Loss and new bird? Pragmatism please.

[clark_conure]

I'm not posting this in bereavement because I'm not comfortable with things like that. I handle things internally.

Zod had an accident and passed 10/31/20.

I've looked for signs of sadness from Clark but it seems she has no issue with the situation, she gave her a kiss good bye. I buried her Monday next to the bush we planted together.

PLEASE no sympathy that will just make me upset more we did have an awesome last day as a flock...
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I'm looking for pragmatic answers. I don't want to dwell on what happened I spent the week coming to terms in private and I prefer that.

Zod and Clark got along, but there was sometimes jealousy fights. Zod was kind of bullied by Clark when Clark felt she wasn't getting enough attention when we were all together. I could leave them alone in the cage and they'd sit together side by side and sleep together but there was definite owner jealousy.

Clark is/was about a year older, and had her a year longer and she had bonded with me HARD and I think always resented me buying Zod even though they mostly got along, but not totally. (as "parronts" I'm sure most have you have seen the same thing).

I'm gone during the day now instead of nights and so Clark although she seems happier is still alone 8-9 hours a day now. We have about 1 1/2 hours in AM as I wake up and get ready the about 3 1/2 hours after work in the evening both time periods she is on me 24/7 and seemingly happier than ever now that the "competition" is no longer around. She is super cuddly and a definite one person bird but Zod was the smarter and more playful of the two, Clark just likes to sit and cuddle, sometimes play, where Zod would explore and entertain.

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The local areas at this time only have Canary Winged Bee Bee Parakeets a 10" bird same size as a conure but not as talkative and report-ably "stubborn" from searches.

I want Clark to have a buddy/sister during the day but I'm afraid:

1) I'm thinking more about me then Clark and she will NEVER accept another bird around me totally. And will be upset again.

2) The new bird would never be accepted by Clark and be bullied even if on 98% of the time he/she would be happy and prosper.

3) I'ts too soon.

4) I'm so used to a conures, that a different species I'd expect too much... compared to the antics of conures. (Citing that the Canary Winged Bee Bee Parakeet is more stubborn and harder to train and less of a talker according to the internet threads I read, although some youtube videos show remarkable birds that don't seem like that at all.)

5) Clark seems more playful now, grabbing her ball and carrying it up on my shoulder to play "fight over the ball" and etc.


I guess I just need talking out of it, that she's fine and a tragedy happened and she's ok with it. Even if she has alone time now....

I dunno.

Any advice I'll take, and anyone with first hand Canary Winged Bee Bee Parakeet knowledge I'd like to hear from.

I think that's it...

Unless maybe another conure again once they are back in season usually around January-April it seems. I thought about a larger one Clark couldn't bully like a Sun conure or Jenday, but that might be even worse.

Any pragmatic advice is appreciated.

 

[chris-md]

Pragmatic you shall have:

You have been around a long time, you know what we always say never get a second bird because “you want your bird to have a friend”. You never know if they’ll get along. Only get a bird if YOU want a second bird.

So I recommend giving it more time, the passing is fresh and may not be thinking too clearly yet where it comes to introducing a second bird.

 

[mica21493]

I do think some animals are happier without competition. If Clark seems happy and seems to want to be an only bird for awhile I'd give it a chance. You can always get another bird at a later date if either you and/or Clark become unhappy with the single bird situation.

 

[noodles123]

Is there a reason you feel the need to have another bird? You said no sympathy, so I it feels awkward to ask without saying anything else...but..trying to honor your request. They don't NEED another parrot if they are bonded to you and you can make it work..
I feel like you would be bringing new birds into a bad situation because, if my inference is correct, there was some bird-on-bird conflict here...and getting another would not solve that.

 

[clark_conure]

thanks, sometimes we need a sanity check. I would still like to hear from anyone who knows about Canary Winged Bee Bee Parakeets but I think I'm feeling ok sometimes you just need a sound board.

 

[clark_conure]

Not for nothing Zod was happy and loved me (not clark), I may have been a bit too hyperbolic before, but it wasn't ideal for her when we were together and Clark was jealous. At first it was as a baby, but then I would have to break up fights and separate them on different shoulders after the second year so.... yeah hormones. I'm not going to do anything rash for a while I hope. I have to much going on anyways;

 

[Laurasea]

Tadah lost her friend, and did grieve, tge others didn't as far as I can tell. The flock dynamic did shake up, with Tadah backed by Neptune lost her top bird status to Pikachu. Pikachu is getting bossy with everybody, tho still a sweet boy.

