I killed Shelby.

[Patty550]

On Friday, Patty was on the couch and Shelby was on top of her play stand. I went to lay down and I forgot to put shelby in her cage in another room. A little while later, Patty started yelling, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, I got out of bed fast, which is difficult with my health, and as I entered the living room, I saw her thrashing around. I gently picked her up and I think her neck was injured after seeing blood on her head and neck, but not much, I starting freaking out by screaming and yelling no,...no,...please God and Jesus, save her ! but moments later, she died. I started walking around with her in my arms and on my chest. Like we always did, I rolled her on her back and put her beak under my nose, and kiss her beak. I walked around the house like that for a long....time. At first, I couldn't cry, I assume because I was in shock, then I finally started balling, for hours. I'm 60 yrs old and sounded like a little kid. I haven't slept much. I'm crying all the time, with the guilt....

Early this morning in bed I opened a chat with God, Jesus and Shelby. I said I'm sorry to all of you, I killed you Shell....I'm so sorry !!! I can't blame our Shelti Akito, he had enough of her coming after him. Shelby is a very sweet kind soul with a very high spirit, but she did not like him, maybe jealous over our strong relationship. She was fine,.....with our other two dogs and three cats.

I can't shake off my guilt and maybe not ever. If I hadn't have forgot to put her in her cage before my nap, she would be in her cage this morning saying her typical, "hey baby" like come get me. I'd say "hey Shell, good morning" as I brought her out, and with her looking at me and I'd say, "did you have a good sleepy" and she would squat up & down meaning yes. I'd say, "lets go start the day, ok" .

I would put her on her play stand and say, are you hungry, and she say yes' so I would grab a handfull of food and kind on throw it into her dish and say, "wow, the ping says fresh" ! She would put a pellet into her water bowl to get some moisture and sometimes leave a piece in the water which would swell and look grosse, so I'd say, "ickey water, lets get some fresh H20".

How do I get over my guilt, or won't I ?
After 11 years, she laid 3 eggs ! So in the last photo, she's tending to it.
In another one she was always my "mechanic helper" handing me my wrench's. lol
Shelby was helper mechanic handing me wrench's. Kissing the snowman.



What can I do ?

 

[StormyPica]

I have no advice, I just wanted to say that that must be really horrible to experience, but she was obviously extremely loved. I have experienced something similar with a couple pets... it is really horrible. I'm sorry I have no advice, I get over death incredibly easily, within a couple days.

Best of luck.

 

[StormyPica]

Hopefully others will respond soon, I am so sorry you're going through this.

 

[zERo]

I’m so sorry for your loss.
Words can only offer a small sentiment but they can help in the darkest of times.

I hope you are able to recover from this and learn from this experience so you can better provide a wonderful environment and love another parrot just as much as you love Shelby.

 

[Terry57]

I'm so very sorry for your loss of your beautiful Shelby. Please stop blaming yourself, we all make mistakes. It's obvious how much Shelby was and is loved. That love doesn't go away, they leave some of their love for you behind to comfort you.

I think many of us struggle with guilt over something we did or didn't do when one of our babies crosses the Rainbow Bridge. I'm also 60, and I lost one of my birds a few weeks ago. I still feel guilt that if only I was seeing them as much as I was before the stairs became too hard to do every day, that I would have caught something that my husband missed.

Neither of us can change what happened, and Shelby would not want you to feel guilty, just as Justice wouldn't for me.
I can think of him now with some joy for having had the honour of having him mixed in with the pain.
I hope it will be the same for you.

Fly free, sweet Shelby, you will be forever remembered and forever missed.

 

[Jcas]

My heart breaks for you in this time of grief. I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this. In the past, I have had a tragic loss of a bird to a visiting dog and perhaps know a taste of what you are going through. I had told everyone to keep the bird room door closed while the dog was here. I thought the door was latched and then in the two minutes I was in the bathroom, somehow the door blew open and my little bird was snatched. He was already old and failing which is the only reason the dog could grab him as he was a great flyer in his prime. I don’t think the dog actually killed him but rather the stress was just too much for his little heart. I was the last one in the bird room. I was the one who didn’t latch the door correctly. It is so easy and natural to look back and say, “if only I had…” but the truth is: We are human. We make mistakes. Forgiving ourselves is so often much harder than forgiving others but the only thing we are guilty of, really, is not being perfect. And that is the human condition. Up until that moment, I had made every effort to give my bird his best life. Now, I had to let go of my guilt to move on. My bird wasn’t mad at me and God wasn’t mad at me. I had to stop being mad at myself. It sounds like you have taken the right first step in apologizing to Shelby. Now, let her know that you release her to be free forever. Then, try to forgive yourself. You gave Shelby an amazing life while she was with you. She was one happy bird and that is something you did totally right. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.

