I feel lost

[Shrub]

Hello, I am not sure what I am doing wrong. I feel defeated at the moment. I have a little Kakariki boy, his 11 months old. He can talk about, use to enjoy sitting with me, I trained him to come when I called him. His name is Riki, he can say Good boy, Riki, Moi.
But now he has started to attack me. I try and ignore it as much as I can as it says online, you can't really tell them off or punish them. If I o to open his cage he would try and bite my fingers, if I let him out of his cage he will fly around and not come when called, or if he does, he will land then within about 2 seconds take off again. If he sits on my sholder he might be good for a little bit then for no reason lunge forward and bite as hard as he can on my lips and face, he has a few times flown towards me straight to my face instead of my sholder like he use to, he has landed on my arm then lunged towards me almost right away. I would like to train him more but I can't hold his attention. He use to sit and talk to me, he liked it when I would whistle for him, now if I try he attacks me.
I don't want to keep him locked away every day all day, it is not fair on him, and I don't feel it is right but I am becoming a little fearful from him and I try and not be.
I am on facebook groups but a lot of the times they say he needs a mate, I don't want to get him a mate, I don't want to breed him I don't want to raise little birds. Most people on the facebook groups seem to be bird breeders.
His healthy, he is spoiled, I give him fresh vege and fruit with his seeds, I like to let him out every day for free fly time if I sit next to his cage he will sit on the closest perch near me, he calls out to me and I answer and we can talk while his in the cage.
I don't want to get rid of him, his my compainion. But I just broke down in tears tonight, I have looked so much up online trying to figure out something, but I feel betrayed and defeated lately I just don't know what to do. I want my sweet lil bird back.

 

[Littleredbeak]

I have no advice other than I believe you bird is going through puberty and it will pass. Members who have experience of birds going through puberty and advice of how they handleded it will see your post and respond.

What youre going through sounds very hard and scary. At least I would be if I had a beak going after my face! Puberty is a apart of growing up just like it is with us. Are there toys Riki likes to destroy you can give him ? Maybe set up foraging for food to help get some bent up energy and frustration out.

 

[T00tsyd]

OK try not to worry. The first priority is that you stop getting bitten. It's no fun and it doesn't help to know that Riki doesn't really mean it. It does sound as if he is facing his first set of hormones. It is possibly driving him crazy, he doesn't know what has hit him or how to deal with it. So take a step back and take a deep breath.

You cannot treat him like you have been until this passes and pass it will. It will take some time but don't have a timetable or any expectations. Watch him carefully. They rarely attack with no warning but you have to watch carefully for his body language. My experience is that the eyes change - they go hard with their version of an angry stare. When they are cuddly the eyes are soft. So as an example when Syd went through this it was awful, but I covered up with gloves, scarf, hat long sleeves so he couldn't get to me. I didn't offer hands or fingers but used a perch instead and if he flew at me I ducked out of the way to avoid him. I kept our relationship as neutral as I could and he had no privileges like cuddling, shoulder perching etc.

Just to check other things: make sure you do not pet anywhere except on the head - they see it as mate behaviour and you need to show that you are his parent not his mate. Has anything changed in your circumstances that could make him jealous, perhaps of another person? Don't let him tuck into dark/covered spaces, reduce his fruit intake to just a couple of times a week, and if he goes to attack you or succeeds say a loud firm 'NO' squeal like you are really hurt and put him away from you, anywhere but his cage, and ignore him completely. That means don't even look in his direction. All these actions tell him that you are unhappy with him. Let him return to you and chances are he will be a bit sheepish. Even then don't make a fuss of him just carry on as normal. It will pass I promise and your little love will return but he is really struggling at the moment and needs your help to get him to learn how to manage it. Stay calm and good luck it will improve.

 

[MykaMom]

The advice already given is sound.

Keep faith in the solid foundation you've built with him. The hormone surge will pass and one morning you will rediscover your baby has returned to normal.

