Merlin loves me one day and hates me the next...?

[MagicalMerlin]

Just like the title says, Merlin seems pretty hot and cold with me.

He seems to have bonded better with my husband, but he stills lets me interact with him. Some days are better than others.

For example, a few week ago, for 2 solid weeks he hated me. He would scream at me when I walked into our room(I had to wear earplugs to put my own laundry away), he tried to bite my hands when I would feed or water him, he was throwing his water bowl out of the holder several times a day. Also lunging at me while he was out, screaming at me while in the kitchen with me. He wouldn't step up for me, so I would have to wait for my hubs to get home or towel him to get him back in the cage. We got a water bowl that won't remove itself from the cage, so that ended the water throwing. Just overall very agitated body language.

Then the beginning of this week, he stopped all of that. Stopped screaming at me, stopped trying to take my finger tips off while feeding/watering him. While he was out of the cage, he stopped lunging at me, started getting my lap again while I sit in the floor, started letting me pet him again! Started stepping up with no issues at all, even from the top of the cage door.

Then today...more screaming. He tried to get my hand while I was feeding him this morning. Agitated body language.

Another note, I DO still do all the normal things with him. I try to ignore his jerkiness. So he gets fed and watered several times a day, I talk to him, read to him, he gets out in the mornings for about 4 hours and then again in the evenings for about 4-5 hours. Goes to bed when it dark.

I have a few questions about why, and what I should do.

1. I know they need a ton of sleep, like cat amounts of sleep. Are they crabby like kids when they get less than their 10-12 of beauty sleep? Maybe he went to bed too late last night, we did watch some tv before bed. Could that have disrupted him?

2. Is there anything I can do to help him see that he loves me still? LOL I feel like a teenager with a broken heart because my bird won't love me!

3. Is it hard for them to love and bond with more than one person at a time? He seems overwhelmed with hubs and I are both home and we're with him together. Is it too much?

4. Do I just take it day by day and see how he feels about me each morning. Since nothing in our routine together really changes, no matter his jerkiness, hes still doing the same things. On days hes being especially agitated towards me, I just talk to him from afar, I don't try to touch him or anything. I want him to know I respect his space, but I'm still there with him.

5. What does the screaming mean? I have had a hard time finding a good example of the way he screams. All of the macaws seem to have different voices and different screams, but his are loud and shrill. Usually just one at a time, but sometimes 3-5 in quick succession. His contact call for us when hes in his cage is more of a loud "ah!" sound, not ear piercing.
Are the super shrill ones trying to tell me something? Am I just not getting the message?

I didn't mean for this to be this long! I just wanted everyone to have as much info as possible. Thanks for reading my ramblings!

 

[GaleriaGila]

You'll get lots of great advice here.
I'll take a shot at the sleep/lighting issues. Ever since the Rickeybird hit sexual maturity at about 3 years of age, I've had to manage his hormones! If kept on too steady a long day, and too much light, he stayed "in the mood" (aggressive, even louder than usual, pleasuring himself on my neck ) year round. If I keep him on a natural light schedule... up with dawn, down with dusk, year around... THEN he's only a little monster rooster from July to September). He has his own room, so I can do that easily. I find that this natural schedule makes him a nicer bird all around, concerning aggression, screaming, the works.
A general suggestion - take any issue or topic which interests you, and use the Search Tab to read, read, read about it. I do that a lot. The people here are an amazing source of information, advice, and support. I'm glad you found this place!
I, too, feel like a jilted teenager sometimes, still but... I don't think we can measure bird's love by human standards.
Even after all these years, I sometimes find myself putting myself or my bird down... stuff like...
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS OR THAT.
WHY CAN'T HE BE SWEET AND NICE, LIKE A PUPPY?
PEOPLE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY I PUT UP WITH THIS.
Stuff like that.
But this is a parrot... barely a generation out of the wild.
I do all the right things, as much/well as I can, but in the end, I just LOVE my bird,
Some parrots are SO SWEET, some are NOT. I'm HAPPY and a bit JEALOUS of those successes.
I have lessened my psychological and physical wounds over the decades... not because I've changed the bird, but I have changed me. And a lot of that has involved giving up on a lot of my desires/expectations. After years of battle, I surrendered. I admit... as to why have I not (and why am I unable/unwilling) to train the Rb to do anything that he doesn't want to do?
Example... if I have a treat, and he sees it and wants it, I HAVE to give it too him. I simply cannot/will not NOT give him what he wants. No training there!
Consequently, I have a Tazmanian Devil on my hands. I love him. I have no complaints, really. He's HIMSELF. And I'm MYSELF. And the result... check my Signature for videos. etc., if you like.
Over the years, I have been very embarassed/downhearted/sad about having a pet that was so... out of my control.
I try to accept that I have an amazing half-wild being who loves me and perches on my hand and speaks to me! It's magic enough for me.

I'll end by saying: take all the great advice you'll get here. Let your bird learn to be the best bird possible, but in the end, love him for himself, which I think you already do.

Thanks for sharing your situation.

Best of luck to the three of you!

 

[plumsmum2005]

Hi have you read this ? http://www.parrotforums.com/macaws/56384-big-beak-o-phobes-guide-understanding-macaw-beaks.html - maybe something there to help?

Just some suggestions until you get more input

Age - hormonal
Boredom - not enough to do, plenty of climbing, chewing etc
Sleep - not enough
Unwell/illness
Good luck with finding an answer. Remember not all days are bad days!

 

[SailBoat]

At the top of the MAC Forum there are three Threads, which are highlighted in light blue. Read each of those Threads. Also, read any Thread or Post by BirdMan666 in the MAC Forum! His insight into working with MAC's is some of the best works available in the Forum.

Always start from the View: It is never the Fault of the Parrot! It is always the Fault of the Human(s). When you come at any difficulty with this view point, you will more quickly find and correct the problem!

Socialize, Socialize, Socialize! If the other Human in the house is the 'better liked' Human. Example: Getting to that Human, requires you to bring the MAC to that person. That individual needs to turn over to you all those things that your MAC wants, like treats, etc... Now, this is not going to happen tomorrow, but it should be the goal! Any poor soul that shows up at the front door gets a Bird on the Arm (if the MAC is not seriously objecting). Start games like: Pass the MAC as another example.

Bite Pressure Train! MAC's learn early in life that they can scare People off with their Beak, so steal that from from them by Bite Pressure Training.

The Posts above provided excellent advice, start there first and then move into those areas provided by BirdMan666

 

[MagicalMerlin]

Thanks!
I will re-read those 3 threads, I read them before we got Merlin, but honestly can't remember much.

I do try to take it in stride, I love him for the bird he is!

I totally forgot to ask what I'M doing wrong! I had to leave as soon as I clicked submit today, and I was halfway to my destination, rethinking, and thought "I forgot to ask what I'M doing wrong?!"

I think we're going to not watch tv in our room when its dark anymore, it does disrupt him. He needs sleep from dusk till dawn, nothing wrong with that! That'll be the first step I take in ensuring hes happy and well rested.

And maybe I'll spend the weekend making some new toys for him to play with, he may be bored with the ones he has now, its been a little while without something new and exciting.

And he probably needs more time. This is the first time since we've had him that he's accepted both of us. So maybe he needs more time with both of us to figure it all out.

I'm going to read those threads now!

Thanks!