Lost my bond with GCC - really sad

[babybean]

Hi, sorry if this has been posted a number of times - I did do a search already, but I wasn't able to find satisfactory answers for my situation. I have a pineapple green cheek who is a little over 1 year old, unknown gender, however she recently has been trying to nest in small spaces around the house making me think she could be a female. So far she has not seemed overly aggressive or hormonal, but I believe she's rejected me and imprinted on my roommate out of nowhere.

I got her as an extremely anxious bird but she ended up getting along instantly with my untame male budgie. She still doesn't like hands, but I made a lot of progress with her over the year in getting her to step up, and rarely, she would let me scratch her head, try to preen my face. In the past few months she progressed to flying around the house following me wherever I went, though always at a distance. Since I'm in grad school my GCC would meet lots of new people since she was a few months old, but after stepping up for anyone else she would fly away soon after.

A week or so ago, she apparently randomly flew to my roommate, I was not home at the time. Since then, she follows my roommate like a puppy, even trying to squeeze through the crack of a closed door to get to her room, flying to her from across the room to preen her face etc. things she's never done for me. While my roommate is out, I have tried working from home the entire day with the birds out, in order to reestablish our friendship, but nothing has changed. She accepts food from me but treats me like an inanimate object otherwise, and rarely dances to music anymore unless my roommate is the one who plays it. (My roommate is very cautious with the bird, doesn't cuddle her inappropriately or anything).

I was unprepared as I'd never had this problem with my childhood Meyer's female - as we grew up together, she was my best friend through and through. I honestly wouldn't have minded had she remained like my untame budgie (whom I love with all my heart nonetheless) or stayed bonded to another bird. But seeing her be so lovey-dovey with another human, who doesn't share the bird-keeping responsibilities, is hurting my heart! I know this sounds trivial, but with all the energy and money I've spent on my birds through grad school (they had a vet checkup recently, it went well) I'm starting to ask myself why I'm even doing this?

I was hoping for any reassurance that things will calm down? In a few months I will be working outside of home full-time so being around the birds 24/7 is not sustainable. Ideally I just want my roommate and I to be on comparable footing at least.

Thanks so much for reading.

 

[Emeral]

Hi, sorry if this has been posted a number of times - I did do a search already, but I wasn't able to find satisfactory answers for my situation. I have a pineapple green cheek who is a little over 1 year old, unknown gender, however she recently has been trying to nest in small spaces around the house making me think she could be a female. So far she has not seemed overly aggressive or hormonal, but I believe she's rejected me and imprinted on my roommate out of nowhere.

I got her as an extremely anxious bird but she ended up getting along instantly with my untame male budgie. She still doesn't like hands, but I made a lot of progress with her over the year in getting her to step up, and rarely, she would let me scratch her head, try to preen my face. In the past few months she progressed to flying around the house following me wherever I went, though always at a distance. Since I'm in grad school my GCC would meet lots of new people since she was a few months old, but after stepping up for anyone else she would fly away soon after.

A week or so ago, she apparently randomly flew to my roommate, I was not home at the time. Since then, she follows my roommate like a puppy, even trying to squeeze through the crack of a closed door to get to her room, flying to her from across the room to preen her face etc. things she's never done for me. While my roommate is out, I have tried working from home the entire day with the birds out, in order to reestablish our friendship, but nothing has changed. She accepts food from me but treats me like an inanimate object otherwise, and rarely dances to music anymore unless my roommate is the one who plays it. (My roommate is very cautious with the bird, doesn't cuddle her inappropriately or anything).

I was unprepared as I'd never had this problem with my childhood Meyer's female - as we grew up together, she was my best friend through and through. I honestly wouldn't have minded had she remained like my untame budgie (whom I love with all my heart nonetheless) or stayed bonded to another bird. But seeing her be so lovey-dovey with another human, who doesn't share the bird-keeping responsibilities, is hurting my heart! I know this sounds trivial, but with all the energy and money I've spent on my birds through grad school (they had a vet checkup recently, it went well) I'm starting to ask myself why I'm even doing this?

I was hoping for any reassurance that things will calm down? In a few months I will be working outside of home full-time so being around the birds 24/7 is not sustainable. Ideally I just want my roommate and I to be on comparable footing at least.

Thanks so much for reading.

Hello babybean, and warm welcome to you and your birds. You can always ask if you need help. There's no need to apologize. We all need help from time to time.

To me, there are mainly three different questions here. Let's discuss them one at a time so they are easier to manage.

