Male/female compatability question

[Nakiska]

Hi all...I am not new to birds, but I might be new to Amazons...IF we decide to adopt the one I've got my heart set on, if we are confident we can be compatable and give her the forever home I know she deserves.

She is 15 years old, she's had a handful of homes to date, this most recent one she's lived at for just over a year. She's being rehomed because of a new baby in the home, no time for her, fear of her biting the baby and list of other reasons.

She's been handled minimally the last year, her current owner described times she's spent out of the cage. Didn't know if she could fly, because she always walks and when I asked if she'd ever been clipped...the woman didn't have a clue what I was trying to say. So I gather she has her flight feathers. She seems to have been handled a bit more with previous owners....I'm told. She eats a well rounded diet, loves everything and the current owner listed tons of things she loves "and if she don't like it, she just throws it on the floor"

I asked her if she felt her bird tended to exhibit MORE or LESS aggressive behavior and she said that she tends to be more aggressive toward women but seems to love men.

Okay...sooo...I know that each bird is an individual and perhaps her and I will get along just fine, or not...have to meet her first.

One of our female cockatiels DEFINITELY perfers my spouse over me...but she's not aggressive toward me, just more affectionate toward my husband and prefers to be with him over me. That's fine...we have other birds

So when I go to meet this parrot in person, if she's leary of me, or exhibits the "oh no..I don't like you behavior" right from the get go... knowing that she mostly prefers men over women...should I take the chance?

I've heard stories of birds just flat out NOT liking someone and it's a non stop battle between the two just to exist in the same home.

I don't want that...but i also wonder what time might bring if she's not really crazy about me to begin with...most birds don't take to "strangers" right away....so how reliable would our initial meeting be in determining compatability over life long terms.

She would also be our first large parrot, we have cockatiels a conure and a pigeon...all are great additions to our family, well loved and absolutely adored for the individuals they are.

You might ask...why an Amazon then? I don't know...I just want one.

I'm hoping to meet her tomorrow evening if it goes well, I'll bring her home immediately, if it goes not so well...I might think about it or walk away which is why I'm asking the Amazon Experts her at my favorite forums

Thanks in advance for your advice...good or bad.

Toni

 

[SandyBee]

Hi,

I am in no way an expert, but maybe our story will help. We adopted a 35 year old double yellow head from a rescue soceity about a month ago. He is a male and apparently the owner died and the son took him in, they did not get along so after 2 years he was surrendered to the rescue. The rescue had him for 8 months before we came along.

When we went and met Bosley he was uninterested the first time, the second time he seemed curious and gave us a show, hanging upside down in his cage and the amazon scream. My husband believed that Bosley liked him.

We decided to adopt Bosley and another brown headed african parrot and so the rescue brought them over to us and we proceeded to give them a new home.

The first few days Bosley was quiet, did take some treats from us and didn't appear stressed. On the fourth day I had to go to work and he rushed the cage when I changed his water and gave him fresh food. I went to work thinking what have I done!!

I got home that evening and Bosley decided I could give him a head scritch, I thought ok maybe there is hope!! I sat down beside his cage and my husband brought me dinner. The next thing you know Bosley ran down his cage, jumped in my lap and wanted me to share, so I did. We have been friends since. The bond grows more each day.

So to answer your question, no I don't believe you can always tell from first meeting, especially if it is not extreme in either like or dislike. Bosley still has not taken to my husband even though he does everything he can to offer treats, dinner, out time etc and he was the one that believed Bosley liked him.

The up side for that is the brown head african adores him, so all is well in our house!!

These are our first birds and we just felt when we met them that they needed forever homes.

 

[Nakiska]

I also wanted to put out here that we have both hand tame birds and 2 of them that are not yet hand tame. The two that are not hand tame were a brother/sister pair of cockiatiels I rescued from some horrid conditions.

We've had them over a year now and they are MUCH more trusting, but still not "there" yet....if that makes any sense to you.

So, I don't want you thinking, I'm expecting some glorious bonding experience, forever love all sunshine and roses type of relationship.

I have time, I'm patient and have a lifelong experience with all types of pets. Very good at reading their body language and learning body language...I'm just hoping to avoid a situation where I take on a larger bird who really doesn't like me and I have to wear "leathers and helmet" just to be "safe" around her. Hahaha....