 

[LaManuka]

On Friday, Patty was on the couch and Shelby was on top of her play stand. I went to lay down and I forgot to put shelby in her cage in another room. A little while later, Patty started yelling, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, I got out of bed fast, which is difficult with my health, and as I entered the living room, I saw her thrashing around. I gently picked her up and I think her neck was injured after seeing blood on her head and neck, but not much, I starting freaking out by screaming and yelling no,...no,...please God and Jesus, save her ! but moments later, she died. I started walking around with her in my arms and on my chest. Like we always did, I rolled her on her back and put her beak under my nose, and kiss her beak. I walked around the house like that for a long....time. At first, I couldn't cry, I assume because I was in shock, then I finally started balling, for hours. I'm 60 yrs old and sounded like a little kid. I haven't slept much. I'm crying all the time, with the guilt....

Early this morning in bed I opened a chat with God, Jesus and Shelby. I said I'm sorry to all of you, I killed you Shell....I'm so sorry !!! I can't blame our Shelti Akito, he had enough of her coming after him. Shelby is a very sweet kind soul with a very high spirit, but she did not like him, maybe jealous over our strong relationship. She was fine,.....with our other two dogs and three cats.

I can't shake off my guilt and maybe not ever. If I hadn't have forgot to put her in her cage before my nap, she would be in her cage this morning saying her typical, "hey baby" like come get me. I'd say "hey Shell, good morning" as I brought her out, and with her looking at me and I'd say, "did you have a good sleepy" and she would squat up & down meaning yes. I'd say, "lets go start the day, ok" .

I would put her on her play stand and say, are you hungry, and she say yes' so I would grab a handfull of food and kind on throw it into her dish and say, "wow, the ping says fresh" ! She would put a pellet into her water bowl to get some moisture and sometimes leave a piece in the water which would swell and look grosse, so I'd say, "ickey water, lets get some fresh H20".

How do I get over my guilt, or won't I ?
After 11 years, she laid 3 eggs ! So in the last photo, she's tending to it.
In another one she was always my "mechanic helper" handing me my wrench's. lol
Shelby was helper mechanic handing me wrench's. Kissing the snowman.



What can I do ? View attachment 51210View attachment 51211View attachment 51212View attachment 51213View attachment 51214View attachment 51215




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@Patty550, I am so awfully sorry for your loss of your precious girl, Shelby. I agree that you should not blame yourself, I know for a fact that Shelby does not want that for you, she knows how much you love her and she always will, into eternity. I lost a little lorikeet hen called Lilly back in January 2022 who meant the world to me - I could have lost her any number of times prior because she was SO fast around the house and a bit accident prone. Somehow we managed to avoid disaster on those occasions, only to lose her when I thought I was doing everything right for her when she was diagnosed with egg-yolk peritonitis at the age of only three and a half and despite the very best of veterinary care. Even now I cannot think of it without bursting into tears and wondering if I had done something differently she might still be here. Sometimes no matter what we do, these things are just beyond our control. I know that my Lilly is still here though, watching over me, just as Shelby will be there with you always.

It took me a VERY long time to get past the worst of the pain of losing her, but I found what helped me most was a post I stumbled across on Facebook (of all places!) by a gent named John Farrell - he seemed to articulate best how pointless it is to torment ourselves with all the "what if's" and it helped me enormously, so I hope these words from him will help you too....

"Attend these words. When your pet is called home, cherish your memories until you see them again. All too often I see people second guessing themselves. What if i had done this? What if i had done that? Was it the right time? and so on. None of us have crystal balls do we? If I had kept her in my house that night would she have lived another ten years or longer? Who knows? But I do know this - they had the best years of love and care with you that they could ever have wished for, so torturing oneself is totally unwarranted. Whether it be by advancing years, illness or accident, some things are not in our control. They are controlled by the One who gave them to us, and His ways are not our ways. Whatever or however, their journey is mapped out before we get them into our lives, so never entertain your doubts or uncertainties. The promise was fulfilled when you received them, and one day the promise will be fulfilled to you. And there's no doubt or uncertainty in that."