 

[wrench13]

100% agree with everyone - this is hormonal puberty at its worst. They literally have zero control over their actions. Its the time when most parrots get rehomed, as owners feel much like you now - WHere did my cute playful loving bird go? He hates me now.
NO - he Hates/Loves everyone and every thing, now. THE suggestions above a re great and its going to take time for him to flush out the hormones and regain some control over himself. The main thing (besides not getting chewed up!) is to not let unwanted behavior become ingrained in him. Everu one of us who bought a baby parrot, from a budgie to a macaw has gone thru this period, so we all feel for you and

 

[Shrub]

update...

He seems to be getting worse not better. it has been a month and a half now. I try and spend some time with him, I can't do any training with him at the moment because of his behavior, he wont stay still long enough and wont stay near me if his out of his cage.
Everyone always says they don't attack without warning but its not true, so often if his out and he sees me he doesn't show any signs of agression then the next moment his flying at my face to attack me, doesn't do this to anyone else yet. when we have visitors I wont allow him out. My husband even noticed the other day I let him out to get some excercise he was on the other side of the room then just flew at me and started trying to bite my lips, if he can't bite my lips. The only time I get warning is if he is in his cage he will slowly open his beak when I go to change his food or water.
Wouldn't be so bad if it was gentle but he bites as hard as he can and I cann't always stop or block it, I have a scar on my cheek just under my eye from 3 weeks ago. I barely let him out which I hate, I like it when he can fly freely around during the day for excercise. I try and ignore him when his done such things. If he comes towards me I have started flinching.
It is so stressful. I know he doen't hate me even tho it feels like it. he'll be a year old in a few days.

 

[T00tsyd]

Wear a large hat with a brim - like a sun hat. You really must protect yourself. I would check with a good avian vet to make sure that he is completely healthy just as a safeguard. Other than that can your husband take over the daily care? You really don't need to get attacked. Is he getting consistent action for his bad behaviour? Everyone in the house has to treat him the same when he bites. You are all his flock so it is flock banishment. I have one other thought. If he favours your husband - is that likely? Then he might view you as a rival for your husband's affections. In which case your husband has to make it very clear what the relationship is.

 

[vljenewein]

Do you wear perfume?

 

[Laurasea]

Sometimes something happened that broke trust or made them fearful. Sometimes you can pin point when thst happened Sometimes only the bird knows. It has happened to me with mine, of different species.

Was has worked for me is a lot of bribes fed by hand abd rebuilding trust. Many give the same advice. Start over. Pretend you just brought him home, and start the bonding trust building all over. Go and just say hi and give a treat, no other expectations. Do this many times a day over and over. If he isn't at the point anymore to take treats by hand, then start with a treat only dish for now, and work back up to being able to give by hand.

Take a look at environment , are there changes that can be disturbing him? New people or pets?

Do short target training , never more than 5 reps a session. But you can repeat after a break a few times a day. Set up foraging for him, you can even do dime hands off foraging together, where you show the treat then cover with a piece if paper. And work up to harder stuff to get the treat.

 

[LaManuka]

update...

He seems to be getting worse not better. it has been a month and a half now. I try and spend some time with him, I can't do any training with him at the moment because of his behavior, he wont stay still long enough and wont stay near me if his out of his cage.
Everyone always says they don't attack without warning but its not true, so often if his out and he sees me he doesn't show any signs of agression then the next moment his flying at my face to attack me, doesn't do this to anyone else yet. when we have visitors I wont allow him out. My husband even noticed the other day I let him out to get some excercise he was on the other side of the room then just flew at me and started trying to bite my lips, if he can't bite my lips. The only time I get warning is if he is in his cage he will slowly open his beak when I go to change his food or water.
Wouldn't be so bad if it was gentle but he bites as hard as he can and I cann't always stop or block it, I have a scar on my cheek just under my eye from 3 weeks ago. I barely let him out which I hate, I like it when he can fly freely around during the day for excercise. I try and ignore him when his done such things. If he comes towards me I have started flinching.
It is so stressful. I know he doen't hate me even tho it feels like it. he'll be a year old in a few days.

