I messed up. How do I fix this?

[BeatriceC]

I dyed my hair Monday night. It's not a huge change. I was a natural redhead until I went totally white in my mid-20's and I've been dying it as close to the natural color as I can get out of a bottle ever since. The problem with red dyes is they fade pretty fast, so even though I used the same color I've been using for 15 years, it's still a pretty dramatic change in the beginning.

Well, Charlotte has reacted poorly to the change. Tuesday she acted like she'd never seen me before, and then started getting downright angry whenever I come into the room. I've only gotten her to step up on my arm once since Tuesday morning without doing actual damage (I required an ER visit Tuesday night...pinched, possibly damaged nerve in my wrist).

I don't know what to do. With the timing and her general pickiness about what I wear (she won't come near me if I'm wearing certain colors), I'm guessing she's reacting to the hair change. I don't know what to do other than pay a fortune to have it stripped, but then it'll likely be white, which will be yet another different color. Or I can just wait a few weeks until it fades. I have no clue. Sigh.

 

[Terry57]

Talli was so mad at me that I ended up dyeing my hair a different colour a few days after the first dye. My first one also had red tomes, and since I have had to stick with really dark browns to make him happy.

 

[wrench13]

Wear a hat?
Salty will not go near me if I am wearing one, so the reverse may be true with Charlette.

 

[BeatriceC]

Talli was so mad at me that I ended up dyeing my hair a different colour a few days after the first dye. My first one also had red tomes, and since I have had to stick with really dark browns to make him happy.

Gahhhh! Half my identity is wrapped up in being a redhead. The bright auburn dye fades into a reddish brownish blond after a few weeks, and I'd gotten lazy about keeping up with my roots. I dyed my hair last at the end of May, got Charlotte in July, and this was the first time I've done my hair since.

Perhaps I'll try a reddish brown dye if she is still acting like this by next week.

 

[SailBoat]

Regarding hair coloring. Stop using shampoos with salt in them. The salt is hard enough on your hair and it strips color rapidly.

Yup, you messed up and the goal now is getting back to that center point your Parrot has been comfortable.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Yeah... hat? Scarf? Is it long enough to pull back into a bun, lessening the appearance of mass? I feel your pain. For the first 5-10 years, every new pair of glasses or significant haircut or new shirt ticked the Rbird off. Over the years he has gotten a lot more tolerant, but he still yips or squawks when he notices a change. Maybe Charlotte can learn you're still you, over time... I hope so. Good luck, Red!

 

[Dinosrawr]

I'm really sorry to hear about this and the possible nerve damage!

Parrots are funny that way. They're allowed to have such bright, beautiful plumage but heaven forbid I have pretty nails or go a fun colour for my hair!

Part of it, I think, is desensitizing them to the situation all over again. Rather than trying to go the "You know me!" route, I'd opt the "Hi, nice to meet you" path. In a parrot's mind, your colours and simply your colours and instinctually a significant change in colour likely indicates a threat or health problem.

As always, lots of high reward treats, calm talking, and showing your bird that your hair is no threat (perhaps play with it, put it in your mouth, shake it around gently, touch it all over). If they eventually approach you, I'd continue to play with it to show them it means no harm. If your other birds are okay with it and Charlotte won't become aggressive with them, I'd have them play with it in front of her too to reinforce the idea if you're super keen on keeping the colour.

 

[BeatriceC]

Gail, my hair is a bit past my waist and is nearly always in a bun. In fact, the last time I had it down around her she freaked out and attacked it. This is all about the color, I think.

As for the fading, red dyes just fade faster than anything else, no matter what you do. Over 15 years I've found a color that I like that fades into another color that I *really* like, so I plan on sticking with it unless it becomes a major problem for Charlotte (e.g., I can't get her used to it.)

She hates hats and scarves.

She also hates my favorite navy blue sweatshirt.

