not to make you feel bad. I'm sorry it sounded that way.

 

[itzjbean]

The excessive screaming is likely caused by 1) not enough quality out of cage time, 2) not being included in family activities, and 3) being let out when he screams is teaching him to scream MORE.

The key to getting him to scream less is going to take time and patience from both you and your family to work to fix this. Your dad needs to understand that he is enabling your sun to continue to scream if he lets him out while he is screaming, just like a crying toddler wanting to be let out.

Let me ask you this... how is his quality of life? What kind of time is he getting out of the cage every day, what is his diet like, does he have a lot of toys to chew up in his cage, does he get a lot of interaction with not only you but other people?

Birds need to be challenged and played with and socialized on a daily basis, especially suns, or they do tend to have behavioral problems like screaming and overbonding to one person. To curb this, you'll need to start doing a few things.

1. Get the entire family on board with socializing your sun. Your sun should be handled by everyone in the family and should be able to step up to everyone. This is essential for getting your sun to not overbond with you.

2. Your sun should be challenged daily by training with you (to step up, turn around, flight recall, bite pressure training), along with being kept occupied by foraging toys or toys that can be chewed up. Otherwise they WILL get bored and will start getting worse with the screaming. Training should be going on daily for a few minutes every session, a couple times a day.

3. Boundary setting/curbing the unwanted behavior - assuming you and your family do play with your sun enough and it is not bored, it will probably keep screaming even when you put it back in the cage. The bird has learned to scream to get what it wants, so you need to train your sun out of this behavior. This can be done with time-outs. Remove your sun and place him in a carrier, in a dark place (like a bathroom) until he settles down. Note that this should not be done with a bored bird (it will just continue to keep screaming for attention) but if you are giving him opportunities for training and play time and giving lots of attention, he needs to learn when enough is enough, and time-outs in a room with no one else on the ground in a carrier should make him realize over time that screaming is not acceptable! When he stops screaming (it may take a little while), that is when you place him back in his cage and give him treats and attention. Over time he will learn that screaming results in a time-out in the dark place where I can't see anyone.

of course, all of this will only work with your entire family's help and patience on this. It is possible to get his screaming behavior turned around, but first you need to address the issues of his boredom. Get him good quality time out of the cage (at least a few hours a day), keep up with training and socializing, and he should turn around!!

 

[GlitchTown]

The excessive screaming is likely caused by 1) not enough quality out of cage time, 2) not being included in family activities, and 3) being let out when he screams is teaching him to scream MORE.

The key to getting him to scream less is going to take time and patience from both you and your family to work to fix this. Your dad needs to understand that he is enabling your sun to continue to scream if he lets him out while he is screaming, just like a crying toddler wanting to be let out.

Let me ask you this... how is his quality of life? What kind of time is he getting out of the cage every day, what is his diet like, does he have a lot of toys to chew up in his cage, does he get a lot of interaction with not only you but other people?

Birds need to be challenged and played with and socialized on a daily basis, especially suns, or they do tend to have behavioral problems like screaming and overbonding to one person. To curb this, you'll need to start doing a few things.

1. Get the entire family on board with socializing your sun. Your sun should be handled by everyone in the family and should be able to step up to everyone. This is essential for getting your sun to not overbond with you.

2. Your sun should be challenged daily by training with you (to step up, turn around, flight recall, bite pressure training), along with being kept occupied by foraging toys or toys that can be chewed up. Otherwise they WILL get bored and will start getting worse with the screaming. Training should be going on daily for a few minutes every session, a couple times a day.

3. Boundary setting/curbing the unwanted behavior - assuming you and your family do play with your sun enough and it is not bored, it will probably keep screaming even when you put it back in the cage. The bird has learned to scream to get what it wants, so you need to train your sun out of this behavior. This can be done with time-outs. Remove your sun and place him in a carrier, in a dark place (like a bathroom) until he settles down. Note that this should not be done with a bored bird (it will just continue to keep screaming for attention) but if you are giving him opportunities for training and play time and giving lots of attention, he needs to learn when enough is enough, and time-outs in a room with no one else on the ground in a carrier should make him realize over time that screaming is not acceptable! When he stops screaming (it may take a little while), that is when you place him back in his cage and give him treats and attention. Over time he will learn that screaming results in a time-out in the dark place where I can't see anyone.

of course, all of this will only work with your entire family's help and patience on this. It is possible to get his screaming behavior turned around, but first you need to address the issues of his boredom. Get him good quality time out of the cage (at least a few hours a day), keep up with training and socializing, and he should turn around!!