Tadah went through a very clinging time with me for months....i keep toying with the. idea of a GCC for her....ya ya I know

Anyway I think your best chance is to get tge opposite sex parrot it seems to increase the odds of them getting along, even if its a different species if you choose to get a second bird.

 

[clark_conure]

I'd kinda like her to be with a male and ignore me 20% more or so but I can't handle raising nestlings....Not that it doesn't appeal but I'm single and work. Even if another species of male got her "off" she'd start laying eggs and all the issues with that. Even if not fertile. Then egg bounding and ....I dunno. I'm just gonna wait a bit and slow a bit I think. I mean Clark seams happier than ever so....if she's happy being at home alone as a housewife with a radio while I'm at work maybe I'm putting to much of me into it. I just think Zod was super fun. But then Clark is turning more into what zod was like she was resentful to me but loved me the entire time. it's confusing but kind of makes a sad sense to it all....if you were a dinosaur.

 

[ParrotGenie]

I would forget the ideal altogether of introducing another bird to her, even if it is a bigger conure. The issue is your bird consider you a mate and bringing another bird into the mix is just asking for trouble.

Even if you were trying to find her a male bird to mate with? She likely kill, or cause serious injuries to the male. I use to breed birds and work with breeder, rescues/sanctuaries once you get a aggressive mate they get separated. If they kill, or seriously injured another bird they won't get another mate. In your case she considers you a mate, so that bird can never get along with a different bird as a mate. So best not to risk it. If you absolutely have to get another bird separate cages you can keep the cages next to each other and during out of cage time supervised at all times.

 

[noodles123]

I'd kinda like her to be with a male and ignore me 20% more or so but I can't handle raising nestlings....Not that it doesn't appeal but I'm single and work. Even if another species of male got her "off" she'd start laying eggs and all the issues with that. Even if not fertile. Then egg bounding and ....I dunno. I'm just gonna wait a bit and slow a bit I think. I mean Clark seams happier than ever so....if she's happy being at home alone as a housewife with a radio while I'm at work maybe I'm putting to much of me into it. I just think Zod was super fun. But then Clark is turning more into what zod was like she was resentful to me but loved me the entire time. it's confusing but kind of makes a sad sense to it all....if you were a dinosaur.

I would not recommend getting another just because you are worried. I get it though -- You will absolutely need to make her a definite priority for a few hours each morning and evening (I am single too and I work full-time (in person)--exhausting as it is, it is very important that you give your bird out-of-cage attention- and I manage to get mine 4 hours minimum on week-days due to scheduling etc (8+ weekends)--the perk is, yours doesn't necessarily need 12 hours of sleep!) 10 could work and that opens up more options with regard to work hours etc.

I do believe you could do it though if you schedule around it..It isn't easy-- don't get me wrong. But a conure can get by on 10 hours or sleep, so you do have some wiggle room.

 

[clark_conure]

Thank you NOODLES, PARROTGENIE, Laurasea,
mica21493, chris-md !!!!


I needed to step back and do a sanity check.

 

[wrench13]

So I do have first hand Canary Wing Parrot or Bee Bee parrot experience. They are very playfull, intensely curious and absolutely fearless when it comes to other parrots and much else. Mine used to bully cockatoos when put into the group play area at my local parrot store. They are like conures in that they love to snuggle in hands, pockets ( hence the nickname pocket parrot) and shirts. Mine never really talked, but learned several whistling tunes. Unlike Salty, I never tried doing any training for tricks with him, but he was a smart little parrot. Max picked me out of a whole brood of maybe a dozen young birds - hopped on my hand and gave me a wolf whistle.

I hope this helps you decide.

 

[T00tsyd]

My Dad always gave me the 'if in doubt don't' mantra for life. It has come in handy many times. I would wait until you are sure.

 

[Flboy]

It’s a hard place! Give it time!