 

[JerseyWendy]

You sound like the perfect candidate for this Amazon lady.

I have an example as well: Just a little over a week ago my GF was given a Yellow Nape Amazon female who is in her 20s-30s (there's no way of really knowing her age, she has no band and not much history, unfortunately). Said Amazon supposingly hated women

Anyway, during the first week my GF just left Ivy alone in her cage, other than giving fresh food and water daily, and sitting next to her, talking to her softly and gently.

She's already accepting food out of her hand, and as of today she started talking to her.

Of course there's no way of knowing whether she'll ever be a lapdog, but she certainly is off to a good start.

Please let us know how your visit goes tomorrow evening. And please don't go with high expectations. Most Amazons are quite leery of strangers. Some will lunge, some will put on a show, and others might even rumble off their entire repertoir of words/songs and others yet may freeze and not move at all.

Best of luck!

 

[Kiwibird]

While amazons so tend to prefer one gender over another, they certainly can form a strong bond with someone of their less preferred gender, provided that person is willing to put in the time and effort to build a trusting bond. Every parrot is just looking for someone who they can trust and who loves them. I grew up with parrots (2 amazons and a cockatoo) and all of them had a "preferred" person, but they would still go to anyone in the family on command. I really missed them when I moved out, and once I was married and stable, my husband and I worked with a rescue to find an amazon (I just feel comfortable with that species, and my husband had no prior experience with birds). We got a call from the shelter after months of searching that someone wanted to give up their blue front ASAP and they would be fine if we wanted to go the very next day to their house to meet him and hopefully pick him up. The poor little guy was living in a very small dog carrier with no perches or toys, and when she went to get him out, she dramatically wrapped 2 towels around her hand "to keep him from biting" because "he didn't like women". I put my hand up to hers, and he stepped right up, no lunging, no trepidation, no problem. We took him home that day. He was a bit of a challenge because he instantly got defensive of his cage (he hadn't ever had a home like that before), was fearful of fruits and veggies, and he did his very best as soon as we got home to intimidate me (which I didn't put up with). It took about 6 months to get him on the right track. We've had him 5 years now, and he actually took to my husband (go figure, he was suppose to be my bird) but he doesn't have any huge issues with me (though I do do get a nip every once in while). He does only allow my husband to pet him, but then again, I'm the only one he'll give kisses to Overall, while it was a bit of work to socialize him when we first brought him home, he's a pretty sweet little guy who just needed to be taught what behaviors were appropriate.

My best advice with a rescue is don't be fearful. Birds can sense fear, and will use it to their advantage. Especially new (to you) birds, they will end up training you rather than the other way around. Many people who adopt a parrot get bitten once and assume the bird hates them, which isn't true. The bird is just testing it's boundaries, and you need to let it know that biting is not a behavior that will get them their way from the first time they get you. And yes, you can expect to be bitten at some point, because even the sweetest bird will sometimes get scared, angry, or feel they have no other way to communicate their needs besides giving you a chomp. The more you react, the more likely they will be to do it in the future. After that, amazons especially are relatively easy to make friends with. Food and toys are great ways to show your new buddy you want to be their friend. We started bringing Kiwi to the table (on his t-perch) for breakfast and dinner every day (and still do) the day after we brought him home. Including your bird in your meals shows them you accept them in your flock, plus amazons are big pigs who can easily be bribed with food ;-) Sharing toys is also a great way to make friends. Pretend to play with a toy, then offer it to the bird to play with. Also keep your eyes out for things they are intrigued with, and allow them to explore/play. We noticed Kiwi was very interested in our vacuum cleaner, so we sat him on the handle (obviously when it wasn't running) and let him have a look around. We also noticed him showing an interest when we were brushing our teeth, so we cut the bristle part off a old toothbrush, sterilized the handle and gave it to him. Toothbrush handles are still one of his all time favorite toys (parrots are great ways to recycle stuff that would otherwise be thrown away lol). Since you already have birds, you should be able to recognize cues of your new bird and go from there. Best of luck, and really, amazons are the greatest!

 

[Nakiska]

Thanks so much for your kind replies.

