I need advice folks..

[AmyMyBlueFront]

this may be long,sorry... my buddy DJ ( Jonesy's old parront) has a Umby.
He has had Pookie about 24 years now,got her from a coupe who could not care for her when she was about 4 years old.
Pookie had a "mate" some years back,and one day the mate attacked Pookie for reasons unknown,and removed one of her eyes. DJ took her to the vet and the vet was able to get it back in her head,but she lost sight in it.

To me,DJ does NOT take proper care of that poor bird. She does come out of her cage every day and is very lovey to DJ,but DJ works at Pratt and Whitney on 2nd shift. DJ is also a bit handicapped with shoulder problems from a car accident that the doctors messed up,doing surgery on it twice and its still not right. From the accident he also has neck/back problems,and on top of it all,he broke his foot at work,and has a piece of bone floating around in it and workers comp is giving him grief about that ( long story I wont get in to) So DJ is in constant pain from his shoulder and foot...the poor guy is only 51 years old.

Now back to Pookie..I have seen her..she is terrified of anyone. Does the 'Big Bird" thing. All poofed up...hat high..arms out a bit...tail spread..shuffles from foot to foot on her perch..sometimes hisses at me or clicks her beak.
I stay on her "good' side so she can see me.

The poor bird has a large cage with TWO perches in it..ONE hanging toy,and a rope type swing..thats IT! the bottom of her house has a huge pile of poopy newspapers..he just throws papers on top of papers...then after who knows how long...changes them.
I see a water bowl,and a bowl of SEED..When she is out,she does get 'nanna's or some of what DJ eats. She has her "Pookie blanky" on the couch that he says she loves to crawl under,and do her "Pookie scratching" and has made a couple small holes in it that she likes to peer out of and look at DJ. According to him she IS very lovey..gets scratches and kissys..
But she SCREAMS..he gets home about 1 am..is hurting from work..and by the time he gets to bed,it might be 2 am or later,and by 8 am she is SCREAMING he says..for attention.
He SCREAMS right back at her..he says he beats on her cage with a BROOM STICK telling her to shut up
He goes as far as putting her in her carry crate and puts her in the bath tub..he says she "likes it and plays in it by herself"..ya...RIGHT!

To me,she is being definitely mis treated.. I cant say ANYTHING to him about it he tells me to shut up I don't know the bird or situation etc.
He won't let her out when I visit coz he says she is terrified of anything or anyone new.
She climbs all over him..obviously she loves him.
Now I understand why Jonesy screamed!
He's been thinking of rehoming her coz with all the stress in his life ( his shoulder,foot..mom has lung cancer and isn't doing well recently)
I was going to ask if I could take her,but I do NOT need a screamer! I know how 'too's can be lol.

Poor Pookie wish I could help..
Thanks for reading/putting up with me venting/any advice/suggestions..


Jim
P

 

[GaleriaGila]

Oh, geez...
Heart-breaking.
You're brave just to be witnessing and trying.
I'm so squeamish and uncourageous. I run from stuff like that. Can't even go into a bird store.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT??????????????????????

 

[Flboy]

So wrong! I understand, your friend is going through major depression! And the ugly 50!
But his companion is paying the price!

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

Oh, geez...
Heart-breaking.
You're brave just to be witnessing and trying.
I'm so squeamish and uncourageous. I run from stuff like that. Can't even go into a bird store.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT??????????????????????

Wish I knew,Ms Gail..

BTW...I just took a couple new pics of Amy tonight..try to get them off to you tomorrow.


Jim

 

[BeatriceC]

If y'all didn't live across the country and I didn't just take in another bird...

I'm definitely not afraid of a challenging bird. Oscar was billed as "difficult". Yeah, he's a freaking marshmallow and a really quick learner. I suppose after Charlotte, my definition of "difficult" has changed rather dramatically.

I hope the poor guy finds a good human soon.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Jim, my paintbrushes are at the ready!

Beatrice et al...
Yes, may the forces that be bring this bird to a good home.

 

[SailBoat]

Well you asked!

Your friend is likely taking Pain Pills and has for sometime. In addition, life is closing in around him. Depression and the fact that the Pain Pills are no longer working defines his World. If he does not make changes, he will continue to spin deeper. What you are seeing in Bird Cage likely defines the surroundings, i.e. the home itself.

Now the Big Question:

What are you willing to do? Do a spot cleaning of the Parrots surroundings and upgrade them? Do an area cleaning around the Bird Cage? Take on the full house? Take your Friend to get help? Take care, the answer here defines what level of friend you are!

What other resources are available to him? extended family, social services, his work place, car accident extended care, etc...

Clearly, neither I, nor the Forum needs to know your answers!

 

[Scott]

Thanks for caring, Jim. A confluence of bad luck and circumstances every which way, and of course none of this is the fault of Pookie.

I think Steven and David examined every angle of this sad story. Pookie is probably a "safe" constant in DJ's life; not so sure he will willingly find her another home. Perhaps the best you can do is offer to make some basic improvements to Pookie's cage and diet. If not chop, at least a quality pellet mix is better than seed and a few scraps.

 

[Flboy]

Jim,
Become a bright spot for Pookie! Visits, cage/environment cleanup, buddy building! This should help DJ too! Your intervention may divert your friend's potential direction!

