Is this spoiling?

[KatherineI]

So my friend with Too's and I talked for the first time in 2 weeks today (she was on vacation, lucky woman!) and when I told her about something with Sugar, she immediately said "You are spoiling that bird and are going to ruin her and create major issues down the line."

So, now I'm wondering how right she is.

Sugar is very much bonded to me already. She doesn't not go to others, she's quite happy to go to Hubs and occasionally our daughter. But she lights up when I enter the room. Now, the thing that my friend commented on is how, almost every evening, Sugar wants a certain kind of attention. She'll take it from Hubs, but definitely prefers it from me, leaving him in favor of me even while he's doing it. What it is, is she wants her head/neck rubbed. I use one hand and rub her crest and neck simultaneously, usually while sitting up in bed (the birds cages are in our bedroom) and she perches pretty much in the same spot every time, on my left breast with her head either at/on my shoulder/collarbone or facing the other breast. Often with her head down as low as she can get it while I rub. I equate it to rocking a baby to sleep, because she pretty much only wants this at the end of the day, when we're winding down for the night.

I'm happy to do it, I enjoy this sort of special one-on-one time. There are evenings when we don't do this, but they are few and far between and I can tell that she's not quite thrilled at not getting "her" time, but she doesn't freak out. She just doesn't settle down to sleep as easily and grinds her beak a little less than most nights. Nothing super neurotic or anything.

So I'm wondering what other's opinions on this are.

 

[Safira]

I don't think that kind of attention is bad, but her expecting it at a certian time of day might be. Parrots can become use to routine very quickly, and the change in it can make them act out (screaming, or other destructive behavior.)

I would try maybe switching times when you cuddle like that if you can every other, or every two days to keep her guessing.

 

[greycloud]

You mean like this?
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y467tPu79i4"]Cockatoo love - YouTube[/ame]

I want you to notice how Sammy licks while I am petting him. I could hear him doing this and that is why I stopped. This is an excited or sexual behavior. He also rolls spit balls which is common with male Umbrellas.
How old is Sugar? If she is over 4 years of age I would limit my cuddle times. A sexually excited Umbrella can be a difficult bird and lead to biting if they don't get what they want.
Are you spoiling her? No, she is enjoying cuddles but there must be a limit to the cuddles. Also if she should show any aggression toward any of you while you are cuddling you need to stop.
Questions?

 

[KatherineI]

Very much like that tongue and all. She's only 1, so it's certainly not sexual in nature, we equated it to being more of a baby behavior. I love the cuddle time and the interaction and I won't lie, I'm hesitant to stop. Sugar is sort of a "replacement", in a sense, for the baby we will never be able to have and so I really enjoy this time with Sugar. I'm disappointed that we have to curb it since its something we both enjoy

 

[greycloud]

I understand. But remember, she does not know how you see her as a replacement. She is selfish and just knows she loves the cuddles. You need to remember she is a bird and accept her for what she is. At 1 year old you are responsible for shaping her whole future. If you cuddle her everyday and let's say you become ill or go on vacation, she is going to expect that cuddle time everyday. Not getting it from you may cause behavior problems to develop such as screaming or plucking. So my advice to you is to not have a set time you cuddle, keep cuddles to just a few minutes and praise her when she goes to others.

 

[KatherineI]

Gotcha. Thank you.

And I do appreciate her for what she is. I mean, you can't put your infant in a cage and go out to dinner without hiring a sitter

 

[GiosMom]

He is super cuddly! Thanks for the info also Graycloud I would never have thought that head scratching leads to sexual behavior...I thought below the neck wasn't good but head and neck were fine. See I'm always learning

 

[Lesa1211]

Kia likes the same exact thing. I wont do it at any specific time of the day tho, so it's random and she's not expecting it. That way Im not developing a routine with her just in case I cant do it at a specific time. I say give her the cuddles, but make it random.

 

[greycloud]

Toos are such a different type of bird. They are like puppies. They desire touch and their loving behavior makes us pet them. My scritching of Sammy and snuggles are not on a schedule. Some days he gets it, some days not.

 

[KatherineI]

See, I love doing this with her and I get what everyone is saying, that it's okay in moderation and to spread it out to different times. The issue I find, is that this is the only time she will do this. She is not a cuddly bird like many Too's. Right before bed is the only time I can get her to snuggle, pretty much ever.

Except for the day we used the towel. Then she needed lots and lots of comforting and reassurance So.. I think that's more my dilemma than anything else. It's not doing it exactly, it's being routine about it. Yet it's not me who's setting the routine. Hmm....

 

[Mozzie]

I don't think she is spoiled, just loved ALOT!

 

[lene1949]

I don't think you're spoiling her... We all do many things for our parrots, which, should we fall ill, might not happen...

All our birds have different needs, and we try our best to meet them...

As long as you don't cuddle with her for hours on end, I think she'll be fine.. (10-15 minutes on most days to half an hour occasionally).

 

[Remy]

Puck likes to snuggle in my PJs at night, but he won't do it during the day either. He'll kind of whine for it sometimes, depending on which room he's sleeping in (living room, my room, or my bf's house; he only really whines for snuggles in my room). Sooooo cute. I'm not super worried about over-bonding in his case though, because I am also the first one that he'll bite.

 

[terry52449]

Both Cameo and Tasha love to cuddle the same way. I spend time cuddling with each sporaticly. Never at the same time of day and not everyday. It is a very special time spent with your bird and never give that up. Just try to alter days and times.