My 8yr old Parrot Alexandrine Died :( help me please! :(

[imashish]

Ive had my beautiful parrot for 8yrs. His name was Mithu he used to be with a different family that just didn't care for him so I kept and adopted him & his female and he is with us from last 7 years.

we don't have kids due to my wife got an accident years ago, So she is not able to become natural mother. Se we adopted these 2 beautiful parrot couple. Was a happiness and joy of our life and they both completed our family.

Point is he died on March 6 around noon. It was so unexpected. he was fine the night before, I remember we were playing around. he would run around the floor and shouting or just hang around on my shoulder. But that noon of the 6th because of my father mistake the main door of our home got open for just few seconds and my father was gone to take some water so my parrot can play and bath, but a wild cat came inside in when my father just turned arround and suddenly attacked on him, while my parrot was playing on sofa in Living Room and attacked on him.

My father ran to save him but the wild cat alrady attacked on his neck and ran away. I got call while I was in office and I got shocked and felt like time just slipped away from my hands. My family tried as many as possibilites to save him, my wife and father tooked him to vet docter. They gave CPR and did many things to save him. I spent money like water to save him because he was my Son.

We failed !! Till date I'm feeling myself responsible for his death. Each and every day my mind and heart always want to found and hug him. Me, my wife and his female parrot stopped eating. I found myself guilty everytime.

We tried our best to change the mind of my female parrot and ourself. its 2 weeks now and my female parrot started eating little bit again. but most of the time she is in sadness. even she don't want to play with us. I remember the laughing sound of my parrots together. but She really don't want to laugh anymore and always try to hide herself in her cage under the clothes.

My wife found myself under depression. Yes I'm depressed and always smoke because we adopeted them as our own kids and I lost my dearest one. he loves me more than anything and mee too.

Even sometimes I found myself that I don't want to live without him anymore.

The members of this parrot forums always helped me out and this time also I really want help because I can't help myself. I always want to cry and don't want to eat.

after his death I've increased drinking and smoking weeds to cooldown my mind. I'm tottaly lost in sadness. he was my best friend ever.

while writing this all I'm crying with heart, I never thought that I would write down here about his death. I always tried to put his pics and dance videos over the internet.

I can't forgive myself, plz help.......... :17: :17: :17: :17:

 

[frankjose]

Nothing can compensate for the loss.

But I'd say go for a new parrot - around the same age. All of you need a companion to overcome the loss.

 

[LordTriggs]

okay, calm down, take some deep long breaths.

There was nothing that you could do, it wasn't your fault. Unfortunately accidents do happen sometimes with disastrous consequences. Definitely stop the drinking and smoking, both are actually making you feel worse despite the initial feeling. Go and exercise, take a walk or go for a run. It's amazing how much a bit of fresh air helps clear the mind.

I wouldn't suggest looking for a new bird right now. As someone who got given a bird mere hours after the death of my first it was not a good experience for anyone involved.

 

[Flboy]

I am so sorry for your incredible pain!

 

[SailBoat]

For the Love of Mithu!

Passing of a Feathered Friend
Provided By: Steven (SailBoat), November 2016

“All of us feel such deep sadness when our Parrot friends die, and because they are Animals and not Humans, we are at a loss for words. Often, it is only other Parrot owners who can understand the depth of the loss that we feel with this complex, loyal, and loving creature. Resulting from such a loss, I have placed feelings and emotions into words and found verse to console the loss of my Cleo and since her, other sweet Amazons, in turn; I hope it will speak for all of you.” - Steven


You left this world so quickly. I can hardly comprehend your leaving. Yet there, in my hands, your still body rested — no longer your home. So much I have learned, so much you have taught, your purpose a full measure beyond your size. Comprehensions of your loss still a mist but yet, I know you are whole and happy - now beyond Rainbow Bridge. And so busy you must be upon your [sweet] wings, guiding angles to those of us yet to cross. With in my ear, I still hear you, those special sweet sounds of comfort and contentment:


“Do not stand by my grave and weep my friend.
I am not here. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the gentle summer rain.
When you wake in the morning hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry my friend.
I am not there. I did not die.”

