Macaw has started biting me.

[Ellipsis]

Hello.

I'm spending a month with my girlfriend and her jealous macaw, Bob. Bob is a one person bird who is hostile towards men and just mildly grumpy towards women who aren't my girlfriend. Since I'm a woman, I decided to try to win him over.
I've been spending weeks, gradually getting closer and closer to Bob, without causing him any stress. I've been talking to him, feeding him his favourite treats, and basically being around his cage a lot. I eventually got him to let me pet him. Scritches on the back of the neck and everything. That was a big break though. Then I reached a point where I could open his cage and let him sit on the outside of it and hang out with me. If I ever offered him my arm to step up on, he'd try to bite it, so that was a no no.
Then two days ago, he seemed calm and was letting me pet him a lot. He surprised me by lifting his foot, indicating that he wanted to step up. I carefully offered him my arm and he stepped up! This is something Bob has never done for anyone other than my girlfriend! I was so happy, I almost started crying. I stood there as he gently nibbled my arm, hand and shoulder. I was happy, but also a little afraid, as I'd been told the tale of the time my girlfriend's dad had tried to get Bob to step up, only to have him lunge forth and bite off a piece of his ear.
Bob and I spent that day practicing stepping up. In total, he easily spent over an hour, climbing on my arm and shoulder, being as calm as can be. He was still a little spooked by any sudden movements by me, so I still had a ways to go, but I was doing it!
Then yesterday happened. I was excited to start our second day of stepping up. After we fed him some breakfast, we made sure that Bob was calm and happy, and then I presented my arm. He stepped up, and started to nibble my arm, like he'd done before. But this time he grabbed hold and didn't let go. He bit harder and harder, until he'd broken skin. As calmly and gently as I could, I pulled his head off my arm and in doing so lost a chunk of skin. I quickly and carefully placed him back on his cage, then sit down and cried. He'd rejected me. But why? What did I do wrong? He seemed happy. He had accepted my arm. I tended to my wound and gave him space for the day.
Today, with a bandaged up arm, I tried again. Took my time, played the "let's dance together" game that he likes, gave him head scritches, a few almonds.. and finally I offered my arm. He lifted a foot, saying "yes, I'd like to step up". Right away, he nibbled, increased pressure, and gave me another nasty wound, right next to the first one.

I don't understand it and I feel utterly heartbroken. We had such a good day, that first time. What had changed? What am I doing wrong? And when he bites into me, doesn't seem agitated or heightened. He seems to just calmly lean in and chomp. But he doesn't bite until after he's up on my arm. Up until that point, I'm petting him and all is well. He seems to like me, otherwise, when my girlfriend is out, Bob will screech if I leave the room. He'll only calm down when I come back. That means he wants me around, right? So then why has he started ripping my arm apart?
Can someone explain this to me? My girlfriend and Bob are a package deal and I really want him to accept me. This means a lot to her and so it means a lot to me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[wrench13]

Welcome and be welcomed. Good on you for making the effort to get Bob acclimated to you. First, read and read again the stickies at the top of our Macaw subforum, written by birdman666, our resident Macaw guru. In fact , use the search feature and read any and all posts by him. THen discuss with your G.F how she handles what is known as bite pressure and bite pressure training. Parrot beaks are easily able to inflict damaging bites, but a parrot who has been bite pressure trained will know how much is TOO MUCH. SOme have never been trained and so have no idea how much damage they can cause.

 

[Ellipsis]

Welcome and be welcomed. Good on you for making the effort to get Bob acclimated to you. First, read and read again the stickies at the top of our Macaw subforum, written by birdman666, our resident Macaw guru. In fact , use the search feature and read any and all posts by him. THen discuss with your G.F how she handles what is known as bite pressure and bite pressure training. Parrot beaks are easily able to inflict damaging bites, but a parrot who has been bite pressure trained will know how much is TOO MUCH. SOme have never been trained and so have no idea how much damage they can cause.

Thanks, I'll make sure to do that!
Bob never bites my girlfriend (I'm just gonna call her June, this is getting silly) like he bit me, so she's never had to give him training like that. But since he'd never bite June like that, I'm sure he understands that he's hurting me.

 

[Ellipsis]

Thanks, I'll make sure to do that!
Bob never bites my girlfriend (I'm just gonna call her June, this is getting silly) like he bit me, so she's never had to give him training like that. But since he'd never bite June like that, I'm sure he understands that he's hurting me.

Okay, so I read a bunch of Birdman666 posts (really great stuff to learn from!). I wrapped a towel around my arm as armour and I could tell right away, that was a mistake. Bob just went "oh, a new chew toy!" and chewed up the towel.
I then started holding my naked arm out close to him, but not letting him step up (which he keeps trying to do). Instead, I let him gently "kiss" my arm, at which point, I praise him and give him a treat.
I hope I'm doing this right. My main concern is making sure not to stress Bob, and he seems content.

 

[Cottonoid]

Instead, I let him gently "kiss" my arm, at which point, I praise him and give him a treat.
I hope I'm doing this right. My main concern is making sure not to stress Bob, and he seems content.

This sounds like an excellent start to me! You're developing trust and you both have to learn each other's communication styles and where each of your boundaries are.

 

[Ellipsis]

This sounds like an excellent start to me! You're developing trust and you both have to learn each other's communication styles and where each of your boundaries are.

