It's me or the bird - Mom Edition

[LoveMyConlan]

In my crazy flock we have 5 fids...

- Conlan...female Gcc, 2.5 years old
- Mouse... Female Sun Conure, turns 2 next month
- Kellan.... Jenday Conure male, 1.5 years old
- Happy... Red Lored Amazon, older rescue
- Rhage... B&G Macaw, 5 months old

My mother gets along great with everyone... Except Happy, who is partially blind with arthritis and isn't a people bird and isn't into much interaction with anyone..... And then there's Kellan. My sweet little loudmouth.

Kellan is sweet as pie with me but HATES everyone else. I'm talking full ruffled feathers, open beak, lunging, screaming, weaving.... With anyone but me. No matter what I've tried he's not budging on being ok with others.

Today, I had to leave early for work, and due to getting up late, asked my mother to feed and water the birds. No problems. Until she got to Kellan and he came out of the cage at her and wouldn't go back in until she tossed a towel on his head. He is clipped but he got out onto the side of the cage and stalked her, which I've seen him do many times before.

She pulled the 'the bird has to go, or I'm not taking care of it' routine. In a joking manner of course.

I looked her dead in the eye and said, in a completely serious manner,.... Since I pay most of the bills in this house, YOU are free to go at any time. Kellan will gladly see you out the door

Don't you mess with my babies ROFL. And I feel no remorse. I know it was a joke, but my fids come first, mother dearest. Ain't I a horrible offspring?

 

[Flboy]

......Ouch.......

 

[Scott]

Kudos for maintaining your principles! Sometimes a bit of humor can defuse an potentially escalating situation!!

 

[plumsmum2005]

Show some respect to your parent LOL! Poor Mom being stalked by a stroppy parrot.
Perhaps you can perfect a method whereby she can do this favour for you but a little easier on her wdyt?

 

[Kentuckienne]

As a fellow step-parront, I feel sympathy for your mom. You say you pay most of the bills, but is it your house or her house?

As parront and human, it's your responsibility to make sure the other humans in the home are treated right. Our birds have rights and deserve to be happy and loved, and so do our fellow humans. As a former step-parent of human kids, I know it's not the kid's fault for acting out. They want you gone, they want the real parent back or they want the other parent to themselves. So original parent has a choice: take responsibility and work with their child to help them accept a situation they don't like - another human around, things are not going back to the way they were, this is how life works - with love and kindness. A human who isn't willing to do that doesn't deserve a companion. It's up to the new person to decide if mistreatment and unhappiness at home, being blamed and hated by the kids, not being supported by the other adult, is worthwhile or if they should leave.

My husband and I worked through our bird issues because I loved him, he did what he could to make things work and I did what I could to earn the bird's trust, and I was willing to accept the situation. The bird was there first, and I wasn't going to ask him to rehome it. It's my right to have a harmonious home life, and if the situation hadn't been tolerable it would have been my right to say so, and to leave it. It would have been his right to decide what to do with that. Your mom is perfectly, solidly, completely within her rights to ask to live in a home where she is not afraid. It's not the birds' fault for being loud, messy, bitey, or taking up space. It's 100% your job to keep the noise to a minimum, keep the place clean every day, make sure everyone is able to enjoy a readonable degree of peace at home, and to feed and water them. If you are late to work because you have to care for your fids, you are late to work.

Our birds need love and affection and care, and deserve to have their humans stand by them and not shuffle them off to the bird orphanage if they become inconvenient. The humans in our lives deserve no less.

 

[Kentuckienne]

PS I say that with fond affection, I love hearing about your adventures in Conureville (and now Amazontown etc) just feeling sympathy as one of the unloved-by-parrots horde...

 

[GaleriaGila]

Poor Mr. Rival (my ol' man, and the parrot's nemesis) will resonate...
This place has offered us a venue for humor/resolution/venting.
I'm sure he'll be along with a few Rival-y retorts!

 

[itzjbean]

I have no idea what your family/home situation is, but I would show a little more respect to your mother. I'm assuming she raised you, right? Not the best way to repay her everything she did fro you -- 'Feed my birds. One attacked you? Too bad. Don't like it? There's the door.' Ouch....

Maybe you could offer to work with her around the birds so they are more comfortable around her? It's not really fair for you to ask her to care for them while you are gone, and they 'stalk' or attack her, and you feel no remorse for this? Show a little compassion maybe...

 

[Rival_of_the_Rickeybird]

Like I always say...... I love my lady. My lady loves the bird. So I love...... MY LADY! :58:

 

[wrench13]

Sorry, but your Mom needs to learn to work arouund your birds. They can not go out and rent an appartment, or apply for SS or get medicare.

 

[Taw5106]

"Bye Mom!" OK got that out of my system. My Zon Buddy is my "Punk". He flips his wings at my Mother and Sister, and bites his bars trying to show them how big and bad he is (not). My Mother has cared for him at her home several times and while he does his "I don't like you" routine he can't wait for her to put fresh food in his bowl to eat, then he acts like he hates her again after his tummy is full. Note that he makes all his Happy sounds while stuffing his face, he forgets who gave him his food lol. My Mother keeps notes on my fids favorite foods and I'm required to take favorite treats over for sitting purposes. So far it's working well.

So, Mom needs to know what your fid likes and have fid faves available. Meals need to be fids liked and given by Mom to eat to win browny points by your did. Also, my Mother was so determined to win Buddy (my Zon) over, she kept trying and she can give him a head scratch now. I'm not advocating that, just showing a goal my Mother made and her success she made through food with my green pig Zon Buddy after weeks of effort.

Birds chose their peeps for sure and we must adapt. My Buddy gives everyone a sweet "Hellooooo" then tries to attack them after sucking him in close to his cage. He's a punk brat lol'


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