My pray for you my beloved feathered friend:

“May your body nourish this earth.
May your soul find release and contentment.
May you fly high and free upon wings of spirit.
Rest in peace little [sweet] one.”

The love and tender warmth of you is a un-full-fill-able void.
I do so much thank-you for creating a space for another, a special place next to yours’.

In remembrance of Cleo, (Estimated) Spring 1959 - May 2003

 

[itzjbean]

I am so sorry for your loss. These guys are so special, they become more than pets but a loved member of the family. We feel your pain and hope you can take the time to let yourself heal from this and forgive yourself.

 

[Kiwibird]

It is perfectly normal to grieve the loss of a loved one, even a feathered loved one. As you said, you considered Mithu to be your child. No one gets over that kind of loss quickly. It is OK to still be upset and feel a deep sadness after only 2 weeks, though it may be time to stop using the crutches of alcohol and smoking now and to face this reality sober. Perhaps if you haven't already, you could create a nice memorial for him, something like a feather and your favorite photo of him in a nice frame, so his memory will always be alive in your home.

Right now is not likely to be a good time to get another bird. No other bird can replace him, ever. After loosing a human child, people do not run out and have another baby right away. You shouldn't do the equivalent of that and run out and buy another bird right away. Give yourself and time to mourn and heal then in 6 months or a year or whenever it feels 'right' then look for another bird.

 

[Terry57]

I am so sorry for your loss Please don't be so hard on yourself, this was an accident.
I'm glad your female is eating again, spend as much time with her as you can as she is grieving as well. My heart goes out to you all.

 

[Kentuckienne]

I am so sorry to learn this. Of course, it was not your fault. We can't be perfect, and everybody has accidents. The only way to be sure of not having an accident that hurts a parrot is to not have a parrot.

What you experience, I hate to say, is normal and right. You have lost a being you loved. Love is love, and the love you felt for your parrot isn't different from the love you might feel for a good friend, or even a family member. There is something about parrots that makes the bond different. Maybe because they are flock animals, so they connect with us by their nature? Plus, they are beautiful and intelligent. You loved your parrot, and so of course it hurts that he is gone.

When we lost our parrot, both my husband I grieved. Everywhere I looked, I saw something that reminded me of him. I stayed busy all the time. When I finished one task, I immediately started on another, because then I had something to think about instead of not seeing him there. Every time I fixed some food that he loved, I would cry. It took a long, long time for the pain to become less. It was even harder for my husband because it was his parrot.

We also couldn't help thinking about ...was it our fault? Could we have done something different? Looking back it's always easy to see what to do. We did the best we could. We didn't know the future, so we had to take a best guess at what was best for him - he was sick - and the truth is, no matter what we did, the outcome would probably have been the same.

I wish I had some magical wise advice to help the pain be less. The only thing I found that did that was time. The days will keep coming and going, and you will grieve through many of them. But there will begin to be spots of brightness. Your other bird will make you smile, there will be a beautiful flower...life will bring you good things, not just bad things, and slowly the pain will be less and the joy will be more.

Maybe the best thing to remember is this: there are two sides to this. Right now you are feeling pain and sorrow, remembering your beloved friend who is gone. The pain drowns everything else out. Know this: if you have painful thoughts, it's because you have wonderful memories. The wonderful memories are not erased by death and pain. They are still there. It's just that you can't get to them now, because the pain is such a flood in your emotions. Trust that this is how it works. This is the price of love. One day, the pain will start to weaken and fade. It will never be gone, but it will lose its hold on you, and there will be longer and longer times when it IS gone. Joy and happiness will come back.

I do understand the drinking and weed to dull the pain. You are cheating yourself this way. It is better to allow the pain to speak to you, and listen to what it has to say. You may find a deeper sense of compassion for the pain of others. You may find a deeper sense of compassion for yourself. And this is a good time for you and your wife to turn to one another for comfort and support. There will always be pain and suffering, but there is not always a loving friend by your side to help you bear it. Right now you have your wife, and your other parrot, and they need your love and comfort as much as you need theirs.

