I will post a slightly different viewpoint. Itās true that birds choose their mates, just as they would in the wild, but even in the wild the mates get to choose back. Especially in te beginning, I think it is often possible to influence the relationship.
When we got our re-homed B&G from a rescue he didnāt try to approach either of us. A new home was just one more trauma. So when this big guy bent his head down, I decided to take a chance and gave him a scritch on the head. He loved it! He would let me pick him up and pet him, and didnāt want my husband to touch him. As pleased as I was, I realized this wouldnāt work. So I backed off. Didnāt pet him, didnāt scratch him, let my husband give him food and treats, in the hopes that he would be accepted as the primary human. which he did.
For a while we both were able to hold him, and he would sit on my knee, let me scratch him for hours. But he gradually shifted his allegiance to the point where I couldnāt touch him without getting bitten. I had tons of bruises and cuts. Today, he will allow me to provide Parrot Uber rides to another room if he wants to go poop or see his human, he will accept treats without trying to bite me. But he wonāt step up if asked or accept scratches. Iām chopped liver. But Iām tolerated, and if my spouse goes out of town for an extended time I can gradually get closer to him. For this particular bird, itās possible for the bond to shift.
But all birds are different. There are stories in this forum of a formerly loving, bonded bird who suddenly began hating and attacking his person. When birds reach sexual maturity, the changes can be particularly extreme. My suggestion is to start by accepting that a companion parrot is a unique, intelligent individual who may make unexpected decisions. Can you live with that? Can you keep your promise to care for a creature who isnāt what you expected, is a lot of trouble and expense, who likes someone else in the house and wants nothing to do with you? What if you go for an extended work trip, and come home to find your bird bonded to a different person? What if he suddenly starts hating you? Parrots arenāt domesticated animals, and are intelligent. They arenāt pets: they are companions. Often that means they live miserable lives: shut away because they are too expensive for the owner to relinquish and too difficult to handle.
You might do better with a rescue bird, one that was previously bonded to someone who looked like you. A bird that āchoosesā you might stay chosen. There is no guarantee that they will always choose you, but if you make it through birdie puberty you are likely to be ok. And there is always the chance you can influence this choosing. But think about it well, because they live a LONG time, and will suffer if they donāt get the love and care they need.