I'm very sorry that I don't know anything at all about kakarikis. However, the behaviour that you describe here does sound A LOT like my lorikeet hen, Lilly, when she is at her hyper hormonal broody worst. She attacks me relentlessly all day long, every day, for about 5 months of each year, including flying across the room to attack my face, precisely *because* I am her favoured human and she desperately wants to have babies with me. Which leads me to ask, how certain are you that "he" is a male? Even if he is a male, this may well still be hyped up aggression linked to sexual maturity as others have mentioned. And as @wrench13 says, the first few seasons are often the worst for this. If this is the case it should pass, but if your kak is anything like my Lilly, it may take quite some time.

If it is at all practicable for you to do so, I would second the recommendation for a visit to the vet to rule out any other underlying health issue.

Good luck!

 

[vljenewein]

it is generally the females that are more aggressive I have read.

 

[wrench13]

Yeah this sounds more like the onset of puberty, which is a MASSIVE influx of hormones, and they have no idea of what they are doing. Literally. Love/Hate personified.

Remember : This too shall pass.

 

[vljenewein]

Post a good picture for us to all see

 

[Shrub]

Sometimes something happened that broke trust or made them fearful. Sometimes you can pin point when thst happened Sometimes only the bird knows. It has happened to me with mine, of different species.

Was has worked for me is a lot of bribes fed by hand abd rebuilding trust. Many give the same advice. Start over. Pretend you just brought him home, and start the bonding trust building all over. Go and just say hi and give a treat, no other expectations. Do this many times a day over and over. If he isn't at the point anymore to take treats by hand, then start with a treat only dish for now, and work back up to being able to give by hand.

Take a look at environment , are there changes that can be disturbing him? New people or pets?

Do short target training , never more than 5 reps a session. But you can repeat after a break a few times a day. Set up foraging for him, you can even do dime hands off foraging together, where you show the treat then cover with a piece if paper. And work up to harder stuff to get the treat.

I can't train him at the moment. it is that bad. Soon as I go to the cage he will stare at me, if i try and open the cage it attacks my fingers, continuiously attacks my hands and fingers when I change his food and water.
I try and spend time next to him, talking with him and trying bonding methods, I can't let him out of his cage he will fly straight to me and attack my face, he doesn't give me a chance. I was training him, now I can't hold his attention long enough. I talk to him every day, he still jumps back and forth in front of his door when he see's me enter the room, he always did that excitabley because he knew I was going to go spend time with him, not its just attack every chance he gets, I have scars all over my hands just from feeding him but can't let him starve.
I can't even let him out, today he got out while I was giving him fresh vege and soon as he saw me he flew towards my face from the other side of the room and tried to bite my face, small wound on my nose now.

My first kakariki was female, she died when she was 2 and a half, unknown cause but died one morning at the vets after rushing her there for an emergancy visit as she couldn't move and was weak, th only time she ever showed aggression was if someone tried to hold and grab her. But she never went out of her way to attack me or anyone

Riki is my second bird his healthy but just completely change personality. He was fine til he started biting, I know I can't punish him like you would a dog or cat and I have even explained this to y husband who always wants to try and help when his attacking. Even tho I tell him there is nothing he can do

 

[StormyPica]

I can't train him at the moment. it is that bad. Soon as I go to the cage he will stare at me, if i try and open the cage it attacks my fingers, continuiously attacks my hands and fingers when I change his food and water.
I try and spend time next to him, talking with him and trying bonding methods, I can't let him out of his cage he will fly straight to me and attack my face, he doesn't give me a chance. I was training him, now I can't hold his attention long enough. I talk to him every day, he still jumps back and forth in front of his door when he see's me enter the room, he always did that excitabley because he knew I was going to go spend time with him, not its just attack every chance he gets, I have scars all over my hands just from feeding him but can't let him starve.
I can't even let him out, today he got out while I was giving him fresh vege and soon as he saw me he flew towards my face from the other side of the room and tried to bite my face, small wound on my nose now.