Well, to say the least, our lives are rapidly changing. Since being back in school, our hours of quality time have dropped significantly... there's only one person st home until 4:00, and he's too busy taking care of his son and could care less about sammy. I don't even think he has looked at him more than three times. He's my sister's boyfriend, they actually moved back in with us recently due to financial difficulty. My sister works all day, my dad works, I go to school, and my sister's boyfriend as I said doesn't care one bit. And that's the issue, no one else wants to take any initiative because they simply consider him as my bird, despite him being in the living room. But they're not entirely at fault, often times I don't want to take him out because I simply can't do anything as he is far too nippy and picky. This means that the only out of cage time he gets is often just rough housing with me or just kind of climbing on my shirt. This isn't very stimulating for him, and I feel bad. I just don't know what activities to do with him. Training seems difficult because like I said he is very nippy and picky and gets distracted often. And as much as I absolutely hate to say, for the past 3 weeks or so he's gone without any toys in his cage because my dad apparently doesn't feel like going out to get any, and he's my only ride and source of money right now. I do get paid on Friday though, in which I WILL buy him as much as I can. I keep up on his cage maintenance, though, if any plus can be given here. After making this post and seeing some of these responses, I've tried my absolute best to create a new rule for myself: when I'm home, he WILL be out of his cage. All the time. Recently he's gotten a lot of time on his playtop cage because of the aforementioned reasons as to why he's not directly with me all the time. I've started to, when I get home from school, simply opening the cage door and allowing him to come out at his discretion.

This all being said, it's obvious I need to improve. A lot. I'm definitely getting back into training sessions... But can anyone give me any other fun activities for him to do with me outside the cage?

And, thank you all. This forum has done nothing but help.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

 

[clark_conure]

YOU ARE AWESOME!

I read the preious posts and you seem to be doing well under A LOT of things that are simply outside your control.

It's easy fo rme I'm...holy **** I turned 40 and I have all the resources in the world, including this place to help me out. I cant imagine how you deal with it.


So...heres how you deal with it....you realize you love this bird....because you do, I Jut read about him from you and I kinda love him.

Read up about 4 posts, to my big letter can you try one of those.....move him to your room maybe...just answer the questions I asked and I think.... we may not be able to fix it, all the way, but we might be able to help it significantly...

 

[itzjbean]

Thanks for the reply Glitchtown and explaining everything. I will say (and you will probably agree) that owning a Sun Conure is not easy for someone who has school and work. That is why I generally don't recommend students get parrots like these, as they pretty much demand attention all day.

However, it is not impossible, if you are committed. We have members here that have owned birds since their college days and are now retired. It is not easy. It is not always fun, it is often times a huge challenge to balance it all. These birds becomes our children. They depend on us. They rely on us for enrichment and love. You have to really think hard, I mean really think...think about if you are giving him the best life he can have. At this time in your life, you are so busy and have so much going on, that sometimes it may be better for the bird to find a home that has the time and the money to buy toys, offer fresh fruits and veggies every single day of its life, and have time for quality play time. If you can't or don't have the time to help your bird and commit to him for 30 years every single day of your life, then it may be time to reconsider your commitment to this guy.

 

[dhraiden]

Glad to read of your commitment and compassion! At home time for me (even if I need/want to do others things) is outside-cage time for the fids. Enrichment is important, but so is not setting up bad feedback loops (scream = out). Good luck on working to find that balance. My fids call to me when I come in but generally have learned that continuing one with IMMEDIATE, LOUD SCREAMING =/= outside. It's a...slow process. That said, I believe they're pretty happy and content, especially as they get to be out all evening, on the weekends, etc etc.

 

[Scott]

I applaud your concern for Sammy and willingness to find solutions. Many at your age lack the maturity to care let alone consciously despair over the household situation.

Seems you're managing a closed-circle of issues that perpetuate Sammy's nippiness and lessened friendliness. Your idea to take him out more is excellent but may not be sufficient. This brings me to the controversial subject of clipping wings. Is Sammy clipped? Clipping can increase Sammy's sense of vulnerability and draw him closer to you, your dad, and perhaps the rest of the family. I don't suggest casually, but if you are willing and able to give him increased quality time, he may feel better accommodated. Another suggestion for closeness is to have him sleep in a cage near your bed. Is it possible to wheel the cage into your room at night? If you have a 2-story house with your room upstairs, perhaps a small "sleeping cage." Need not be elaborate, and many birds readily adapt to multi-cages.

Test case: One of my hand-fed Goffins was becoming rather nippy and aggressive. This persisted long enough I took him to the vet for a well-check, and my esteemed CAV suggested a one-time clip. Sure enough, he became more clingy and dropped his uncharacteristic nastiness. Nine months later, he is as sweet as ever and remains fully flighted.