I need to vent, first real challenge with Parker

[chris-md]

so ill preface this with its nothing I can't handle, but it's so sudden it's fracking frustrating and I just need to vent.

Parker up until recently has been just the model of dream perfection. But this last week or so he's presenting somewhat defiant behavior, seeming a bit more grumpy. He's not stepping up quite as often from his cage, he's a bit more aggressive with his beak (not outright strikes but grabbing as ekkies are wont to do, but bites down much harder than usual), even once lunging at me through the cage bars.

His issues could be one or a combo of a few thing I'm working to address, some I can handle and others just need time to pass. I know I can deal with this and it will be fine because it's actually not that bad right now. But when your sweet baby unexpectedly becomes somewhat of an actual brat, it's SO hard not to take that personally. Does it make me a horrible person to say I'm not really feeling him right now?

 

[Solo]

It's hard...just like a child saying that they hate you. It doesn't mean they actually do..they're just in a mood. It is hard not to take it personally, but you can't. Take a break and calm down if you need to, but come back fresh without a grudge. With my shepherd when he was teething I remember running to my mom telling her "I think I made a huge mistake getting him". It was a tough couple months, but we got through it and he is the best decision I've ever made!

 

[Dinosrawr]

Hah! You're totally normal. Or at least in my eyes. My IRN has gone from poster-boy sweet parrot to terrorizing monster (though that's definitely an exaggeration). He actually purposefully lunged at my boyfriend's face yesterday... we were shocked !

And when he acts up, I certainly don't "feel" him either. It can be frustrating. But it certainly doesn't mean we don't love them. It's normal imo to get frustrated or upset, we're emotional creatures too. Yesterday I was almost in tears because he put a hole in a new shirt, and I have zero money for clothes shopping right now. He quite intentionally made the hole too, the little bugger.

In other words, don't feel bad. Pretty sure every type of parent in the world needed to vent about their kids at some point

 

[AJBirds]

Chris, have you tried trick-training to reduce the issues? Apparently that helps birds to see obeying you as a kind of game.

Edit to add, Chantal: Soon after I got Pixie, I wore my new, 100% wool cardigan around her. One of the buttons - the fancy, two thingamabobs covered in wool type - was destroyed in seconds, rendering the garment unuseable. I've since learned my lesson: Disposable (buttonless) hoodies around her only. My husband also wears "disposable" shirts around her, and most of them are now missing buttons and/or have holes. Gotta love birds who encourage us to dress like slobs (or worse).

 

[Dinosrawr]

Yep! I generally hang out with them looking like a total slob. Our general warning when someone walks into the room... if it's expensive and you like it, don't wear it near the birds

 

[Dopey]

My male Ekkie bit me several times without warning. Now I watch him very closely when I have him step up. He loves to step up from inside his cage or from a perch but if he's on the outside of the cage...99% sure he isn't going to step up. However, I now look him in the eye when he gives me an attitude...get his attention...and then say "step up" in a lower voice and 99% of the time he steps up.

Showers (or spritzes - soak them down) tend to put my Ekkie's in a better mood.

Have you changed his food or rearranged his cage? Just trying to help you think outside the box as to why.

 

[chris-md]

I appreciate the commiseration, its really not that bad at all but I'm a bit more taken aback than I thought I would be!

AJ/Chantal, I'm a cashmere guy (love my discounted Macy's cashmere ), but I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that around Parker, and now that you're pointing out buttons I need to be careful because I do wear polos to work *eep*

Dopey, I appreciate the guidance. A number of things have changed recently, so I'm aware they could be the primary source:
1. I've not been myself this week, constantly tired and somewhat sickly so he could be responding to that.
2. I have changed his food a bit. To get him to eat more variety, for his dinner I'm serving him all the stuff he refuses to eat, i.e. he doesn't really like to eat anything orange so I give him bowl after bowl of pure orange stuff (carrots, squash, cataloupe, etc). Hes by no means starving because he does get some treats here and there between attempts at the dinner bowl, and his dish of dry stuff at bedtime in case he gets peckish at night. He still gets familiar stuff in the morning since that all needs to be veggies that can sit around for 12 hours, like peas carrots and corn.
3. Hes going through somewhat of a hard molt right now

There are one or two other things that could be going on, just can't remember them off the top of my head right now. Some stuff like molting only time can take care of, like the molt though his showers I'm giving him every othe rday or so I'm hoping are helping some. Others, I'm working on addressing.

 

[Dopey]

So, it all adds up. You have done such a great job with him. Since he is going through a hard molt right now maybe you could ease up on him and give him the things he likes to eat at night and save the food switches for another time. I know you are working on it. I don't think it's hurting him but think of it as a comfort for him right now.

Keep up the good work.

 

[Birdman666]

Oh man, if he's going through a hard molt NO WONDER!

He's probably feeling miserable at the moment.

Increase bathing helps during hard molts. He'll be back to his sweet self when it's over.

Sweepea about drove me nuts during her dismantle everything/testing phase.

Tusk just recently went through a two to three week period where he was giving me daily blood draws for putting him back in his cage when he didn't want to go.

Every so often, you have to butt heads with them. (And then it's like nothing happened.)

Sometimes there isn't even a why...

But as long as the behavior stops, who cares.

Goes with the territory.

 

[Anansi]

It may very well be the hard molt. Or the recent changes. Or the change in diet.

Or it could be the fact that he's new to your home and just now feeling settled... settled enough for the "honeymoon phase" to be over and for his cage to start feeling like his personal space.

Most of the behaviors you described seem to be centered around his cage. (Not stepping up as often from his cage. Lunging at you through the cage bars.) Tell me, does he also exhibit these behaviors when out of sight of his cage?

Not saying the other possibilities are wrong. Just presenting an alternate theory. It could even be a combination of factors for all we know. I just don't think we can rule out territorial behavior as a possibility, going by what you've posted.

 

[GreatBlue320]

I'm not experienced enough to offer advice, Chris, but I can say that I've had the same frustrations with my human and bird kids... many times. It is just part of being a parent/parront. I can tell you that these frustrating periods do pass. Doesn't make them any less difficult, but at least you know that it won't stay like this forever!

 

[Scott]

What you are experiencing is hopefully a transient blip of negativity. It happens to all of us, so please don't be discouraged.

Many of my birds are going through a hard molt, and coupled with the high temps they are behaving very badly! Some of my sweetest Goffins go from cuddly to crotchety in a split second. I may have to temporarily (hopefully) remove one from the bird-room as his territoriality and teasing of siblings is getting out of hand.

 

[chris-md]

This forum is just amazing. I was never this dramatic with my previous conure, never paid attention to all this and just took things as they come. I knew to expect this stuff but older age (31, yes but this was 12 years ago) has made me a tad more sensitive.

Today was better. Interestingly , eased tensions coincided with the shedding of a few large feathers the night before. Can't help but think that might have played a part!