Please accept my very deepest condolences for your loss, @Patty550. I know that your beautiful Shelby will be waiting for you and will greet you with love, just as all our precious ones will

 

[kme3388]

I’m very sorry for your loss. Shelby was absolutely beautiful. I watched this video I’ll attach below after I lost one of my fur babies. It really helped me through the grieving process.

 

[wrench13]

Don't beat yourself over this, please! I express my heartfelt condolences to you over this accident. And thats what it is - an accident, not something that was premeditated or planned. SO many what ifs will drive you crazy.

You should know however that I make a twice yearly donation to the Cornell Univ. vet program, and include all the names of the parrots who have passed in this 6 month period. The donation is directed to be used exclusively on parrot related studies and programs. Shelby will be commemorated!

 

[Tanglwood02]

On Friday, Patty was on the couch and Shelby was on top of her play stand. I went to lay down and I forgot to put shelby in her cage in another room. A little while later, Patty started yelling, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, I got out of bed fast, which is difficult with my health, and as I entered the living room, I saw her thrashing around. I gently picked her up and I think her neck was injured after seeing blood on her head and neck, but not much, I starting freaking out by screaming and yelling no,...no,...please God and Jesus, save her ! but moments later, she died. I started walking around with her in my arms and on my chest. Like we always did, I rolled her on her back and put her beak under my nose, and kiss her beak. I walked around the house like that for a long....time. At first, I couldn't cry, I assume because I was in shock, then I finally started balling, for hours. I'm 60 yrs old and sounded like a little kid. I haven't slept much. I'm crying all the time, with the guilt....

Early this morning in bed I opened a chat with God, Jesus and Shelby. I said I'm sorry to all of you, I killed you Shell....I'm so sorry !!! I can't blame our Shelti Akito, he had enough of her coming after him. Shelby is a very sweet kind soul with a very high spirit, but she did not like him, maybe jealous over our strong relationship. She was fine,.....with our other two dogs and three cats.

I can't shake off my guilt and maybe not ever. If I hadn't have forgot to put her in her cage before my nap, she would be in her cage this morning saying her typical, "hey baby" like come get me. I'd say "hey Shell, good morning" as I brought her out, and with her looking at me and I'd say, "did you have a good sleepy" and she would squat up & down meaning yes. I'd say, "lets go start the day, ok" .

I would put her on her play stand and say, are you hungry, and she say yes' so I would grab a handfull of food and kind on throw it into her dish and say, "wow, the ping says fresh" ! She would put a pellet into her water bowl to get some moisture and sometimes leave a piece in the water which would swell and look grosse, so I'd say, "ickey water, lets get some fresh H20".

How do I get over my guilt, or won't I ?
After 11 years, she laid 3 eggs ! So in the last photo, she's tending to it.
In another one she was always my "mechanic helper" handing me my wrench's. lol
Shelby was helper mechanic handing me wrench's. Kissing the snowman.



What can I do ? View attachment 51210View attachment 51211View attachment 51212View attachment 51213View attachment 51214View attachment 51215




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OMG I am so sorry!

 

[TaylorLincoln99]

On Friday, Patty was on the couch and Shelby was on top of her play stand. I went to lay down and I forgot to put shelby in her cage in another room. A little while later, Patty started yelling, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, I got out of bed fast, which is difficult with my health, and as I entered the living room, I saw her thrashing around. I gently picked her up and I think her neck was injured after seeing blood on her head and neck, but not much, I starting freaking out by screaming and yelling no,...no,...please God and Jesus, save her ! but moments later, she died. I started walking around with her in my arms and on my chest. Like we always did, I rolled her on her back and put her beak under my nose, and kiss her beak. I walked around the house like that for a long....time. At first, I couldn't cry, I assume because I was in shock, then I finally started balling, for hours. I'm 60 yrs old and sounded like a little kid. I haven't slept much. I'm crying all the time, with the guilt....

Early this morning in bed I opened a chat with God, Jesus and Shelby. I said I'm sorry to all of you, I killed you Shell....I'm so sorry !!! I can't blame our Shelti Akito, he had enough of her coming after him. Shelby is a very sweet kind soul with a very high spirit, but she did not like him, maybe jealous over our strong relationship. She was fine,.....with our other two dogs and three cats.