Thank you. It really helps to hear that I'm on the right track.
I just wish I knew the reason for the biting.
- He's not telling me to leave him alone, because he whines, when I'm ignoring him (June works during the day, so Bob and I spend a lot of time alone together).
- He's not telling me that he doesn't want to step up, because he often asks to, by lifting his foot up, toward my arm.

I'll figure this out.

 

[wrench13]

Parrots are very smart, and perfectly capable of using the lifted foot as a lure. My own Amazon, Salty, does this all the time. Lifts his foot like he wants to be picked up and then ZAP. I learned to check his other 'mood indicators' before I get lured in. Kiddo, when we say smart, I mean it. Parrots are very capable cheaters, liars and bluffers. Piercing thru all that is a part of knowing the parrot and developing a level of trust between you two. Its all about trust. I think your action above is a good start.

 

[Botsari]

It doesn’t sound that unusual to me, just a setback, and It IS progress by degrees. I think, however, you need to proceed with a towel wrapped around your arm. The hard thing about modifying parrot behavior is they don’t really have any response to direct negative reinforcement like a dog might. They might just as well respond to a yelp or jerk of you arm as applause. Both the sudden response and the towel will be a few steps back, but the towel will both allow you to NOT respond the next time Bob gets out of line, as well as calmly withdraw your attention and/or promised treats from him each time it happens which is the only leverage you actually have. Will you ever feel confident to pick up Bob without the towel? Maybe not. But you will establish some kind of relationship where he knows you are immune to his bad behaviors. One tip for a bird that tries to establish dominance by moving up you arm is that you can hold the corner of the towel and simply lift it and block him if needed. I have never been bitten by a macaw but I thinK an extra thick towel might be a good idea. LOL. I know you just want to be friends but parrot politics being what they are there is going to have to be a certain amount of establishing, if not dominance, at least parity. Unfortunately you are never going to be able to do that if he knows how to tweak your emotions with a bite. Keep at it and show him you will never fear him.

 

[Kentuckienne]

I can’t use a towel with our Macaw, and he does like to bite my bare arm, but he will step up fine if I am wearing long sleeves. And if he wants to be picked up. Some birds don‘t get skin on arms, they are used to shirt sleeves. There are birds who will freak if you wear a different color nail polish. Or change your hairstyle. They don’t compute that clothes are not part of you, like feathers are, and a sudden change can be trouble.

 

[Botsari]

Parrots are very smart, and perfectly capable of using the lifted foot as a lure. My own Amazon, Salty, does this all the time. Lifts his foot like he wants to be picked up and then ZAP. I learned to check his other 'mood indicators' before I get lured in. Kiddo, when we say smart, I mean it. Parrots are very capable cheaters, liars and bluffers. Piercing thru all that is a part of knowing the parrot and developing a level of trust between you two. Its all about trust. I think your action above is a good start.

My TAG is very cute and likes to greet new people by moving to the side of the cage and acting like he wants to have his head scratched. Then biting them! He doesn’t appear to do so out of any kind of fear or anger - he just thinks it is jolly fun. Most people only fall for this once, but my father was a sucker and had his fingers nipped 4 or 5 times this way. Each time he said he was sure THIS time, like Charlie Brown trying to kick Lucy’s football, the parrot really wanted his head scratched. For some birds this is just some kind of private game they are playing. They aren’t going to stop until it is no longer entertaining - and don’t hold your breath.

This is the same bird that when he was bored would pull the tail feathers of my otherwise super gentle CAG just so that one would chase him several circuits around the sides and roof of their macaw cage. He just LOVED being chased by his best friend, nutty bird.

 

[Ellipsis]

So I keep hearing that I'm not supposed to flinch. But Bob can do some serious damage. If I were to just stand there and not react, I worry that he'll just keep squeezing until he removes a big peice of me. I'm not sure if I could stand quietly still, through that much ouchiness.

 

[Cottonoid]

I flinch at tiny bird beak bites even though I knooooow I shouldn't. But I try to make my "main" response calmly saying "no biting, be gentle" even if I started with Ow

 

[Ellipsis]

I flinch at tiny bird beak bites even though I knooooow I shouldn't. But I try to make my "main" response calmly saying "no biting, be gentle" even if I started with Ow

Yeah, I calmly say "Bob be nice. No sweetie, that's too hard". Then I put him back on his perch and get the neosporin lol

 

[PrimorandMoxi]

I hear you!

I have Max a biting blue and gold who's bonded to my partner.
I feed max, keep his cage clean, make his toys...
i'm essentially his servant.
if he gets the chance he will bite me.

He is super smart and will trick you into petting him and then will bite and laugh about it. At those times I really really wish I had a dog. Just a sweet little doggie that does zoomies around the house.

Sometimes I'm like,
"why not have a non-venomous snake that will bite me without warning?"

If I ever offered max a towel on my arm he'd tear my arm off.
If I ever got my face too close he'd bite my nose off, my cheek, my ear.

Some how I still love that bird even though I know I'm in an abusive relationship.
He's so darned perty!

I am not helping you at all but to say be careful! and good luck.

 

[StormyPica]

Yeah, I calmly say "Bob be nice. No sweetie, that's too hard". Then I put him back on his perch and get the neosporin lol

Ha! I'd just like to appreciate how you're educating yourself, then actually USING that information. I see way too many people whose thought process goes:

"Why is my bird doing this?" *gets information and applies it once without results* "That doesn't work! I'm never trying this again!"

Or, the hilarious (but not a good idea AT ALL):
"How do I assert dominance over my bird?"

As for actual info, I have nothing. I only have budgies (no macaws here!) who are generally easier to live with, especially since they've trained me well