You might need something to distract you from being stuck in the pain, especially if you don't dull it with chemicals. Is there something you feel moved to do? When we lost our Oliver, I decided I would do something to help other parrots, in honor of his life and memory. That's why I started an organization to help keep parrots out of the wrong hands, and to help parrots and people in trouble. It might not ever be much help, but doing something is better than doing nothing. You might find that you are inspired to do something. Be open to the message if it comes, be kind to your self and your family, and be strong. It will get better.

 

[Anansi]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know from personal experience how deeply the loss of our feathered companions can wound us, and my heart goes out to you. As has been said quite eloquently by several posts above, this was an accident. Please do not beat yourself up over it. Remember also to allow yourself to grieve. Drinking and smoking are only ways of dulling that grief, and doing so hinders the healing process in the long term.

You still have your other parrot, and she needs you to be there for her now more than ever.

 

[Scott]

My deepest condolences for your loss of Mithu. This was a tragic accident and your grief is understandable, it is a reflection of love and respect for a precious life.

You may find comfort in the female parrot who is also feeling loss in ways we may not understand. Also very important to take care of your health and your wife.

Please stay in contact, so many of us have had similar experiences.

 

[wrench13]

Very sorry to hear this news. For anyone reading this thread, it shows how dangerous cats can be to parrots as Mithu undoubtedly died from pathogens present in cat saliva and in/on their claws. As some suggest,. please dont drink and smoke more, its not helping and only hurting yourself more. I suggest that you get involved in any bird related activities near where you live .... bird sanctuary or a environmental program to help save a local Species. TO help ease your mind, I made a donation to Cornell University, to be used exclusively on parrot related programs and studies and it is in Mithu's name. Mithu will be remembered by more then just your family. I too lost a parrot who passed with no obvious symptoms, and it was/is a painful event. I would also wait awhile before getting another parrot, and keep in mind that there will never be another Mithu - each and every parrot has his own personality. If you get one right away, I think you will be expecting him to be and act like Mithu. Let Mithu's memories stay with you but be open to a new fresh start with another parrot.

I hope this helps turn the pain into just a throb. Bless you and your wife for giving Mithu a good home while he was with you.

 

[Tami2]

My heart is breaking. :smile016:
I am so very sorry for your tragic loss.
No one could have foreseen this horrific attack. It clearly is not your fault.
You are both in my thoughts & prayers. :heart:

 

[GaleriaGila]

So very sorry!
I have made So MANY mistakes over the decades... only good luck saved the Rb, I swear that to you.
Someday I hope you'll be ready to give your wonderful loving hearts to a new bird. Somebirdy out there needs you!
Thank you for sharing such personal things with us. Stick with us, okay?

 

[smbrds]

I am so sorry for your loss. Listen, accidents happen and sadly unfortunate, tragic ones. Your other parrot needs you more than ever as much as you need her as well. Devote your time and heart to her. Parrots are remarkable creatures in having empathy. Clear your mind for a bit, not from drinking or weed but good and uplifting ways. Go for a walk, be around music that plays. India has very soothing and calming music. You have your family, your other parrot and indeed this forum. Please find enriching activities perhaps in particular with birds that can fill your heart with comfort and love. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss. We are with you.
:40:

 

[imashish]

Do not stand by my grave and weep my friend.
I am not here. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the gentle summer rain.
When you wake in the morning hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry my friend.
I am not there. I did not die.


I can still feel his warmness in my hand and around neck....




Only the peoples who have emotional relationship with animal and birds can understand my stituation.

I'm glad you all bird owners know my situation.

Thank you all for your support.

For the Love of Mithu!

Passing of a Feathered Friend
Provided By: Steven (SailBoat), November 2016

“All of us feel such deep sadness when our Parrot friends die, and because they are Animals and not Humans, we are at a loss for words. Often, it is only other Parrot owners who can understand the depth of the loss that we feel with this complex, loyal, and loving creature. Resulting from such a loss, I have placed feelings and emotions into words and found verse to console the loss of my Cleo and since her, other sweet Amazons, in turn; I hope it will speak for all of you.” - Steven


You left this world so quickly. I can hardly comprehend your leaving. Yet there, in my hands, your still body rested – no longer your home. So much I have learned, so much you have taught, your purpose a full measure beyond your size. Comprehensions of your loss still a mist but yet, I know you are whole and happy - now beyond Rainbow Bridge. And so busy you must be upon your [sweet] wings, guiding angles to those of us yet to cross. With in my ear, I still hear you, those special sweet sounds of comfort and contentment:


“Do not stand by my grave and weep my friend.
I am not here. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the gentle summer rain.
When you wake in the morning hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry my friend.
I am not there. I did not die.”