1) suspect egg laying behavior, for this issue, more details is needed.

Here, we got to list out her territorial behavior to understand how far she is in her hormonal affair.
How many hours of light does she has?
How many undisturbed, dark hours for sleep does she has?
Her food. Her cage. Her toy.
All have big influence.

2) the bird seem to love your roommate more, so you would prefer a comparable footing?

Do you mean, shared responsibilities such as cleaning and feeding? Teaching tricks?
and financial support?

For the tasks, you can certainly, make a list and schedule time to do them. Then, assertively ask for help. "Assertive communication" is the key here.

For the financial support, may be possible but there are many ways to look at it.
For example,
Some roommate may want to help, all you have to do is ask politely.
Some roommate may lend if you need help, financially.
Some roommate may charge for babysitting the bird? Since obligations doesn't come automatically from allowing a bird to follow. Obligations usually comes with owner ship.

3) how to make the bird loves you?
Usually there are many ways to bond, what have you tried and how did it go?
have you.....?

....call her name often
.....look at her eyes and be sensitive to her emotions
......talk to her or read to her
......praise her for positive reinforcement
.....teach her simple commands like good girl and No, to discourage unwanted behavior
....potty training
....teaching new tricks for bonding
.....take her out for a walk outdoor in a bubble carrier
.....identify her favorite food
....giving treats or playing with her
....spend time relaxing around her at least 4 hours a day, 2 in the morning and 2 before sun set. Then she needs to sleep.
....say good night before you put her to bed

Hopefully, you will find some satisfactory answers in the near future. However, if you provide us more details, our experienced members may be able to assist you better.

 

[Laurasea]

hello Baby bean,
We do often have people who share stories of their bird choosing someone else in the home. Even when the other person isn't interested in burds, which is a real kick in the pants.

I'd suggest you start over on bonding, pretend you just brought her home. Its a fresh slate and you work on building trust. For many a good start is to say hi ( name of bird) and give a treat ( safflower seeds are usually a favorite of GCC) then walk away. Try and do this like 50 times a day, every time she takes the seed say good birdie.

Create rituals and routines. Mornings are important to birds, its when they make sure everyone survived the night and re affirmation bonds before daily foraging. Do make sure that as soon as you get up you go and say hi. Try and spend 20 minutes together lots of baby talk and hanging out.

Make sure you always let her know when you are leaving the house. Tell her goodbye and give a treat. First thing you do when you get home is go say hello and give a treat . This helps them feel respected, abd important, and let's them feel they know what's going on .

Do very short simple training sessions. Like I tap a foot away from where mine is perched and say come here, then I give her a treat and really praise . Or I tap an object and ask her to touch it. Or I dhow her a seed and cover it with a scrap of paper abd praise her rhst she is so smart to figure out the seed is under there. Just simple fun things to do together .

 

[Scott]

Welcome to you and your wayward conure. Please know your issue is common but each situation vastly complex, so I thank you for posting!!

Sage advice posted previously, know a reset of relationship may be possible with love, patience, time. Popular trust/bonding thread may be helpful: https://www.parrotforums.com/threads/tips-for-bonding-and-building-trust.49144/

 

[babybean]

I appreciate everyone's responses, thank you.

Is re-building our bond going to be possible considering that my roommate is home most of the time? Like when my roommate is around, the bird doesn't seem to have eyes for anything but my roommate, and so now they've become mutually inseparable. I'm going to think about how to approach her, but it feels rather petty to ask her to step back from the birds for a while, since my GCC has been really important to her mental health lately and I don't want to ruin that.

 

[Laurasea]

Well it's a chance to grow, but it is tricky thing. Other members have had to tackle this with a spouse, significant other, or adult children still living at home. Hopefully they will stop by and share.

I live alone, so I have to tackle it the other way by getting my burds to socialize with Visiting family, house guests, significant others and friend's. So id say yes, you can.

Birds are flock creatures, and are able to have friends, and extended family relationships.
So I was able to bridge mine to hang out with others. I can even have them step from my hand to a strangers hand and take a treat, but they want to come right back to me. With people they see often they will hang out with them, and people with good burd reading skills can usually give kiss and snuggle. I have all visitors come and say hi, and put a treat in my treat only dish if they are caged. And I have them say goodbye and give a treat. So mine have learned other people equall yummy treats.

So in my mind it doesn't have to be all or nothing with your roommate. You just need to work on your relationship, and general socializing.