 

[clark_conure]

Thank you for the info wrench13....I really appreciate it. Flboy, T00tsyd, thank you as well. I'm going to give it time. Even though as clark seems happier than ever even though I'm not.


In sundays post "I got a new parrot"!!!! no I'm not going to do that. I agree it sucks, we need time.

 

[T00tsyd]

Thank you for the info wrench13....I really appreciate it. Flboy, T00tsyd, thank you as well. I'm going to give it time. Even though as clark seems happier than ever even though I'm not.


In sundays post "I got a new parrot"!!!! no I'm not going to do that. I agree it sucks, we need time.

Of course never say never. You may come across a little feathered friend who gives you little choice and adopts you without your permission. Just like Laurasea who hoped for a quiet life until she was caught. In the end it will be what you want rather than Clark. Believe it or not you are the boss despite what Clark may think.

 

[fiddlejen]

You seem to have resolved your question and I am coming late but I will just add my thought. IF IF you remain concerned about the hours your parrot now spends alone, but not wanting to add another full-on responsibility.

My parakeets, as a pair, are Not demanding of my attention and are mostly happy entertaining each other. When I was going off to work each day, their cages next to each other, Sunny was therefore not alone. But they were all Never required to interact with each other.

Similarly, I have a friend with a somewhat larger bird (I always forget the type - but the next size Up from a conure) -- she is actually home with her bird but she has a Canary (-not- a canary-wing but Canary) that lives in a spacious cage next to the parrot's cage.

Another friend has a flight cage of finches. Etc.

I am mentioning these as possibilities, IF you feel it would be healthier for Clark to not be alone, but if (as seems) don't want another full-on-Relationship-Bird right now, & also don't want to negotiate a Clark<->Other-Bird relationship either.

IN that case, my suggestions are canary / finches / petstore (ie NOT hand-raised) budgies. So that, again, Clark is Not required to interact with the new additions, & they will Not require a jealousy-inducing relationship with you, but, they can live in a cage nearby so that Clark is not entirely Alone without you.

 

[SailBoat]

I will stand here near you good friend...
As you well know, I'm all about Amazons, so will reframe any comment regarding direction.
Having survived far too many losses, I will pass along my prays and knowledge that you are surrounded by those who have been on this path and understand...

Huge, Warm, Amazon Feather Hugs My Good Friend!
Steven,

 

[Betrisher]

Our galah companion of many years died suddenly of cancer. We were all devastated and I advised the family that we needed to grieve Dommie's loss before even thinking about a new parrot. It was maybe a fortnight before the kids came to me and said 'Mum! We need a bird on the fridge! It's not the same...'

That's how we got Rosetta (corella).

She's a handful, there's no doubt about it. They say 'two-year-old on steroids', but that goes nowhere near 'Setta's level of energy. She requires constant occupation, chew toys, a bathing pool and company. Sometimes, it can be hard to provide enough for her, but the thing is we *love* her dearly and so we continue to keep doing our best for her.

What I'm saying is, we didn't follow the 'wait until after loss and grief have passed' rule. We just jumped right in and got another bird and it has been a *happy* mistake all round. 'Setta got a better life and we got the most beautiful, loving and entertaining bird in the world!

As other members will know, I'm not a fan of keeping singleton birds. It's bad enough that we gaol them in small cages (there is no such thing as a 'big enough' cage for a bird), but then we deprive them of the natural solace of a friend of the same species. I believe it's only fair to keep opposite-sex pairs so that hormonal behaviour has a natural outlet. My Alexandrines get to preen each other, roost together, mate with varying degrees of frequency and they don't nest because I don't give them materials with which to do so. Win-win.

I've been searching for a mate for Rosetta for over a year now, with no success. Because of their OTT personalities, corellas aren't commonly kept where I live and, being that I live at the edges of a city, it's even harder to find a man for my little white woman. (The sound of a corella-bellow is something only the stoutest ear canals can bear, I promise. In fact, the little darling is bellowing aloud right now).

Bottom line: do what you *want* to do. No one else can know your own feelings about your birds or how you keep them. It's really what you want that matters.

 

[Scott]

Unfortunately I don't have experience with either species, but the well discussed general rule of second bird seems to apply. I'd give yourself and Clark a while before making a decision. My hunch is over time you'll come to a comfortable conclusion.