My pray for you my beloved feathered friend:

“May your body nourish this earth.
May your soul find release and contentment.
May you fly high and free upon wings of spirit.
Rest in peace little [sweet] one.”

The love and tender warmth of you is a un-full-fill-able void.
I do so much thank-you for creating a space for another, a special place next to yours’.

In remembrance of Cleo, (Estimated) Spring 1959 - May 2003

 

[imashish]

Greetings My all Friends,

This is such a starnge and painful experience I ever faced. My lil birdie always in my mind, heart, thoughts and even we always talk about his adorable moments in our life.

Me and my wife trying to hold ourselves and trying to have smile on our faces. My female bird always want me to stay with her at home, she is scared nowdays. But my wife doing her best to make her happy again.

I think for my lady parrot, sooner or later we need male parrot. I don't want her to feel alone and sad.

But don't know when we should adopt a new male parrot and also don't know wether he will accept her or my female birds will accept him.

There is too much confusion and pain in my mind & heart I'm not able to take the decesion.

I have got news, a family have hand tamed male parrot and attached with his lady owner. 20 miles away from my house and they are seeking for a family who take care of him, becasue they have planned to shift from here to Canada.



Really I want to do something for abandoned birds and animals. I want to join a welfare socity or start a new organization to help abandoned birds and animals, but for that I need a team of good peoples. I don't know how would this be possible and how to start with first step..

I need your all thoughts and suggestion.

I think helping abandoned birds and animals can relif my pain.

 

[Scott]

There are many phases to grief, Ashish. While they vary by culture and belief, all involve the passage of time. Allow yourself and your wife to grieve and eventually channel your thoughts into actions. You are already on this path with consideration of a mate for your female alexandrine and a willingness to help abandoned birds and animals. The need is great and can be a worthy legacy of Mithu.

 

[Cardinal]

Dear Ashish

Very sad to hear about the loss of your beloved Male Alexandrine Parakeet. I share your grief. I too lost my beloved Male Budgerigar who was like my son to me to a Cat attack. What was very tragic was that he did not die a quick painless death. He was struggling for more than 24 hours after the attack and his will power finally gave up after 24 hours.

I was devastated. I understand how you are feeling. Taking to smoking and alcohol is not going to make things better. Since you live in India and there are Alexandrines in the wild in India, I suggest you should go and try to observe them in the wild in a national park or wildlife Sanctuary. Which part of India do you stay? I could give you some tips on nearby places where you can see wild birds.

warm regards

 

[Kentuckienne]

Greetings My all Friends,

Really I want to do something for abandoned birds and animals. I want to join a welfare socity or start a new organization to help abandoned birds and animals, but for that I need a team of good peoples. I don't know how would this be possible and how to start with first step..

I need your all thoughts and suggestion.

I think helping abandoned birds and animals can relif my pain.

There are some good international organizations. One is the World Parrot Trust - they help protect parrots in the wild and protect the places where they live. They have many good links on their website to other organizations.
http://www.parrots.org

The Avian Welfare Coalition is another group dedicated to helping all birds.
Avian Welfare Coalition - Dedicated to the welfare and protection of captive birds since 2000.

Both of these are well established sites that will give you some ideas. However you feel moved to help, move in that direction. Maybe it's just sharing posts from those groups on your social media accounts, maybe you want to help pass legislation to protect parrots, maybe you want to donate money or time to a rescue/aid group, or maybe you want to foster birds in need until they can find good homes. That's how a lot of rescue groups get started: someone takes in a parrot, works to fix any health and behavior problems, then finds a good loving home for it. Word gets around quickly because there are many more people who want to get rid of parrots than there are homes for them. There may be one or more groups near you that do this kind, loving work. Anything you do will help. Go where your heart points.