My first kakariki was female, she died when she was 2 and a half, unknown cause but died one morning at the vets after rushing her there for an emergancy visit as she couldn't move and was weak, th only time she ever showed aggression was if someone tried to hold and grab her. But she never went out of her way to attack me or anyone

Riki is my second bird his healthy but just completely change personality. He was fine til he started biting, I know I can't punish him like you would a dog or cat and I have even explained this to y husband who always wants to try and help when his attacking. Even tho I tell him there is nothing he can do

How about having a 'self care' day? Parrots can be stressful, and it's ok to admit you need a break for a bit!

Take care of your mental health!

 

[Shrub]

Update...

Some days are okay he seems less vicious, and other days he can't wait til he tries to attack me. Soon as I go near his cage, mouth open watching me. I hae to try and distract him to change his seeds every day, he doesn't gentle bite, he full on bites down, I have a few cuts around my hands and fingers. Just from him biting me. He has hit his head against his cage (not to the point it hurts him not that hard) trying to get at me to attack me. I have tried to train him but I cant hold his attention for training as all he wants to do is attack me. He has been like this since November. I can't let him out of his cage, I hate him being in there 24/7 he use to come out every day for hours flying around and sitting with me, would sit on the couch with me, would sit at my computer with me. Now if he comes out he will fly to sit on my head or sholder if he see's my hand or face he tries to attack me. He is not like this with other people.
I have never tried to hit him I don't grab him. He is about 14/15 months old now. He was almost 11 months old when this has started and does seem to be stopping any time soon. He is healthy, he talks to me still, he will call out to me and when I answer him he happily answers me back and we go back and forth every day.
I put water in his cage, he will have a bath, if i try and give him a treat half the tim he will take the treat, drop it then try and attack my hand. I admitt there are times I have to just walk away as I ose my paitience a little. I have tried the when he tries to bite walk away and ignore him but doesnt seem to work. I miss my lil birdy sitting and playing with me.

 

[MayMaroa]

try this
put the birdcage beside you (but not really that close) put it somewhere you spend the most time with and just stay beside him (while he is in the cage) and put on some calm music do that for a week and tell me the result

 

[MayMaroa]

Update...

Some days are okay he seems less vicious, and other days he can't wait til he tries to attack me. Soon as I go near his cage, mouth open watching me. I hae to try and distract him to change his seeds every day, he doesn't gentle bite, he full on bites down, I have a few cuts around my hands and fingers. Just from him biting me. He has hit his head against his cage (not to the point it hurts him not that hard) trying to get at me to attack me. I have tried to train him but I cant hold his attention for training as all he wants to do is attack me. He has been like this since November. I can't let him out of his cage, I hate him being in there 24/7 he use to come out every day for hours flying around and sitting with me, would sit on the couch with me, would sit at my computer with me. Now if he comes out he will fly to sit on my head or sholder if he see's my hand or face he tries to attack me. He is not like this with other people.
I have never tried to hit him I don't grab him. He is about 14/15 months old now. He was almost 11 months old when this has started and does seem to be stopping any time soon. He is healthy, he talks to me still, he will call out to me and when I answer him he happily answers me back and we go back and forth every day.
I put water in his cage, he will have a bath, if i try and give him a treat half the tim he will take the treat, drop it then try and attack my hand. I admitt there are times I have to just walk away as I ose my paitience a little. I have tried the when he tries to bite walk away and ignore him but doesnt seem to work. I miss my lil birdy sitting and playing with me.

i wish you all the luck

 

[Shrub]

try this
put the birdcage beside you (but not really that close) put it somewhere you spend the most time with and just stay beside him (while he is in the cage) and put on some calm music do that for a week and tell me the result

I have been sitting with him, if i sit on the floor he will sit at the bottom of the cage and calms down and sits with me, i can give him seeds without him trying to attack me soon as I stand up he goes back to agressive. He is always in the living room where I spend most the time. before I had to confine him to his cage, He would have the freedom to be at my computer desk when I was there, he would be in the kitchen with me when I put the shopping away or was cooking.
this is a picture from today giving him fresh seeds. He managed to bite my finger and was pulling it. The area is now kinda black/blue and bruised.

 

[MayMaroa]

i am so so sorry
wait you said as soon as you stand up he goes back to aggressive.
maybe he just doesn't like that you higher than him