Betrisher
Well-known member
- Jun 3, 2013
- 4,253
- 177
- Parrots
- Dominic: Galah(RIP: 1981-2018); The Lovies: Four Blue Masked Lovebirds; Barney and Madge (The Beaks): Alexandrines; Miss Rosetta Stone: Little Corella
I should like to begin my latest diatribe with a quotation from the Scots poet, Robbie Burns (as distinct from the Hebrew poet, Rabbi Burns, but that's another story).
"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain..."
The inexorable truth of this statement was borne out to me most vividly this afternoon as I lay prone upon my kitchen floor with my arms around the dog, my eye upon the Galah and squawking like a mad thing for my husband, who was naked (as is his wont) in the shower.
It all began like this.
I was tidying up my estates in Stronghold Kingdoms, my MMOG of choice. I have to humbly admit, my castles aren't quite what they should be and I have far too many idle peasants and far too few ballistae and seige engines. So. There was I, busily putting those devil-may-care peasants to work and adding in seige workshops. Suddenly, Dominic bellowed and flapped his wings!
I digress to say for those of you who don't know, that Dominic is our Galah whose domain is on top of the fridge. He is a free-range Galah and has a playgym suspended above the back door which contains all of his exercise equipment as well as his rummage basket where he retreats at times to turn various items into confetti. We reckon this is a Good Plan because it allows Dommie to spend time with his family and us to interact with him often. Which we do. Only thing is, Dom has to be watched carefully on account of two cats and one dog. We thought all that was well under control.
Anyway, to continue: Dom was flapping excitedly and 'p'snipping' for all he was worth. Fearing Dom might fly and hence provide an irresistible prey item for Miss Rox, I leaped to my feet. Rox, who had been sleeping the Sleep of the Just at my feet, leaped also realising something was up. Just then, Dommie did fly, but missed his mark and plummetted to the top of a small bookshelf and then bounced off. He was in the (unsuccessful) act of trying to claw his way back to his fridge as I reached desperately to cup him in my outstretched hands. Only, my foot got caught in the tiny ridge between the kitchen lino and the computer room floor.
DOWN I went!
Of course, Rox was filled with consternation on account of my sudden arrival at floor level and began to clean my teeth for me with her long pink tongue. Fully aware that Dommie was now on the floor as well and thus vulnerable to Rox, Seamus and Genevieve, I began to bellow for Hunn to come and save him. I had a half-nelson on Rox, who was quite happy about that as she'd transferred her attention from the no-longer-flapping Dommie to the shrieking me. My teeth got a REALLY good clean!
It was round about this moment that I realised I had fallen rather heavily on my right knee and so I began to wail words to that effect to poor Hunn who by now was hovering over me and dripping in a most affectionate and fellow-feeling sort of way into my eyes.
'Get up!' he exhorted. 'You can't stay there!'
'Save Dominic!' I bellowed, 'He's under the table and I can't hold onto Rox much longer!'
'P'snip!' said Dommie. 'P'snip, p'snip, P'SNIP!!!'
So, dear Hunn managed to get hold of Dominic and put him back on his fridge. Rox had ceased cleaning my teeth and I spat and spat with my stomach heaving. My knee was killing me and it took a good ten minutes before I could even think about how I would get myself up off the floor. Meanwhile, Hunn continued to rain Imperial Leather soapsuds all over me as he anxiously offered advice based on the solid principles of Physics. I told him to get back in his shower and I would work it out myself, probably with logs.
As Aristotle famously said, 'Give me a fulcrum and I shall move the world'. Thus it was that I was able to lever myself aloft by upturning a chair and using it as my fulcrum. I am now seated safely in my computer chair and I have no plans for leaving it in the foreseeable future.
Oh, and yes, my knee is aching miserably and I feel decidedly wonky, having swallowed half a bottle of industrial-strength Listerine. :22_yikes:
"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain..."
The inexorable truth of this statement was borne out to me most vividly this afternoon as I lay prone upon my kitchen floor with my arms around the dog, my eye upon the Galah and squawking like a mad thing for my husband, who was naked (as is his wont) in the shower.
It all began like this.
I was tidying up my estates in Stronghold Kingdoms, my MMOG of choice. I have to humbly admit, my castles aren't quite what they should be and I have far too many idle peasants and far too few ballistae and seige engines. So. There was I, busily putting those devil-may-care peasants to work and adding in seige workshops. Suddenly, Dominic bellowed and flapped his wings!
I digress to say for those of you who don't know, that Dominic is our Galah whose domain is on top of the fridge. He is a free-range Galah and has a playgym suspended above the back door which contains all of his exercise equipment as well as his rummage basket where he retreats at times to turn various items into confetti. We reckon this is a Good Plan because it allows Dommie to spend time with his family and us to interact with him often. Which we do. Only thing is, Dom has to be watched carefully on account of two cats and one dog. We thought all that was well under control.
Anyway, to continue: Dom was flapping excitedly and 'p'snipping' for all he was worth. Fearing Dom might fly and hence provide an irresistible prey item for Miss Rox, I leaped to my feet. Rox, who had been sleeping the Sleep of the Just at my feet, leaped also realising something was up. Just then, Dommie did fly, but missed his mark and plummetted to the top of a small bookshelf and then bounced off. He was in the (unsuccessful) act of trying to claw his way back to his fridge as I reached desperately to cup him in my outstretched hands. Only, my foot got caught in the tiny ridge between the kitchen lino and the computer room floor.
DOWN I went!
Of course, Rox was filled with consternation on account of my sudden arrival at floor level and began to clean my teeth for me with her long pink tongue. Fully aware that Dommie was now on the floor as well and thus vulnerable to Rox, Seamus and Genevieve, I began to bellow for Hunn to come and save him. I had a half-nelson on Rox, who was quite happy about that as she'd transferred her attention from the no-longer-flapping Dommie to the shrieking me. My teeth got a REALLY good clean!
It was round about this moment that I realised I had fallen rather heavily on my right knee and so I began to wail words to that effect to poor Hunn who by now was hovering over me and dripping in a most affectionate and fellow-feeling sort of way into my eyes.
'Get up!' he exhorted. 'You can't stay there!'
'Save Dominic!' I bellowed, 'He's under the table and I can't hold onto Rox much longer!'
'P'snip!' said Dommie. 'P'snip, p'snip, P'SNIP!!!'
So, dear Hunn managed to get hold of Dominic and put him back on his fridge. Rox had ceased cleaning my teeth and I spat and spat with my stomach heaving. My knee was killing me and it took a good ten minutes before I could even think about how I would get myself up off the floor. Meanwhile, Hunn continued to rain Imperial Leather soapsuds all over me as he anxiously offered advice based on the solid principles of Physics. I told him to get back in his shower and I would work it out myself, probably with logs.
As Aristotle famously said, 'Give me a fulcrum and I shall move the world'. Thus it was that I was able to lever myself aloft by upturning a chair and using it as my fulcrum. I am now seated safely in my computer chair and I have no plans for leaving it in the foreseeable future.
Oh, and yes, my knee is aching miserably and I feel decidedly wonky, having swallowed half a bottle of industrial-strength Listerine. :22_yikes:
and Dommie is okay! 