I can't shake off my guilt and maybe not ever. If I hadn't have forgot to put her in her cage before my nap, she would be in her cage this morning saying her typical, "hey baby" like come get me. I'd say "hey Shell, good morning" as I brought her out, and with her looking at me and I'd say, "did you have a good sleepy" and she would squat up & down meaning yes. I'd say, "lets go start the day, ok" .

I would put her on her play stand and say, are you hungry, and she say yes' so I would grab a handfull of food and kind on throw it into her dish and say, "wow, the ping says fresh" ! She would put a pellet into her water bowl to get some moisture and sometimes leave a piece in the water which would swell and look grosse, so I'd say, "ickey water, lets get some fresh H20".

How do I get over my guilt, or won't I ?
After 11 years, she laid 3 eggs ! So in the last photo, she's tending to it.
In another one she was always my "mechanic helper" handing me my wrench's. lol
Shelby was helper mechanic handing me wrench's. Kissing the snowman.



What can I do ? View attachment 51210View attachment 51211View attachment 51212View attachment 51213View attachment 51214View attachment 51215




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I’m so sorry for your loss!

 

[Birds-of-middle-earth]

If Shelby were here right now, I think she'd tell you it wasn't your fault. I think we all have the 'what if I'd done...' after something like this happens but the truth is, your feather baby wouldn't want you to be unhappy and she'll be waiting for you across the rainbow bridge. Sending lots of love.

 

[GryphonHound]

I'm so sorry

 

[Percival the great]

Aw man I know exactly how you’re feeling! I’ve lost countless pets all before their time and the guilt can literally destroy you! Just know that even though it seams like your fault it really wasn’t life happens and no one is perfect! so I know you’ll run through that day again and again trying to re do it, but please please know that we all have made mistakes the ending for some are just unfortunately not as nice something that helped me is make a nice grave stone or memory book… like saying sorry

 

[Rambosmother]

On Friday, Patty was on the couch and Shelby was on top of her play stand. I went to lay down and I forgot to put shelby in her cage in another room. A little while later, Patty started yelling, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, I got out of bed fast, which is difficult with my health, and as I entered the living room, I saw her thrashing around. I gently picked her up and I think her neck was injured after seeing blood on her head and neck, but not much, I starting freaking out by screaming and yelling no,...no,...please God and Jesus, save her ! but moments later, she died. I started walking around with her in my arms and on my chest. Like we always did, I rolled her on her back and put her beak under my nose, and kiss her beak. I walked around the house like that for a long....time. At first, I couldn't cry, I assume because I was in shock, then I finally started balling, for hours. I'm 60 yrs old and sounded like a little kid. I haven't slept much. I'm crying all the time, with the guilt....

Early this morning in bed I opened a chat with God, Jesus and Shelby. I said I'm sorry to all of you, I killed you Shell....I'm so sorry !!! I can't blame our Shelti Akito, he had enough of her coming after him. Shelby is a very sweet kind soul with a very high spirit, but she did not like him, maybe jealous over our strong relationship. She was fine,.....with our other two dogs and three cats.

I can't shake off my guilt and maybe not ever. If I hadn't have forgot to put her in her cage before my nap, she would be in her cage this morning saying her typical, "hey baby" like come get me. I'd say "hey Shell, good morning" as I brought her out, and with her looking at me and I'd say, "did you have a good sleepy" and she would squat up & down meaning yes. I'd say, "lets go start the day, ok" .

I would put her on her play stand and say, are you hungry, and she say yes' so I would grab a handfull of food and kind on throw it into her dish and say, "wow, the ping says fresh" ! She would put a pellet into her water bowl to get some moisture and sometimes leave a piece in the water which would swell and look grosse, so I'd say, "ickey water, lets get some fresh H20".

How do I get over my guilt, or won't I ?
After 11 years, she laid 3 eggs ! So in the last photo, she's tending to it.
In another one she was always my "mechanic helper" handing me my wrench's. lol
Shelby was helper mechanic handing me wrench's. Kissing the snowman.



What can I do ? View attachment 51210View attachment 51211View attachment 51212View attachment 51213View attachment 51214View attachment 51215




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I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. It was an accident. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your feathered baby knows he was loved. Rip Shelby.