I can hardly wait to meet her this evening. From all the videos of amazon's I've watched and the fact that my ring tone on my cell phone is the amazon singing "Bodies" ..it STILL cracks me up! I have serious doubts that I'll be able to walk away...

I was playing with our conure, Franklin last night and I decided that he VERY MUCH, has the personality of the amazons I've seen. He's a BIG bird in a tiny body.

So then I thought, okay, now imagine Franklin being the size of an amazon...would I still be enjoying this interaction?

Well, OF COURSE I would!

The more I try to talk myself out of her...the more I'm sealing the deal within my heart.

She's beautiful from the pictures I seen...Blue Fronted. Yep, I must have her.

We'll see, I"ll keep you posted!

Toni

 

[Pedro]

When i adopt an older parrot, I ask myself if i am suitable for the bird. Once i make my decision to take in the parrot I observe it & follow it's lead. I adopted my SC Too about 6 years ago now, he belonged to a guy & didn't take to females a whole lot. Over time i worked slowly with him until we could trust each other. He is my best friend now. I am still working with him. Considering he was bought from a petshop & was a wild caught baby about 12 years ago, I couldn't imagin life without him.

 

[SandyBee]

Good Luck

When we adopted Bosley a month ago I never imagined I could get as close as I have with him. He is suppose to like males better. I thought we would be lucky if we could handle him by Christmas.

Last night was the first time he came on my shoulder and stayed there, he let me walk around with him. Pedro is right, it's about trusting each other and building the relationship. Bosley and I still have a long way to go, but I can't imagine not having him. Hopefully in your heart you will know what's best. It's about being the best owner you can be. I would still be happy if Bosley never took to me and I could still give him a great life!!

 

[JerseyWendy]

Good Luck

When we adopted Bosley a month ago I never imagined I could get as close as I have with him. He is suppose to like males better. I thought we would be lucky if we could handle him by Christmas.

Last night was the first time he came on my shoulder and stayed there, he let me walk around with him. Pedro is right, it's about trusting each other and building the relationship. Bosley and I still have a long way to go, but I can't imagine not having him. Hopefully in your heart you will know what's best. It's about being the best owner you can be. I would still be happy if Bosley never took to me and I could still give him a great life!!

What an absolute ADORABLE picture of you and Bosley! Goes to show you what love is capable of.

 

[melissasparrots]

Most amazons will pick a favorite. I think if your single and she's currently handleable by women, then you can probably win her over pretty easy unless there are obvious signs of her disliking you personally from the start. However, if your married and men are around, she may be more likely to bond faster and stronger to your husband and treat you as a second class citizen. If your able to live with that, then go for it. If not, I would not get an amazon period. Chances are good withn any bird regardless of its previous tendencies will pick a favorite and the less favored person will have to handle it with care and mostly just enjoy having it around without the physical relationship that the favorite has. If this is meant to be 'your' bird with your husband just playing a supportive role, then I'd look for one that is known for having a really good bond with a woman.

 

[KBEquine]

I am typing with my husband's amazon on my knee while I type. He is sitting on my knee because he is a 'woman's bird' and has chosen me. That would possibly make my husband a bit jealous, if "my" African Grey hadn't chosen HIM over me.

We both can handle each bird. The same can't be said for the Pionus I had until he passed away - he got progressively more my bird, the longer he lived with us.

My husband and I both can handle the Panama amazon who came to live with us in January, and he hasn't really exhibited a preference, one or the other.

So my amazon experience is they're pretty adaptable.

As for learning to fly at age 15 . . . back in January, we also got a 20 year old greenwing macaw, who was fully flighted, but did not fly. The prior owner cautioned us on several occasions that he COULD fly, but chose not to.

Yesterday, he chose to fly. Twice. Both short, awkward flights with less-than-graceful landings. It reminded me of my Pionus's first flights - labored, a bit frightening. But the Pionus became quite an accomplished flier. And Kiwi, the little Panama, who is also 20 - he was not fledged as a baby & was clipped for most of his life. He was more than 10 years old - probably closer to 15 - when his flight feathers were allowed to grow back and he was first able to fly.

He is the best flier of the big parrots, although the Grey gives him a run for his money (and the budgies, who have been flighted most of their life are the flying acrobats of the group).