She's a tiny bit better this afternoon. She's favoring MrC at the moment, but she's tentatively getting nicer to me. We shall see what progresses. Otherwise, I'm going to go find the harshest shampoo I can and wash my hair a bunch of times to fade it out faster.

 

[Anansi]

Sorry to hear about the possible nerve damage in your wrist! I hope it heals up swiftly.

As for the color issue, I agree with Chantal (Dinosrawr). Desensitization is likely the best tactic. I know some can freak out pretty heavily about color changes, though. My niece once made the mistake of painting all of her fingernails a bunch of different colors... all bright and eye-catching. Jolly acted as though she were a gorgon come to feast upon his bones... for the next 6 months! Hahaha!

Granted, he didn't get to see her every day, so there was no chance for desensitization. But wow, could he hold a grudge!

 

[GaleriaGila]

Beatrice, hang in there...

 

[plumsmum2005]

Just an idea - how about a turban type hat, can get them for ladies for use in the shower type thing as close to your previous colour? My thinking is if you contain most of your hair and slowly release a bit more little by little that may get you back in the good books without any damage to your lovely long hair?

 

[GaleriaGila]

Mum, THAT sounds like an idea! I like the gradual revelation. Could even do that with a scarf or other material, maybe...

 

[BeatriceC]

She's doing slightly better today. I think she's just gradually figuring out I'm the same person.

 

[Teknogeddon]

I dye my hair frequently, but only the bottom layers. I have a fire ombre on the bottom layers with red, yellow, and orange. Looks pretty heated.

This makes me worry.
OnO

Hair tip from a brunette dying her hair red every 2 months or so:
WASH COLD.
Wash your hair STUPID cold, with color safe shampoo ( I use 180 Pro- Damage, I've used Acure in the past with good result) . If you're like me and like to soak, tie it up and soak in a tub instead of a hot shower.
But get the water you do your hair with as cold as you can take it.

Perhaps invest in some colored shampoo to hold the color longer between dye sessions as well. Redken does it I think.

 

[SilleIN]

I have a brace for my wrists, as I have tendon issues in both wrists. The up side to that, is they protect my wrists from any serious attacks.

I know you can't go back in time, but perhaps a pair tendon braces could be a good investment to protect yourself in the future if Charlotte should react to future hair dyes or navy sweaters

I am sure Charlotte will come around, just give her time.

I would probably follow Dinosrawrs advice and rather than avoiding any colour Charlotte doesn't like, to desensitize her little by little to different colours. Hopefully this will help her handle next hair dyeing better

 

[BeatriceC]

Charlotte is actually doing much better. I think she just needed time. She's back to being Velcro bird. She's so funny sometimes.

In other news, she's got some pin feathers coming back in on her back that she appears to be leaving alone. I'm almost afraid to hope, but perhaps she might get some real feathers.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Whew!
She's a smartie-pants... too Rbird years to figure out I'm the same person no matter the color of this or that!

 

[BeatriceC]

She's just weird. She has definite opinions on what I wear. She hates certain sweatshirts. I know better than to wear them around her, or to take them off before I try to handle her.

 

[Reni]

I don't have the problem with hair dyes, as I don't dye my hair, but with nail polish with my two cockatiels. I was so happy a few years ago to have found the same colour of nail polish as my best friend who had died a year earlier, used to wear. So, put it on, and oh my..... first couldn't figure out why both cockatiels didn't want to step up after their free flying time. After trying several times I finally realized that they were scared of my different looking nails. So I had to take the polish off, and tada.... they stepped up easily!!!
Reni

 

[OutlawedSpirit]

I've never really had an issue with this, myself. I've drastically cut and dyed my hair, and the chicken doesn't care. I don't wear nail polish, because I can't have it at work. She had an issue with the color orange for a while, so I went out of my way to wear orange anytime I interacted with her, and she got over it pretty quickly.

Tiki really doesn't care, there are some advantages to him being blind.