 

[MrsBigE]

Hi Jim!
I first read your post last night and went to bed with a heavy heart - both for Pookie and for DJ. Today my heart is just as heavy and I know the only way I can get past this is to feel that I've somehow stepped up and helped. I'm not wealthy by any stretch but I'd like to send some stuff to you to add to Pookies cage.

I understand excessive chronic pain and all the ways it affects your entire life. It changes you. You either succumb to the pain or you take narcotics - either way, you're not yourself most times and everything that you loved to do, things you loved in your life all become things you wish you could do and enjoy again.
I'm sure your friendship is a bright spot for him even though he may not show it. Sometimes you just don't feel like dealing with people - the pain and all the fallout cause you to become reclusive. If you're willing to keep with him you could be his saving grace. It's a lot to take on but I'm sure he's worth it. At the worst times there is little hope.

With Pookie being his companion for 24 years they have a bond that's got to be really strong. I'm sure he wasn't always impatient and borderline abusive to DJ. It sounds like Pookie understands DJ's pain and is compassionate towards him. My husband always tells me that my dogs know when I'm not feeling good and they try to help emotionally with extra love. I don't know how long DJ has been on a declining state but it could be that the new behaviors are a new normal and Pookie is trying to make do.

I don't feel Pookie should have to "make do" but those are my feelings. Even when I'm at my worst, my animals come just after my kids. Although, my kids says it is actually in reverse.... especially with Bambam(my baby U2) and my lil Shih Tzu, Doodles.

Sorry to be long-winded but this situation really tugs on my heart. I'm new here, still learning about birds etc... but - my compassion and love of helping where needed are lifelong. I don't mean to offend anyone, including DJ. Maybe knowing people who don't know him still want to help him and Pookie will give him some joy and a much needed glimmer of hope.

Please let me know if you'd be willing to let me send some things for Pookie.
Until then, I'll add Pookie, DJ and you to my prayers.
Peg

 

[Kentuckienne]

You might suggest that instead of putting new paper on top of the dirty paper, he can put in a big stack of clean paper, and then just pull off the top one and throw it out. It's a lot less work than putting a clean page on top, and at least gets most of the solids out of the cage.

 

[ToMang07]

Sitting here with Willow on my shoulder, and I still not sure how to respond to this one.

It's a "rock and a hard place" kinda situation.

I guess, depending on how well you know the guy, and how good of friends you guys are, it sounds like a heart-to-heart sit down is in order. Talk it through, honestly, and offer what you're willing to do to help.

Tough situation.

 

[plumsmum2005]

Agree with ToMang07, sometimes people just dig themselves a large hole and then cannot see a way out. You could be the lifeline he needs? Avoid confrontation but make sure he knows you are there to help IMO. Good luck.

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

Hi folks..

I'm going to try and get over to see them this weekend..Unfortunately DJ lives almost an hour away from me but that's no real big problem.

We do breakfast at least once a week and I visit for a couple hours.
I have a couple toys that Amy isen't interested in and will give 'em to Pookie. I have given DJ a container of Nutraberries which she seems to like.
I'll bring my camera and see if I can get a picture or two of her.

Thanks folks for all your input/advice/caring..one of many reasons I love this community.

Jim

 

[Scott]

Sounds great, Jim! For now you can be an awesome role-model, helping a bit here and there. See how DJ reacts, I am sure he will be grateful.

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

Ok...I was planning on visiting today (Saturday) but a major snow storm is barreling down towards us and I'm not too keen in driving in snow.

I talked with DJ tonight,and since both of us have this weekend off from work,we made plans to do breakfast and for me to visit Sunday.
I have a couple of toys Amy isn't interested in and picked up a small container of 'Berries for Pook.

I'll bring my camera and see if I can take a couple pictures...DJ may just tell me "Don't take the camera out and try to take pics...it'll freak Pookie out and send her into a frenzy" We shall see...

Jim

 

[GaleriaGila]

Dude, you FIGHT the good FIGHT!
Good luck!
We are with ya!

 

[Kentuckienne]

Do you think he would let you take Pookie for just a couple of weeks, to have a break from the chores? Maybe it's just been too much and a little vacation will help. If he's been wanting to not be a parront but feels guilty to say it, it's a way out. Sometimes a little break can help a parrot stay in their home eventually. On the other hand...do you think he depends on her? I have a dear friend who might not be here today but for his sense of responsibility to his bird. And it might be hard on Pookie to be suddenly separated. There's just no good single way. Every choice is fraught.

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

Do you think he would let you take Pookie for just a couple of weeks, to have a break from the chores? Maybe it's just been too much and a little vacation will help. If he's been wanting to not be a parront but feels guilty to say it, it's a way out. Sometimes a little break can help a parrot stay in their home eventually. On the other hand...do you think he depends on her? I have a dear friend who might not be here today but for his sense of responsibility to his bird. And it might be hard on Pookie to be suddenly separated. There's just no good single way. Every choice is fraught.

Absolutely NOT! She is terrified of me! Or anyone/thing new,,and I have no house for her..

Jim

 

[sonja]

If he is considering rehoming her, why not encourage and help in that direction? Help post her on re-home sites, help screen potential homes. That way you are doing something positive to help, without taking her yourself. It may be that with all of this other issues actually following through on the leg work of rehoming may fall by the wayside for him. You could keep that ball rolling, and make it about helping *him*, not mentioning that you are really desperate to help the bird.